Psychological counseling, because some things lead to my lack of confidence and courage to do what I want to do, is really confused. What should I do? Help!

I hope the following words can answer for you!

Courage in a long-distance relationship, the first thing you need is courage, a courage to challenge reality, a courage to take any risks, and a courage to face failure calmly. We should understand that reality is a powerful and invisible force, and we can't predict what will happen, but we can take the courage to compete with this force, and we can also take the courage to accept the result of failure.

Loyalty in a different place without lover's company can easily make people feel a sense of psychological loneliness, which will arouse their inner desires and desires. Only absolute loyalty can resist the temptation from the world. Loyalty is not "stupidity", but respect for feelings and self; Loyalty is not a delusion, but a refinement of noble personality; Loyalty is not "dull", it is a kind of morality and a kind of responsibility.

The trust in long-distance love gives the other person room to daydream, but also makes the other person feel insecure and have random suspicions about the other person, and love is often slowly resolved in these suspicions. Therefore, trust is the embodiment of mutual respect and equality between lovers, and building a bridge of trust is the most effective way to consolidate long-distance love. And love without trust will only become fragile in mutual suspicion.

Understanding is based on trust. You can't understand without trust. Don't get angry because one party is busy with work or has no time to pester others. You know, the pressure of reality won't make everyone live easily, so we should try our best to restrain our emotions, learn to understand each other, understand each other's hardships, and be their spiritual pillar. In this way, understanding will also become a regulator of their emotional warming.

In addition to the distance brought by time and space, psychological distance can not be ignored. Communication is the best way to maintain feelings and narrow the distance. Improper communication can turn distance into an obstacle, and proper communication can turn distance into motivation, so communication is both an art and a knowledge.

The goal of a long-distance relationship should be to lock in a goal, not to die. In fact, the ultimate goal of long-distance love is to create the same living conditions, because people who love each other can't live in two beautiful but unreachable environments, and the lotus flowers will grow in the same soil. Since we love each other, we must be together. In any case, we should go all out to fight for it.

Long-distance love is more resistant to waiting than the days of companionship, so both of them should be resistant to loneliness, cold without hugs, and anxiety that can only count down every day. But you should know that long-distance love is a race against time. If you persist, you will win. If you are defeated by time, you will miss that person all your life. Therefore, we must persist in the long-distance running of love, and then persist. As long as you can finish the game without ranking, you win!

Edit this paragraph to cultivate feelings.

If two people are separated but want to continue their love, it is always difficult to promise each other, which is understandable, but although it is difficult, it is not impossible. Long-distance lovers are always troubled by the constant forced change of schedule and inconvenience to each other. People who have experienced long-distance love will not hesitate to tell you how difficult it is to maintain long-distance love. So now let's take a look at some suggestions on how to maintain a long-distance relationship, hoping to help you maintain a beautiful relationship. I don't believe that anyone, at least a woman, will end a relationship because it is too far apart, but long-distance relationships often stop there. Two people fell in love somewhere, and then everyone else left there, but she stayed. Maybe she met him at a military base, and suddenly he was transferred to other places or even abroad. Maybe you fell in love with him when he came to your place for a holiday, but who can fly to Jakarta every weekend to fall in love?

Long-distance relationship test

If two people are separated but want to continue their love, it is always difficult to promise each other, which is understandable, but although it is difficult, it is not impossible. Long-distance love admitted that she had had several long-distance relationships, and several times ended in breaking up. But through these experiences, as long as both sides attach importance to this relationship, there are still tricks to maintain long-distance love. It must be remembered that the length of time you spend together and get to know each other before you leave the two places largely determines whether you will have a happy ending.

Define relationship

The first question of long-distance love is that you must know what your relationship is before you part, and what direction do you want the relationship to develop in the future: do you just want to be friends or go further? Do you want to get as close as possible when it is convenient? Can these be the conditions for you to have real and strong love? These decisive constraints are the most important. When things get worse, knowing the gap in your relationship can help you define the relationship between two people, and it can also help you to have less pain in a possible breakup, because you both know each other's position.

Regarding the separation between the two places, German sociologist Norbert Schneider said that more than 60% of separated couples complained that geographical distance had damaged their love. 40% people accuse each other of leaving too little time for themselves. Separated partnerships between the two places end after four years on average, while normal partnerships last at least five years on average. However, nearly14 people hold different views: they believe that only a separate partnership can make them live a satisfactory life and will not make their partners feel tired. Psychologist nonsense, statistics show that the separation between the two places ranks fourth among the reasons for divorce. However, he believes that the separation between the two places is not the main cause of divorce, it only accelerates or delays the end of marriage. First, there are some unavoidable practical problems in the separation between the two places: 1, the sense of loneliness that cannot be dismissed. Even if the internet speed is faster, the pixels are higher, and the cost is cheaper, it is just looking at missing and waiting in different places.

The feeling of seeing, hearing and touching, when he is not around at the critical moment, the sense of loss can only be experienced by lonely people. Both partners have no companions to follow. They are usually busy with work and may not have time to take care of this relationship, but they often don't want to go home on weekends and holidays. If you are sick or frustrated at work, the sense of helplessness is even stronger. However, running on the road, pinning their feelings on the road of communication, but facing life alone when each other needs it, may make both sides physically and mentally exhausted, thus aggravating this sense of loneliness. 2. Feelings fade with time, and there are fewer topics to talk about. Now Lili feels more and more that Mr. Gao Liang, who is far away from Dubai, is slowly fading out of his life circle. When we meet once a year, Lili finds that she seldom thinks of highlights. Chatting in the classroom day after day is nothing more than what happened to my daughter, what happened to the company, and two friends, that's all. Lovers become the most familiar strangers. 3, the body and mind are difficult to fit, and one party may be derailed. Sexual life is also an indispensable part of a happy marriage. The long-term separation of husband and wife artificially blocked the satisfaction of instinctive desires and the internal balance of marriage was broken. When the lover is not around, once the moral binding force is relaxed, it is very likely to have an extramarital affair. Second, it is not the distance of space, but the distance of heart, which is difficult to separate in the direction of happiness. How to make the mind close to make up for the distance in space? Do not hesitate to invest, work hard and try to create romance. MSN is familiar with it, grasps the latest network knowledge, is happy, sweet, sad and caring, and actively shares it with the other half, so that the speed of scientific and technological development can keep up with the changes of feelings in time. An unexpected love letter, a thousand gifts for an anniversary, an unexpected appearance without an agreement, and appearing in front of the other person when he needs it most can make love last forever. Cultivate your hobbies. For example, sports, such as shopping, such as watching movies, such as traveling, such as reading books, can distract the mood of missing, and two people meet and have new topics. Clever use of relatives and friends. When you are in a bad mood, remember to talk to your friends. When you need help, it is better to ask for help from your family and neighbors than to worry alone. Learn to empathize and live with a grateful heart. Most people in long-distance relationships can endure the pain of lovesickness-sometimes it is simply sweet. What they can't afford is the inequality of time and space. For example, if you call him in the rain, but no one answers, or say, "Call tomorrow, I'm entertaining!" " After "hello". An email didn't get a response immediately, and the doubts here stood up. Think more about the other person at this time: does he have any problems? Maybe he's really busy at work. Lucy, who has been studying alone for three years, has been grateful for this time and has been thinking about her husband's kindness. She said: "There is no reason for anyone in the world to be nice to you except parents. In this way, I will keep in mind my husband's kindness to me, and I can love each other a little. Two people naturally get along much better. "

Edit the secret of success in this paragraph.

Long-distance love needs to overcome not only the feelings of both sides, but also the ability to keep faith in one's own heart and the peace of mind in dealing with various situations. 1 Only by communicating smoothly can we separate the two places from anger and misunderstanding. Long-term anger and misunderstanding will make two people indifferent to each other, and may also make the poacher take advantage of it and make everything clear. If you are emotional, you should be rational. If you admit your mistake, of course, if no one really wants to bow their heads, please don't give priority to girls at this time. Angry, what do you say he (she) is not doing well? You don't like long-distance relationships.

In this case, I think if he realizes it, he will definitely restrain himself next time, because this is the need of his own woman; But if you say that you have no confidence in the love between two people, or "I don't care about you, and you don't care about me", "I don't know if I will like others", "Who do you think you are? How did I find you like this? I think it's really too much. Once or twice, these words may still achieve the purpose of making you angry with your boyfriend; But you should know that even if a man is uncomfortable, even if he cries, it is the easiest for him to suppress his disappointment. When he turned this disappointment into despair, it was really a sentence whether to break up or not. -Not his sudden, but his outburst. Therefore, I advise friends in long-distance relationships to know what angry words are and what words destroy confidence! If two people are aboveboard, it is best to always take the initiative to tell each other what they are doing and where they are. In this way, both sides have a bottom in their hearts, and they are relieved. And this has become a habit, and the possibility of being dug away will be greatly reduced. You should trust each other, believe that you can be together, separate the two places, and let your beliefs and beliefs support you. Constant confusion and lack of confidence in the future will shake feelings. The quarrel caused by minor contradictions may also be the fuse of breaking up. Love means trust. After all, it is a strange place, and it is impossible to see every word and deed every day. The suspicion of ignorance will ruin the sweetness of two people. Always consider a bottom line to prevent yourself from being caught off guard when you encounter sudden changes. Things always have to be done in a good direction, but you have to be prepared for the bad. Temporary separation will inevitably require two people to wait, but waiting is not terrible. The terrible thing is that you don't know what you are waiting for. This is the duty of faith and confidence: think of your woman from time to time, express this confidence and belief, and let her know that although you are not together now, you have been trying to achieve yourself; Strive for a happy life in the future. Only when two people firmly believe in their love can they talk about right and wrong. Therefore, at any time, no matter which one of the two people, we must understand this clearly. When you have no vision or even a wait-and-see attitude towards your love, you can only say that you are pathetic. Of course, if you still think so now, then don't continue reading my post. I despise people with this attitude. 3 use, keep the network lost in time, can not communicate in time, will make the other party unfamiliar. The timely arrival of the network will make you feel the feeling of your lover through virtual experience. Maintain a certain frequency of meeting, preferably once every few months. The pain of lovesickness also needs to be released, and the sweetness of a few days makes up for the lovesickness of the past few months. If you want to call her, just call her. Passing on your thoughts in time will make your love sweeter. But remember: if she doesn't answer (or hang up) or answer twice, you will definitely change from sweet to anxious (even a little angry) at this moment, but don't dial (send) if you are anxious (angry). Do your thing with peace of mind (as far as possible). She will call you when she sees it. On the other hand, if your girlfriend calls you (or sends a message), no matter how inconvenient it is, as long as you are around, try to give her at least one person to make her anxious. Don't ask why, because we are men, because we love our girlfriends. It must be admitted that anyone who wants to quarrel with his lover wants an immediate response; But in a long-distance relationship, you can't see each other, so you should replace this invisible obstacle with trust. If she doesn't answer you, it must be inconvenient for her. You should get used to the idea. The separation time between the two places is also longer than the wedding. A brief meeting after separation between the two places will definitely make each other feel long. In addition, there are many new things that can also increase the quality of long-distance love. In your spare time, try your best to surprise your baby. This surprise is not all about money, because many people like me are richer than money. For example, sending small cards online; It's nothing. Give her a romantic game ... and so on. Don't think that these are unnecessary and irrelevant. You know, the baby is in a different place, and it is inevitable to get married and go out for a while. You can't be with her now. Do you even want to save these trivial loves? Maybe these things seemed to be minor moves at that time, but if one recalls them in the future, the aftertaste is far greater than itself. Resolutely put an end to "hey, what are you doing? "Have you eaten? Can I help you? What, it's okay, then I'll hang up if I'm okay ... ",Oh, we are separated, we can't hold hands, we can't hug, and we can't solve any practical problems. Well, let's comfort each other. Maybe it's nonsense, but it's this nonsense that makes two people extrapolate, understanding, tolerance and love, all from this! If either party thinks that they are busy, don't have much time, and don't have so many topics, it's better to have a long pain than a short pain, or break up! 24 hours a day, can't you spare even one hour to get along with the people you love and the people who love you? I will miss her, I will miss him, I will miss him, I will be in a daze, I don't care what I say, I care about listening, I care about whispering ... I always think that boys and girls who can fall in love in different places are timid: but in the eyes of family members or pragmatic friends, one is silly and bold, and the other is daydreaming, hehe! But if the world were pragmatic people, there wouldn't be so many unforgettable lovesickness, so many lingering feelings and so many unforgettable stories! Liu Yong will not hold hands and look at each other with tears, and Li Qingzhao will not write a word to go to the West Building alone! We are a love scene at the station. We are lovers who can't touch each other. We are the protagonists in many stories who look far away through occlusion. We stubbornly adhere to the innocence in our hearts ... hate is like a chain, love is like running water. We need it every day! Worrying about the unknown is our greatest enemy!

suggestion

Rule 1: Make good use of the short message function, and send a message if nothing happens, which will not affect his work and study. One is that you think of him, and the other is that he can feel your presence immediately. Even if he has any ideas, or is doing something that may destroy the feelings between you, he will restrain his mind. Moreover, if you have ever had a meal or a walk with one person, but he keeps texting, you can understand how unpleasant it is for another person. Even if someone next to him has ulterior motives and plans to poach, how can his enthusiasm be temporarily lost when he sees this scene? Of course, he may be silent. He doesn't reply to many messages. If he is sure that he should be all right, just dial directly, and everyone can say anything. In short, it is a good thing. Article 2: No matter men or women, except old lovers, accidents can't happen during the day, always at night. So remember to text good night every day and make sure he sleeps where he belongs. Strictly speaking, you are not allowed to go out alone with the opposite sex at night. Say hello first if you need anything. Even if you go out, don't forget to remind him to go back to the dormitory later. If you don't listen, you might as well make a fuss. Tell him what you want to do and take care of your heart. Everyone has a conscience. Article 3: If he and his old lover are in the same city, be tolerant. Let him confess his normal relationship with his old lover in front of you. Don't say anything even if you are angry. It's a little wronged, but if he doesn't tell you anything, the situation will only get worse. You know, you are not with him after all. You can only pull this unbreakable silk more and more disorderly. In the end, you hurt yourself, but you ruined your love and pushed him to your old lover. Generally speaking, not many people go back, and chatting with old lovers is nothing more than because of the past. Everyone can be frank and have a good talk. Of course, there is a limit to everything, and after that, you must pull it back. Noisy is the best way to pull back. I think everyone has some experience about noise, but there is a limit to everything, and you can master it yourself. Article 4: Say your love. No matter how long we talk, love always remembers to say it. This is how the old couple are trained. No matter how many times they hear it, they are always happy to hear the words "I love you". Long-distance relationships are usually invisible, let alone how he knows you love her. Article 5: Take care of everything, and do what you want others to do first. Article 6: Keep a certain frequency of meeting, preferably once every few months. The pain of lovesickness also needs to be released, and the sweetness of a few days makes up for the lovesickness of the past few months. Article 7: If two people are aboveboard, it is best to always take the initiative to tell each other what they are doing and where they are. In this way, both sides have a bottom in their hearts, and they are relieved. And this has become a habit, and the possibility of being dug away will be greatly reduced. Article 8: If you love him, you must trust him. After all, it is a strange place, and it is impossible to see his words and deeds every day. The suspicion of ignorance will ruin the sweetness of two people. Article 9: First of all, consider a bottom line to prevent yourself from being caught off guard by sudden changes. Things must always be done in a good direction, but we must be prepared for the bad. Article 10: Long-distance relationships are most afraid of anger and misunderstanding. If they are angry and misunderstood for a long time, those who steal the wall will take advantage of it and make everything clear, and they will be rational once their sensibility is over. Of course, if no one really wants to bow their heads, please don't give priority to girls at this time, and take the initiative where you should.