The script of Guo Donglin's 214 Spring Festival Evening sketch "Relatives" is urgently needed!

Scene: The eldest brother and the third son went to town to sell vegetables and drive an electric tricycle during the Spring Festival, and accidentally scratched their cars = =

The third son: It's broken! It's really scraped! Run ~! (looking around at people)

Boss (coming) (righteous words): Stop! Where to run? Where to run? Scrape the car and want to run?

Lao San: No ~ I shaved it!

boss: I didn't even run away from shaving.

boss: it's over, (have a look) is it serious?

third: what do you think?

boss: whose responsibility is it?

Lao San: What do you say? (pause) I'm a three-jumper, and you're a three-jumper. You're counting money while driving, and you don't even know that you scraped someone else's car. Who are you to blame? (integrity, righteousness and words. )

Lao San: Hurry up ~ (look around) and run while no one is looking ~

Boss: Don't run! Don't move (Looking around) There are cameras = = All cameras, I'm telling you, I'm so recognizable (bald = =). We both run now, it's all over!

Lao San: Oh, what exactly do you mean?

boss: shouldn't we just wait here and lose money?

Lao San: (scared to cry) Let's have a three-hop into town to sell vegetables! How much do you sell for a day?

? (rhetorical question, strong! ) What is this? A limousine! (pointing to the car) such a car owner, he can't be wrong! (Severe stuttering-)

Boss: (Looking at each other with disdain) Quxiang Xiang Tiange

Third: white hair ~ floating green water. What a mess! (hurry, walk left and right) Don't kill us! ?

scene: the car owner and his wife appear

car owner: the new year is a new atmosphere, the newly bought clothes are new and fashionable, and I get up in the morning to go shopping, and my daughter-in-law is gorgeous! Is my daughter-in-law bright? Cool ~ (audience)

Owner: Let's go, get in the car (see the car) Oh, my God! (kneeling down, stupid)

Wife: What are you doing? Husband? Didn't I knock myself over when I came out this morning?

owner: who kowtowed to you? (Stand up) Wife, take a good look! Our car was scratched!

wife (yelling! ): damn it ~ ~! Who is so wicked? Scrape our car?

owner: this guy, he really ate Xiong Xin leopard's guts, and didn't ask who I was? (shakes his thumb) Hey? Scratch my car? Huh? I'll kill you and me!

eldest brother and third child (squatting aside = =)

third child: eldest brother! It's broken! He's going to kill you ~

Boss (calm down): He won't kill me for a while. (Squeezing his eyes angrily) Don't worry, let's see what he says.

wife: hey! ? Husband? (Owner: Huh? ) That's it! Isn't there someone in your path? (pointing to the owner, the owner is angry with his clothes, and his eyes are crowded with anger)

Lao San (scared silly): Big Brother, it's broken = = There are people in their way!

Boss (calm down): Mom on the street has people every day (keep your eyes open). Listen to her!

wife: husband! (The owner should) call your brother on the road and ask who scraped our car.

owner: it's no use calling! Wife, you are not ignorant. We don't even have a camera in this neighborhood!

Lao San (what a surprise! ): big brother ~ ~! This is an important message! (shaking hands) No camera! Run! (turn around and go! )

Boss (grabs it): Don't run with or without a camera, we'll wait! (Hold down) I'm here!

owner: hey! Who is this? What is this? Huh? Dare to break ground on the lion's den! It's really daring.

eldest brother and third child get up, and third child is scared to death, half blocking and half trying to run.

owner: come out! Who! (loudly)

Boss: Me! (Loudly, justice strikes)

Owner: Me?

when the third child heard that he was stupid, he pretended not to know and walked back.

The owner sees the third child: What do you do, my friend?

Lao San: I ~ am passing by. (Laughing)

Owner: Aye! That's great. (a hug arm) I said, look, my car has been hung up. You give me a certificate.

old three: (roll your eyes and pretend to be blind, touch the owner): see ~ can't see.

Boss (Anger Stop): Stop pretending! He is my three brothers, and I am the boss.

owner: big brother?

Boss: We scraped the car!

wife (pointing): did you two scrape the car? You two are working together? (Boss: Yes) OK! Just don't run! Ah! I tell you, our car. . . (Boss interrupts)

Boss (slightly rogue): Hey! Don't make so much noise. We scraped it and lost money! (pointing to the owner and his wife, loudly, misunderstand) Right? Make an offer.

Wife: Lose money! Husband! How much is it! Make an offer!

car owner (coming forward): we have to discuss it (the boss nods) and pull our wife aside. Wife! (Wife: What else is there to discuss? (Disdainful, unhappy)) Do you think it's that simple? Look at that man (husband and wife watch it together) (the boss and the third are calm, the boss coughs) that big bald head! (Wife: Cough that? ) a face of lost face. I think they are like (whispering, scared, sweating)

wives (disdaining rhetorical questions): husbands! Isn't there someone on your way? (staring at the owner)

Owner: Yes! There are people in my path. (Wife: Ow ~) I mean on the road ~ on the road ~ on the road!

isn't it over the years? My people are all on their way home (wife (angry and helpless): on such a road? )

Boss (interrupting): Hey! Have you discussed it? We're still on our way back, so it's not easy for us on the road. It's hard to walk, and it's too difficult to walk. The road ~ Ow ~ (speak slowly)

The couple are stupid = =

Owner: How many roads did you hear from the big bald head? (Wife: three or four (scared-)) He is just reminding us! I'm telling you, there are rules on the road. As long as they ask for a price, if you don't give it, you will move the knife at once. (pouting directly makes me cry = =)

Third (turning meanness into justice): Big Brother, I'll throw caution to the wind for you! (Big Brother: Huh? ) hey (roar loud! ) (The two couples were talking about it, but they didn't hear it)

Boss (kneeling in fear): I was wrong.

Lao San: Big Brother, I'm not aiming at you! Boss: What the hell are you! ) hey (roar loud! ) Don't discuss looking for this or that. It's useless! Just say how much money you give ~ it's over. (loudly all the time)

Owner (scared): Did you see it? (wife: eh ~? ) His little brother just shrugged like this (for example, he shrank up), and now he is all erect (he is straight).

wife (scared to death, helpless): I saw it. (Calm down) Don't worry, husband, don't worry. I'll go! (Owner: Ow) I'll go! (Owner: Ow) That ~ two! What do you two do?

boss: we are selling. . .

Third (loudly stop): Eh ~! We buy and sell! (Pronunciation standard)

Wife (turns her head in surprise): Buy a good man! Buyers and sellers!

owner (spits): What a nice guy! Didn't listen to him, buy people! Sell people! Buyers and sellers! Can this trafficker be a good person? (They are helpless)

Wife (calmly): Hold on, I'll do it! (Owner: Ask him. )

the boss and the third are discussing (boss: what are you doing? )

Wife (to the third child): Boss!

Boss (regardless of the third child): He is the third child and I am the boss. (I don't know, the third child looks around at the boss and his wife)

Wife (arms clasped, scared, looking at the owner): Boss ~ That's right. You see, although our family drives a good car (owner: Yes. ) But our family doesn't have much money. (Owner: Yes. )

Boss: What does it matter to me how much money your family has? Lose money!

Lao San: Don't say it's useless! Why don't you just say how much it costs? (Boss: Yes. )

Wife (Kuqiang, posture unchanged): Very tough attitude.

owner: I'll tell you what, wife. Let's break the bank and avoid disaster. Let's give him one hundred dollars. (ok! ) ok? (good! (Substitution, both coughed) Those two. Ow ~ Do you think this number will do? (Finger 1)

Third (holding the boss's arm and shouting): What! Eleven thousand? (The two couples get to know each other in a muffled voice, stupid) What the hell! ? Is it easy for us to enter the city during the Spring Festival? Where are you, bear?

car owner (sobbing): Then you give the number = =

the third child (watching the boss gesticulate until his finger reaches 5, the third child gritted his teeth very much, and the boss acquiesced, during which the car owner was scared once for each gesture): That's all, love ~ whatever.

Wife (almost crying): Husband ~ They want 5, yuan! (finished, five thousand! (I'm about to cry) (I broke out directly and went to the boss) I tell you! Aren't you going a little too far? Ah!

boss: did we scrape your car badly? (Owner (yelling): Not heavy! It's not heavy at all ) Right? (Nothing. Ow ~ (waving)) owner: I know, you are a warning to us. Ow, I accept this number. As long as you don't touch my car again. All right. (Boss: OK. Old three: Don't worry, we'll walk around in the future. )

boss: let's go to the Xisanqi. (old three nods)

Owner (wondering): Xisanqi? Why does this place name sound so familiar to me? (Wife: My father and mother's house. ) Where does my mom and dad live? (Wife: Wukesong) (Third: It seems ok to take Wukesong! Boss: Go to Wukesong when you go back. )

Car owner (frightened, shaking his fingers and pointing at his wife): Oh, my God! Wife, what did I say? It's not that simple. Look at that! (The wife can't hold back her panic)

The wife (throwing caution to the wind, pointing to the two, loudly! ): I'm telling you two! Ow! That's it, two thousand!

(boss: two thousand! ? (People go out with half bows)) Come on! No, I'll call the police!

Lao San (looking at the boss and pointing to his wife): Call the police ~! ? Brother, let her hug you! The police came just in time to preside over justice

Boss: I didn't intend to trouble the police buddy, since you are like this, let's hug! Let's hug! Hold

the police! You said traffic police or traffic police! (old three: big brother, it's heavy! ) Burst twice! (old three: two or two? )

Wife (scared to cry): Husband, the police are also their buddies.

owner (really helpless): big brother! Ok ~! I admit it, five thousand!

the eldest brother and the third son said at the same time: five thousand! ?

Lao San: Huh?

Boss (decisive, pointing to the third): Call the police!

Lao San: hugs must be reported! (The couple are at a loss to watch the play and take out their mobile phones) Big Brother! How many more 911 calls! (12) (no doubt, seriously call, digital machine)

wife (doubt? ): Honey, how about calling the emergency center like this? (yeah? He has offered five thousand dollars. If we don't give it to them, they will have to use the knife. Don't they have to give first aid? ) (scared to faint, people are soft, holding their husbands)

Old three: 1 ~ 2 ~. . .

owner (interrupting): stop fighting! 5, is not a small sum, but 5, really doesn't exist.

Boss (stupid): 5,? ! (Two brothers look at each other)

Wife (bowing): Two big brothers. I beg you two, will you stop hurting us?

boss (unintelligible): harm you?

Lao San (got it): Big Brother seems to have approved it completely. She thinks we're bad guys.

owner (answering): who dares to say that you two are bad people? (mmm ~) Good guy! (hmm ~)

wife, let's go home and get the money. (Good) Let the bald head help the brothers spend the next year.

Boss: Who helped the skinheads?

Third (taking off his hat): You have hair.

Boss: It's useless if you have hair. I'm telling you, we're in town to deliver vegetables. Hang up your car here, right? (Owner: Yes. ) We are waiting to lose money! (Owner (hands reaching out to two brothers: We lost it. (Boss shakes his head) We are with you! (Hands reaching out to the couple)

The couple opened their eyes wide and were completely stupid.

owner: with us?

wife: do you deserve us? I don't believe it! You scraped the car and no one saw it. You didn't want to take the money and run away.

Lao San: My eldest brother won't let me go, saying that he has a picture.

boss: yes! What camera? I'm not running with or without a camera. We are waiting here to lose money. So that you can go home for the Spring Festival ~

Owner: Oh, (touching your stomach) so you are really waiting to give us money.

Lao San: Ah! Yes, it is. You didn't show a finger just now. I thought you asked us for 1. Let's talk about giving it to 5 here. You got another 25 thousand. It's approved.

wife: oh, I told you! I told you to put. I told you he was a good man. Oops, oops (owner: I just, I just watched too many movies about cops and robbers)

Boss: You should watch the legal system going on. That bad guy got up long ago. This is the money you earn by selling vegetables, and you all take it. (Wife (shoving): No, no) That's more or less it, ok? (husband ~! )

owner: big bald head! What are you talking about? Is it easy for you farmers to sell vegetables in the city and do some business? New Year's Eve, come on, let's treat it as a New Year greeting for our brothers from the city! Press the money and give it back. )

Lao San: Oh dear ~

Boss: Eldest brother, I have to ask you one more thing. After the spring, we want to work in Beijing. Introduce me to a job.

owner: then you want to see me, there are people on my road!

Wife: Hey ~ ~

The rest: Here we go again ~