Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along. Can you do it?

It is said that every family has its own problems, among which the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most difficult. When it comes to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, many people will think of several words: tangled, complicated, difficult to engage in, and natural enemy. Two women will have an argument for a man they love deeply. But in real life, there are some examples of how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law harmoniously and beautifully. Psychologist Zhang Yijun said that the harmony between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be summarized as three "hearts" and two "meanings". Three "hearts" are happiness, care and empathy; The second "meaning" is goodwill and morality. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live in harmony, and tolerance is the foundation. Sun Li, 49, has lived with her mother-in-law for 25 years. In an interview with reporters, Sun Li said that her husband's family is from Fujian, and the phenomenon of son preference is serious. His in-laws love her husband, the only male in the family, and her daughter-in-law. The behavior of in-laws often causes "protests" from her sister-in-law. My husband is very busy at work and has limited time at home, let alone taking care of his parents. Usually, she does all these things for him My in-laws are old, especially my mother-in-law, who has heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes. Her physical condition is very unstable and she often goes to the hospital. At this time, she always runs faster than her sister-in-law, taking her mother-in-law to see a doctor and delivering food and water. Usually she is frugal to herself, but generous to her mother-in-law. Last year, my mother-in-law was hospitalized due to illness and waited with the nursing staff for almost ten days. My mother-in-law can't get used to hospital meals. She cooks several fresh vegetables and sends them to the ward every day. Although it was not a high-end dish, her mother-in-law enjoyed it very much. Over the years, on holidays, she will carefully prepare gifts for her mother-in-law, and her mother-in-law will be filled with joy every time she receives a gift, which makes her daughter-in-law very satisfied. Sun Li said that she is from Ningbo and used to cooking Ningbo cuisine. For more than 20 years, my mother-in-law has changed her taste because she often eats her food. At first, my mother-in-law didn't like it, but as long as it was her cooking, even if she didn't like it, her mother-in-law never said a word and often encouraged praise, which made her feel that her mother-in-law was a reasonable old man. After her son was born, her mother-in-law took care of her grandson. My mother-in-law used to be a kindergarten teacher and had a lot of experience in raising children. She was relieved to give the child to her mother-in-law. But after all, it is two generations, and differences and generation gaps are inevitable. Mother-in-law dotes on education because she likes her grandson too much. She is worried that in the long run, she will develop many bad habits of her children, which will be difficult to change when she grows up, but she knows that her mother-in-law doesn't mean to spoil her son, but it is a bit inappropriate to express her love for the third generation. To this end, when her son is too headstrong and annoys her mother-in-law, she talks to her mother-in-law in time. First of all, I thank my mother-in-law for taking care of her children so hard and praise her children for being healthy and lovely, but at the same time, I also lose no time to point out the bad consequences of her mother-in-law doting on her children with facts. After all, the mother-in-law also wants her grandson to be good, and she is even more unwilling to worry about a good daughter-in-law. She also gradually converged her previous pampering, and more often cultivated her children's self-discipline according to the methods she said. Her mother-in-law's change made her feel gratified and grateful. Sun Li said: "It is said that it is difficult for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along with each other, because two strangers love the same man, so it is uncomfortable to become intimate. But when you show sincerity and tolerance, I believe it is not difficult to establish a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Understand more. It is not difficult for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along with Sun Li. Juan Lin is 58 years old and a young mother-in-law. Juan Lin told reporters: To be honest, suddenly accepting a strange girl as a member of her family and occupying a very important position is really a bit uncomfortable for her as a mother-in-law. However, the girl's understanding and cleverness quickly adjusted her mentality. Juan Lin said that these girls are from Chengdu, and their diet is hardly spicy, but their families are all Shanghainese, and their food is light, and they like seafood and other foods. As a cook, she was really confused by the smell of this kannika nimtragol at first. In order to let the daughter-in-law eat well and let her husband and son have an adaptation process, she will put less spicy food when cooking. Fortunately, my husband and son have a strong ability to accept spicy food, and they quickly adapted to the delicious and strong taste of spicy food. At the same time, the daughter-in-law will ask her mother-in-law to teach her to cook Shanghai food every once in a while, so that her mother-in-law who doesn't eat spicy food has a buffer in taste. The daughter-in-law's intentions made her feel gratified. Daughter-in-law is an employee of a foreign company, and her working hours are unstable, so overtime is common. Nowadays, young people are under great pressure and fierce competition. It takes a lot of time to make some achievements and get a high salary. Looking at the children's hard work, she can only try to be their "orderly". You not only cooked delicious dinner and nutritious breakfast, but also prepared low-calorie snacks for your daughter-in-law who often works overtime. Although sometimes it's just a bowl of clear soup, her heart won her daughter-in-law's sincerity and filial piety. Juan Lin said that she is very particular about clothes, and her daughter-in-law often takes time to accompany her mother-in-law to buy some fashionable clothes. Under the careful guidance and matching of her daughter-in-law, she is becoming more and more fashionable now. When a daughter-in-law goes on a business trip, she always brings some local specialties, food and even clothes. Daughter-in-law's hands are very clever. What touched her most was her birthday two years ago. Daughter-in-law DIY gave her a beautiful and distinctive necklace as a gift. At that moment, she felt the goodwill from her daughter, and the happiness at that moment was deeply imprinted in her mind. My father died when my daughter-in-law was very young, and my mother never got married, so it was not easy to bring her up. Juan Lin said that she tried several times to persuade her daughter-in-law to bring her mother to live with her in Shanghai, but all failed because her mother didn't want to leave her hometown. Every New Year, she will offer to let her son and daughter-in-law go home for the New Year. The daughter-in-law is very grateful to her mother-in-law for her understanding. Every time she goes back to Shanghai, she always packs her bags, and all kinds of local products are enough for her to eat for half a year. In fact, as long as the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law treat each other sincerely, treat each other as relatives, and understand and forgive more, they will be very happy to get along. Netizens summed up the five major problems of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and mentioned the topic of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Netizens talk about experience and pour bitter water. In fact, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have good intentions and want to get along well, but they often backfire. The reason lies in the following five unresolved problems. 1, the mother-in-law complained that her son had a daughter-in-law and forgot that her mother was in her mother-in-law's heart, and she gave her son's life. Everything about him was brought up by her alone for so many years, and her daughter-in-law made no contribution. So the mother-in-law doesn't understand why, after her son got married, she taught him for many years, and she had to worry about food, clothing, housing and transportation. Listening to her words, decades of hard work went up in smoke because of her. She, the so-called "my home", is bullying at home, grabbing classes and seizing power. How does a mother-in-law balance her heart? Daughter-in-law thinks that her mother-in-law regards herself as the daughter-in-law of an outsider. Her mother-in-law is just my husband's mother. Before I got married, she meant nothing to my life. So my daughter-in-law doesn't understand why once I get married, the number of years I have lived for more than 20 years must be zero, and then I become the so-called "husband's family". My mother-in-law is such a realistic person. She is the daughter-in-law of her daughter-in-law, and she can never be one of her own. 3, the values of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are completely different. If the daughter-in-law meets her mother-in-law who knows how to live, it is really lucky! But if you meet a conservative and frugal mother-in-law, it should give your daughter-in-law a headache, right? Now the daughter-in-law lives freely and pays attention to the quality of life, but the mother-in-law may not think so, so the dispute will inevitably start, only a matter of time. 4. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have different parenting styles. Educating children is the task of parents, but due to the current national conditions in China, taking care of children has become the work of the older generation. Due to the differences in growth background, ideas and cultural knowledge, some unpleasantness will inevitably occur between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In the event of educating the next generation, the conflict of ideas will be more intense. Mother-in-law loves her grandson very much and always wants to bring up her children in her own way, while daughter-in-law wants to bring up children in 2 1 century by herself, combining Chinese and western, keeping up with the trend of the times. Therefore, there are many differences between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in parenting, and PK wars must happen from time to time. 5. Mother-in-law interferes with daughter-in-law's life. The husband grew up under the meticulous care of his mother. Even if she is married, her mother-in-law will still treat her husband as a child, often making her daughter-in-law laugh and cry. They enter their daughter-in-law's room at will, change the room decoration at will, and let life fall into chaos. However, my mother-in-law still uses "for your own good" as an excuse. Under such circumstances, how can contradictions not happen? In a small family, the young daughter-in-law certainly wants to play the role of hostess, so once the mother-in-law forcibly enters the small family life and tries to override the family with her own values and manage and influence the life of her son's daughter-in-law with her own will, it will inevitably bring harm and pain. How to live in harmony with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and be an "angel" instead of a "genius"? Zhang Yijun, a psychologist, believes that young people today are a highly cared-for generation. Their desire for happiness is stronger than that of the previous generation, but they are very different from their mother-in-law in self-control and anti-frustration ability. Therefore, it is necessary to establish a new mode of getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The so-called "new model of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law" means that when my mother-in-law sees something wrong with my daughter-in-law, she turns her face away and pays selective attention. Don't look at what you don't like, look at what I think is good. My mother-in-law wants to reposition her role and is happy to see the formation of a "new nuclear family"; Be a consultant, not a leader; Care like a mother and ask like a stepmother. These are all important skills for two people to get along. Because the times are different, the concepts and lifestyles of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are also different. Nowadays, young people are more independent, so they tend to ignore politeness when they speak. However, their momentum and strength are increasingly recognized in the workplace competition, which may be the need of a generation's development. Their characteristics are not without merit, and many places are still worth appreciating. Can you get along with your mother-in-law? First of all, try not to choose to live with your in-laws. If the number of meetings is reduced, many contradictions and problems can be effectively avoided, and the contradictions between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can naturally be reduced. Unmarried girls should live with their in-laws. If you are not psychologically prepared to live with your in-laws, then choose to avoid it. The second point: respect the living habits of in-laws. There will inevitably be a generation gap between the two generations, and there will also be some contradictions together. At this time, try not to interfere. Of course, living at home will also have trivial things, such as who works more, whether he takes good care of his children, whether he hurts them, whether he will live, and so on. Because my mother-in-law is old, it is inevitable that her mouth will be broken and she will nag when she sees something. In fact, most people still say that they are still working. At this time, if the daughter-in-law sees that her mother-in-law is wrong, she'd better tell her husband and let him talk to her mother-in-law. Although the mother and son may disagree and have a big fight, they are still very close and there is no gap. The third point: we should often chat with our mother-in-law to enhance their feelings. Of course, we should also grasp the scale of chatting and speak moderately, so as to make the family harmonious. Chatting can increase people's feelings, chat with mother-in-law and promote the feelings between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. When people get along with each other for a long time, they will have feelings. If we encounter problems when we get along with our mother-in-law, we can gently tell her your difficulties. I believe your mother-in-law is not heartless and will understand you. Therefore, we might as well use this little trick to tell the truth, which may have unexpected effects. Fourth: Learning to coquetry in front of mother-in-law can enhance the affection between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Older people usually like the younger generation to be close to themselves. If you dare to coquetry in front of your mother-in-law, it means that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is good in itself, which will increase your relationship with your mother-in-law. But the mother-in-law is not a mother after all. She can be a little angry in front of her mother and must be gentle with her mother-in-law. Don't be too willful to lose your temper with your mother-in-law, or you will be self-defeating. Fifth point: praising in-laws and husbands behind their backs may make people feel hypocritical. Some people are thin-skinned, but it will make two people feel embarrassed and embarrassed. But bragging behind your back is quite different. Mother-in-law and husband will feel a sense of accomplishment and be happy when they hear their daughter-in-law or wife praise themselves from others, and they will be better and better to their daughter-in-law or wife. Doing so will also warm up the relationship between our mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and promote the development of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Have you learned all these little methods about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? If you can do this, I believe your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are also very happy.