Can parents get twice the result with half the effort when educating their children by using the "increase or decrease effect"?

Both Xu Lin and her husband can be called successful people in their careers. Regarding their careers, they have never slacked off since they got married, in order to give their children a better material life in the future.

After many years of marriage, when the two finally felt that the conditions were okay, the baby was born successfully, but their career had developed to this point and they could not leave it to others, so Xu Lin hurriedly returned to work after her maternity leave.

The children raised by the elderly and nannies are naturally not very close to Xu Lin and her husband. In addition, the couple feels that they have less time to spend with their children and feel ashamed of their children, so they often use money and toys to make up for the children.

The child wanted to learn the piano, so Xu Lin bought the piano at a high price. However, after three minutes of enthusiasm, the child could no longer be interested, so Xu Lin started using a series of toys that her son liked. Be the temptation.

At the beginning, his son did practice piano again with great enthusiasm. However, as time went by, even though Xu Lin continued to increase the reward chips, his son's interest in piano decreased day by day.

After consulting a professional psychiatrist, Xu Lin changed her strategy and pretended to sell the piano. She also asserted that her son must not be able to learn well. When the son heard this, he felt unconvinced and began to practice piano seriously. .

After receiving moderate rewards bit by bit in the future, her son has now obtained a level 8 piano certificate, and her husband also praised Xu Lin for her good education. The principle of the increase and decrease effect

In fact, in the above, the advice given by the psychologist refers to the "increase and decrease effect", which is a kind of reaction and response to the stimulation of the external environment to the individual. attitude.

However, the individual's acceptance of this kind of environmental stimulation is within a certain range. That is to say, beyond this range, the effect of stimulation is limited.

In short, parents should pay attention to criticism and rewards in their children's education. They should neither blindly reward too much nor be too harsh and blindly attack and deny their children.

As the saying goes, if everything is done without a good grasp of the proportion, it will be counterproductive. The same is true for children's education, so parents must grasp this degree and apply the "increase or decrease effect" to it. Get twice the result with half the effort. What negative effects will excessive criticism or rewards from parents have on children?

1. Excessive criticism will damage children's self-confidence

Humility makes people progress. Many parents believe that criticism can make children more aware of their own shortcomings and make corrections. This is the process of perfecting yourself.

However, criticism also pays attention to the method and degree. If parents are used to criticizing their children no matter what, this will invisibly damage the children's self-confidence, causing the children to begin to deny and doubt themselves, and even become inferior and negative. .

Parents are the most trustworthy people for children, so what parents say and evaluate are also very important to children. Under long-term criticism, the parent-child relationship between children and parents will also be affected. Influence.

2. Too many rewards can easily make children lose their way

Not to mention children, even adults like to hear good things and hear others’ rewards and affirmations for themselves. It is also a positive education for a person.

The same is true when parents praise their children, which is more conducive to their growth. However, if they are over-praised, it will destroy the child and gradually make the child prone to pride, bloat, and even disorientation.

If children always receive praise, they will lose motivation and interest in moving forward, and it will not be conducive to exploring and seeking knowledge in learning. In the process of educating children, how should parents make proper use of the "increase and decrease effect"?

1. Appropriate rewards

It is undoubtedly very beneficial for children to be rewarded as they grow, and is the best way to motivate children to grow.

But parents must understand the appropriate reward mechanism, that is, principled and moderate rewards, rather than blind excessive rewards.

For example, children do not need to buy toys every time they get good grades in an exam, nor do they need to be rewarded every time they do a good deed. This will make children feel that no matter what they do, they have a purpose. Rather than a genuine interest.

2. Criticize before encouraging

Children have limited cognitive abilities and sometimes have wrong ways of handling many things, and mistakes are inevitable.

Some parents will rush to criticize their children when they see them making mistakes. In fact, this is inappropriate. Parents should help their children recognize their mistakes in a timely manner and make corrections.

But at the same time, don’t forget to encourage your children more, let them understand that it is not terrible even if they make mistakes, and help them build self-confidence and believe that they will do better in the future.

3. Help children set reasonable goals

It is very important to have a clear goal in life. It not only provides direction and motivation to move forward, but also allows one to maintain A passion.

Parents should be reasonable when helping their children set goals and not be too ambitious. Otherwise, it will easily make their children retreat and feel frustrated.

Parents can teach their children to learn to break down a big goal into multiple small goals and complete them in stages, so that the children can have a greater sense of accomplishment. Only when parents pay attention to methods and techniques in educating their children can they help their children grow in a healthier direction.