The funniest and most sarcastic personality quote in history

1. The highest level of copying answers. After copying for a long time, I went off topic

2. I don’t have any shortcomings, but I am a bit ugly

3. Know how to pretend to be confused and continue to be friends, as long as you understand

4. When your hair grows to your waist, you will definitely have a lot of static electricity, so why not open a power plant for you

5 , Auntie lend me your daughter, and I will return you two beautiful girls next year

6. I heard that the quilt is a branch of heaven on earth, no wonder I sleep in when I have nothing to do

7. It’s better for a girl to be a man, and there will be many good buddies who are like brothers

8. I like night, because no one can see the tears in my eyes at night

9. With your Don’t count the stars for your IQ, just count the moon

10. People who care about me when they see me sad are the ones I love

11. If you turn around and leave after a breakup, I will call 120 for you immediately and take you to the hospital

12. Good friends should share blessings. Look at me, I am so poor. Can you please help me?

13. Man You don’t have to be handsome or romantic, but you must love your wife

14. Never be a person who can’t stand up after a fall. Are you a soft persimmon

15. Every time Every woman is looking for a boyfriend who is like a man, but in the end she realizes that she is the most manly

16. When I go home during the holidays, my classmates always ask me to send him some congratulations, and I just send him a text message. : Burn me some clothes and money

17. I really want to point to my heart and proudly say to you: There has been a change of people here

18. Sister is state-owned property and is by no means cheap. Sell

19. I think I have a super power and can successfully avoid all the correct answers

20. It is easier to like someone than to fall in love with someone, and to fall in love with someone is easier than forgetting someone. People are easy

21. When I grew up, I learned to be heartless and emotionless

22. The old world was just a whim

23. Flowers bloom for a season just waiting for your return. Although the flowering period is short, my heart has not changed

24. We are all sad people, why hurt others so badly

25. He It’s my dream, how can everyone understand it

26. I admit that I am timid and don’t let anyone know that I have liked you

27. Don’t be so self-righteous, no Everyone will pay for you unconditionally

28. Whenever I talk to you, I always feel uneasy in my heart

29. You don’t understand me, what I want is dignity. , but you only want money

30. The difference between having money and having no money is that the poor use donkeys to grind, and the rich use ghosts to grind.

31. Although brother I am not happy about time traveling, but I am interested in crossing the line of fire

32. TMD little devil, you dare to bully even your ancestors, I think your life is doomed

33. If you use your IQ to criticize others, I think you can only be regarded as a retard

34. How powerful do you think you are when fighting against the power of others, but weren’t you surrendered by Jigong in the end?

35. I’ve met a lot of people and made a lot of enemies. If you can’t stand it, just come here

36. If a top student doesn’t show off his power, you think I’m a scumbag

37 , If you have the ability, don’t let me know the dirty things you do behind your back

38. If you insist on forcing me to go to Liangshan, how can I not be a hero?

39. You My happiness is in my hands, no one can take it away, unless I don’t want it anymore

40. Don’t make fun of others’ lives, I’m afraid you won’t be able to afford it in the end

41. Is English great? What a shame, can you please speak Chinese?

p> 42. If you don’t have friends, don’t hang around in this world anymore, because you are not worthy of being a human being

43. Only by living like a hero can you truly win the beauty, and you need to cultivate a heroic heart for a long time

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44. Only a bright future is suitable for a high-class person like you to live in

45. Even if you can know what I am thinking, it does not mean that you truly understand me

46. Riding a bicycle and hitting a big tree, the posture is still very cool

47. My biggest specialty is: I talk nonsense, how can I talk to you if I don’t let you

48 , please keep my love and get out of my world without stopping

49. If you are a scumbag, you will never be a top student; if you are a weakling, you will never become a strong one

50 , If I had known that your sister's heart had changed, why would you still talk about **** love in the end? Funny sentences, the funniest quotes in history

1. In order to prevent me from spending money randomly on Double Eleven, I decided to choose one of my friends to save the money for me. You can send me Alipay. I will announce which friend is so shameless tomorrow night. 2． I did something wrong and my girlfriend scolded me, and we ignored each other until she farted, and I farted right after, and she said: Oh, you still dare to talk back? The tough atmosphere was finally broken. . . 3． It’s the season again where you rely on perseverance to take a shower, endurance to do laundry, and explosive power to get out of bed. 4． Compared to a vigorous love, I prefer sleeping until noon every day. You picked me up and said to me: I made fish-flavored shredded pork, kung pao chicken, braised pork ribs, tomato scrambled eggs, spicy soup, lamb skewers, almond tea, and rock sugar pears. Stir-fried beans, tiger skin, chili, beef, vermicelli, spicy hot egg-filled pancakes, steamed buns with fruit and meat, Xi'an mutton steamed buns, Korean cold noodles and fried chicken legs, get up to eat. 5. In the elevator, a man and a woman were arguing. It seemed that the woman wanted to buy a bag. The man thought it was too expensive, so the woman wouldn’t buy it for me. I’m telling you, there are so many people who want to buy me a bag! The man said angrily: Don’t you have an idea of ??what you look like? ! The woman was anxious: What do I look like and what’s wrong with me? The man pointed at me and said to the woman that you look uglier than her after taking off your makeup. Hold the grass, how have I offended you? 6. After get off work today, I saw an old man dragging a rope into the elevator. I was wondering. . . The uncle suddenly turned his head and shouted, "Oh my God, where is my dog?" I burst out laughing, old man, I dare you to walk the rope for a long time! 7． There was a new shoe store downstairs of the company, and there was a discount for the opening. I tried on my right foot and bought a pair of leather shoes. When I got home, I discovered that both shoes were for the right foot! So I went back to the store to find the boss. The boss quickly apologized and said that it was his first time opening a store and he had no experience. He also brought me another pair of leather shoes of the same style from the warehouse. After returning home, I found this pair of leather shoes, both for the left foot. 8. In the morning, the child was naughty and was beaten by his father. At noon, his dad: Oh, son, are you still angry? It was your mother who asked me to beat you. Me: That’s what I said, you really hit me. . Son: Humph, they are not good things! Both of us. . . 9. Once when I was on a business trip, I suddenly felt anxious, so I went to the bathroom. After finishing my work, I found that I had forgotten to bring paper, so I knocked on the neighbor on the left and asked, "Brother, do you have any paper?" The neighbor on the left replied: I will go, I also forgot to bring the paper. Then he knocked on the neighbor on the right and asked: Brother, do you have any paper? After a few seconds, I heard a girl reply: Sorry, brother, I went to the wrong toilet. 10. It was raining heavily and it was difficult to get a taxi. After walking for a while, I saw a beautiful woman waving. The driver stopped the car and the beauty asked for a carpool. My heart is pounding, oh yeah! The driver looked back at me and I nodded wildly. The driver said: Get off the car, there is no charge for the part just now. 11. My youngest daughter said that there was a little boy in the kindergarten who bullied her every day and she was very angry.

Wife: Have you figured out any way to deal with him? The younger daughter gritted her teeth and said: I decided to marry him when I grow up. I won’t give him pocket money. When I’m unhappy, I go shopping to buy clothes. When I’m angry, I make him kneel on the washboard. I’ll deal with him the way you dealt with my father! Wife: Talk about the most mean and stupid funny personality in history

1. Are you that jealous of a thousand-year-old jealous person?

2. Who wants to accompany you on a lonely night? I count the stars, and those with low IQs can count the moons with me

3. You get jealous when you see others making money, but you don’t have the ability, so you have to change your direction and close your eyes.

4. You use invisibility to avoid me, then I will use invisibility online to help you.

5. He doesn’t love me, he doesn’t take it seriously when he speaks, and he is too attentive when he is silent

6. Brother Xinchun has eternal life, but Brother Chun also needs to rest

7. There are too many bacteria in the outside world, and I am afraid that I will be contaminated as soon as I go out

8 , there will be light in your world, that’s because the sun in my memory protects you

9. In the next life, I will be the tooth in your mouth, because if I hurt you will also feel pain

10. That person dares to say that he is pure, but your eyes are secretly cloudy

11. The briefs that Superman wears are stable, so he can fly so high

12. My dream is to have random thoughts in my dreams

13. Donor, if you are bullying the poor monk, then the poor monk will not give God face

14. Myopia From a distance, you look like a big beauty, but at first glance, you turn out to be a loser

15. Don’t force me, otherwise I will become great and out of control

16. Don’t think you are If you look like a wolf, I can think of you as a gray wolf

17. When the sky falls, you hold it first while I find a stick

18. When a man and a woman quarrel, Men are like pistols, women are like machine guns

19. Do you know what it feels like for a wolf to fall in love with a sheep? It's just that I want to eat its meat

20. You can't wake up in the spring, yawn and come looking for you. You can't sleep at night and can't wake up during the day.

21. In fact, you have one advantage. , ghosts don’t dare to run to your house at night

22. I’m in a bad mood now. I can’t do anything except eat.

23. If the exam can be upgraded, I’m afraid I’m still Negative level

24. When I put on the quilt every night, I feel like I am buried in my grave

25. Others think I am meditating, but in fact I am looking at whether a dime on the ground is appropriate or not. Pick it up

26. Life is short and must be sexy, tough life does not need to be understood

27. If Ultraman doesn’t fight little monsters, then let Transformers save the world

28. If one day you are old and homeless, then come to me to wash and cook

29. Life is like an old sow going down the stairs. If you fall, you can never get up again.

30. When we lost our handkerchiefs in those years, we were all praying not to lose them on ourselves

31. It will spread again tomorrow, just because we are afraid that one day we will not like you and give it to you. Go see God

32. Never let your face face me, because then I will vomit

33. You are a love poison that will poison anyone who eats it. Can you practice some practice? Antidote

34. Thank you for your smile, which once confused my life

35. You fool fell in love with a liar and was deceived by the liar all your life

36. If you don’t read, you are a pig. If you read, you will be an educated pig

37. When you find out, you will know that everything is over

38. What makes you happy That person has actually been making fun of you

39. He is an idiot, and in the end he turned into a rotten chicken after being left alone for a long time.

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40. Time has allowed me to see a real phenomenon, that is, you are a bad person

41. Don’t think that what you said is the truth. In fact, it is no different from farting.

42. After waiting for a long time, I have become numb. In the end, you don’t even know I love you.

43. What we breathe is not the air, but the air polluted by you.

44. A woman’s intuition is very accurate, especially when there is a mistress in her love.

45. There is a feeling that is more painful than falling out of love, and that is that it is your own fault

46. If you really can’t live with it, then you will die for me

47. I say words that I don’t love you, but I do things that do love you

48. Looking at last year’s yellowed calendar, recording our beautiful memories

49. We are strangers to each other now, and our emotions will not revive for you

50. When one day I get tired of myself, then I will start over. The most cheap and most dickish funny signatures in history 2019

The most cheap and most dickish funny signatures in history 20xx selection

1. I am a coward who pretends to smile, so don’t be afraid of me

2. You and I are just passers-by in each other’s lives, let’s just wipe it out and leave

3. Sometimes you need to free yourself, I'm afraid you will suffocate to death

4. I have you in my mouth, close your mouth, I'm afraid I will bite you to death

5 , I want to improve my life, I don’t want to eat noodles, I want to eat instant noodles

6. Our love, the doctor said: He has tried his best

7. While waiting for the bus, a The classmate said: Imperial Army, run quickly, the Eighth Route Army is coming

8. I am not a bone, so you don’t have to run after me like a dog

9. The teacher suddenly came before the self-study class Okay, classmates told each other, Nima, this is a student

10. Wearing a human skin mask and doing animal behavior, I think you are worse than an animal

11. Sing Listening to other people's songs and humming your own tune is called pseudo-original

12. You found a girlfriend and then got dumped, aren't you asking for trouble

13. Summer is the best, it can easily make me fall asleep

14. More handsome guys are more fun, more beauties are more exciting

15. When I was young, I liked to talk to Brother, who dares to wear a pair of pants now

16. The TV series has stopped my enjoyment of watching commercials, making me very bored now

17. No one can say who is the most popular Damn, it’s all about looking for a latch in a socket

18. Are you biological or adopted, ex-girlfriend or post-girlfriend?

19. Death is not scary, the scary thing is to be alive to see it Ghost

20. There must be a road before the car reaches the mountain, and I can’t stop even if there is a road

21. When you see a beautiful woman on the street, look higher to appreciate it, and look lower Just a gangster

22. The weather is cold, and even typing on the keyboard requires courage

23. In summer, there is no need to take a shower with water, just rinse it with sweat

24 , Every genius comes, and at the same time a fool is born

25. Hitting means kissing and scolding means loving, so I love this text message the most

26. I am ugly but I If I dare to walk on the street, who dares to stop me

27. Do you know what rock and roll is? If you love you, rock it, if you don’t love you, get out

28. If you don’t have sex with a man, it’s a treason; if you see a man, you have sex with him, to do justice for heaven

29. I didn’t see the reflection of your bald head The sunshine makes me feel very dazzling

30. The death of an emperor is called death, the death of a commoner is called death, and the death of you is called Oye

31

, When you go bungee jumping and the rope breaks, you will say, a guy said transformation

32. It is a tiring job to figure out people's mood

33. Steel is made in a hundred times. , I feel that you are going to become a diamond gourd baby again

34. I am here to apologize to you for the ignorant behavior I did to you in the past

35. All the past Touched, they were all murdered by you

36. If you don’t want to live, then die, if you can’t die, then live well

37. It doesn’t matter if you are misunderstood, I am ready to be a bad person I have the courage

38. Time is not waiting for me, you forgot to take me away

39. Although sister cannot beautify the soul, sister can vilify evil

40. I’m ugly and it’s your fault, and she’s beautiful and it’s my fault.

41. When the words sad and pitiful are used on you, I feel like they are tarnishing them

42. You deserve it. You deserve to come to this world and pollute the air

43. First love is infinitely good, but it just ends early

44. There are so many people like you. Living a day is a waste of oxygen in the air

45. Don’t challenge my endurance, be careful I make you cry rhythmically

46. Wait until you are no longer alive , I will burn more paper dolls for you

47. You are just a scenery I encounter in my life

48. Instead of pleasing others, it is better to arm yourself

49. When you grow up, you have to fight for the awesomeness you boasted about when you were a child

50. Before you leave, I will let you taste the feeling of being dumped