Today, I had dinner with my mother, and I accidentally found that my mother secretly observed my expression when I bowed my head to eat. Why? I am 20 years old today.

All your situations are self-directed. Your mother looks at you because you are always sad. She thinks you have a knot in your heart. She is worried. You can imagine that it is a misunderstanding that you don't like them. The biggest problem in your situation is autism. Why can't you talk about yourself from the heart because you don't have friends? In fact, you have reversed the cause and effect, because you don't treat others with your heart, so you won't make real friends. Although making friends with your heart may not make friends with everyone, it is impossible to make friends with people like you without your heart. What masks do you and your brothers and sisters wear? It's not that your family has alienated you, but that you have alienated your family.