Xiong Haizi wrote seven words in three hours: Parents who resist hitting their children are angels with broken wings.

"Just a few new words. I wrote for three hours this morning. I want to control myself, too I don't want to scold him or hit him ... "

This is the video that Ma Xiong saw in Tik Tok before. Listening to the mother crying and accusing her child, she felt very distressed, just like seeing her helplessness.

After all, children muddle along, and I have a deep understanding of Ma Xiong.

When I was sending my children to kindergarten, I met an old woman who sent her granddaughter, put her children in a big cart and said while walking: Who is your character like this?

After seeing the children off, I talked to my grandmother intentionally and asked her why she still used this stroller when her children were five years old. She said that I couldn't get up early, so I just washed my face and didn't brush my teeth, so I put it in the stroller.

Ma Xiong realized that children in the world are always muddling along, unable to get out of bed, unable to finish their meals, unable to finish their homework and unable to sleep. Children are always several times slower, which makes people crazy.

In the process of getting along with children, what I hear most is "wait a while" and "right away", or just ignore it.

Telling the truth, children are worthy of being masters of disrupting the pace of their parents' lives.

Speaking of children fooling around, one thing impressed me deeply.

I remember it was a snowy day when my child just went to kindergarten. I was prepared to go out early because I was worried about snow on the road.

Who knows, Xiong Haizi woke up, not only didn't get up neatly, but also whined and dawdled. I don't want to wear clothes, I think the black and blue school uniform pants are not good-looking, and I also say that I can't open my eyes.

Looking at his energy, I'm a little angry. Is there anything I won't say? Touching and crying, that moment, I want to explode in minutes.

At that time, I told him to hurry up in a threatening tone, or he would be beaten. He is still sitting on the bed.

I slapped his ass twice in despair, and he immediately began to cry loudly.

When he was crying, I dressed him, washed him casually and took him out. In fact, after hitting him, I began to regret it. I was really carried away by anger.

In the world of adults, every minute of getting up early is precious. Although you are late, you will be fined, and the boss will always turn back.

Children loaf around, are late for school and can't have breakfast. He is worried that he will be hungry and miss important knowledge points.

But we forget that telling children about efficiency is casting pearls before swine. In their world, only fun is not fun, whether you want to do it or not, and the rest are just clouds.

In addition to getting up early for school, it is even more heartbreaking to help children with their homework.

During the 11th Five-Year Plan period, the teacher assigned several papers. I thought I could finish these three papers in an hour. As a result, I found a paper and spent 1 hour, which made my mouth thirsty.

In the process of doing his homework, he went to get a pencil, an eraser and a blank sheet of paper. Anyway, he is looking for various reasons to escape from his desk. He can run for a while.

Although I held back at that time, my heart was full of Ma Benteng. I really feel that if I tutor him like this for a long time, I will be sent to the hospital before long. ...

The search data of "ruler" on Taobao has been greatly improved, and I instantly think of the picture of an ancient gentleman punishing students with a ruler, right?

But at this time, it is not the teacher who holds the ruler, but the parents.

As the mother of a child, I can understand the parents' desire to buy a ruler. After all, I hate it in my heart, which is too hard to get rid of.

But if you do, you will be wrapped in guilt afterwards. When I became a mother, I really learned to be patient. When I couldn't bear it, I went to the bathroom to calm down for a while.

Only when people are truly peaceful can they face problems and solve them. To solve the problem of children's dawdling, it is necessary to know why children dawdle, and the right medicine will be more effective.

Children are so curious that it is difficult for them to concentrate on one thing.

Children are full of curious cells, even a leaf that looks a little different can be studied for a long time.

In addition, I have to go through many things in the morning, such as getting dressed. Why is there static electricity? When brushing your teeth, why can the water in the water pipe be big or small, hot or cold? When washing your face, put water, put a towel, wring the towel dry, and then wipe your face and ears respectively.

For children, getting up, eating and doing homework are all complex combinations of actions. In this process, their attention will be unconsciously attracted by other interesting things.

Before, my colleague sent a circle of friends. On rainy days, I go to school to pick up my children. It was originally 10 minutes away. She walked with her daughter for an hour, looked at the stones on the road for a while, and then squatted down to observe the slowly creeping earthworm. Even if you see a slightly different stick, you should pick it up and observe it.

This function is the root cause of inefficiency in telling children.

It is difficult for children to predict the future, and more is to live in the present.

As adults, we know that we will be fined for being late, or miss something important, get up early and skip meals, and then we will be hungry and have no energy to work or study.

But it is difficult for children to predict these results. They actually live in the "present" and don't care or have the ability to think about the consequences.

It is difficult for children to understand the abstract concept of time.

We often tell children, hurry up, right away, and 10 minutes or 20 minutes, or it will be 8 o'clock soon, but children are not so clear about the abstract concept of time.

According to the research of scientists (from Sohu Education):

Even if the average child's cognition of time is so, there are special circumstances. I met an 8-year-old child who was still stupid in the morning and afternoon.

After reading these, I understand that my slap on the child was wrong. At that time, he was less than 4 years old, so 10 minutes I didn't know what I meant when I said he was going out.

But even so, it does not mean that there is nothing we can do in the face of children's "dawdling". Parents, as scaffolding for children, should help children face all kinds of tests in their growth.

Remember when Shuoyang was urging his son in Where's Dad Going last year? Although the child finally did as he asked, the urged child looked so pitiful and helpless.

In fact, if you want to solve the problem of children's slow movements, you can try this:

First, lower expectations and leave free time for urgent tasks.

When working with children, you should leave more time, otherwise it will easily collapse.

It takes 3 minutes to get up, so it takes 10 minutes to get ready, in case some children get up. Eating is supposed to be 10 minutes, so prepare for 15 minutes. It takes 1 hour to write the homework plan, and it will take 1.5 hours anyway.

Don't use our time standard to ask children, after all, children are still young, and their self-control ability, that is, the prefrontal cortex, is not fully developed.

Lowering expectations and leaving some spare time can avoid being less angry and make impulsive behavior regret.

Secondly, help children break down tasks without complicated action instructions.

Children in kindergartens, in particular, need to break down their tasks, not simply eat, but move away from the sofa, pick up the spoon and we begin to eat.

If the child is not paying attention when eating, it is better to eat quickly than to rush him, or you will be late for dinner. I asked her what she was thinking. Mom writes it down for him first, and then we can think about it together after dinner.

For primary school children, homework seems to be the same thing. In fact, homework is divided into different subjects and different projects, and it also needs to be dismantled.

When children perform a complex task, their attention is likely to be distracted. At this time, they don't blame, but pull their attention back to achieve their goals.

Third, feel the time with children and gradually establish the concept of time.

Although children don't know how long a few minutes are, they can feel the existence of time, such as a 3/5 minute hourglass.

Of course, they can also tell him with their favorite cartoons. For example, the episode of Piggy Peggy is almost 6 minutes, and 10 minutes is about as long as the episode of Super Flash, which is easy for children to understand.

When children have a certain sense of time, they can use some spare time to do housework with their children, such as washing vegetables for five minutes or sweeping the floor for three minutes.

Guide children to finish what they should do in a reasonable time, such as writing homework on time and getting up at the specified time.

In the process of children becoming more and more aware of the rules, giving them appropriate "rewards" is not necessarily material. It can be going to an art exhibition with TA, or watching a newly released movie, and so on.

Finally, let the children bear the natural consequences and be responsible for their actions.

Of course, children can certainly bear the consequences. If you say that your child is late, it is obviously inappropriate to ask your child to compensate you for your lateness.

Take children who don't want to do their homework as an example. After repeated guidance and analysis of possible consequences, the child still doesn't want to do homework (I really don't rule out this situation).

Then let the children go to school with unfinished homework. As for whether you will be punished at school, or your name will be written on the blackboard, or you will have to make up before you can go home. These consequences will be borne by the children.

On the one hand, teachers' education, on the other hand, parents should also get involved in this. For example, when the original homework required 1 hour was written for 1.5 hours, the time for TA to play with toys or go out to play was reduced by half an hour.

Let the children bear the consequences, don't ridicule them, because they will learn from their mistakes. If we criticize him again, they may stop thinking.

In fact, muddling along is a child's "nature". They didn't deliberately oppose us, and there was no need to make us angry. They just live at their own pace.

Therefore, respect children's muddling along. In the slow pace, children can find really interesting things and their souls can be happy.

Admit it, in fact, we don't want children to become efficient adults so soon. After all, childhood is only once, and once you miss it, you can't start again.