Funny jokes that will make you laugh until your stomach hurts

Funny jokes that will make you laugh until your stomach hurts

Funny jokes that will make you laugh until your stomach hurts. Life is nothing more than joy, anger, sorrow and joy. Being happy is a day, and being unhappy is also a day. Then It's more cost-effective to be happy. Only those who are happy themselves and feel happy can bring happiness to the people around them, so let’s take a look at these funny jokes, hoping to bring you joy.

Funny jokes that will make you laugh until your stomach hurts 1

1. It is said that you can’t have your cake and eat it too, but God is so kind to me. I am poor and ugly. Being able to have them at the same time makes fat and short go hand in hand.

2. Girls often want to find a white horse, but when they open their eyes, they find that the world is full of gray donkeys.

3. If you have money, you will spend money; if you have no money, you will worship God.

4. I’m going to say something ugly first. If you are not my boyfriend, don’t blame me for being your girlfriend.

5. As long as I go to see you, I will run with all my strength.

6. Never lower your head, your double chin is so obvious.

7. I have two dreams, one is to dream, and the other is not to wake up.

8. I don’t like to fight with others in my life, and I will not give up what I deserve.

9. Unloading the burden that cannot be unloaded, the road to retreat; the tears that cannot be endured, chasing after A hopeless future.

10. I am a very unstable person. I will play with whoever has big breasts. I have no choice but to follow the crowd!

11. If you don’t have education, you can learn it. If you are ugly, you can fix it. If you are evil-minded, there is really no law.

12. Those who get up early are trapped by money; those who go to bed late are trapped by love! And you have them both!

13. As long as I go to see you, I will definitely take a taxi and let you pay.

14. They say that chickens and dogs are restless, but I don’t believe it. I have to test it myself.

15. Life is not only about the present, but also the wedding invitation from my ex.

16. When you have insomnia, you can’t count sheep, but count kebabs, one skewer, two skewers, three skewers, four skewers... Then you won’t be sleepy anymore and start to get hungry!

17. As a foodie, I feel really hungry if I don’t eat.

18. Being ugly is not scary. What’s scary is that you still believe it.

19. Taking the math test is like a doctor operating on a dying patient. Anyway, the first sentence that comes out is that I tried my best.

20. I thought I was decadent, but it turned out that I was! Funny jokes that will make you laugh until your stomach hurts 2

1. I was traveling by plane, and there was a couple sitting next to me. When I was given a set meal like that on the plane, I said to my husband: Look at the one next to them, the women can’t finish the meal, and the men eat the rest. It’s so cute. The husband said quietly: Will you leave it?

2. When my uncle came to visit, Xiaowen said to his mother: "Mom, I want to go to the zoo to see monkeys." The mother immediately scolded: "What monkey are you looking at? Your uncle is here, why do you go to the zoo?"

　3. My wife bought a hamster and a cage. I asked her how much it cost, and she said how many hamsters and how many cages. After hearing this, I complained that this cage is more expensive than a hamster? The second-hand guy replied: "Do you think your house price will be higher than the current price?"

4. When I was in high school, I was the last in the class and never came to school and spent all day in Internet cafes. But the strange thing is that he comes to every exam and never misses it. Later we discovered that before every exam, the second-to-last person in the class would go to the Internet cafe to give the last-to-last member a 10-yuan membership, begging him to take the exam...

5. I heard a roommate say when I was in college. One of his friends expressed his feelings: "Brother is getting married.

” One message after another: “You didn’t get on the boat first and then pay for the tickets, right? Congratulations!” "The reply later: "It's not me, it's my brother..."

6. The wife asked her husband: "If I go crazy, will you still love me? "My husband said firmly: "Love! "My wife thought for a while and said sadly: "You really love my appearance! "

7. The wife asked her husband coquettishly: "Do you like my tenderness, or are you obsessed with my sexy figure? The husband was embarrassed for a while and replied: "I just like your sense of humor!" ! "

8. When walking with my boyfriend, I like to put my arms around his waist and pull on his clothes. One day while walking, he suddenly said: "Stop pulling on my clothes, okay? I was displeased and said, "Can't you add a baby when you talk to me?" Then he said: "Don't pull my precious clothes, okay?" "Me: "..."

9. After the two mice got married, the female mouse became more and more arrogant. One night, the male mouse wanted to scare her, so he came to the door of the house and meowed like a cat. Not only was the wife not afraid, but she was tender. Said: "Brother Cat, stop barking, my husband hasn't gone on a business trip yet. "

10. "I have liked to investigate the truth since I was a child. When I grow up, my dream is to be a detective. Now I am the editor-in-chief of a newspaper. What about you? "

"I have loved playing since I was a child. When I grow up, my dream is to travel around with a lot of money. Now I am a bus conductor. "

11. When I went home at night, I heard crying in the alley. When I looked closer, I saw that it was a disheveled woman crying. When asked what happened, the lady replied: "I was violated by a pervert! Me: "Are you okay?" The lady replied: "He suddenly grabbed my breast from behind and then let me go..." I said: "Then why are you crying?" The young lady replied: "Because... the pervert actually said that he was so unlucky to have hugged a man." "

12. After the boss went to work, he sat there depressed. The secretary asked why? Boss: "Yesterday I received a letter from a guy saying that if I didn't leave his wife, he would kill me! Secretary: "Why don't you just leave his wife?" Boss: "But that guy didn't sign it!" "

13. Once, a very bad eunuch stopped Ji Xiaolan and asked him to tell a joke. Ji Xiaolan said: "Once upon a time, there was a man. "Then there was silence for a long time, and the eunuch asked impatiently: "Where's down there? Ji Xiaolan replied: "There is no more down there!"

14. One day in class, the teacher asked Xiaoli: "What is the motherland?" Xiaoli said: "Teacher, the motherland is my mother." The teacher said: "That's a good answer." Then the teacher Then he asked Xiao Ming: "Xiao Ming, what is the motherland?" Xiao Ming said: "Teacher, the motherland is Xiaoli's mother."

15. Late at night, my husband did not come home. The daughter anxiously called her mother: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, so there must be another woman!" The mother comforted her softly: "Silly boy, be good, don't think of the worst, maybe he was in a car accident!"

16. A foreigner moved next door to a buddy. One night the foreigner knocked on the door and asked for help, saying: "My TV is broken and I can't change the channel." The buddy looked down at his watch and said calmly: "It'll be fine after half past seven"!

17. I once borrowed a relative’s loudspeaker and placed a heart-shaped candle downstairs in the boys’ dormitory to prepare for confession. I pressed the switch and was about to shout when a voice came from the loudspeaker: “Recycle, refrigerator, Color TV, washing machine, gas tank." Then I started crying. . .

18. When I saw an old man carrying heavy things upstairs, I wanted to say: Grandpa, let me help you carry the things! He opened his mouth and turned into: Grandpa, old man, let me help you get it!

19. My boyfriend and I quarreled to the point of breaking up. Both parties were very emotional. I angrily sent a sentence saying, "I will get rid of the package myself." When I got emotional, I typed "I will get rid of the corn myself." ” My boyfriend texted “bye hamster.”

20. I went to my neighbor’s house to borrow something. They were eating watermelon. When he lent me something, I said: I won’t eat it. . . The face I lost at that time has not been found yet.