Ceng Xiaoxian's lines

Welcome to your moon, my heart. I am the good guy, and I am-Ceng Xiaoxian frowned (Lisa Rong lisa will give Ceng Xiaoxian a hard look on the radio). Brother Xian, who am I?

1. "Welcome to your moon, my heart. The good man is me, I am Ceng Xiaoxian. " (signboard)

Hu Yifei: "Zhan Bo and I used to be conjoined babies. Before we were two years old, our heads were all connected. We have telepathy. "

Ceng Xiaoxian: "Right, so when the doctor left, he gave all his brains to Zhan Bo."

3. The little fairy is dead and has something to burn.

4. Yifei ~ Xiaofeifei ~ ~ Feifei Feifei ~ ~

Wan Yu: Handsome enough to be cut? ! Why would anyone call that name? I guess this person must be ugly in reality!

Fairy: This person is me. ...

[6] Xiaoxian: "Narnia sanatorium, a needle package has a good therapeutic effect, and it is not annoying. Go to bed early, 20% off, and spend less money. During the national promotion period, the price of broken vegetables is only 998 yuan, and you will be sent to hospital immediately. You will also receive a kitchen knife with eight stars and eight arrows, and the Narnia sanatorium has a good effect. (Finally, Xiaoxian takes out a golden finger)

Now I finally know why there are so many fake milk powders! It's simple! You buy some milk powder first, then stir it and dry it. Look, this is handmade milk powder, and there is also a nice name called Luffy milk powder. I have thought of all the advertising words for you: since drinking Luffy milk powder, my back is sore, my legs have stopped hurting, and my heart has stopped beating ~

Yifei: As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the lover, so what is it in the eyes of the beauty?

Fairy: Eye drops!

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Xiaoxian's date. I am your new little fresh and good friend!

100 people have 100 opinions. You can't satisfy everyone, because not everyone ... is human!

5. In the car. . Yifei, Zhanbo, Ziqiao and Xiaoxian. .

Fairy: What are you afraid of fighting? There are four and a half men in our car!

Zhan Bo (glancing at Yifei): There are only three and a half men in our car. ...

Zi Qiao: What Ceng Laoshi means is that he is a man and I am a man. One Filipino counts as two, and you count as half, which is exactly four and a half.

5] After breaking up with Meijia, Ziqiao found another roommate.

Zi Qiao: Hello! We are brothers, don't you support me?

Fairy: Well, I support you in spirit ~

Zi Qiao: Just moral support?

Fairy: Do you still want to hit my body?

Zi Qiao: Not the body. . . Is to support me financially. I am short of money recently. You know, dating, inviting people to dinner, this and this. . .

Fairy: Come on! Financial support is gone! There's a body. Do you want it? (Punch Joe pulls away his coat)

Yifei: How was the performance?

Fairy: Great, great, indescribable and incomparable.

Wan Yu: Really?

Fairy: It's loud and fake! My whole soul has been sublimated! Now I think my soul is much more noble than you debauchery, depravity, shaking your head, coquettish, corrupt, dishonest, value sex over friends and despicable guys! (~ ~ Of course, he is also a batting practice type sometimes ~ ~ ~)

5. People are afraid of famous pigs and strong, and dead mice are not afraid of cold!

⒖ (Hosting radio program) Xiaoxian: "Parents can't call their children rabbits, because ... it's bad for parents genetically."

Audience: Ceng Laoshi, did you watch the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympic Games?

Fairy: Of course, that's really unprecedented.

Audience: In the last eight minutes in London, did you know that Beckham kicked a big foot ball with a straight face to the audience? Do you remember?

Fairy: Yes.

Audience: But I still don't understand. Why did Beckham kick such a big ball? Does it make sense?

Fairy: Mm-hmm. . . Mr. Wang, you don't seem to have an emotional problem, do you?

Audience: Isn't this a late-night talk show? I can't sleep even thinking about this question now!

Fairy: This question. . . I suggest you ask. . . Beckham!

Audience: If you can ask him, I will ask you! Can't you solve any difficulties?

Fairy: Alas. . . Okay, this question. . . Um ... . The significance of Beckham's playing football lies in. . . He wants to say that your Beijing Olympic Games is already so awesome, so we are in London. . . How about kick-off? !

⒘ Hu Yifei gave incense to his ancestors and told them that Zhanbo had finally become a man.

Fairy: You burn incense, you burn incense. Why did you bow to the photo of Jay Chou? (~ ~ ~ speechless)

⒙ Meijia met Xiaoxian for the first time.

Meijia: "Excuse me, are you the director of the apartment neighborhood Committee under the sub-district office?"

Xiaoxian (angrily): "Vice Chairman!"

Meijia: "Ah! Vice president ~ ~ He is no longer a priest. Can we live in an apartment? "

Fairy: "Yes!"

Meijia (excited to live): "water and electricity are free, and the rent is halved?" ! "

Fairy: "Of course!"

Meijia: "Ah! ~! ~ so handsome! I love you! "

Fairy: "Wait a minute! Your boyfriend

Fairy: "rich men will not go bad, sows will become monsters in trees!" " "

⒛ returned to a school in Shanghai during the Anti-Japanese War.

Hu Xiaofei: "He is the vice president of the student union under our drama club. He is a good son." (once stood up from his seat)

Tang Xiaoyou: "Wow! He looks like a star! "

Zeng Xianer: "Wang Leehom! Wang Leehom! " (expectation)

Hu Xiaofei: Oh, I remember, Bi Fujian.

2 1. Xiaoxian looked at a fly of fried rice with eggs and said with deep feelings, "Maybe one day, your brain will collapse, and then the next day you will leave a pile of excrement and bandages on your head. However, life always goes on, because the big things will always calm down. Good man is me, I'm Ceng Xiaoxian, everybody, I'm back.

22. Interrogated in prison when crossing back to War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression.

Jailer: "What's your name?"

Zeng Xianer: "My name is Jackie Chan ..."

Jailer: "Why don't you call Zhen Chen? Come on, what's your name? "

Zeng Xianer: "My name is Zhen Chen ..."

Prison guard: "... what's your name? "

Zeng Xianer: "I said, I said, my name is Zeng Ge, believe me, you believe me, my name is really Zeng Ge, you believe me ~! (The person next to him is resurrected in situ) You see, I said believe me ~ "

23. When I saw the man with a beard.

Ceng Xiaoxian: "Yo, yo, yo, this little thing looks really chic."

24. Ceng Xiaoxian: "Is there such a high technology now that you can customize your boyfriend according to people's needs, and I want to customize it?" Yifei looked at Xiaoxian in surprise. "I mean my girlfriend."

Yifei: "Idiot, of course not. However, this has fully proved that Meijia has never forgotten these two people. Why do you think he didn't choose others, but brought Epad back? "

Ceng Xiaoxian: "It's sold out because of love madness."

25. Ceng Xiaoxian sang "Dogs jump over walls when they are nervous".

Ceng Xiaoxian (20)

Ceng Xiaoxian: "Well, I admit it's all my fault, my fault. Okay, what I didn't do was my fault. My fault. I made too many mistakes, so don't talk about it any more. Dogs will climb over the wall when they are in a hurry. "

26. Have enough to eat and do nothing.

27. Yao Yao: "What are you filming?"

Ceng Xiaoxian: "No, just now Teacher Gu said that this action of yours is particularly obscene. Bah! Very, very touched. I couldn't help taking a picture. "

28. Ceng Xiaoxian: "When faced with two choices, tossing a coin is always effective, not because it always gives the right answer, but because the second you throw it in the air, you suddenly know what you want."

Ceng Xiaoxian: "Life is a one-way trip. Even if there are some regrets, we have no chance to start again. Instead of dwelling on the past that cannot be changed, it is better to cherish the future with a smile, because there is no if in life. "

30. Ceng Xiaoxian: "If a brain-dead person can fly, then this is simply an airport!"

3 1. Ceng Xiaoxian: "Nolan, one Filipino counts as two people. You are not dominant in gender and number of people! " [5]