Do you really mean what others say casually?

I don't know if you have ever had such an experience. Others inadvertently said a kind word, but you left your heart behind.

Xiao Jing told me a story about a fat brother. Brother Pang is a friend of Mr. A. At that time, she and Mr. A were not married. Brother Pang and Mr. A are good enough to wear a pair of trousers.

Every time I have a full meal, Brother Fat will say the last sentence: If you are short of money when you get married, tell Brother Fat. Is there any Brother Fat? 180,000 is always ready for you.

At first, Xiao Jing thought it was kind, so let him say it casually and listen to it himself. Brother Pang said it many times, and Xiao Jing took it seriously. At that time, Xiao Jing was thinking that it is enough to have such a friend in life.

Before getting married, Mr. A had no extra money for catering except decoration, bride price and 7788 yuan. At this time, Xiao Jing proposed to borrow 20 thousand from Fat Brother first. Near the wedding day, Mr. A had to borrow money from Fat Brother and promised to pay him back from the gift money as soon as the banquet was over. Brother Pang was as cheerful as expected and promised to send the money the next day.

Three days have passed, and there is no news of Brother Fat. Mr. A had to call again to ask, but Brother Pang said he was not here and would send the money as soon as he came back the day after tomorrow. A week passed and no one saw the money. Finally, I borrowed money from another friend. And that fat brother, they didn't attend the wedding either, only people got a gift of 300 yuan.

Afterwards, Xiao Jing asked Mr. A not to associate with Fat Brother again, thinking that Fat Brother was too hypocritical. Xiao Jing said that she didn't hate Fat Brother because he didn't borrow money. After all, borrowing money is a mutual affection, and not borrowing is a duty. She is angry with the hypocrisy of Fat Brother before marriage and his attitude of fooling people again and again.

In life, people like Pongo abound. They casually said a kind word and didn't care about a promise, but the listener believed it. If you don't take it seriously, you won't be sad. Maybe, if you watch too much, it will be normal.

One year, something happened at home, and many colleagues in the unit were caring and attentive to me. A female colleague who doesn't usually deal with me very much also told me sincerely that she needed money and told her at any time that she had it there. When I said thank you to her, I didn't mean to.

Because I know that some pleasantries are blurted out at a specific time in a specific scene. Maybe the speaker didn't think it over at that time, or maybe he left his heart in the face of the situation, but left that environment, those pleasantries were like rootless duckweeds, illusory. Seriously, you lose.

Xiao Jing later told me that she had quarreled with Mr. A many times because of Fat Brother. Mr. A said that after all, they have been friends for so many years, and not borrowing money may be his reason. Maybe it's really no money and no face. Don't hurt your feelings because of money.

After marriage, they plan to open a small restaurant. After the shop was selected, Mr. A asked Brother Pang to help decorate it, because Brother Pang is an expert. As a result, the fat brother promised to go to the store for a long time, and he disappeared for a month.

Xiao Jing said that since then, she has never heard the word fat brother from Mr. A's mouth.

I also think that if Mr. A didn't borrow money from Fat Brother at first, maybe they are still good friends in the eyes of others.

There is a tacit understanding in the world. I just say some polite words. Just listen and don't take it seriously. Remember, this is the rule of the game for us to continue playing.

Invite you to dinner another day. Welcome to my home. If you are short of money, we can talk. Call me if you need anything. If you have a chance to get together, it's my treat ... Do you often hear such kind words in your life?

When people communicate with each other, sometimes it is inevitable to say something kind. Most people don't take it seriously, but some people don't think so.

I saw an activity initiated by a netizen in Weibo earlier called "Cure your habit of installing X", which made people laugh.

For example, someone says to you, "I'll treat you to dinner another day!" " The impolite answer is "no, please treat me today!" " "

When someone says to you, "I'll pay you back next time!" " You can answer, "No, I can repay you now! " "

When someone sends you an invitation to "come to my hometown and I'll provide food and shelter", you can immediately answer: "Say yes, I'll accompany you on holiday."

When someone tells you that you are short of money, you must say, "This is just the right time. I only need five thousand dollars. Is it convenient to lend it to me now? "

I don't believe this. Meeting me politely is really honest, and it can't cure your smelly habit of pretending to be X.

Don't take polite words as the biggest hidden rule in our society.

Many years ago, I read such a story in the newspaper. A writer from Shandong told me that he just came to Beijing, which is worth pondering.

This guy was depressed when he came to Beijing twelve years ago. One day, he met a famous musician by chance in a hotel. The musician patted the Shandong youth on the shoulder and said that he would come to his brother if he had any difficulties in the future.

This honest Shandong buddy took it seriously, and then he met with difficulties and went to find someone else. People are perfunctory, which makes Shandong buddies very sad. He said: our hometown people are bold and brave, and they keep their word, but they don't know if they are being polite.

It is possible and sometimes necessary to say polite words in the right place at the right time. It is a cosmetic for interpersonal communication and entertainment.

For example, say "I've heard a lot about you" to new people, and ask others to read articles and say "give me advice". Saying "I've heard a lot about you" doesn't really admire you; When you say "give me advice", you don't really want to accept your teaching.

The world is all-inclusive. It is necessary to say some kind words in social situations. Let's just talk and listen, but don't believe it, let alone be confused by those kind words. (This article is the first writer circle)