Looking for humorous English text messages...

Hey, all classics, all funny, give your best friend a text message in English, haha

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

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"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'"

"But that's right! "

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?"

"That's exactly what I said!"

1. This msg. will refresh your brain in 5 seconds. 5...4...3...2...1...

gt; Error : No Brain Detected!!!

This message will clear your mind for 5 seconds. 5…4…3…2…1…

gt; Error message: Brain not detected! ! !

2. Not every flower symbolizes for love, but rose can do it; not every tree can stand thirst, but alamo can do it, not every pig can read short message, but you can do it. Congratulations !

Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplars can; not every pig can read short messages, but You did it. congratulations!

3. Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart. You are blessed with both! FLATTERED?

Don't Be! It was sent to me. I just wanted you to read it.

A pretty face can attract the eye but a good character can attract the heart. You are lucky to have both! Being complimented?

Come on! This short message is for me. I just wanted you to see it.

4. Can u pronounce good English? Read along: woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, poof, woof, woof, hoof, loof, roof, shoof, Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.

Your English pronunciation is very standard? Read on: woof, roof, loof, shoof, shoof, woof, loof, poof, woof, woof, hoof, loof, roof, shoof, Test result: You are a good dog. You can stop barking now.

5.Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when you wake up today?

1) Pray-so that u may live...2) Take a bath-so that others may live too!

Good morning... Did you do these two most important things when you woke up this morning?

1) Pray - so that you can live... 2) Take a shower - so that others can live too!

6.In the morning I do not eat because I think of you.

At noon I do not eat because I think of you.

In the evening I do not eat because I think of you,

and at night I do not sleep because I'm hungry.

Because I think of you, I didn't eat breakfast. Because I missed you, I didn't eat lunch. I didn't have dinner because I missed you. I couldn't sleep at night because I was hungry.