Classic funny words and short sentences

1. Since ancient times, no one has died and no one needs paper to shit.

2. Women like two kinds of flowers best in their life: one is to spend money, and the other is to spend as much as possible!

3. Two mandarin ducks with the same life and a pair of poor butterflies.

As a typical loser, you are really successful.

The more time we save, the more time we waste.

6. Go shopping with your boyfriend in summer, and he won't always want to walk in the shade behind you.

7. People who come face to face turn around because of appreciation rather than curiosity.

8. How much cosmetics have been saved by losing your face.

9. It's easy to squeeze the bus and subway.

10. You know, it's a shame to tell the salesgirl if she has any extra-large clothes. But the clothes here are too fat, but you can safely say.

1 1. Even the king of Tonga ordered the whole country to lose weight.

12. Genetics tells us calmly that cross-species love is doomed to have no good result.

13. Old Moon! Can you not marry me with the inferior red rope from the cottage? From time to time.

14. He Wenxuan once said to Li Qingyuan: You are not gay because you haven't met a man who makes you move.

15. Bah! My ears tingle. Is that what you want to tell me?

16. I can't lengthen the length of life, but I can expand the width of life. You only look thin when I am fat, lest I look ugly when I am thin.

17. The only two things I can do in my reading career are watching the results of Xueba Show and the love of couples.

18. China is rich in population resources. But why can't so many men get married? Is it because of the shackles of feudal thought that the proportion and number of men and women have been disrupted, or because of the retrogression of society, polygamy has begun again?

19. I really want to become an animal when I am impulsive, even if it is just a hardworking animal. Listen to your master's orders and don't feel helpless. Or simply take grafting and have a thorough sex-change operation. Run to the crowd to make up for mistakes and let compatriots have another way out.

20. Singles Day is coming, birds are in love, ants live together, flies are pregnant, mosquitoes miscarry, butterflies divorce, caterpillars remarry, and frogs have children. What are you waiting for?

2 1. Matchmaking agencies are all over the streets. I also fantasized that they could help me open up sales. However, in the end, I understand what it means to recognize a thief as a father, and I have been squeezed by my married partner for several years.

22. The crowd searched for her for thousands of Baidu and set foot on the road. Suddenly looking back and looking around, there are countless uncles and aunts. Occasionally, beautiful women patronize, or married women, and most of the rest are basically ugly.

23. An old lady has been squatting in the jar for a long time to let her have some air.

24. I won't bend over when money falls from the sky, because even pies won't fall from the sky, let alone money.

25. Everyone has a dark side. If you say you are simple, I can only say that you are not human!

26. Teacher, Xiaogang will ask for leave tomorrow, because he may be ill tomorrow.

27. I never hold grudges, but I usually report them on the spot.

28. I am a student with unlimited potential. I can finish my National Day homework in three hours, but it's a fucking passive skill.1It won't start until the evening of October 7th.

29. Why don't you be rational? My uncle is here. Why did you think of going to the zoo to see bears?

30. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static means sleeping, dynamic means turning over …

3 1. It's not that I'm depressed. I think this kind of air pollution is caused by those mask manufacturers.

32. Part I: I didn't bring my student ID card and admission ticket. Part II: I didn't do the listening and reading composition questions. Horizontal recognition: focus on participation.

33. One day I went shopping without glasses and saw a very handsome and familiar person. I want to go and see who it is. It turned out to be a mirror.

34. Hee hee and haha are good friends, very good friends. One day, haha died. Hee hee is very sad. He went to Haha's grave and said, Haha, you are dead.

35. The so-called pig-like roommate should be that I have a cold and ask him to bring me a box of black and white ones. He brought me a pack of Oreos.

There is no doubt that I am the poor man in your dream.

37. I am small-minded, but I don't lack it. I have a good temper, but I don't lack it!

38. You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is really unbearable!

39. The wicked said: Call me a wicked man and I will kill you!

40. No matter how old a human member is, he is always young before money.

4 1. Ducks are too arrogant and rabbits are too talkative. I'm a pig. I'm fine.

42. Animals are still a little pathetic, but I don't, so I'm not an animal.

43. My goldfish drowned this morning.

44. The so-called net worm wants to click with the mouse even when he sees the underline in the magazine.

45. To marry a wife should be to marry Xiao Shao, to make friends should be Ling Huchong, and to be a man should be Qiao Feng, and to go back and forth to Wei Xiaobao.

46. If being rich is also a mistake, I'd rather make the same mistake again.

47. The strength of a man is the RMB in your pocket.

I don't even believe in punctuation.

49. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first.

50. Distance produces not beauty, but mistress.

5 1. The world is so chaotic, who are you pretending to be pure for?

52. If you are the one, if a female guest turns off another man's light, the aunt downstairs in the dormitory can turn off the whole floor!

53. People who have been dissatisfied with hairstyles have one thing in common: they refuse to admit that it is a matter of face.

54. I connected all my memories into a movie, and a tragedy came into being.

55. Everyone says my sister is beautiful, but in fact she wears makeup.

56. Hunger, if done well, is called losing weight; Pinch this thing, well done is called massage; Being in a daze, doing well is called profound; Being lazy and doing well is called enjoying; Persistence in doing well is called persistence; Play dumb, if you do it well, it's as stupid as you think.

57. Ambiguous is that I borrowed money from you, but you didn't say it was good, only that your husband was not at home. ...

As the saying goes, if you laugh, the whole world laughs with you. You cried. You are the only one crying in the world.

When I see a beautiful woman, I will first touch my pocket to see if I have any money!

60. I will be friends with whoever says I am white, thin and beautiful.

6 1. Please don't disturb while taking a shower. Please buy tickets for voyeurism, 40 for individuals and 20 for groups!

62. Teacher, wait, I'll let the Buddha marry you!

63. I'm so pure, I'm a little shameless!

64. If you wear fashion, it is not mainstream. Dress sexy and you can sit on the stage.

65. My progress made him sit up and take notice, and since then he has lost his eyes.

66. When I am completely full, ordinary young people will complain that I have lost an empty face, and eating food will give me a rest and a relaxed face ~

67. A painting is wrong at the first stroke and has to be scribbled all the way.

You see, there are always so many things that make you sad: rain or shine, joys and sorrows, impotence and premature ejaculation ...

69. Don't be too confident in yourself. There are more people who can take care of you than you think.

70. If the exam rewards QB, then the country will become rich and strong immediately.

7 1. The weather is fine today. I stayed indoors for a long time and am going to play in the living room.

72. Question: Why is summer vacation necessarily longer than winter vacation? Answer: Because it expands with heat and contracts with cold.

73. When you are in a bad mood, make harassing calls to others in the middle of the night, wake others up and go to bed.

74. When people do good deeds, they always want ghosts and gods to know. They have done bad things and always think that ghosts and gods don't know. We are too embarrassed.

75. If people don't commit crimes against me, I won't commit crimes; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

76. Don't look back, I only love your back.

77. I smoke because it hurts my lungs, and I'm not sad.

78. Everything has a price, and the price of happiness is pain.

79. When there is a legend in the Jianghu, I am sorry for the audience.

80. I won't tell you if I die. You haven't done a honey trap yet!

8 1. Marble insole, shameless.

82. If you fool around, you will get bored sooner or later.

83. I'll hit you if I hit you. Do we have to choose a date?

84. Play a little mahjong and have a spicy meal. Find a small object, life is like this.

85. In this era when everything is rising in price, I am suddenly delighted to find that the air is not rising in price, but there are more and more materials.

86. So far, three apples have changed the world: one seduced Eve, one awakened Newton, and one was held by Jobs.

87. Now Beijing only breathes and farts without waiting in line.

I told you to keep a low profile. But you have to give me applause and scream.

89. The woman is China Merchants Bank and the man is China Construction Bank.

After 90, low-key men show high-profile, high-profile signs of being beaten.

9 1, if you were a flower, cows wouldn't dare to shit in the future.

92. Women's clothes are called capital, and men's clothes are called perverts.

93. I'm not afraid to drink dichlorvos. I'm afraid I'll be surprised if I open the lid and enjoy another bottle.

94. I must appear in your household registration book. I can't be your husband, I can be your little father.

95, handsome and able to drive, that's chess, money and a house, that's a bank.

96. I smoke because it hurts my lungs and I'm not sad.

97. I knew he was a bad guy, but I forgot to mention it.

98. The deadly summer is coming. If anyone can install air conditioning in our classroom, we will marry the head teacher.

99. Don't propose to me. I said yes as soon as I proposed.

100, I am in Jianghu, but there is no legend about me in Jianghu.