Easy relationship, you have no internal friction.

I often feel tired and stressed, but in fact I have done nothing. But I'm so tired that I don't know what I want to do.

Yes, this is internal friction, which makes people physically and mentally exhausted.

I think there are two main types of internal friction. One is internal friction in the relationship with oneself, and the other is internal friction in the relationship with others.

And if you want to have a relaxed and harmonious relationship, it is to refuse internal friction.

Let's talk about the first one, the internal friction of our relationship. Usually, self-internal friction is manifested as "self-judgment", such as self-denial, self-doubt, self-rejection and so on. You may feel deeply hurt by someone's words or actions, which will lead to a series of psychological activities, such as feeling that you are not good enough and not loved.

Why is there such self-friction? The reason is that you have a low sense of self-worth and are used to putting yourself in the victim mode. You only pay attention to your feelings, so you can't see the real appearance behind things.

For example, please look at the picture below:

The girl's inner play is that the person she likes doesn't like her, so she comes to the conclusion that she doesn't deserve to be loved? Is it not worth finding someone you like?

Honey, is that true? That's not true.

There are three things in life that need to be clarified, one is about yourself, the other is about others, and the third is about God.

Like a person is our own business, others can't judge, whether others like us or not is someone else's business, and we can't interfere. So, do we deserve to be loved? What does being loved have to do with others? Whether it is worth forever depends on how you look at yourself. Others don't like you, maybe because they don't fit in, or get along in the wrong way, or for other reasons, we can only try our best to do our own thing.

Recently, there is a popular TV series "Good Life", which has a very interesting line: "Colorful Jiayuan is a marriage agency, not a love introduction. If this thing can be introduced, it belongs to God. "

This is also wisdom, telling us that man proposes, God disposes, and we should do our duty.

So, if you want to relax your self-relationship, you are rejecting self-friction.

Let's talk about the second kind of internal friction in relationships with people.

In our daily life, we often hear that I am doing it for your own good, but you are not that good ... parents say this to their children, teachers say this to their students, and the most common thing is that wives say this to their husbands.

But when we say these words, do we realize how we really feel? We are actually forcing others in the name of love. I think I am doing it for your own good after all, so I can do it, and the other party should not object to me. Opposition is the biggest criticism to me, and my kindness has not been well rewarded.

But we forget that human nature doesn't like being forced, so it will naturally resist. When we were boycotted, we felt hurt mercilessly. Think about it, I'm doing it for your own good, and you're ungrateful. Finally, if you are unhappy, others will be unhappy. So the internal friction in your relationship with others arises.

As we mentioned above, there are three things in life. You don't care about other people's affairs, just change who needs it. If you want to have a relaxed relationship, you must carry it clearly.

Therefore, if you want to make life easier, you must first be aware, then refuse internal friction, and finally, who needs to change.