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Brief introduction of family education model essay
Family education is a short experience. How parents educate and train their children is the focus of today's society. Children from kindergarten to primary school, from primary school to junior high school, high school and finally to college are the central topics people talk about. It is not surprising that parents and grandparents often arrange the life of the whole family around a child.
Times have changed, the living environment is superior, and family planning makes a family have only one child. Who doesn't care who doesn't love? This also invisibly gives children a sense of self-superiority. Even if some parents don't spoil their children, this phenomenon in society will affect their children, and children are very aware of their "status" at home. According to the analysis of these phenomena, children nowadays generally have the following problems: (1) There are too many entertainment items and they are not interested in learning; Good living conditions, do not want to suffer more; Too many people love you, but you don't listen to the opposite opinion, and so on. Therefore, educating and cultivating children is a headache. Here, I will briefly talk about my experience and lessons brought by my success and failure in this respect, and also give other parents a reference.
First, communicate with each other.
The problems of education and raising children cannot be explained quickly. It needs a rather difficult, complicated and long stage, and then through this stage, we will constantly sum up experiences and lessons and take measures, which may or may not be successful. But as long as you have been working hard, paying painstaking efforts and costs, and treating everything correctly, there will be good results.
I didn't deliberately raise my children, but the necessary care and education were not omitted. The first is to learn how to communicate with each other, how to cultivate the feelings between father and son, and how to talk to him. You needn't talk about the truth. At this point, some parents mistakenly think that telling the truth to their children will have a good result, but it doesn't! Children are born naive and like to listen to happy things. Unhappy things can cause disgust, even alienate you, and you can't communicate. This is very important. I think if my children like me, get close to me and even worship me, this is the first step to success. Next, it is not impossible for him to listen to the truth occasionally. Of course, don't push your luck, or he will be completely abandoned. The reason should be easy to understand, as long as he understands, he will stop immediately, otherwise he will give up the important reason. In addition, after children get along with their parents, they will naturally ask many questions for their parents to answer. Parents must seriously answer questions within their power. If they let their children down, they will ask fewer and fewer questions. At this point, obstacles will begin to appear and crises will begin to lurk.
All children are naturally playful. My measure is to join in and play with him. No matter what game you play, you should look for opportunities to achieve the purpose of education and training in the process of playing. In the past, I seldom played ball. In order to achieve my goal, I often play football, basketball, table tennis and so on with my children. After all, there is a certain gap between children and adults, so I often deliberately let him go when he is about to lose confidence; But when he became proud, I hit him mercilessly. He can at least experience the taste of victory and failure. This is also a way of education, not a lecture, so that he can experience some philosophy of life personally. If you simply satisfy his happiness, he will think victory is easy; On the other hand, if he always fails, he will lose the sense of competition. From a macro point of view, a small stadium is the same as the big "stadium" of life. In short, parents must learn how to "fly with the wind" when their children are interested, even if it doesn't obviously help him. Of course, anyone can tell the truth, but it is not so easy to do it. I often forget myself when I am upset.
Second, be good at discovering.
Education and training are two inseparable parts. Therefore, in the process of educating children, we should pay attention to cultivating children's specialties and interests. I am a mother who loves music very much. I really hope my child will like music like me in the future, so I let him play the piano when he was five years old. In the process of playing the piano, I found his strengths. He has a unique talent for music. It seems that to focus on training, first of all, we must not make him tired of the piano, and we must not force him according to my wishful thinking. So when he doesn't want to play the piano, I don't criticize him. I just look for opportunities to tell him some interesting stories and stories about music. At this time, "guidance" should be the main means. Once he becomes interested in a problem, he will immediately seize it, encourage and praise him. Although he plays the piano slowly, the main reason is that he stops for too long, more than half a year at most, but he never gets bored. This is also a success. Since then, he has become more and more interested in music. I am sure that music has become an indispensable part of his life at present.
I am too lazy to cultivate my interest in children. I study piano, percussion and badminton, including extra-curricular classes of Chinese and mathematics, and so on. I don't want to talk about it.
In addition to discovering the advantages of children, we should also be good at discovering their shortcomings. My child has many shortcomings, the most prominent of which is timidity and fear of contacting people, especially teachers. This is a fatal flaw. People's life is mainly about dealing with people, otherwise you will be isolated and lead to abnormal personality. Besides, no matter how talented a person is, if he doesn't get in touch with others, he can't display his skills, and he becomes a waste. So I must work hard to cultivate and train him. I try my best to work with him and let him experience exercise on all occasions where I can exercise him. Speaking of this problem, I want to thank the school leaders and teachers, who have provided many opportunities for my children, such as the performance of Children's Day on June 1 and the performance of the class collective party. As a parent, he tried his best to borrow musical instruments, rent a car, move things, coach and so on, so that his children got full exercise. Although not as brave as other children, they have made great progress compared with the past.
Secondly, children show a lack of logical thinking when doing math homework, so I oppose rote learning in the process of tutoring and emphasize process thinking. Even if the result is wrong, the method must be correct, and thinking must be logical first. When I was in primary school, I induced him in this respect almost every holiday. Similarly, we are less than others, but much better than ourselves.
Of course, raising children is not always such a model. Different educational methods should be formulated according to his own conditions, personality and hobbies, which is the complexity of hunger.
Third, treat it correctly.
All children have their own advantages, but there are inevitably shortcomings and mistakes. How to treat every achievement and every mistake of a child is a key issue for parents to consider.
Achievements should be praised and mistakes criticized, but the scale of praise and criticism is difficult to grasp. It is impossible not to encourage or criticize, but children who are too eager to encourage and criticize often have abnormal mentality. How to treat a few words is hard to say clearly. Here are only specific examples for your reference.
For a time, children did well in school, and almost every subject was a+. In order to encourage him, we not only praised him, but also bought many things he liked to eat, play and wear, and even met his slightly excessive requirements. As a result, the mid-term exam was not ideal. Through this incident, we gradually learned how to grasp the sense of proportion, and we should praise what we should praise, but never go too far.
Once we accidentally found a lot of B's in his exercise book. I was very angry at that time, but calm down and don't be impatient, so as not to hurt his self-esteem, which backfired. So I asked him calmly, "where did you get so much homework?" Did you accidentally do your homework again? " He made some explanations. Although his explanation is obviously far-fetched, I don't need to expose it. At least he knows that he is wrong, even a slight accusation depends on how he knows. I think grades are very important, but what is more important is learning attitude and learning process. Paying attention to attitude and process will inevitably lead to good results in the end.
Some people may think that my requirements for children are too loose, but they are not. When it comes to the key, be strict. Once I heard that their extracurricular classes were cancelled three times in a row. He lied about going to class, but actually went to play ball. I was rude this time. When I got home, I lost my temper and gave him a good lesson. Playing ball is not a bad thing, mainly for his way of lying. He seldom sees me lose my temper, so he thinks he may have made a big mistake and is a little scared. I seized this opportunity and told him a lot about being a man, and he naturally listened. After that, he never found himself making similar mistakes.
In short, parents should not be too happy when children have some achievements; Don't get angry easily when you make a mistake. On the one hand, you should leave room for your children. On the other hand, you should seize the opportunity to educate him rationally when he knows his mistake. How to treat it correctly depends on the situation at that time.
Fourth, find a way out.
It is also helpful to point out your future direction to your child in advance, so that your child can have a goal and know what he should do. I have made great efforts for my children in this respect.
As I said before, children have a special talent in music. You must make it clear to him that doing other things is probably not your strong point and you will fail. For example, if you like sports, I have no objection, but when you plan to engage in sports, you know exactly what will happen. Children also have self-knowledge. When it comes to this matter, he never refutes it. He knows that the road pointed out by adults is correct, and this goal will not change, but how to implement it in action.
Compared with ordinary children, my children have much more things to do every day. Practice piano, percussion, music, solfeggio, listening, notation and so on at noon, evening and weekends every day. Although he felt too stressed and sometimes seemed passive, he didn't find any reason to relax. In fact, I see it in my eyes and sympathize with it in my heart, so I can't talk about severity. Finally, I can only make a slight adjustment on the weekend and take him to some activities he likes, so that he won't feel so bored.
In the past two years, the child has mastered a certain skill without affecting his academic performance, which is earned by his diligence. In other words, he is trading the pain of the present for the happiness of the future, which he has long understood. He once said to other children: You play less now, so that you can play more later. Parents must have played a certain role in the formation of his consciousness. Therefore, the behavior of adults does have a great impact on children. This shows that education and training are our parents' unshirkable responsibilities and obligations.
Remember not to spoil your child, because your doting makes him lose his temper more, and such a child will suffer in the future!
Family education is a short experience. Fan's middle school students are a special group. They are in a transitional period from children to adults. They have their own unique psychological development characteristics and various psychological problems, so family education at this stage is particularly important. It not only has an important impact on children's life, but also has a far-reaching impact on improving the quality of the whole nation. It is so important to do a good job in family education for middle school students. So, what should parents do to give their children a good family education?
First, we should treat children's academic performance correctly.
In this era when educational achievements are measured by the enrollment rate, the quality of family education is often concealed by academic achievements. Most parents only care about the scores of middle school students, but don't know how to guide their children to make continuous progress and improve themselves in their studies, so as to succeed.
Some parents think that children's poor academic performance must be a sign of not being serious, which is wrong. In fact, 10% to 30% of children have learning disabilities, so parents should carefully analyze the reasons. For every student, not all students can get good grades and high marks. Success or failure also depends on students' attitude towards exam results. Therefore, parents should tell their children that they should be satisfied as long as they listen attentively in class and study hard, no matter how many points they get in the final exam. Because progress represents surpassing oneself, surpassing oneself, which is a kind of success.
Second, let children learn to be independent.
Traditional family values must be changed. For example, children must obey their parents unconditionally and be good children. Do not be the first, do not be the last; "A thousand dollars is hard to sit in the court" (not taking risks) ... Children should be trained in their scientific and democratic abilities, self-reliance and fair competition.
Parents might as well say to their children, "Son, you are in middle school and your parents trust you. You can make your own decision, and what your parents said can be used as a reference. " Give children enough confidence and give them more freedom. Respect their needs, interests and hobbies and encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings. Discuss with them when things happen, listen to their opinions, allow them to make their own choices and decisions, and tolerate children and parents having different opinions. Let children contact with social life, let children experience various viewpoints in social life, let children exercise in social life, increase their talents and improve their social adaptability.
Third, the implementation of mentor cooperation.
Parents should communicate and discuss with schools and teachers more, and treat schools and children with a tolerant attitude. School education is an important field of middle school education. Only by communicating with teachers can parents better understand their children's learning, thinking and life, so as to better communicate with their children, help them solve difficulties and setbacks in their growth, and promote the formation of their independent and sound personality.
Schools should build an interactive platform for parents, children and schools, that is, parent-teacher conferences, including parent activity committees, student activity committees, school safety committees and other branches, with the goal of stimulating children's interest in learning and promoting children's learning effects. And regularly carry out various activities, such as: lectures by educational experts, sharing of educational experience, etc. By strengthening the contact and communication between parents and schools, we can create a good family environment and learning environment for the formation of students' sound personality, thus promoting students' progress.
Fourth, nature education.
Let children get close to nature, get in touch with society, broaden their horizons, cultivate sentiment, exercise, temper their strong character and cultivate their love for nature and human beings. Children will understand many principles of dealing with people, truly appreciate the value of nature and life, feel the mystery of life, and begin to pursue their own ideals.
Family education is a short experience. Fan Wensan's parents are the children's first teachers. Good family education is very important for children's growth. From my parents' initial enlightenment education to my daughter's education now, my life experience tells me that family education is no less important to my children than school education, and even determines the development direction of my children and affects my life. My daughter has always been very good in study and morality. Of course, the contribution of schools and teachers is great, but it is also inseparable from family education. Now I want to talk about my daughter's growing education experience.
Home is a warm harbor for everyone, especially children. Let the family develop steadily and establish a good family, which is good for the growth of children, cultivate their healthy psychology and shape their noble personality.
At home, my daughter and I are both mother and daughter and friends. We always talk and discuss everything together. Although my daughter is still young, we will let her participate in the discussion and listen to her opinions when something happens. Over time, my daughter unconsciously enhanced her sense of responsibility. At home, we create a very harmonious and comfortable environment for our children. Family members live in harmony and neighbors help each other, so that she can grow up happily in this environment, so that she can respect the old and love the young, be humble and help each other, be tolerant and generous, and be kind to others. We let her feel that her parents are paying attention to her all the time, which gives her great strength in our concern. When she makes progress, even a little progress, we should praise and encourage her in time and give her confidence. When she made a mistake, I not only reprimanded her, but coaxed her to realize her mistake and correct it.
We attach great importance to children's moral education and often warn them: be honest, modest and caring; We set an example, consciously abide by relevant laws and regulations and civic codes, set an example for children, seize every opportunity, and educate children on personal morality.
We never put pressure on her in her studies. I have always asked her to listen carefully in class, remember what the teacher taught, and after finishing the class and homework carefully, she can arrange the rest of the time by herself and play as she wants. I never forced her to review. I remember that I forced her to review late before a math exam, and the result was worse than that after the exam, so I always asked her if she wanted to review before every exam, so she always asked me to help her review what she felt she didn't have. When I do well in the exam, I will praise her first, and then tell her the truth that "pride makes people go backwards"; I won't blame her for not doing well in the exam. I will encourage her and tell her that "temporary failure is better than temporary victory."
I think there are many ways to educate children, but they still vary from person to person. The above is just my personal family education experience. In short, in the past few years of education, I have always let my children study happily and grow up healthily, so that they will become the pillars of the country in the future!
The experience of family education is short-lived. Fan's family is his child's first school, his parents are his first teachers, and they are also role models for children to learn when they grow up. Therefore, good family education plays a vital role in children's life. When children were born, I attached great importance to their family education. Of course, I don't just teach my children to recite a few Tang poems, read a few children's songs and know a few Chinese characters, but teach them the truth and skills of dealing with people, so that they can develop a person with healthy mind and sound personality. Of course, for children who are only over two years old, vague teaching of abstruse truth can't make him understand the meaning, and children naturally won't understand it, so they need to start from bit by bit in life.
First, create a good family environment.
Family harmony is very important for children's growth. Love between family members will help children learn tolerance, understanding, love, love others and love themselves. Without the care of family, children will become more and more indifferent and selfish. I have seen many cases, such as children's depravity and numbness, all because of the lack of love in the family. Imagine a child who doesn't even love his parents and family, will he still care about strangers? Therefore, we must create a warm and harmonious family life for our children and let them live a happy and worry-free life.
Second, parents should set an example.
In family education, parents are role models for children, and their words and deeds will have a great influence on children inadvertently. Therefore, when parents ask their children to be polite and respect others, can they think about whether they have done this? I remember once, xx made a mistake. I severely reprimanded him and said some harsh words, saying that if you do this again, I will hit you. I didn't think there was a problem at first, but later he actually learned this sentence and kept saying that I hit you.
This makes me regret and feel sad. I regret that I shouldn't have said this to my children before. Sadly, my child said this to my mother. Therefore, when children can still correct, we parents must be cautious and think twice about our every move. No matter how angry you are, think about what effect I will have on the children.
Third, rewards and punishments are moderate, seeking truth from facts, and children lose their temper.
If the child is right, we should praise him attentively, and if the child is wrong, we should correct him in time. Reward and punishment should be measured, and enough is enough. Although education experts advocate praising children more at present, I think this should be divided a little because I have personal experience. Xx played with building blocks when he was one year old. It was a mistake, but I think he gave him praise and encouragement the first time he played. I tried to promote his progress, but it backfired. Instead, I make mistakes every time I go on stage and become stubborn. No matter what I say, he still doesn't understand. This reminds me that if I had corrected him when he first played, maybe this situation would not have happened at this moment. Therefore, I insist that parents should seek truth from facts when praising their children, and should not praise them blindly.
Of course, the criticism is more moderate. If you criticize too much, or even hit your child, your child will gradually become rebellious. The child did something wrong, but still insisted on using reason to persuade him that he could not turn over the old account. The most important thing is that what you say can make children understand and listen. When xx did something wrong, I always told him a lot of truth. As a result, he still went his own way. After listening to the recommendation of experts, children can understand what you say better, and don't say some vague truths. And when the child loses his temper willfully, he doesn't listen to anything you say, so my approach is to treat it coldly, let the child make trouble by himself, and parents can look on coldly. When the child feels that crying is meaningless, we will talk to him about it when he calms down, which is more effective.
Let him know that if you keep telling him this and that when he loses his temper, it will only aggravate the development of the situation. If the crying continues, then we can only take him away from the scene and distract the child, which may be better.
Fourth, let children learn to respect others.
Let children learn to respect others. First of all, parents should learn to respect their children. This is my consistent insistence. When xx was very young, I could squat down and listen to his advice. Some people may say what such a young child can think, but it is not. Although the child is young, he is still an individual. He has thoughts, and we should respect him more. For example, xx always takes toys with him when he goes out. At first, his grandfather always stopped him from bringing toys, but after a long time, he didn't go out. Although the toy is put down, he will still cry for a long time. Now think about it, crying at that time may be because of dissatisfaction with the disrespect of adults.
After that, I discussed with xx. At first, I discussed with him what toys to take out. Gradually, he took the initiative to discuss with me and became obedient. Even outside, when xx gets along with his children, I will teach him to respect others. For example, if he sees other children's toys and wants to play with them, I will teach him to discuss with them, "If you don't play, can you give me the toys for a while?" When other children want his toys, I will teach him, "Give the toy to this child for a while, will you?" Everything depends on the child's own wishes, and the wishes of adults cannot be imposed. I've made such a mistake before. When I was playing with my friend's children, I saw my friend's children crying for xx's toys. I always grabbed xx's toys for other children without thinking, so xx developed the habit of grabbing them and crying as soon as he took them off while sleeping. I think it was at that time that I hurt his self-esteem, and my disrespect for him caused him serious consequences. Although times have changed, xx has gradually recovered.
Fifth, let children learn to do things by themselves as soon as possible and cultivate their labor habits.
When xx just learned to sit, we had put him on a stool to have dinner with his family. Although he couldn't eat by himself at that time, we insisted that he see how adults eat, so xx slowly learned to eat by himself and learned to eat with chopsticks very early. As long as he can do things at home, he insists on doing them himself, such as sweeping the floor, washing vegetables, taking chopsticks, moving stools and so on. Many parents think that what children can do at such a young age is getting busier and busier. In fact, it is certain that he can't do well, but as long as he participates, if you always stop him from working, he will feel that his mother doesn't need me, and over time he will no longer be willing to do it. Moreover, the cultivation of work habits will make him cherish the fruits of other people's labor more, such as not putting his toys around, not littering and so on.
Sixth, create a learning environment for children and cultivate their study habits.
For a while, my family watched more TV, and xx watched more TV. Then I thought I couldn't do this anymore. So at this moment, my family learned to read, even if they didn't read, so xx also learned to read. Although the time is not long, the habit is gradually formed, and it would be better if it were accumulated bit by bit. As the saying goes, it is better to go to Wan Li Road than to study in thousands of books, so I will take my children out for a walk whenever I have time. Learning knowledge in nature can make them better understand. Although education experts don't recommend children to learn ancient poems of Tang poetry at such an early age, I think reading these poems can cultivate children's aesthetic feeling and sense of rhythm, although children still don't understand them. As for children's songs and music, it is certainly beneficial to watch and listen more. The point is that xx likes them very much. I think it is most important to cultivate interest.
Seven, cultivate children's masculinity, don't spoil children.
Xx's father is often in other places, and xx can't see his father many times a year, so as a mother, I should be a good mother and the protagonist of a good father. So I always want to cultivate xx's masculinity intentionally or unintentionally, but I spoil him and spoil him. For example, when xx falls, I never help him up. I always encourage him to fall and get up, and then pat him clean. If it's broken, even if it hurts, it won't show. Just tell him it's okay. So xx fell down at this moment. As long as it was not serious, he basically didn't cry, just comforted me and said, "Mom, I'm fine!" " "Although it seems that I am cold-blooded, I think I am doing the right thing, especially for a boy. I must cultivate his strong character and not be weak.
The above is my family education experience. Again, every child is an independent individual, so every child has his own unique personality. There is no universal education, only every parent keeps exploring and practicing in family education. Some people say that children are the second life of parents, and parents also grow up in the process of children's growth. Let's grow up with them!
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