Lanzhou: The end of the dream is the entrance to the sea.

Rejecting my parents' proposal to send me to college, I sent my luggage and came to this city, which is thousands of miles away from home and has a little Ye Gong complex. The underground passage of Lanzhou Railway Station is covered with tourist advertisements with northwest customs. I looked at the vastness of the desert, colorful Danxia and vicissitudes of grottoes, grinning: your favorite northwest, besides the scorching sun and sandstorm, has so many demagogic forces.

In fact, my first impression of Lanzhou is nothing more than the inland transportation hub in geography textbooks and the Silk Road in history textbooks. It's a Yellow River, a bowl of beef noodles and a scholar. But later I learned that Lanzhou is where Shen Shishu's whole faith lies. There is his northwest dream, his folk songs, his soul hometown and hotbed.

And I, because of a person, yearn for a city.

It was already eight o'clock in the morning when I arrived. The morning in Lanzhou came late. I broke into the lazy morning light without authorization and walked into the city with unspeakable feelings. Saw an unknown street with authentic beef noodles; I saw a swift river, which is the mother river I praised in my childhood composition; I saw an iron bridge across the north and south, and saw its hundred-year history. ...

I looked at this strange land in a hurry, as if trying to prove something, but I didn't seem to have it. Headphones are still listening to Lanzhou, Lanzhou for more than two years, but in a familiar melody, today and yesterday, staggered and dizzy.

two

In the second year of high school, the school held a welcome party for freshmen. Nan Shannan was not born at that time, and folk songs were not so widely sung. But that night, after the lively rock and handsome street dance, Shen Shishu quietly sang "Lanzhou, Lanzhou" and sang it to my heart.

Probably only at that age will we fall in love with someone easily because of a song.

That year, Uncle Shen was a senior in high school. one year older than me

I pay attention to all his social platforms, although almost all of them are about folk songs, about travel and about distant places. But I still try to collect all kinds of fragments related to him and try to piece together a relatively complete book "Shen Shi". Gradually, I know that he not only loves folk songs and travel, but also likes to read calligraphy, write beautiful articles and handsome small letters; He likes the massiness and vastness of the northwest and decided to go to Lanzhou since high school. He has a clean face and a beautiful guitar ... In the grade when boys are addicted to basketball and online games and girls are keen on dressing up and fantasy, Uncle Shen appeared in my life, and even his name is full of romanticism.

Near the college entrance examination, the school launched the "Helping the College Entrance Examination" activity. Each class in Grade Two is connected with a class in Grade Three, and the younger brothers and sisters write some words of blessing and encouragement to the younger sisters. When I saw that Uncle Shen's class was written at the back of his own class, I accepted this formal waste of labor without hesitation. Moreover, in order to give a few exclusive words to Uncle Shen without being noticed by myself, I actually spent a whole week at night writing a letter to everyone in Class 45.

At that time, I finally understood what it was like to have a thousand words, but I just couldn't say it. I thought about it for a long time, and finally wrote it down one by one: When I am tired of preparing for the exam, tell me about your Lanzhou.

In order not to waste my week's work, I thought hard that there would be a sequel to such a story. Those days were like a gamble, and all my feelings were abruptly put on the line.

He wrote back to me. Of course, many people in their class wrote back. When the monitor handed me a pile of various pieces of paper, I really trembled and dug out the light green stationery from a pile of "thank you":

I wonder what attracted me. The ancient heroism is still the slow pace of today, and the carefree lifestyle is still the straightforward western character. Anyway, every time I listen to Lanzhou and Lanzhou, I always feel that I belong to Lanzhou and I have to go back sooner or later.

After reading it, I changed the college entrance examination goal in the upper right corner of my desk from my seaside to his inland.

"Lanzhou always leaves in the early morning; Lanzhou, warm and drunk at night; Lanzhou, the endless Yellow River flows eastward; Lanzhou, the end of the dream is the entrance to the sea … "Some people say that the best way to ruin a song is to use it as an alarm clock. But no one knows that in the year of preparing for the exam in senior three, every sleepless morning, as long as the song "Lanzhou, Lanzhou" rings in a low voice, it is enough to light up my strength and mood all day.

At that time, I didn't dare to be arrogant, and I was inevitably inferior. I constantly deny myself and comfort myself. Every day, I look at the corner of the table and wait for a while, and then I continue to fight for victory.

That year, I seemed to have exhausted my life's heroism.

At the end of the college entrance examination, no matter whether the grades are good or bad, most of the students around me are rushing to fill in the volunteers of Beishangguang. On the admission list, I was the only one who chose Northwest China and Lanzhou.

At that time, my grades were enough to go to the best school in Lanzhou, but I took an oath and filled in all the blanks in the volunteer form, from one to three.

"Lanzhou Lanzhou, Lanzhou. Are you out of your mind? Is beef noodles so attractive? Or is your family heirloom buried in Lanzhou? Or do your ancestors' enemies live in Lanzhou? " My deskmate Bai Ze insisted that I send a screenshot of Zhang Zhiyuan. After reading it, I threw a few question marks.

Yes, even Bai Ze, a deskmate for two years, didn't know that Uncle Shen was my secret crush.

I just want to go to a lonely place and pay for my long-term secret love.

three

Probably because you are young, you can have unlimited possibilities, and there are always plenty of opportunities to realize your dreams. In 20 13, Shen Shishu graduated from high school and went to Lanzhou with an acoustic guitar in his backpack. In 20 14, I graduated from high school, and I had a uncle Shen in my heart and went to his university.

On the first day I arrived, I walked several streets in a city, so how much I expected it. I look at this completely strange land, at the people coming and going, where there is the purest sun and the most sincere smile, as well as the people I miss with my youth.

But at some point, I was a little confused. I fell in love with this city, whether I love me, my dog, or inseparable.

That ordinary afternoon, I sat in the dormitory for a whole afternoon. I don't know if I can't find an excuse to contact Uncle Shen, or if I am nervous and flustered at the moment. It's very late in the northwest, just as night falls, the cell phone rings suddenly, or Lanzhou, Lanzhou-

Hello, I'm Uncle Shen. I heard that you came to Lanzhou. Let's meet.

The voice is still gentle and pure, but it is enough to make me feel at a loss.

Under the ambiguous street lamp, the boys I looked up to and fantasized about countless times came slowly, and the girls around me were gentle and beautiful. He stopped in front of me, warm enough and distant enough, and said, "Little fellow, our head teacher called me and said that you were the only one in the whole grade who came to Lanzhou. Please let me know if you need help. "

I want to ask who the girl around you is. Do you remember me who wrote more than forty letters to your class before the college entrance examination? Are you free in Lanzhou? Are folk songs on the road ?.. But the phrase "little fellow villager" shattered all my desires to ask.

Yes, I am the only one in a grade who came to Lanzhou.

That night, I sat on a bench by the Yellow River. Behind me, the street was brightly lit. In front of me was the Yellow River flowing eastward, on the left was the domineering Zhongshan Bridge, and on the right was a bench in the air.

I don't listen to Miss Dong, and no stranger gave me a Lanzhou. I only bought two cans of Yellow River beer, because I believe that even if three people become tigers, it must be reasonable to drown their sorrows by drinking.

This song is still in my ear. Oh, it turns out that I have been deceiving myself and ignoring the other two sentences in that song: I didn't see the corner of the young plaid shirt raised again, and it began to rain quietly behind the White Pagoda. The Yellow River water that I didn't go to rippled in an instant, and you stayed up all night in the tall building thousands of miles away. ...

The night in Lanzhou is beautiful and lively. I thought I had walked into the city, but now I feel like a worthless bystander. I feel uncomfortable in my heart. I don't know whether I lost the person in my heart or myself who liked that person. Every time the northwest evening breeze blows, it is an empty echo.

The temperature difference in Lanzhou is very large. It's still scorching at noon, but the wind at night is a little cool. If I didn't have those two cans of Yellow River beer, I would definitely feel good. But at the moment, I'm just dizzy and cold. I clicked on the mobile phone map and found a lively place to warm up in Lanzhou.

Similar to what the book says, Lanzhou is a place where "no wine can make a table, no wine can make a river's lake". I think what I saw that day must be the Yellow River Beer Square. Thousands of plastic tables get together, boxing and drinking, chatting and bragging loudly, drinking like swords, shaking hands and swearing. This northwest city is full of a bold romanticism on this late summer night with alcohol rendering.

The first time I drank it, probably the whole person followed the rhythm, and suddenly I felt that I was also a knight on horseback, and I just put down an old story that was happy in the Jianghu.

four

That day I sat from the square until late at night, and then I went back to my campus, because I belong to my campus. Normal classes, call my mother after class, and stay in the library for a few hours.

Later, when I watched Gone with the Wind, I read a passage: I sewed a beautiful suit and fell in love with it. Later, Ashley rode his horse. He looks so beautiful and different, so I put that suit on him, whether it fits or not, and I don't want to see what it looks like. What I always liked was that beautiful suit, not him at all.

It suits me so well that I almost shed tears.

Maybe, as many books say, I just like myself. Playing the role of a director in a romantic fantasy, he always tries to write a beautiful script, shape a beautiful protagonist and all kinds of picturesque stories. It happened that he came at this time, so all the stories had a logical reason to start. Later, knowing that the story was lame, he chose to deceive himself, not because he wanted to act, but because he was used to being with his dreams.

At that moment, my little mood, which had been hidden for several years, suddenly relieved. I took out a corner hidden in the cupboard and wrote the last diary for him. Although there are only two sentences, I said goodbye to my past self-

Why mistake meeting by chance for destiny takes a hand?

five

Probably, Lanzhou is like the Yellow River passing through the city. You never know whether there is sediment, undercurrent or vortex under this seemingly calm river. Therefore, the story that is probably put in will always be full of mystery and confusion.

On April 201May 15/08, an earthquake with a magnitude of 4.5 occurred in Lintao County, Dingxi City, Gansu Province, and an earthquake with a magnitude of 5.8 occurred in Alashan Zuo Qi, Alashan League, Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region at15.39. I can also time the two news items I saw on April 15 to the minute, because Lanzhou is between the two places.

Our campus is far from the center of Lanzhou, so we felt a stronger earthquake than the urban area. At that time, I was holding the computer in the dormitory and tapping the real voice interview. The wooden bed above me suddenly shook. I took a reflexive look at my roommate who likes pranks, and found that she looked at me with the same stunned eyes, excluding roommates from making trouble and cars crashing into buildings. Only then did we realize the earthquake and hurried downstairs.

Aftershocks, big or small, shake our teaching building from time to time. The earthquake was not very big, but it was instantly swiped in the circle of friends, Weibo and space. Just when I was so bored that I wanted to worship the segment hand shaped by the earthquake, my mobile phone suddenly rang. Unexpectedly, it turned out to be Bai Ze, an old deskmate who had not contacted in the university for nearly a year.

"hello? Where are you now? Did the earthquake affect you? How about now? " He is still used to throwing a few question marks directly.

"Brother, only four or five earthquakes, you are more excited than me. As for Yao ... "I silently turned supercilious look in my mind.

"I didn't get through the first call, and I thought ..." Maybe the voices around me were a little noisy, or maybe I was just a little nervous and hallucinated. Bai Ze's voice reached my ear, a little choked up.

"You don't think I was killed, do you?" I put dirty eyes Ctrl+C+V at this end.

"I wish I were in Lanzhou. I'm afraid your pig is still sleeping under the covers after the earthquake. " Bai Ze ignored my teasing and said simply, "But I tell you, volunteering for the college entrance examination is just like playing me. The first three are from Lanzhou, and the first three are not accepted. Is it a pit? ! "

After the college entrance examination, he only told me that after I went to Jinan, there was nothing else. This is the first time I mentioned it. "What's the pit? You don't like the northwest very much anyway. "

"But I like you."

I haven't seen each other for more than a semester, and the old deskmate who destroys each other every day on weekdays suddenly said that I was standing in the northwest sun and hung up the phone at a loss for an instant.

Text messages will come soon, a few in a row:

Do you know it's impolite to hang up halfway?

I have followed almost everyone around you on QQ, WeChat and Weibo, and the whole world knows that I am watching you.

In fact, I am not afraid of the size of the earthquake. What I am afraid of is that even if the earthquake is not big, I am far away from you.

……

I never thought that such poetry and warmth came from Bai Ze, and the fragments of the past stumbled towards me. Perhaps, people who are far away from the mountain are too busy to take care of the shelter of nearby trees. However, just like when I was a child, the composition I worked so hard to write was torn by the teacher. Even if I remember the beginning and the process, I have no mood and strength to rewrite an ending.

"I'm ... sorry."

"I can wait."

six

"Lanzhou always leaves in the early morning; Lanzhou, warm and drunk at night; Lanzhou, the endless Yellow River flows eastward; Lanzhou, the end of the dream is the entrance to the sea ... "The song is still in my ear, but it took me two years to finally realize the meaning of this last sentence. Probably every understanding in this world is a story that varies from person to person. I used two beautiful dreams woven in the spring and autumn to come to an end in this city, but it is also here that a sea of long love tells me that he is always waiting for my entrance.

I'm not sure if it's emotion or emotion, and I don't know if it's a new dream. Many times, I look at the Yellow River with several characters on the map, one is Lanzhou and the other is Jinan. I don't know what the mother river can hold back. However, in this slow-paced land, some people are accustomed to such thinking and wait.

Unconsciously, it has been infiltrated by the rhythm of this city.

Shen Jiayin once wrote in his article: "Lanzhou has been a post station since ancient times, and people have been passing by: Huo Qubing's western expedition poked out Wuquan Mountain; Xuanzang sat on a sheepskin raft to learn from the scriptures and interpret the white horse waves; Genghis Khan died and buried the cenotaph in Xinglong Mountain ... "

Lanzhou, which has been regarded as a post station for generations, has become my second hometown. Once, I went to Lanzhou, Uncle Shen. It's just a stubborn trip for me. Now, it seems to be a rhythm that resonates with me, making me fall in love with it and stay.

Not busy for the trend, not isolated for remoteness, not carved for catering, not conservative for promotion, lively and quiet, exquisite and free and easy ... This is my Lanzhou. With its company, it seems that the details about youth are vivid and lovely for an instant, and even I have some yearning and obsession with the HarmonyOS system of porridge and rice on earth.

From then on, Lanzhou treated me and me.

I once dreamed that I was driving away my tears and rushing with the Yellow River. Passing through Lanzhou, passing through Jinan, stopped at the Yellow River estuary. There, Bai Ze giggled and told me that a sailor had been waiting here for a long time. As long as the captain comes, he will cross the ocean together.

When I woke up, the sun in Lanzhou was still hazy with tears. I smirked like him and said that I might set sail again the next morning.