Taking care of grandchildren in a son's house is sometimes worse than babysitting. Is it necessary to insist?

A grandson with a son is worse than a nanny. I don't think it's necessary to insist. First of all, it is not an obligation to take care of grandchildren. Never think that your grandson is your own, you should take your grandson with you. A sensible child can help. If you are treated as a person, you will have no minimum respect. If you continue, it is very likely that your grandson will be swept out of the house when you are old. You spend a lot of money and effort to treat you like a person, and when you get old, you will have more money. Never change people's hearts for each other's sake, abnormal morality will be destroyed once, creating an inhuman kind of good for evil. Poor bear the wind, finally cold heart tears dry. Look who is the head of the family now. The youngest is treasure and the biggest is grass. Therefore, parents in the world should not be stubborn, but plan for themselves and leave a beautiful old age for themselves. Don't be naive to think that raising children to prevent old age. Times have changed, and people's hearts are gone. What can we expect?

If a family puts the cart before the horse, regardless of age, and the villain is king, what can be expected? Your son and daughter-in-law take your suffering for granted, squeeze you dry and think you are thin. Is it still meaningful to pass this incense on? Think about it, children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren's blessings, so why do cattle and horses for their children? Right and wrong, from ancient times to the present, the sun and the moon compete for glory.

It is usually voluntary for an old man to take care of his grandson at his son's house. Considering the pressure of social competition, it is a happy thing to help children share the burden, but why are they ungrateful? Sometimes they are even worse than nannies. Is it necessary to insist? Don't blame all the mistakes on young people. You should also look at yourself. Is it because you have different views on children and different ways to take care of them? Or is there something else? Here are some reasons I think: First, there are different ways to raise children. Do you raise children according to the standards required by young people or according to your own old-fashioned methods? The living standard now is different from that in the past. Now some young people are very good at scientific parenting. Every meal should be cooked separately for the children. If the children are young, beef and lean meat should be chopped or broken by machine, and vegetables should be added (chopped) and cooked. If you don't feed your children like young people, you will feed your children in the same way, which will make young people uneasy. Even when they are at work, they are always worried that you can't take care of their children. In this way, if you don't invite your daughter-in-law, you won't thank you. Sometimes you are even worse than a nanny, and your son can't talk.

Second, don't compete to take care of the children. My next-door neighbor, the man is a software engineer and the woman is a nurse. Originally, the grandson was the mother of the girl, and the city people also paid great attention to taking care of the children. However, the rural mother-in-law feels that her son is not as good as a nanny, and she is uncomfortable and wants to take care of her grandson. The daughter-in-law will obey her wishes, but she will not take it for a month, which makes her very unhappy. Her mother-in-law said outside that she was worse than a nanny. The nurse beauty said that her mother-in-law couldn't take care of the children at all, and she had to chew everything in her mouth. It's so dirty and annoying I don't know if I put it in a pot for disinfection and cooking. I don't need to stab the fish with my hands, so I chew it with my mouth for the children to eat. As a result, the thorn pierced the child and almost caused a big accident. Since the girl's family can take it, let her take it. There is no need to argue. Compared with you, I naturally dislike you and ask for it.

Third, if your son doesn't make much money, you still like gambling. Almost all the expenses at home are paid by your wife. No matter how well you take care of the children and how clean the housework is, your daughter-in-law will still slap you. All this will be on you, even if you are not as good as a nanny. In this case, you are also responsible. Only stick to it, discipline your son well, don't gamble, and love this family.

Fourth, don't mind your own business. Some old people take care of their grandchildren at their sons' homes, while young people take care of everything. Everything should be self-centered. If you care too much, your daughter-in-law will feel uncomfortable. The man in the house is like a giant baby who will never grow up. Small families have no independent space, which will make the daughter-in-law very upset. No matter how much your grandchildren take care of you, your daughter-in-law will not respect you. It's best to take care of your own affairs and recruit people, and young people should handle their own affairs. Silence is golden, insist on bringing up Sun Xiu and never give up.

Summarize! It is to bring grandchildren to my son's house, which makes my daughter-in-law hate, even worse than a nanny. If you don't violate the above items, young people don't know how to be grateful, and they have to bear certain responsibilities, because your son grew up with you as an example and has been stereotyped, and there is no way to change it. Besides tolerating him, whether you insist or leave with humiliation depends on the seriousness of the plot. There is no certain formula. I feel worse than a nanny. Usually I compete with my daughter-in-law, and there is nothing wrong with my son and grandson. I have four aunts, and each aunt has a son. Several people sat down at the party and began to show off their daughter-in-law. Two of them are listening, and the main battlefield is the other two aunts.

It's just that I'm busy inside and outside every day, and I pay for them to come back and have food. When the daughter-in-law comes back for dinner, she puts away the dishes and plays with her mobile phone. I didn't tell her that I had worked hard, and I didn't have a good face. I didn't help clean my home. I'm a nanny myself, and I don't hang my face and ignore people every day.

If you ask her son why he doesn't help, my aunt must have a lot to say. My son worked hard at work and couldn't answer the phone when he came back. How did he have time to do this? My son works hard at work, and my daughter-in-law goes out to play at work. The root cause is still on yourself. If your son doesn't have a good education and his son doesn't care about you, who else can he expect to care about you?

My mother-in-law never thinks she is a nanny. Although I don't work, my husband loves my mother dearly. When he is free at home, he cooks, washes dishes, does housework, holds his mother's heels, cuts his nails, combs his hair and tells her that my mother's hair is much whiter. At home, he doesn't play mobile phone. He always sits next to her, chats with her and watches TV, and always enlightens her: "I'll do anything for you." Tell me if you have anything. She can do whatever she wants, not to mention her. " My mother-in-law smiles like a flower every day, saying that my son, daughter-in-law and grandson are all well, but I have done nothing.

It is said that most nannies still have problems with their education, and children never learn to appreciate you. Do you expect your daughter-in-law to be grateful when she arrives? The attitude of her daughter-in-law towards you is the attitude of your son towards you.

Actually, many families are like this. For example, after retirement, from the city where you live to the city where your son lives to help his son and daughter-in-law take care of their children, you will not only contribute money, but also suffer indignities.

Neighbor Kobayashi is a northerner and his daughter-in-law is a southerner. Both husband and wife are programmers of the best company in Shenzhen. Xiaolin is going to have a daughter-in-law in a month. She asked her mother to retire early and go back to Shenzhen to take care of her daughter-in-law. Xiaolin's mother, Aunt Li, works in a local hydropower company in the north. Although the salary is not high, the work is relatively easy, and a group of familiar old partners often get together and live a comfortable life.

Aunt Li, like Xiaolin, is an only child, and it doesn't matter whether the daughter-in-law wants children or not. But after Aunt Li came to Shenzhen, she felt particularly uncomfortable with life, especially the climate and diet, especially when she didn't get along well with her daughter-in-law. Her daughter-in-law doesn't like pasta, but likes to drink some soup and water, and she eats very lightly, which makes Aunt Li have a psychological shadow every time she cooks, and always fails to meet the standards of her daughter-in-law. Most importantly, the daughter-in-law always makes her son do housework, which makes her particularly uncomfortable. After the baby was born, there were more contradictions between them. Health habits and parenting concepts often conflict, leaving Xiao Lin caught in the middle and not knowing what to do. When she worked here, she went out early and came back late. When she comes back, she still has to deal with chicken feathers all over the house. Aunt Li's eyes hurt in her heart. But no matter how hard she tries, she can't meet the requirements of her daughter-in-law. Therefore, Aunt Li sometimes tears when she takes her grandson downstairs to play, and her daughter-in-law is not a bad person, that is, many things that everyone considers are not at the same level, which is caused by the difference between North and South and the knowledge structure.

Later, Aunt Li discussed with her son and daughter-in-law to let her in-laws take care of the children at their own expense. This will not delay my in-laws from working outside to earn money, and my grandson will give it to her without family conflicts. At least her son won't suffer at both ends.

Come to think of it carefully, when children get married, not only the girl leaves the family, but also the man leaves his own family to form his own small family. As parents, I really don't want to get involved in too many children's lives, but also keep a certain distance and try not to hurt children's feelings when I can solve problems with money.

My best friend, Lao Jin, just retired when his son fell in love, and marriage has not been put on the agenda. She said I would play hard for two years, and I couldn't leave until my son got married and had grandchildren.

She plays for half a year at most. We have a group of four. When we have time, we will make an appointment to upgrade together, have three batteries for 15 yuan, and sit together and talk about mutual losses. Six months later, her daughter-in-law became pregnant. The couple vacated their house, found a housekeeper to clean it for three days from beginning to end, let their son and daughter-in-law make a wedding room and rent a house by themselves.

Daughter-in-law's pregnancy is a big deal. Every night, she asks, "Yaya, what do you want to eat tomorrow morning?" Daughter-in-law Ya Ya is pregnant for three months: "Skim milk and McKee bread, kiwi fruit and walnuts, that's all." The son quickly added: "apples and grapes, vitamins can not be less, eating grapes baby eyes."

The next morning, Lao Jin got up at five o'clock, packed his things from home and arrived at his son at half past six on time. He heated the milk and bread, cut the fruit and put it on the table, quickly wiped the table and mopped the floor, turned on the washing machine to wash clothes, and watched his son help his daughter-in-law out for breakfast. The daughter-in-law said, "Aunt, come and eat!" "The son said," Stop yelling, my mother doesn't eat these. "

What can Lao Jin say? Married for more than a month, the daughter-in-law called aunt. If her son doesn't correct her, she can't chase people to call mom. Watching my son and daughter-in-law laugh while eating, I don't eat these. Who doesn't know how to eat well? I can't bear to eat them.

After breakfast, Lao Jin quickly asked for instructions on what to eat for lunch. Laojin hung up his clothes, and it was already half past nine. He rushed to the market to buy fish, chicken and fruit. One hundred dollars has not stopped, and the fruit has not been bought.

The couple walked around their son and daughter-in-law for nine months, looking at their fat grandson in vain. The couple laughed and became flowers, and the daughter-in-law made great contributions, adding a fat grandson to Lao Song's family.

Yue Yue was invited by Confucius, and Lao Jin thought that Yue Yue was the decoration of a rich man. She changed the baby's diaper and made milk powder and soup. Yue Yue is only responsible for chatting with Ya Ya, instructing Ya Ya to do aerobics like a gym coach, and talking about what Yue Yue can and can't eat like an expert. There shouldn't be too many Yue Yue. Yaya listened attentively and kept talking. After that, Ya Ya still likes to eat whatever she likes, and Lao Jin is willing to be busy and happy.

Ya Ya's confinement lasted for a whole year and a half, and Lao Jin waited for a year and a half step by step. Yaya said, "Mom, I'm going to work. If I don't go to work, I'll stay at home like a fool. You'll make me fat." Lao Jin said, "Go to work if you want, and I'll take care of the children."

Laojin took the initiative to take care of his grandson. Unexpectedly, Ya Ya said, "Mom, you can have it. Let's go to dinner after work, so you don't have to run back and forth. You are too tired. "

Laojin is so warm that he wants to cry. She runs at both ends and is really tired. She lost 30 pounds in more than a year, and her dream of losing weight for many years has finally come true.

Laojin returned to the rental house with his grandson. Her husband hasn't retired yet, and works part-time at night. His head is still on the mortgage. It seems that his son can't count on it

Laojin opened the era of bringing grandchildren, buying food, cooking and doing housework, and she sometimes thought; "This is a model of my son when I was a child. The difference is that I have to take my children to work, buy some food after work, and be busy with their housework. I just don't remember how I got here. "

Daughter-in-law loses weight, eats spicy fruit, eats pure lean meat, drinks eight yuan a bottle of Kunlun Mountain with water, and her son follows suit, drinking only mineral water and being picky about food when eating fruit. The baby has three cans of milk powder a month and more than 0 diapers a month 100. They don't mention it at all, let alone eat at home.

Laojin got up early when the child was sleeping, tidied up the house, took out the vegetables and meat he wanted to eat that day, took the time to pick and cut them, pricked up his ears and listened to the bedroom. The child began to hum and quickly put down his work. Lao Song came back to see his grandson first, and then she went to buy food. When she came back from shopping, Lao Song was so sleepy that he lost his eyes.

Laojin said: "Raising grandchildren is much more tiring than raising sons. My son can eat whatever he wants, and he is fed with milk, rice and soup. Now children are raised with imported milk powder and meat powder. In fact, I think it is better to drink fresh milk and eat fresh meat. "

My son and daughter-in-law are always busy eating dinner and working hard all day. Seeing the smell of their food, Lao Jin, who feeds the children, is also happy. It's just that odbo is in a hurry to eat, and he will take over after eating.

After dinner, my son plays games on the sofa, and my daughter-in-law chats in the bedroom, waiting for Laojin to feed her grandson. The couple came to hold them as toys, and Sankou smiled for a while. Yaya touched the baby's ass: "Mom, it's time for the baby to change diapers." Lao Jin came out of the kitchen, went to the bathroom to wash his hands and dry them, changed his baby grandson's diaper, and the young couple should go home.

At the end of last year, the old gold group shouted: "Sit down at the weekend. My son and daughter-in-law took their grandchildren back to their parents' home. "

We sat together, watching Lao Jin's tired appearance and complaining words. I advised her: "It will be much easier to send her to kindergarten when she is three years old next year."

Lao Jin said, "It's easy. My wife is pregnant with a second child."

Yesterday, Lao Jin said in the group: "My son bought a big house in Country Garden. He took me to have a look and said that my mother-in-law was going to retire and would come to live in Lanzhou. Convenient for the boss to pick up and drop off at school. "

Laojin and his wife earn money to take care of their children, thinking about saving some money and waiting for the house to be renovated, let alone saving money. The couple's salary plus the money rented by Lao Song is always spent in January, and it is not clear when they can save enough money for decoration.

Most of the post-80s and post-90s are only children, and both parents work hard for their children. Children's dedication to their parents is a habit, without gratitude and understanding. The speaker said: there is no responsibility to raise an adult, and raising a grandson is not a responsibility but an obligation. You can take it with you if you are happy, and you can take the couple to travel while you are young. Don't need to spend money and labor, but also look at their faces.

People who say this may not care about their children, but only themselves. The concept of China people, when they get old, will bring their grandchildren family happiness, and there is also a natural concept.

I know that taking a grandson is not even as good as a nanny. Nannies have holidays and wages, and they don't want to leave. Grandparents said they were afraid to leave without it.

Only when the grandson is older and doesn't need his grandparents, or the son and daughter-in-law think that the children should discipline themselves and send their grandparents home to support themselves, can they be released.

Children are suitable for grandparents to help before the age of three, and they should take care of themselves after the age of three. After all, grandparents use love to discipline their children, and a heart that hurts their grandchildren without a bottom line will also make children develop many bad habits.

When an old man, his son grows up, gets married, has a grandson, and no one takes care of the children. In today's society, most people who take care of children are old people. They try not to hire a nanny, so they are not at ease. Let their old people take care of their children, which is both worry-free and reassuring. Why not?

But old people sometimes not only have to take care of children, but also do housework, wash clothes, buy food and cook, and do everything when they have time. Even their own pensions should be subsidized to them. The old man has no complaints, but thinks that they are all his own children, mainly his son and wife. I can understand the difficulties of the elderly.

However, sometimes, if things don't suit your own wishes, the son will yell at his mother and the daughter-in-law will look at the old man's face. The old man will not taste in his heart, and he will cry silently. Sometimes he feels that sometimes even nannies are inferior. They call nannies aunts, and they pay attention to different names. Of course, they won't say that nannies do things, but it's different for the elderly. When will the son and daughter-in-law not treat the old man as an outsider? Have no external feelings for their children,

Although you are unhappy, you still go to see the children before they grow up. You should relax and be like a family. It will be fine if the child grows up. Hang in there!

If I get this treatment, my grandson will stop watching and turn around and leave. Looking after my son's grandson is a kind of help, not my necessary responsibility. But it won't happen in our house. It has been six years since my mother helped me look after our son and daughter.

First of all, my wife did a good job. My wife is very kind. She can really treat my mother like her own. She took my mother and children out shopping, went out for an outing, bought clothes for my mother and gave her pocket money. She shouted at her mother, and outsiders thought it was her daughter, not her daughter-in-law. My wife is also a thief. She knows one thing very well, and that is to treat my mother well, so she is very worry-free. . My wife and I are very busy at work. If it weren't for my mother's help, my wife and I would have resigned and taken care of the children at home. Nowadays, mortgage and car loan are secular, and a person's salary is simply not enough. Now with my mother's help, I don't have to think about it at all.

Secondly, my mother is also very satisfied. My mother is a typical rural woman. She is hardworking, kind and grateful. The wife really loves her, and the mother transforms this love into the child. Most of my wife's clothes are also washed by my mother. Mother keeps the house clean. As long as the wife works overtime, it is the mother who cooks. . In particular, my wife gave birth to a son, which is the hero of our family. My mother was really kind to my wife when she was pregnant. Moreover, the communication between two people is barrier-free and can be sincere. Even if there is a little friction occasionally, it is a one-step concession to prevent conflicts from intensifying.

Third, my son should be a good lubricant. If there is no spoon that doesn't touch the edge of the pot, eating in the pot will definitely spark for a long time. At this time, the son needs to adjust. My father is not used to city life. He likes his hometown in the country. After a long time, my mother will definitely miss my father, which conflicts with the nanny. Once I observe this sign, I will ask for leave immediately, send my mother back to my hometown for a few days, or secretly call my father to tell him that the child misses his grandfather and let him stay for a few days, or take my mother and children back to their hometown for one night on weekends.

Finally, I want to balance my wife's mentality and set a good example. One party pays unilaterally, which is called sacrifice. Every time you pay a little, you get a little less. When it runs out, it is an explosion. . So I will try my best to make my wife happy, occasionally create a little romance, buy some small gifts that she likes, and invite my wife and children to the newly opened restaurant to have a taste, so that she will be moved and satisfied. . Then I love my parents-in-law. To be a man, it is important to compare one's heart with another and repay one's kindness with good. During the Chinese New Year holiday, I will buy all kinds of gifts and wrap big red envelopes for my parents-in-law, although I know that my parents-in-law have everything. In this way, my wife is also very satisfied and willing to contribute to this family. .

In any case, learn to operate. Love is like this, and so is our family. Life will give us all kinds of problems, and we should try our best to hand in a qualified life answer sheet. It's up to you to choose whether to stick to it or not. I hope our family situation can give you some experience and help you. .

I feel inferior to a nanny when I bring my grandson to my son's house. Do you insist?

A: If you feel really miserable, then leave decisively. If you still feel inseparable and are still making a choice, then I advise you to change your mind.

Everything in the world depends on your own mentality. Do a miserable thing, but if you are willing and motivated, you won't feel miserable. A very happy thing, but you don't want to do it, even if you do it, you are not happy.

This is also the case. Your heart is very exclusive to taking care of children. You think you should take care of your grandson when you are old. Sometimes you will get a dirty look if you don't do well. Your son's daughter-in-law hasn't looked good yet. They stick to their grandchildren carefully all day and are not free. Nannies are still paid. They are busy all day, so they might as well be babysitters. If so, your heart is full of negative energy, and you will not be happy if you are killed.

On the other hand, I thought: I was willing to make any sacrifice for my son when I was a child. Why not now? In modern society, the pace of life is fast and children are under great pressure. If they don't help with their grandchildren, their daughter-in-law will have to take care of them by herself. Isn't the burden of life all on their son alone? Even if a nanny is hired, the son and daughter-in-law still have to pay extra money and take it with them. Isn't this money saved?

A person's growth experience has a period of time. Isn't it a blessing to spend this wonderful time with his lovely little grandson and enjoy teasing his grandson?

Everything has advantages and disadvantages. Looking at the problem from another angle will have different feelings. So if you are still in a dilemma, you may be able to get out of it by combing your emotions and changing your thinking. I no longer have the idea that I am not as good as a nanny. It is natural to stick to it and don't have to struggle.

I have seen a lot of disputes about online mother-in-law bringing children to daughter-in-law. Personally, I think it should be brought when physical ability permits!

I am a daughter-in-law, and I want to be a mother-in-law in the future! I remember when the child was young, she and her mother-in-law lived under the same roof. Every day after work, she will go to the kitchen to help fill the rice and serve the food ... otherwise, she will feed the children first, and then I will clean up the dishes after everyone has finished eating, and the in-laws will play with their sons!

I remember that once my in-laws went back to their hometown and their son was too young to take with them. I want my mother to take care of them for two days. My mother-in-law said, my own grandson, how can I bother others? Besides, your mother is alone and in poor health! Come on, your father and I will be back this afternoon!

Now my son goes to school outside, calls his grandparents every week, and goes home to put down his luggage to see his parents! Knowing that her son was going to have a holiday, her mother-in-law planned what to eat every day early. This feeling is really great!

Taking care of grandchildren in a son's house is sometimes worse than babysitting. Is it necessary to insist?

Now the duties of babysitters are standardized, and hourly workers are counted on time. Time is up, the task is over, the salary is settled, and people are free; Full-time nanny, such as cooking, taking care of children, taking care of the elderly, cleaning, etc. Before signing the contract, you have a clear responsibility, only do your own duty, and foreign affairs are either paid or impossible.

Old people go to their children's homes to take care of their grandchildren. As long as you go, you can say that you are not even as good as a nanny. That's probably the reason.

As long as you go, you are an all-weather, multifunctional, free and dedicated robot. Hard service is only a physical effort, which may be thankless and will be wronged psychologically.

This kind of thing is different from family to family. Do you think it is necessary to insist? No one can be your master!

You have to understand that persistence is family. Adhere to principles, love children, love grandchildren more, stress traditions, take the overall situation into consideration, be not afraid of condemnation, quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and take care of the elderly ... Any reason is enough to keep you going.

No, it's my job. If you don't insist, there is a saying that you don't insist. On the big side, there is no legal basis and no obligation; To tell the truth, I am old, and my physical condition does not allow me to work hard for most of my life. Now I should enjoy my life. Moreover, it has always been like this, giving birth to children by yourself and bringing up children by yourself ... for good reasons.

Whether you insist on doing it or not, the reason is here, depending on what you think and how you look at it. Choose when you think about it.

In my opinion, if economic conditions permit, you can spend money to hire a professional nanny or let your daughter-in-law resign and take care of the baby; Even if you are ready to stick to it, you should have principles and do something different. For example, in terms of time, it is necessary to specify when to bring it and return it when it expires; Tell them which part of your daily affairs you are mainly responsible for; As for the construction of your son's family, you should stay out of it. Don't say what you don't like, don't listen to what you don't like, and don't take it to heart, so as to maintain your independent personality and dignity.

Try not to be wronged for long.

My views are for reference only.