A collection of lines from classic film and television dramas?

Classic dialogue in the first season of ipartment (quite funny, and some words are quite philosophical, and some words are not rough)

1. You must call me online tonight, otherwise, I will write your name on the tablet.

2. Since ancient times, no one has died, and everyone has a morning and a night.

You are better than Jet Li and Donnie Yen!

How can you say that he is crazy? The premise of insanity is to have a brain.

5. Two heads are better than one, Zhuge Liang stinks.

6. Hard life needs no explanation!

7. Left eye jumps, peach blossoms bloom, right eye jumps, and chrysanthemums bloom.

8. I will definitely be cut into potato chips.

Let's face it, life is often much heavier than those idol dramas.

10. Help me cut the carrot into diced meat.

1 1. What's your status? You can have at most one ID card.

12. What's the difference between you and direct reincarnation?

13. Which is the turning point? It's obviously the breaking point.

"ipartment" Stills (6)

14. It's not terrible to die, it's terrible to wait and die.

16. You can escape the monk, but you can't escape the abbot.

17. Go into the hall, go out of the kitchen, kill Trojans, climb fences, drive cars, afford houses, fight for mistresses and beat hooligans.

18. This is the road to success, but it is still under construction. Remember to wear a helmet.

19. "It is the duty of every citizen to despise you."

20. Tell your unhappy things to make everyone happy.

2 1 .10,000 is the same as 1 million, because I don't have it!

22. Now all the performers are singing, those who can't sing are writing books, those who can't write books are acting, and those who can't play are singing. Showbiz is a circle.

23. If you don't play by common sense, Conan will be angry with Richard Moore if he is still alive.

24. Narcissism plus brain damage is self-mutilation!

25. My advantages are: I am handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

26. At least it's a man, who sounds like Xiao Shenyang.

27. From the Big Bang to the collapse of the universe, you can't find a bitch with thicker skin than you.

28. I'm really not a celebrity, I'm just a stream of people.

29. Be careful, I can rest assured. You are greedy, and I am worried. I'm glad you have a heart. You are a playboy, and I am disgusting. I'm sorry for your ingratitude.

30. If my relationship fails, it must be the other person lying on the ground.

3 1. As the saying goes, you are not afraid of opponents like tigers, but you are afraid of teammates like pigs.

If I don't punish you, you won't know that I am smart and brave.

You dare to say that you have a high IQ without even thinking straight.

34. If I can't grasp his pulse, I'll be a white-collar veterinarian.

35. We are ambitious young people, and we are about to fly our dreams in the streets on New Year's Eve.

36. I will spray you to death with a bite of salt and soda.

37. Fortunately, I am a professional.

38. Welcome to Your Moon My Heart. I am a good man, and I am Ceng Xiaoxian.

39. If you want to participate in the interaction, please call the hotline, but I may not answer it.

40. I curse you for eating instant noodles without seasoning packets all your life.

4 1. Get out of here at the speed of light!

42. 17 7,2748, Women's Day on March 8th, Labor Day on May 1st. ...

43. Chatting is not allowed in the work account. If you want to chat, each word is fifty cents, punctuation is half price, and there is a 20% discount for more than one thousand words. Voice and video have not been opened yet, so we can talk about it later. We will provide invoices for online payment. We are looking for an agent.

44.- Ceng Xiaoxian, do you play video games? -Occasionally.-Warcraft or Starcraft? -Even look!

It is God's business to forgive him. My duty is to send her to God.

46. Leftover women also have their advantages.

47.-hang it all, it's up to the owner to beat the dog! -That's right! ... huh?

48. I know what you want to say. Don't come to me. Then I will be quiet for a while. My heart is in a mess. I can't cry if I want to die. I don't know how to die, I might as well die. I should answer you that finding you is inevitable, because people all over the world are looking for you. You want to be quiet, I'm fine with it. It's normal for you to be sad, which means you are still alive. If you want to cry, my shoulder is free. If you want to die, I will never allow it.

1. At that time, the sky was still blue and the water was green. There is no bird flu in chickens and ducks, and pork can be safely eaten. At that time, you had to wear clothes to take pictures, and you had to pay back your debts. My mother-in-law married your daughter for no reason, and the father of the child ... is also very clear.

2. Yifei: I really want to put my size 37 shoes on your size 42 face now! A vegetable can speak better than you. Do you believe it or not? I'll plant you in a flowerpot now! !

3. Yifei: Zhan Bo and I used to be conjoined babies. Before we were two years old, our brains were still growing together. Fairy: Yes, and then the doctor gave it all to Zhan Bo with a sharp knife.

4. Yifei: Did your mother throw people away and raise the placenta when she gave birth to you?

5. Zi Qiao: That was when I was in high school. One day, I dreamed that I was taking an exam. Later, I suddenly woke up. Something even more terrible happened. It turns out that I am really taking an exam!

6. Wan Yu: Did you pass the GRE exam?

Passerby: I ... have no aunt.

Wan Yu: What about TOEFL?

Passerby: Thank who?

7. Zhanbo: Sister, if someone hurts you deeply, how long will it take you to forgive him?

Yifei: Forgive him? Forgiving him is God's business. My task is to send him to God!

8. Meijia: My period came early to see me. My waist hurts, and my stomach is very uncomfortable now.

Guangu: Meijia, your period is really good for you. Otherwise, she will sleep in my room and I will sleep on the sofa today.

Wan Yu: Guangu, the period you mentioned is different from what she said.

Guangu: Oh, does Meijia have many menstrual periods? Your grandmother is really fertile. I only have one, but I have three young aunts!

9. Wan Yu: Ugly, but ugly is special, that is, very ugly!

10, Yifei: Never mind, failure is success.

Zhanbo: I already have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant.

1 1, Yifei: I don't care whether I write poetry or not, it's nonsense, smelly and long. As a result, the estrogen finally stimulated by girls suddenly turned into cholesterol.

12, Guangu: It's so touching ... The little dragon girl is really beautiful ... but Yang Guo doesn't know how to cherish it. He only has an aunt in his heart!

Zhan Bo: Well, Little Dragon Girl ... is his aunt.

Guan Gu (surprised): Ah! It's so sinful. Is it okay for Yang Guo to do this?

Zhan Bo: Er ... to be exact, there is no such thing as an uncle.

Guangu: Oh, my God! Then Yang Guo ... became his uncle! ! The little dragon girl ... became her niece! !

13, Ceng Xiaoxian: Hello everyone, I am your new Xiaoxian and good friend. ...

14, Meijia: Look at your big face. Every time I stand next to you, my cell phone has no signal, and I can't see the sun when I walk on the road!

Zi Qiao: Did you get your head squeezed by the door? You dinosaur that degenerates three times a day!

15, Yifei: If you are the standard, Wan Yu and Qitian Sheng Da are basically on the same level.

Zhan Bo: What about me?

Yifei: What's your name with the old man who ... put the monkey in the blast furnace?

Zhanbo: Too old gentleman! !

Yifei: Yes, yes, you are basically the same level as the coal ash in Taishang Laojun's blast furnace!

16, Zi Qiao: Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you!

Zi Qiao: Ten thousand is the same as one million, because I have no money!

18, Xiao Bo: divorced for three years, son half a year old.

19, Zi Qiao: I also want to find a place where I can print my head on the money.

Meijia: It's not difficult. Why don't you find a place to print money?

20. Zhanbo: Sister, have you ever had a dog?

Yifei: No, but ... I raised you. I used to keep many animals, such as birds, rabbits, fish, squirrels and rich trees. Within three days ... they were all dead. Zhan Bo, you are so lucky!

2 1, Wan Yu: Dog biscuits are rich in conditioner and anti-dandruff formula. After eating them, the hair disappears without a trace and dandruff is more prominent!

22. Guan Gu (singing): Long Long, you are two years behind, and you will always be two years behind. ...

Guan Gu (singing): I'm not a locust, I'm not a centipede, I just want a cheap brother and perfect love. ...

23, riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but also a Tang priest …

It is not necessarily a monk who can burn incense, but also a panda …

Those who have tattoos are not necessarily bad people, but those who are willing to be Yue Fei ~

Passerby: I'll make a long story short. It's a long story

Passerby: I fell in love with my colleague.

Passerby: But I didn't tell him.

Passerby: I told my colleague Hao.

Passerby: Hao promised not to tell anyone.

Passerby: But my colleague Ade told me.

Passerby: A Hao secretly told another colleague, Alin.

Passerby: Alin is familiar with Archie's ex-girlfriend Allen again.

Passerby: I'm afraid Alin will tell Allen.

Passerby: Then Allen went back and told A Zhi.

Passerby: Then I'm embarrassed.

Passerby: Fortunately, Allen is in love with Ade now.

Passerby: So I went to Ade to help me solve this problem.

Passerby: Ed told me that Allen and he had broken up.

Passerby: He is dating Alin now. Let me find Arlene.

Passerby: But Alin told me that A Hao actually said nothing to him.

Passerby: Now I'm dizzy. Who should I trust?

Ceng Xiaoxian: A Ou.

Passerby: I'm talking about A Zhi, not Ou. He is my colleague from another department.

Passerby: A Ou is Alin's younger brother.

Passerby: But I can't tell him that the person I like is the ex-boyfriend of your brother's girlfriend.

Passerby: This will make the relationship more chaotic.

Ceng Xiaoxian: Aqiao.

Passerby: t?

Passerby: How do you know that there is another colleague named T in our company?

Passerby: He bears a grudge against Alin, probably because he has a crush on Allen.

Passerby: But T and A Hao have a good relationship.

25. Guangu: Honey, what shall we eat today?

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: Shall we eat hot pot?

Xiaoxue: No, you will get pimples on your face if you eat hot pot.

Guangu: How about Sichuan food?

Xiaoxue: I just ate Sichuan food yesterday. What about today?

Guangu: Shall we eat seafood?

Xiaoxue: The seafood is not good, and it will cause diarrhea.

Guangu: What did you say you wanted to eat?

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guan Gu: E! ~ ~ ~ Then let's stop eating and do something else.

Xiaoxue: Anything will do.

Guangu: Then let's watch a movie. I haven't seen a movie for a long time.

Xiaoxue: What's interesting about movies? This is a delay.

Guangu: How about bowling? Exercise. Exercise.

Xiaoxue: What's your luck on a hot day? Aren't you tired?

Guan Gu: O! ~ ~ ~ ~ Then let's have some more coffee.

Xiaoxue: Eh ~ ~ ~ Drinking coffee affects sleep.

Guangu: Then what do you want?

Xiaoxue: Anything will do.

Guangu: Then let's go home.

Xiaoxue: (smiling, then taking the bag) Look at you.

Guangu: We'll take the bus and I'll walk you.

Xiaoxue: The bus is dirty and crowded. Forget it.

Guangu: How about taking a taxi?

Xiaoxue: It's not cost-effective to walk such a short distance.

Guangu: Let's go. Let's go for a walk.

Xiaoxue: What way are you going with an empty stomach?

Guangu: Then what do you want?

Xiaoxue: Look at you.

Guangu: Let's eat first.

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: What to eat?

Xiaoxue: Anything will do.

Guangu: ~! # #

26. Bus Master (to Zhan Bo): You are not normal. You either swipe your card, put in coins, or get out of here. What are you twisting?

Bus master (to bodyguard): Hey, come back! Either swipe your card, put in a coin or get out. what are you reading? (Bodyguard gets off the bus) You can't afford a car, and you pretend to be the matrix, huh!

27. Xiaoxian: Xiaoxian has such a roommate. He lives in two suites in the same apartment with a girl. Unfortunately, one always turns left, and the other always ... takes the elevator.

28. Meijia: Why don't you learn from Wu Sangui? To be a man, you should know how to bear the burden of humiliation. Joe: It depends on who is right. He is Chen Yuanyuan Meijia: What's the big deal? My surname is Chen: Chen Yuanyuan, you (aiming at the chest), Chen ~ ~ 29,: People use eight words to describe her: quiet as a virgin, moving.

30. Zi Qiao: Your eyes are clear and moving, your hands are tender and delicate, and your heart is crystal clear;

Meijia: Your arms are strong, your breasts are broad and mighty, and your skin is impeccable. ...

3 1, Zhanbo: Let's start with five copies of Rape Chicken Rice Flower!

Wan Yu (to the waiter): Then we'll have five copies of Rape and Chicken Rice Flower.

Yifei: Two prodigies. They are "awesome".

Zhanbo: Oh, really, changed its name?

32. Guangu: Isn't The Promise a romantic film?

Zi Qiao: Ha! I can't understand the movie at first sight! ... The Promise is a horror movie!

Lisa: It's you! Ceng Xiaoxian!

Ceng Xiaoxian: You know me?

Lisa: My classmate's cousin's neighbor and your brother-in-law's cousin are in-laws!

Lisa: (pointing to Ceng Xiaoxian's face) It's not the software. You should change the monitor!

34. Yifei: Tell your unhappy things to make everyone happy.

35. Passers-by: Eat biscuits and beer covers, eat wonton and moth balls, shoot flies and nail nails, and go to Qingsongguan to burn incense. The mobile phone fell into the merit box and could not be taken out.

36. Sister Flash: I'll introduce you to a professional breast enhancement agency. Many Korean stars have done it there. What kind of gold laundry, river show, stuffy car.

37. Sister Flash: In my eyes, there are only two kinds of people, one will be red and the other will never be red. Where are you in this pile?

Zi Qiao: I ...

Sister Flash: You are nothing, because you have never been in my eyes.

38. Sister Flash: There is not enough money, the actors are undecided, and the script is temporarily unavailable.

39. Zi Qiao: Huh? This cup has no mouth!

Meijia: You said it backwards.

Zi Qiao (turning over a cup): Not only does it have no mouth, but it also has no bottom.

40. Yifei: You are shameless, mean and unreliable!

Zi Qiao: So you are not shameless, mean and very reliable?

Yifei: I'm shameless, mean and unreliable! ?

Zi Qiao: You are not shameless, despicable and reliable! ?

Yifei: I am shameless, despicable and unreliable, and I will not be more shameless, despicable and unreliable than you! !

4 1, Zi Qiao: How do I feel that the one you are going to is just "there are no birds in a hundred mountains, and there are no footprints in a thousand paths" 42. Zi Qiao: I allow you to enter my world, but you will never be allowed to walk around in my world! 43. Yifei: "Beauty is in the eye of the lover, so what about beauty?"

Xiaoxian: "Eye drops." 44. Guangu: I used to think that you people in China were very modest, but now I find that this is not the case. Every day on the road, I see you writing about China, China people, China agriculture, China industry and commerce and Guangdong development. I know you are good in many ways now! But it doesn't have to be written everywhere, does it?

Ipartment landlord rule

1. A pair of QQ can't beat 745 because QQ is only 30,000 to 40,000, but BMW 745 is very expensive.

2. The bomb can't hit 1 19 because the fire brigade can put out the fire. ...

3. Your Majesty doesn't play 9 1 1 much because the FBI in the United States is very powerful.

4. Straight flush can't beat four-color cards, because it is better to be colorful than to stand out from the crowd.

5. Congratulations on getting 1258 1. China Mobile touches itself for free.

6. Girls will be congratulated for taking 3 or 8 exams. Stop shopping once because of the holiday.

10. Get 5. 1 10. 1. Stop playing cards because of national holidays. You must call me online tonight, otherwise, I will write your name on the tablet.

2. Since ancient times, no one has died, and everyone has a morning and a night. You are better than Jet Li and Donnie Yen!

How can you say that he is crazy? Only if you have a brain.

5. Two heads are better than one, Zhuge Liang stinks.

6. I'm Zeng Ge. I told you, believe me, believe me ... 7. Opportunities rained on me, but I dodged them one by one.

8. A good man is me, and I am Ceng Xiaoxian ~

9. Hard life needs no explanation!

10. Q: What are the four sentences that Friar Sand said the most in Journey to the West?

Answer: 1, big brother, the master was taken away by the monster.

2, eldest brother, second brother was taken away by the devil.

3. Big Brother, Master, and Second Brother have been taken away by monsters.

4. Second brother, the master was taken away by the monster. Love apartment 2 hilarious lines (2)

1 1. Life is like a play, one is in love, the other is married and has children. This is normal.

12. Left eye jump, peach blossom, right eye jump, chrysanthemum blossom.

13. I will definitely be cut into potato chips. 14. Let's face it, life is often much heavier than those idol dramas.

15. Help me cut the carrot into diced meat!

16. If you have an identity, you have an ID card.

17. You talk to them until midnight every day. How can they have time to create human beings?

18. Bet me that it's not what you want, but what I have. ...

19. Spitting is used to count money, not to make sense.

20. What's the difference between you and direct reincarnation? ! Love apartment 2 hilarious lines (3)

2 1. You can escape the monk, but you can't escape the abbot.

22. Don't be infatuated with me, I'm not just a legend.

23. What she wants to cook is not a dish, but a wife. 24. Go into the hall, go out of the kitchen, kill Trojans, climb fences, drive cars, afford houses, fight for mistresses and beat hooligans. ...

The difference between him and a pig is that a pig can't become a man, but he will become a pig from time to time.

26. I'm not a celebrity, I'm a celebrity!

27. What's your seat? I am made of meat.

28. There is a thrilling flying chess game called the king of party games.

29. If an official is not the master for the people, it is better to go home and sell sweet potatoes!

30. There are worms in vegetables and iron wires in vermicelli. Love apartment 2 hilarious lines (4)

3 1. Ceng Xiaoxian, you are a man. What excites you should be the devil's figure, not the devil's stepmother!

32. Fairy: No, there are only 24 episodes of the devil's stepmother.

Guangu: But you have seen 40 episodes of Where Is My Mom Going, 80 episodes of Don't Cry After Divorce, and 160 episodes of Being a Daughter-in-law. Congratulations, you have experienced a woman's life! 33. It's up to me to agree or disagree. If there is any objection, she has the final decision.

34. Q: A turtle got out of its shell, took the shell apart, made a new one, and then got into it to live and get health care products.

A: Calcium in calcium.

One more question: The tortoise drills out its shell, tears it off and builds a new one, and then gets in to play with a health care product.

A: The new cover is on the middle cover.

One more question: the tortoise once again drilled out its shell, tore it off and covered it again, and then got in and played with a health care product.

Answer again: giant calcium

35. It's freezing for three feet. It's a microwave oven!

36. People are born to live, and the rest are just clouds. Paying the second loan means having a mortgage and a car loan. 37. Close the door and let Xiaoxian go.

38. Hu Yifei: Are you really related by blood?

Tang Youyou: Really, I'm the 13th fucking sister.

Zi Qiao: She is really my mother's thirteenth sister, although I hate to admit it.

Tang Youyou: But I will always be your little period, be good ~

Fairy: Your mother is really something.

Yifei: What a fucking evil thing!

Who the fuck is it?

39. I prefer pigs to people. Pigs are always pigs, and people are sometimes not people.

40. A computer without internet is like a bird without wings and a Wukong without a golden hoop. Love apartment 2 hilarious lines (5)

4 1. Pure men? Isn't there only one man in China?

42. When you fall down with only one drop of blood, call Brother Zeng three times to come back to life. 43. Tigers don't send cats. Do you think I'm dying?

44. Listen to other people's stories and shed your own tears.

45. People will play many roles in their life. If you are not happy, you can throw away the script. But remember, there is a script that really belongs to you. Don't lose it.

46. Yifei: Hey! Are there any white boys in our family during the Spring Festival Gala?

Yumo: Your little white?

Yifei: White. 47. Xiaoxian: Be careful, I can rest assured. You are greedy, and I am worried. I'm glad you have a heart. You are a playboy, and I am disgusting. I'm sorry for your ingratitude. Bless all my heart, your moon, my heart, and the Spring Festival blessing is sincere.

48. Yifei: At least it's a man, who sounds like a little Shenyang.

49. Yifei: Now all the performers are singing, those who can't sing are writing books, those who can't write books are acting, and those who can't act are singing again. Showbiz is a circle!

50. xian: the bachelor's degree and master's degree are all destroyed, and the male doctor can only protect himself. To win a female doctor, well, it's up to a saint. Love apartment 2 hilarious lines (6)

5 1. LAM Raymond: Hello! What is this?

Yumo: Eight! It's just a little missing.

52. Youyou: What's the saying? A gentleman can flex. 53. Youyou: Do you know what is the greatest pain in life? Is to sit next to you and you don't know it.

Youyou: Do you know what is the greatest pain in life? Is that you already know the secret, but you can't tell it.

54. Yumo: You really should put a toilet in your head to wash away all the disgusting things.

Yifei: Then his brain was completely cleaned.

55. Fairy: Don't you always put the connotation of men first?

Yifei: That's for those who don't have big heads.

56. Xiaoxian: Ask questions! Tell me about Liu's Taoyuan vows. Who did you give it to?

Yifei: Tianhou? Emperor Yan and Huang?

Youyou: For ... peaches, of course!

Guan Gu: It should be Mr. Guan. 57. Dean: I feel a little familiar now.

Yifei: This ... is probably because all caring people have a good face!

58. Mo Yu: There is no UPUP breast enhancement campaign at all. I made it up. If you really need it, the silicone pad is king.

59. Xiaoxian: Chewing gum ... It is rumored on the Internet that if you eat five pieces together, you can feel full by chewing, and the most important thing is that you won't get fat, which is most suitable for people who are lovelorn!

60. Fairy: Yumo, let me remind you that if the key is broken inside, you can give up the right to use the house and the car at the same time. Love Apartment 2 hilarious lines (7)

6 1. Zi Qiao: I'm afraid of you. I tell you, my major in college is-knowledge.

62. Youyou: Correct! ABCDEFG, there are ***26 English letters in total. How many letters are left after ET left?

Yifei: 24.

Youyou: Give you another chance.

Yifei: Wait, I see, 2 1. Because ET is an alien, he also took a UFO! 63. Youyou: Correct answer. One thing in Sekitani Kamiki is longer than all the boys here. What is this?

Yifei: Give me a hint!

Youyou: Anyway, it is long, definitely longer than Ceng Laoshi and Zi Qiao, and Zhang Wei's is the shortest.

Yifei: I ... I don't know how to say it!

Youyou: Sister Yifei, it's a name, a name.

64. Zhang Wei: Quasi-lawyers are also lawyers. Aren't rotten eggs eggs?

Zi Qiao: "Helping others" and "having fun" are not in conflict.

66. Youyou:

Down's performance rule one: don't give up the right to speak to your opponent. You must get more lines for yourself. The play was stolen.

Donne's performance rule 2: Never let the audience guess the development of the plot.

Rule 3 of Down's Performance: Create a sufficient background for the story, preferably involving the grievances of two generations.

Donne's performance rule 40: The audience will always expect more tangled character relationships and more interesting plots. 67. Yumo: Excuse me, what do you do?

Zi Qiao: I am ... I am a "maker".

68. Zi Qiao: As the saying goes, money makes the mare go.

69. Guangu: I know you know others don't know you know, but I have seen your performance before, so you should know that I know you know.

70. Zhang Wei: My advantages are: handsome; But my shortcoming is that I am not handsome.

Ps: If you haven't finished watching Love Apartment 2, you can stop when you see 19, because after watching 20 episodes, you will feel inexplicably uncomfortable.