How do some people feel about being a perfect mother?

This problem can be analyzed from three aspects:

First, we need to define the "perfect mother". How did this perfect mother build herself up to perfection? Or are you too perfect for other people’s requirements? Let’s talk about the former first, a mother who has built herself up perfectly. What are the characteristics of such a mother? She is confident and optimistic, has an outstanding temperament, has a broad vision, and is well-rounded. If I give you an example, let’s take a look at Sun Li.

In fact, for such a mother, since she places orders for her life with the pursuit of perfection, her three views, her knowledge, and her mind will definitely not be lost to everyone. So, she is In the process of parenting, the subtle influence on children must be beautiful and positive.

Let’s talk about the latter, the mother who demands perfection from others. In fact, such mothers are common around us. You will see that their life status has almost stopped growing. Some stay-at-home mothers spend their daily lives immersed in vegetable markets, TV series, and mahjong tables. Some working mothers are passive and slow at work. Go home and watch TV dramas on Taobao. However, what is even more tragic is that they bet their ideal of "pursuing perfection" on others.

Therefore, they often compare husbands, children, wealth, etc. in various social situations to obtain self-suggestions of "perfect life".

Even if such a "perfect mother" raises an ideal "achieving" child, the child's rapid growth is largely forced, and the child's heart will always be contradictory. Why does the mother no longer Growth keeps forcing me to move forward? As adults, once these children lose their mother's encouragement, they will lose their direction in life, quickly stagnate, and fall into the reincarnation of their original family.

Secondly, what is the standard for a “good mother”? Is this a label given to us by others, or a label given to us by our children? For someone who wants to be a good mother, if she doesn’t even understand this standard and rashly takes “good mother” as her only goal in raising children, what awaits her may be repeated frustrations, even depression and irritability, and she will eventually completely deny herself. of parenting value.

In my opinion, 80% of the label "good mother" is evaluated by our children, and the remaining 20% ??is the feedback from family, lovers, society, education system, etc. Be able to assess the situation, keep pace with the times, look at the child's growth with a mentality that keeps up with scientific development, give the child maternal love without any impurities, and respect the individual independence of natural life, so that the child can bravely explore the unknown world and at the same time, his heart I can steadily feel the support and affirmation of my mother by my side. I believe that such children have a high evaluation of their mother that cannot be summed up by the words "good mother".

Finally, I want to talk about the word "ideal baby". There are a thousand Hamlets for a thousand people, thousands of faces, and thousands of dreams. So the "ideal baby" can only be a matter of opinion and wisdom. Guo Degang said, "Don't use your own map to follow other people's paths." We cannot use other people's ideals to set goals for our children, let alone use our own ideals to plan the path for our children.

If I had to define an "ideal baby", I would come up with this sentence - "He can live what he wants to be, can grow freely, and can take whatever he likes into his life." If you use things as food, you don’t have to be burdened by the world, and you can sleep until you wake up naturally every day.”

Such a child may only exist in ideals, but if every mother can do it. Looking at children from this perspective, I think children will reduce a lot of unnecessary harm and avoid many things that are counterproductive. The children will experience a warm childhood, a happy childhood, a teenager with an interesting attitude, and a determined and optimistic youth. When she grows into the most ideal state in her heart, she will give her mother a label in her heart—my, only, and perfect mother.

Above.

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