Attack the heart and conquer your in-laws easily.

1, coquetry, makes her mother-in-law feel the difference in eating habits between "affirmation" and "need", which makes it difficult for Fan Ma to fully accept her mother-in-law's cooking, but there is a favorite "rice crust porridge" in her hometown, and Fan Ma drinks two bowls every time. "Mom, rice crust porridge is so delicious. Shall we eat rice crust porridge tonight? " Fan Ma shook her mother-in-law's arm in a coquetry way, and her mother-in-law said with a smile, "Well, we Yaner want to eat rice crust porridge, and the requirements are not high." When the rice crust porridge was ready, her mother-in-law also announced, "Let Yaner drink first." Fan Ma knew that what she saw at this time was her mother-in-law's favorite thing, so she didn't shirk it. Sometimes my in-laws say nice things and leave my mother behind. I will definitely jump out and take the blame for myself. "Have a daughter-in-law! How can such a daughter-in-law give me the cold shoulder? ! "My mother-in-law patted Fan Ma's hand and said," Yes, yes, I have a daughter-in-law! " So a thing that would have made many daughters-in-law feel lost was successfully resolved in every mother's "Chen Jiao". The effect of this move: it not only satisfies every mother's greed and resentment, but also realizes her mother-in-law's psychological needs of "being affirmed and needed", making her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law very happy. 2. Listen and remember the hard work of your parents-in-law with your father-in-law. In the small mountain village in the 1960s and 1970s, the in-laws had to raise four daughters and a son, as well as an elderly mother and a minor brother. The burden of family is on my father-in-law's thin shoulders. Every time I think of the hard life in the past, my expression is very dignified. At this time, Fan Ma chose to be a devout listener and lamented the hardships of life with the words recalled by her father-in-law. Time and time again, every time I hear Fan Ma's eyes full of tears, I sincerely say to my father-in-law, "It's really not easy for you and your mother. At that time, it was really not easy to get all four daughters' accounts and give up a college student! "Then look at the beautiful life with my father-in-law: you see how filial my son and daughter are, how satisfied my daughter-in-law is, and how good my grandson is. The effect of this move: if the father-in-law wants to talk, every mother likes to listen to the "past", and everyone is happy if one is willing to say something that he wants to listen to. 3, empathy, affirmation in-laws idea is normal, in fact, like many grandparents, in-laws also have a certain "son preference" thought. When I was pregnant, my grandparents said, "Boys and girls are all the same." My mother said, "Mom and Dad, it is normal for you to have sons and want grandchildren. I can understand your feeling. Although several sisters have sons, you still want grandchildren. " Then I told my parents-in-law: It's anybody's guess to have a boy or a girl, but it's no exaggeration for my parents-in-law to want to have their own grandchildren. After all, my husband is the only child in the family, and I care very much. If I were in my in-laws' age and environment, I might be equally eager for my son. The effect of this move: empathy has a miraculous effect in getting along with people. If you think about a problem from the other side's standpoint and angle, if you don't understand it, it will become understanding. If you understand it, there will be no contradiction. 4, appreciation, in-laws have valuable experience gained from decades of life experience. Every mother is ungrateful when she gets along with her in-laws. On one occasion, Fan Ma took Christine to her hometown to live with her in-laws for a period of time. Because my father-in-law likes to eat northern jiaozi, Fan Ma wants to pack more and put them in the refrigerator before returning to Qingdao, which is convenient for my father-in-law to satisfy his hunger. When preparing the stuffing, Fan Ma just wants to rinse it with water. My mother-in-law insists on peeling one layer at a time. At that time, Fan Ma thought, "Isn't it necessary?" Unexpectedly, a cabbage caterpillar was actually peeled. Fan Ma was surprised and praised her mother-in-law for her wise decision: Mom, if you don't listen to the old man, you will be cheated. If you don't insist on peeling it off, we'll eat worms today! Mother-in-law is naturally happy, and I really speak from the heart! The effect of this move: a big truth made her mother-in-law smile, and every mother truly realized the old saying "Don't listen to the old man, be deceived"! 5. Be considerate and keep in mind the needs of in-laws. My father-in-law has bad teeth and likes to eat rotten vegetables. On the contrary, my mother likes to eat crisp and tough dishes. Is this a contradiction? No, it isn't. Fan Ma thought of a solution. Every time she cooks until it is crisp, she will take out half a bowl for herself and stew the rest for her father-in-law for a while. In-laws don't like triangle shorts worn by young people, and loose boxers that old people like are not very common in shopping malls here in Qingdao. I happened to find these shorts in a roadside shop when I was on the bus, so I bought three pairs for my in-laws. In-laws say "it will cost money again", but their happiness is written on their faces. One Spring Festival, my husband and I went out to buy new year's goods. I happened to see an old-fashioned monthly card. My mother bought one, and my father was puzzled, and my mother didn't explain it. When I took it home, my in-laws took a look and hung it on the bedside. As I watched it, I said, "Yaner still knows the old man's mind." My mother-in-law has high blood pressure. Once I saw a recipe of steamed lotus root with white sesame seeds and rock sugar on TV, and Fan Ma steamed a plate of lotus root for her mother-in-law as a snack every afternoon. Maybe I'm in a good mood, or maybe the folk prescription is really effective. Mother-in-law's blood pressure has been stable in Qingdao for half a year. My mother-in-law and I went out to buy food arm in arm. Everyone I met said, "Your daughter-in-law is really nice." Mother-in-law also unceremoniously "sells melons", but Fan Ma was embarrassed. "Mom, don't tell anyone that your daughter-in-law is good, and people will laugh at you." My mother-in-law said happily, "It's just good." The effect of this trick: see the truth in detail, the truth that is universally applicable! 6, tricks, treat the elderly as their own children, treat the elderly as their own children, this is a trick in the way of getting along with the elderly, if you can treat your in-laws as your own children, then nothing is incomprehensible, nothing will be contradictory. Fan Ma is the kind of person who looks like a neat freak. Before becoming a mother, she vomited when she saw someone spitting on the road. When she became a mother, it was different. She can study Christine's poop as a "scientific research topic". So when Fan Ma took her father-in-law's underwear stained with blood because of hemorrhoids to clean it, facing her father-in-law's embarrassment and her mother-in-law's obstruction, Fan Ma said, "You wash it for us and I'll wash it for you." There is also a saying, "What is dirty? Even if the clothes are smelly, the washing is different. " Compared with my mother-in-law, it is actually more difficult to get along with my father-in-law. Perhaps because of physical reasons, my father-in-law is very sensitive. A casual sentence will make my father-in-law think for a long time, thinking about whether to tell him, and sometimes he will hide away and wipe his tears. On the eve of National Day, my father-in-law got worse and suffered a car accident. The double blow made the father-in-law completely unable to take care of himself. When every mother can help her father-in-law clean the toilet like a daughter, her in-laws say, in fact, no matter how good a son is, he can't do without a good wife. Every mother knows that her in-laws are sure of this daughter-in-law who can't be filial in front of her. The effect of this move: in fact, the elderly are the same as children. They need you to spend more time with them, and they need your "never leave". You can chat with them in your spare time, rub your shoulders, wash your feet, cut your nails and listen to their nagging about the past. They will unconsciously improve their understanding of each other. If they know more, there will be fewer contradictions, and even if there are occasional differences, they will quickly resolve them. 6 Plan to conquer your in-laws easily 2 1 Whether you can listen or not, pay attention to what you say to your in-laws, and try to listen whether you can listen or not. Insist on listening to their jokes and stories, so that parents-in-law have a stage to show. Don't show your boredom, or worse, go on holiday these days. You know, when you get old, your daughter-in-law may not be interested in what you say. 2. Make a work plan in advance. Before you arrive at your parents-in-law's house, you'd better know what they are going to do at home, such as shopping in the supermarket, washing vegetables and washing rice, shoveling feces for cats, or repairing windows, and then make a good work plan. On the one hand, it can show that you are diligent, on the other hand, it can make them feel that you know their affairs very well and give people a sense of intimacy. 3. Bring a gift every time. You can give your father-in-law a golf cap every time, which can be his collection, not necessarily a practical product. Or send a beautiful wine glass at a time. After all, tableware can be used as an ornament or as a gift. Gifts that are both economical and affordable can be given often. 4. Do the work that they are inconvenient to do, such as weeding the courtyard lawn, cleaning the screen window, repairing the air conditioner, etc. Take the initiative to package the work that the elderly are inconvenient to do, so that they can enjoy life more easily, and at the same time, you can become a hero in their hearts to some extent. 5. If you are bored, find a book to read. This kind of behavior seems to be very self-controlled, and it will also let everyone spend the day peacefully. Here's a trick. Take a book from their bookshelf, and every adult will like people who are interested in their favorite books. Reading their favorite books also means that you want to know what they are thinking and get closer to them. 6, reading elders "My father-in-law likes to bake cookies on holidays and smoke all day, every time. I will spend the whole summer afternoon watching the smoke ring he exhaled from the recliner and listening to the sound of tree frogs. I am like a young sailor who always observes the ebb and flow of the tide and observes the complex emotional changes of the elderly. " In fact, there are many things in the hearts of old people that they have not expressed most of the time, but we can use the time we spend with them during the holidays to read their hearts quietly. 7, don't preach "knowledge" to yourself, don't preach in front of elders. Your parents-in-law are older than you. Even if you are more insightful than them in some things, don't say, don't "educate" them, which will make their self-esteem very uncomfortable. 8. Don't complain, always be grateful, and you must always feel at home in your parents' home. Even if you don't like their green carpets, messy kitchens and crowded balconies, learn not to complain. It's not that hard. All the troubles with parents-in-law will be a thing of the past, their nagging, their pet words, their prejudice against you and so on. When you look back, those trivial things you have experienced will become memories of your life. Always remind yourself that these two people created the people you love, so always be grateful.