Funny personality signature makes you laugh.

Funny personality signature makes you laugh.

1, Meng, remember to put sugar in the soup when you make it for me. I will thank you in the afterlife.

2. If someone marries me, I will blow up the divorce office immediately.

3. I don't know much about music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.

4, high is high, it is a straw bag; Short is short and can stand stepping on; Being thin means being thin and muscular.

From elementary school to university, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to learn.

6. You should also learn from Tencent and call me dear every time you go online.

7. Handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

8. I heard that the end of the world will be dark. I'll stay with you, or you should be afraid.

9. I drown my sorrows in wine, but I learned to swim in this damn pain.

10, get up every morning, the hairstyle is not like Altman, just like Saiyan.

1 1, the appearance is impeccable. The figure is golden!

12, Li Bai was about to go by boat when he suddenly heard singing on the shore. Making a scene is the most dazzling national style.

13, if you treat me like a game, I will kill you.

14, if one day, you can't contact me, then I will freeze to death, freeze to death. !

15. Life is like an electrocardiogram. If all goes well, you will die.

16, haven't seen Conan for a long time. I don't know when Naruto will become One Piece.

17, give me a support point, and I can pry you up and fall to your death.

18, my life creed is: live for decades as a grandson and die as a grandfather.

19, don't underestimate me. Although I can't save the people, I can harm the whole people.

20. Every time a chemistry teacher does an experiment, I always say one word in my heart: Fried.

2 1, we are good friends. I will give you a hand when you fall, but wait until I finish laughing.

22. Part I: There is no end to attacking Germany. Part II: There are endless criticisms: the sea of corruption is endless.

23. Confucius said: Sleepless at noon, collapse at noon. Mencius said: Confucius is right.

24. The typical sign of being single is that the one-month traffic package has long gone, and more than half of the call package is left.

25. I finally know why I wear a mask, not because of germs, but because I am afraid of meeting people with bad breath.

26, my god! If you can't make me thin, then make my friend fat!

27. You don't have a doctor's qualification certificate. Why do you say I'm crazy?

28. I say how long you can love me and how long you say I live. Are you dead now?

29, chew instant noodles, treat it as you, since I can't get you, I will chew you to death.

30. People say things and fart. They just breathe.

3 1, virgins are precious, and mature women are more expensive. If there is a rich woman, these two can be thrown away.

32. If I don't get married after many years, you will get married. Remember to pay attention when you let your children leave school.

33. Beast, let go of that girl! I'll do it.

34. Don't think that you look rare, we should be rare.

Thanks to my being a fat man, I can pinch my stomach when I am sad.

36. Skipping classes is a person's happiness, and attending classes is a group of people's loneliness.

37. The longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. Love yourself, no rival in love.

38. A short slip makes a long regret. Wake up the dreamer in one word and steal the cow once.

39. Think twice before you act is only a minority, and most of them still think twice before you act ~

40. The most brilliant moment of Apple was hitting Newton on the head!

4 1, I don't look at the time in the morning, but at how long I can sleep.

42. Holding the child's hand, I know that the child is ugly and full of tears. If the child doesn't go, I will go!

43. Mr. Bao, why is there a moon on your forehead? Because I don't understand the darkness of my day.

Even if you are already taken, I will move you to my side.

45. When you are in a bad mood, you will make harassing calls to others in the middle of the night, wake others up, and then go to bed.

46. I never told you my true identity. Actually, I am a wolf.

47. Li Bai was about to go by boat when he suddenly heard singing on the shore. Making a scene is the most dazzling national style.

You don't like me. This is a disease. Must be cured. I like you, which is also a disease. There is no rule of law at all.

49. Looking in the mirror this morning, I was shocked to find: Damn, I am beautiful again.

50. Being handsome is annoying. If I were a girl, I would marry myself.

Classic funny phrases that make you laugh.

1, it is foolish to treat beauty as capital, but it is wise to treat beauty as energy.

2. Others will be successful in a few years, and I estimate that they will be suburban people in a few years.

The Monkey King is so fickle that she is destined to be single.

The furthest distance in the world is your home in Australia, and I cook porridge at home.

5. Pursuing girls to use poetry; Recording honeymoon can be used as an essay; Ironically, you have to use prose.

6. When there is no money, there are a group of friends; When you have money, there are a group of bodyguards. ...

7. Otaku will never miss home.

8. Niu B is like Jobs: brush our cards before death and brush our screens after death! ! !

9. It is an adventure for a princess to meet a scholar, an adventure for a lady to fall in love with a poet, an adventure for a fairy to see a cowherd, and an adventure for flowers to stick dung in it.

10. Without you, Bunny would ask, "Who should I race with?"

1 1. Recently, even the mice at home have moved. ...

12, a friend of the police academy said: The characteristic of their alumni is that half of their classmates are catching the other half.

13, Murphy's Theorem There is a saying in China that the chain is broken at the critical moment.

14. Three suggestions for young people: the first is thinking, the second is thinking, and the third is not thinking all the time.

15, the sale didn't close, and Renyi also ran away.

16, chopsticks can't be lifted, but sheets can't get out.

17, Laozi is my son's passport, and my son is my epitaph.

I only have eyes for you. Okay ... so I'm just an eye drop.

19. Being alive is a serious problem. How to live is a matter of entertainment.

20. One day passed after soy sauce, and time passed so quickly …

2 1. The weather is fine today. I stayed indoors for a long time and am going to play in the living room.

22, one hero and three gangs, and the result became a four-person state.

23, tea is really bad, praise him when it is soaked, and throw it away mercilessly when it is soaked.

24. Metal detectors are not only used for security inspection, but also used by some people to pick up garbage.

25. Youth is gone forever. Have a nice trip.

26. The first two meet, the brave wins, and the brave meets the wise. The wise see wisdom, and the benevolent wins.

27. Eggs break food from the outside and life from the inside.

28. Life is like a pancake. You have to turn it over several times before it matures.

29. Being drunk is never the sin of alcohol, but the degree of feelings is too high.

Talk about the funny connotation that makes people laugh.

1. Why do you feel sleepy when reading? Because books are where dreams begin.

In fact, I am handsome from one angle, but you didn't notice it.

It's time to go out for a walk. After all, such a good face is always hidden at home, which is a great loss to society.

4. God is fair, giving others happiness will also make them blind, for fear that they will feel uncomfortable.

Mermaids are fake, at least in the history of China, otherwise there will be cooking methods and taste effects handed down.

6. My mother told me from an early age that you can't make irresponsible friends. I think I did it all, and I did it well. Because all my friends are idiots.

7. During the Spring Festival, the status of single marriageable men and women at home is the same as that of a harem without a prince's concubine. Some people worry about you, some people give you advice, some people give you a dirty look, and some people laugh at you.

8. There has been a question in my heart these days: Have all the people sitting in the audience in the Spring Festival Evening been confiscated?

9. Why do you remind me that money is not everything? I'm not that greedy. I just want money, but I don't expect it to do everything.

10. There is always a selfless person in the world. They would rather make themselves unhappy than others.

1 1. When you hate people around you, the best way to express your disgust is not to argue with them, but to work hard and leave them when you have the chance. In that way, they will disappear from your life forever, just like death.

12. Don't always compare yourself with others. You envy others for being thin, others envy you for having a good stomach, you envy others for being rich, and others envy no one to borrow money from you.

13. There is a kind of friendship called frozen hand friend. No matter how cold your hands are, I will reply to your message in time. If I don't reply to you, it means that you are not worth freezing your hands.

14. Body and soul are always on the way to eat.

15. People who lose weight must not add any weight loss groups. On the surface, they can encourage each other, but it is useless. If you are not the fattest, you will relax because someone is at the bottom.

16. If a person has no object, others will comfort him. Women nowadays demand too much. If a woman has no object, others will definitely say that she is too demanding.

17. When you feel that you are useless and a waste, please remember to find a waste collector and sell yourself for some money.

18. Thanks to Empresses in the Palace of Sun Li and The Legend of Mi Yue. Although I haven't seen an episode, I have known the words "Heng and Mi" since then.

19. Procrastination is not a pathological state, but a very wise survival strategy. Many problems in our life will be solved by ourselves as long as we put them off again and again. If you don't succeed, you haven't delayed long enough.

20. How time flies, only one second, just two seconds.

2 1. I found I was paralyzed. I tried to tell myself that I had to go to work today, but my body just didn't respond.

22. In ancient times, when girls were dating, it was up to their parents to say whether they wanted it or not. She didn't want to say that her daughter wanted to live with her parents for two years.

23. If you feel tired like a dog all day, you are wrong: dogs are not as tired as you.

24. Beijing is seriously polluted, and primary and secondary schools are on holiday, but adults have to go to work normally. This tells us: cherish your school days, because once you grow up, you can't be regarded as an individual.

25. When I hate someone, if this person suddenly says that he likes me, then I don't hate each other at all. It's so principled. You can't hate a man with vision.

26. Would you like to be my sun? Then please keep 92955886.7 kilometers with me.

27. You pretend to be cold after every exam, because when others are arguing about whether the answer is A or B, you can't figure out why you chose C.

28. I saw a figure like you in the street. I chased like crazy and suddenly woke up. It turns out that you are no longer in this city, so I silently put down my brick.

I left my hometown that year, and the villagers never drank a well water again.

Funny QQ personality talk, laugh.

1. The host didn't order anything tonight. Let's kill the second brother!

2. Rabbits don't eat grass beside their nests, good horses don't eat grass back, and it is fashionable for old cows to eat tender grass. There is plenty of grass in the world.

You said you would wait for me to come back. You did it. You found someone to wait with.

4, all kinds of small flowers, all kinds of flowers. People from all walks of life are quite hi.

People always want ghosts and gods to know when they do good things, but never know when they do bad things. We are too embarrassed.

6. Books are seldom used, and there is not enough money to spend by the end of the month.

7. What makes us unhappy are trivial things. We can avoid an elephant, but we can't avoid a fly.

8. The temptation to go home tells those mistresses that behind you, there will definitely be the next mistress to replace you.

9. If you take the initiative for a long time, you will be tired, and if you care for a long time, you will collapse.

10, actually, I used to be quite tall, but later I often took a shower and it shrank.

1 1. Don't try to get a girl drunk and turn her into a woman. You can't afford the consequences.

12, a fool did a stupid thing, and a hundred smart people couldn't figure out why.

13, the days without paper towels are really painful, and I hang two noodles every day.

14, watching TV series means watching other people's lives on your own time.

15. Looking at your wedding photos, I really want to pS them in black and white and hang them on the wall.

16, one person lives, two people have fun, three people fight to the death, four people ... why don't we play cards?

17, girl, take it easy. I am not a good person!

18, my heart is like that cookie, I can't help you break and soak it!

19, men have gold under their knees, so I bent down to pick it up!

20, walking on the wall, vomiting blood, it's time to go home and wash and sleep.

2 1, the advertisement just tells us that money can still be spent like this.

22. If my life is a movie, then you are the advertisement that pops up in the middle.

23. Most people lie from composition, and a few truths start from writing love letters.

24. How come your internet frequency is the same as yours?

25. Everyone eats shit sometimes. Remember, don't chew

26. Women say that men are philandering because women are unattractive, while men say that women are realistic because men are incompetent.

27. Commitment is often like a butterfly, which flies beautifully and then disappears.

28. Don't talk about this social reality, but people's hearts are too dark.

Please don't throw bombs except during World War II.

30. Does it itch? Itching is right. When the wound is growing, so are the nerve endings. Tired? Just tired. Comfort is for the dead.

3 1, it's so windy today that my heart is cold.

32. I used to talk. I thought you were blind.

33. Melon vendor: "Come and eat watermelon, no charge if it is not sweet!" Hungry passerby: "Wow! Great, boss, have a sweet one. "

Accept my last charity and return to your noble world.

35. A boy has a crush on a girl. He encourages girls to ask what kind of boys they like. The girl replied, and the boy said with frustration, "How about a flat head?"

Don't wear such a thick foundation when you go out, you can't see what it looks like.

Money is god, and you can't go to hell without money.

38. It is said that getting married is very cheap now. Come on, let's get married. My treat!

39. When the father gave his son something, his son smiled. Dad cried when his son gave him something.

40. What a woman is most proud of is not how beautiful she looks, but how many women her man will refuse for her.

4 1, a person, if you don't push yourself, you have no idea how good you are.

42. My qq avatar is dancing happily in your QQ, but your penguin seems to have Alzheimer's disease, and it took a long time to say "Oh".

43, the whole class sleeps, after school games form a team, the whole class collapses at the end of the term, and the exam cannot be opened.

44. Teachers assign more than 300 million words of homework a year, and the test papers can circle the earth three times together. For nine consecutive years, the number of global assignments has been leading, with good results, and of course it is more popular.

45, you really don't look down on fat people! Thin down and die one by one.