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Please help me, brothers and sisters, how to get along with my colleagues.

Keys to relationships with colleagues: and

Whether you can establish a good relationship with colleagues is the touchstone for testing an employee’s character.

Although we cannot say that a person with good character will definitely have good popularity, we can be sure that a person with low moral character and poor character will never have good popularity. As the saying goes: Birds of a feather flock together, and people flock together. As a normal person, who would want to be with someone of low moral character? Therefore, the quality of character is the decisive factor that determines the quality of popularity. Of course, one must also master some communication arts.

First of all, we must establish a concept: harmony is precious.

In Chinese philosophy of life, the golden mean is regarded as the classic way. The essence of the golden mean is that harmony is the most precious. Colleagues, as your work partners, will inevitably have conflicts of interest or other aspects. When dealing with these conflicts, the first solution you think of should be reconciliation. After all, you are under the same roof, and if you let anyone ruin your mood, you may be the one who suffers in the future, not others. Living in harmony with your colleagues will take your weight to a new level in the eyes of your boss, because harmonious handling of interpersonal relationships is not only a need for survival, but also a need for work and life.

Getting along with colleagues is easy. Harmonious colleague relationships make the work and life of you and your colleagues around you simpler and more efficient.

If you want to have a harmonious relationship with colleagues, you must also remember a saying: "The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water."

If everyone works in the same company, their personal relationships will definitely be very different, and distance and distance will naturally exist. The key to the problem is how to deal with this "near, far, close, distant" relationship.

We can think back on the people we tend to have opinions about. In fact, we don’t have any objections to who is closely related to whom and who is distant from whom, because for ourselves, we also have a closer relationship with some people and a more normal relationship with some people. We don’t even have any objections to our colleagues finding excuses for their friends to excuse their mistakes, because we don’t have a few good brothers and sisters to protect them when something happens. But when we discovered that this distant and distant relationship began to expand due to common interests, and even led to corruption and mutual strife, we began to frown.

This situation is a taboo within an excellent team. It can even be said to be the beginning of the disintegration and differentiation of a team. The result is the paralysis of the entire team.

In order to avoid this happening, what we have to do is to control the distance and distance between us and our colleagues. We should think of it this way, no matter whether you are close or distant with a colleague, this is a personal relationship between you, and this relationship is a relationship outside of work and should not have any impact on your work.

Although the reason is very simple, in fact the feelings between people are not as easy to control as described in writing. Although you know clearly in your heart: "I must not bring personal relationships to work." But more often than not, many behaviors are natural expressions of personal likes and dislikes, and even you yourself cannot feel it. So, according to this, what should we do? That is, the degree of distance and closeness should be controlled. The best way is to "the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water".

The formation and maintenance of good friends require conditions. To be more specific, to become good friends, it is important to have the same affection, but there is another point, that is, there should be no obvious conflict of interest between two people. It is difficult for two people with obvious conflicts of interest and explicit or implicit competition of interests to become good friends. Even two people who have become good friends can often reach a stalemate in their relationship when faced with obvious conflicts of interest and competition. Because human nature is selfish, no one can escape it.

It is precisely because of this that in the company, it is better to have "the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water".

Because the company is an environment full of obvious competition and conflicts of interest, there are too many factors that affect and interfere with the close and distant relationships between people. Conflicts and rifts are too easy to occur between good friends, and such conflicts and rifts are basically impossible to avoid, even if people have the best subjective hopes.

Secondly, you must learn to respect your colleagues.

In interpersonal interactions, your own attitude towards others often determines others' attitude towards you. Therefore, if you want to gain the favor and respect of others, you must first respect others.

Research shows that everyone has a strong desire for friendship and respect. It can be seen from this that the love of face is indeed a major instinct of people. At work, if you are not careful, you may inadvertently say something embarrassing to your colleague. On the surface, he may just feel a little guilty on his face, but he may have been severely bruised in his heart. In the future, the other person may feel self-esteem. I feel hurt and refuse to associate with you.

A philosopher once asked this question: Who is putting on airs, the general or the guard? The answer is the doorman. Because the general has strong capital, he does not need any support. The same is true in real life. People with advantages are often generous. Their self-esteem and face are enough, and no one else needs to add to them.

People who are in the same class as you or even inferior to you in some aspects are likely to have strong self-esteem due to low self-esteem. What little face they have needs your careful care. If you can Communicate with others in an equal manner, and the other person will feel respected and have a good impression of you. So, remember, there is no friendship without respect.

To respect your colleagues, you must consciously keep their secrets.

We know the secrets about our colleagues through two channels. One is what this person tells us personally, and the other is all ways other than what he tells us personally.

If someone told us in person, we would really not be able to say anything even to death. If others trust us so much, how can we spread other people's privacy casually?

So, what if we learned such news through other channels?

Then let the news be blocked here! Let these messages end with us, and the channels of dissemination be completely cut off with us.

Although we all understand these truths, sometimes our mouths still leak the news inadvertently. For example, if you have fun with everyone, when you are having fun, you will forget everything in the excitement and just say whatever comes to mind. Anyway, everyone is happy! For another example, if you have an quarrel with someone and you feel angry in your heart, all the friendships and morals in the world will be put aside, and I will give you a big reveal.

This situation is too likely to happen. How can this be avoided? The best way is to simply swallow what others have said and let it rot in your stomach. If it's not clean in one day, take two days to rot it. In short, in one sentence, you can’t let your mouth get you into trouble. The ancients said, "Misfortune comes from the mouth." In a company, in this kind of interpersonal circle, this sentence should be written by everyone on their desk to remind themselves at all times!

Thirdly, try to avoid conflicts with colleagues.

When your colleagues work in the same unit as you and meet almost every day, all kinds of trivial things will inevitably happen between them, and each person’s personality, temperament, strengths and weaknesses will also be exposed. It's more obvious, especially when everyone's behavioral shortcomings and character weaknesses are much more exposed, which can lead to all kinds of entanglements and conflicts. Some of these relationships and conflicts are superficial, some are secret, some are public, and some are hidden. All kinds of unpleasantness are intertwined, which will lead to various conflicts.

If there is a conflict between colleagues, they can still communicate with each other. First, any opinions between colleagues often originate from some specific events and do not involve other aspects of the individual. After the incident has passed, this kind of conflict and contradiction may continue for a period of time due to the inertia of people's thinking, but over time, it will gradually fade away.

So, don’t hold on to small opinions from the past. As long as you are open-minded and don't take the past seriously, the other party will treat you with the same open-minded attitude.

Second, even if the other person still has certain prejudices against you, it does not prevent you from communicating with him. Because in the interactions between colleagues, what we are pursuing is not the friendship and affection between friends, but just work. It doesn't matter if there are conflicts between each other, as long as both parties can cooperate in work. Since the work itself involves the common interests of both parties, how well they cooperate with each other and whether things are successful or not are all related to both parties. If the other person is a smart person, he will naturally think of this, and in this way, he will also work hard to cooperate with you. If the other party is stubborn, you might as well point something out to him during cooperation or work to facilitate mutual cooperation.

It is not terrible to have conflicts between colleagues. As long as we can face the reality and actively take measures to resolve conflicts, the relationship between colleagues will still be as good as before, or even better than before.

To resolve conflicts between colleagues, you should take a proactive approach. You might as well try to put aside past stereotypes and treat these people more positively, at least treat them the same way you treat everyone else. At first, they will be wary and will dismiss it as a trap. Be patient, it's okay, it does take a lot of work to settle old grudges. You have to persist in treating them well and improve little by little. After a while, the problems between you will disappear like water in the sun that evaporates.

If your co-worker is older than you, don't confront him or her while the incident is happening unless you're sure your reasons are strong. A better approach is to resolve it after you both have calmed down, and even in this case, directly identifying the problem and addressing it are unlikely to work. You can talk about some relevant issues, and of course, you can ask questions in your own way. If you did do something wrong and were accused of it, revisit the issue and apologize sincerely. Saying something like "It's my fault" can work wonders.

After you make the above efforts, you can basically resolve conflicts between colleagues. If you meet some stubborn people who are still unwilling to reconcile with you despite your efforts, don’t be sad. When you meet such people, there is nothing anyone can do. The problem is not with you, so just rest assured. Just go to work and ignore these people.

Finally, learn to deal with various types of colleagues.

Everyone has his or her own unique lifestyle and personality. In the company, there are always some people who are difficult to deal with, such as arrogant people, rigid people, people with excessive self-esteem, etc. Therefore, you must adapt to different people and adopt different communication strategies.

——Dealing with overly arrogant colleagues.

Dealing with co-workers who are arrogant, rude, and verbally abusive is inevitably unpleasant, but there are times when you have to interact with them. At this time, you may wish to take the following measures:

First, try to reduce the time you spend with him. In the limited time you have with him, you try to fully express your opinions and do not give him a chance to show arrogance.

Second, the conversation should be concise and concise. Try to use short sentences to clearly explain your purpose and requirements. Giving the other party a clean and crisp impression also makes it difficult for him to display his arrogance, even if he wants to put on airs.

——Dealing with colleagues who are too rigid.

When dealing with this type of person, you don’t have to care about his cold face. On the contrary, you should be enthusiastic and use your enthusiasm to resolve his indifference, and carefully observe his words and deeds to find out how he feels. Communicate about issues of interest and matters of greater concern.

When dealing with this kind of person, you must be patient and don’t rush for success. As long as you have the same topic with him, I believe that his rigidity will disappear and he will show his enthusiasm. Showing rare enthusiasm. In this way, a more harmonious relationship can be established.

—Dealing with competitive colleagues.

Some colleagues are arrogant and like to show off. They always seize the opportunity to express themselves and strive to appear superior to others and have the upper hand in all aspects. Although many people cannot stand this kind of person. , but in order not to hurt his kindness, he always gave in to him everywhere.

But in some cases, your tolerance and tolerance will be regarded as a kind of weakness, and instead he will disrespect you even more or look down on you. For this kind of person, you have to dampen his spirit at the right time. Let him know that there are mountains outside the mountains, and there are people outside the people. Don't be ignorant of the height of the sky and the height of the sky.

——To deal with colleagues who are more sophisticated.

This kind of person has no shortage of opinions on things, but he will never express his opinions easily unless absolutely necessary or when things are right. This kind of person is usually very scheming when interacting with others, always hiding his true face, hoping to know more about the other person, so that he can take the initiative in the interaction, deal with various conflicts and remain invincible. land.

When dealing with this kind of person, you must be careful not to let him completely grasp all your secrets and details, let alone be used by him, and thus fall into his trap and be unable to extricate yourself.

——Facing colleagues who talk sweetly but are secretive.

A person who talks sweetly but hides his sword is like a pot of fire, but a knife secretly. When encountering such colleagues, the best way to deal with them is to keep away from them, avoid them if you can, and hide if you can.

If this kind of person wants to get close to you in the office, you should find a reason to avoid it, and try not to do things with him. Be prepared.

——Dealing with impatient colleagues.

When you encounter an impatient colleague, you must keep a calm mind. You can adopt a tolerant attitude toward his recklessness, laugh it off, and try to avoid quarrels.

—Dealing with mean coworkers.

Mean people tend to find fault with others when they have disputes, and leave no room for mercy. They are accustomed to make sarcastic remarks, dig into people's privacy, often take pleasure in making fun of others, behave outrageously, are immoral, disturb others unreasonably, and refuse to let others do what they are justified in doing. They will make those who offend them lose face in front of everyone and lose their dignity among colleagues.

When you meet such a colleague, you should distance yourself from him and try not to provoke him. If you suffer a small loss or hear one or two gossips, you should pretend not to have heard them, do not get annoyed or angry, and keep a corresponding distance from him.

Learn 30 principles for getting along with colleagues

1. No matter what happens, you must first think about whether you have done something wrong. If you are right (that is impossible), then stand in the other person's perspective and experience the other person's feelings.

2. Allow yourself to adapt to the environment, because the environment will never adapt to you. Even if it's a very, very painful process.

3. Be generous. If you don’t know how to be generous, learn to be generous. If being generous really makes you feel bad, then pretend to be generous.

4. Be low-key, low-key, and low-key (even more low-key than a temporary worker. In the eyes of others, you may not be as good as a temporary worker who has worked for several years).

5. Be sweet and don’t begrudge your cheers. (Know how to praise people. Good compliments will make people feel happy, but don’t overdo it to the point of disgusting.)

6. If you feel that your work has gone very smoothly in the recent period, then you should Be careful.

7. Be polite. Look the person in the eye when you say hello. Communicate with older people using the title of elder, because you are just like a kid.

8. Talk less and do more. Talking too much will lead to mistakes. Talk less when there are many people.

9. Don’t take other people’s goodness for granted, but be grateful.

10. The hands are high and the eyes are low.

11. Keep time, but don’t expect others to keep time.

12. Be true to your promises, but don’t make them easily. Don't always keep other people's promises to you in mind and take them as true.

13. Don’t borrow money from colleagues. If you borrow money, you must pay it back on time.

14. Don’t lend money to colleagues. If you have to borrow money, just give it to him.

15. Don’t shirk responsibility (even if it is someone else’s responsibility. Will you die if you take it once in a while?).

16. Don’t speak ill of a colleague behind another colleague’s back. You must insist on saying good things about others behind their backs, and don't worry that the good words won't reach the ears of the person involved. If someone speaks ill of someone in front of you, smile.

17. Avoid open confrontation with colleagues (including public objections, fierce ones are even more undesirable).

18. Always help others, but don’t let the people being helped take it for granted.

19. Telling the truth will get you into trouble.

20. Be kind to things but not people; or be ruthless to things but be affectionate to people; or be a person first and work second.

21. Always check whether you are arrogant, proud, or looking down on others. (Even if you are talented, it will be in vain without the cooperation and help of others)

22. Patience is a required course in life. (You have to be patient for a lifetime. Some people will fail this lesson until they die.)

23. When you are new to a place, don’t rush into one of the circles. After enough time, the circle that belongs to you will automatically accept you.

24. Have a normal heart. It’s not a big deal, just think of the bad things in the best light and good things in the worst light.

25. Try not to have an office romance. If it cannot be avoided, avoid any form of physical contact in the office, including eyes. (If you or the other person are married, - Congratulations, brother. You are dead!!!!)

26. Can flatter you (this is one of the important ways to communicate with your immediate boss) , but be careful not to get your hands dirty. Never use your tongue to lick flattery.

27. Qualifications are very important. Don't play tricks with the old guys, otherwise you will die ugly.

28. Good intentions sometimes do not have good results, but you should not be discouraged by this.

29. Be respectful when you are above and be generous when you are below.

30. If you lead a team, when summarizing the work, you should take all the mistakes on yourself and give all the credit to your subordinates. When your boss and subordinates are present at the same time, remember to praise your subordinates promptly. When criticizing someone, you must do it when it’s just the two of you.

Don’t just apply rigid methods, but be flexible, it really makes sense!