Break-up and compound savings 1000 words (from break-up to compound)

Recently, I received many private letters, and everyone asked me many questions. I have been trying my best to help you, but I am not always online, so my reply is not timely. So I will share some of my experiences and feelings in the process of emotional counseling in recent years, hoping to be useful to you in the pain of breaking up.

Foreword: Mentality determines most results. Many girls began to lose confidence as soon as they broke up, thinking that nothing could change their decision to break up, but at the same time they were unwilling to give up like this, so they struggled repeatedly and lived in the shadow of pain in these two extreme mentalities.

In fact, no matter what situation we are in, we should put our thoughts in order. Even if we are about to lose someone we love, you can handle it calmly and control your feelings in your own hands.

When we first broke up,

Most people will be very painful after breaking up, and then they will be obsessed with it and get lost. They will start thinking: Do I still want to save him? Can we get him back? Does he really not love me? Is it possible for us to get back together?

The teacher has always believed that whether to save or not is a choice you must make. If you love him, you should save him. If you don't love, move on with your new life. Once you make up your mind, you must stick to your choice, because vacillation is the most painful.

With a direction and a persistent line, we can make up our minds and act.

Before deciding to save it

Many girls have a compound heart when chatting with me, but they never believe that they can succeed or that they will fall in love with themselves again. If you are depressed before you recover, you might as well give up. This mentality is not acceptable.

You must know the fact that everything is constantly changing. You think he doesn't love you now, but you forget that he used to love you so much, from loving you to not loving you, because there are many contradictions between you, which has made him have a qualitative change.

Then you should also believe that you can change the relationship between you in some ways, so that he will never love you, and then love you again. You should always believe in yourself, believe in him, go around and you will meet again.

Only by believing, can we be brave in change, can we firmly follow the next path, and can we act correctly and positively. This is the importance of mentality.

You still have plenty of time. As long as you have time, you are not afraid of not being able to get back together. Don't always imply that he doesn't love you. Sometimes love is not determined by your subjective will. If you leave for a short time, it is also a good thing if you can make our relationship model no longer bad.

Then, please cheer up. Seeing this, you can bravely make a decision, whether to let go or get back together. You can press this button.

In the early stage of recovery

If you can persist and get back together, then I think you will have a lot of entanglements at this time: do you want to break up and when to get back together? Will he forget me if I don't contact him? Will it put pressure on him to contact him?

I guess when you start to decide to save money, the first thing to do is to look up various ways to save money online. The first thing many tutorials tell you is to disconnect. So you start to try the operation, only to find that the result is too different from your own imagination, and then you think the method is wrong. Over and over again, you have done something and given up something, but you have never achieved good results.

Now that you have decided to save it, you must persist and believe in yourself; Since you choose to believe in the theory of redemption, you should do it seriously and study it seriously. If you give up halfway, how can you make up? It is better to use this time to find a solution and stick to it than to repeatedly doubt and dabble.

Doing anything is the unity of behavior and consciousness. Only by keeping the right attitude can we do the right thing, and so can redemption.

Second, change with the same. There are many things you shouldn't do in the early days of breaking up. Here are two outstanding examples. In the early days of breaking up, the last two things to do are: stalking and beating, extortion and deletion.

Struggler

The entanglement after breaking up is actually normal. Breaking up leads to instant tearing of intimate relationship. I can't accept this fact. It is understandable to use entanglement to save each other.

But stalking and pestering are different. You should distinguish them. There is a limit to everything. Proper entanglement can make the other person feel that you attach importance to this relationship, but excessive entanglement will make this relationship fall into a state of perdition.

What are the behaviors of stalking and beating?

Keep chatting with each other, keep calling him, send small compositions, inquire about each other's whereabouts, chase and block, pretend to be pitiful and gain sympathy, always apologize and admit mistakes, and so on.

All these behaviors have one thing in common, that is, repetition. Once it goes too far, the other party will have strong psychological pressure, which will only aggravate your unreasonable image.

Of course, there is another key point. Your insistence will make the other person very sure that you have been waiting for him. As soon as he turns around, you will see him at once. In this way, he will be more indifferent to you, because you have been, have been dead set on him, and he can completely see through the outside world and come back.

At this point, you have lost your value and dignity, and he will hurt you even more unscrupulously and push you away without scruple. You can't go far anyway.

There are also some girls who like to send small compositions to men, paragraph by paragraph. You write very carefully, but the fact is that the other party can't understand a word. He will only think that you are so annoying that he has no time to read such a long string of words. If you do this behavior too much, the other person will think that you are completely crazy, hysterical, unable to control your emotions, and he doesn't even want to get back together with you.

Delete or blacken the other party's contact information

Whether you are impulsive or can't stand the ending of the breakup, as long as you want to get back together, don't delete or blacken the other party's contact information, because it won't work at all.

If it has been deleted, you must find an excuse to add it back. Why? Because of the circle of friends.

After breaking up, the circle of friends is the last place you contact. As long as you can see each other's dynamics, you can understand his current situation and know if he has a new love. As long as he can see your circle of friends, you can't really disappear from his world

As long as your circle of friends is handled properly and for a long time, he will naturally be curious about you and want to know about your life, then his chances of taking the initiative to chat with you will be greatly improved.

So the contact information cannot be deleted. After you delete it, as time goes by, his feelings for you will gradually decrease. Imagine that you haven't appeared in his life for a long time, and then there is a better girl than you. How would he choose? I think you should know.

Third, there are many reasons for how to solve the problem of being blacked out by the other party and being blacked out by the predecessor. First, find out what your reason is.

Your persistence has affected the other person's life, and you have also brought him a lot of negative emotions. Fear, boredom and stress made him breathless, so I deleted you.

You said something wrong when chatting with him, which made him angry, or the content of your circle of friends made him uncomfortable.

He still loves you, but he doesn't get along with you. In this way, he forced himself to let go

If it is the second possibility, then you should find and solve the problems from the previous chat and get along with each other, and try to communicate with each other when you come back, so it is no longer difficult to add them back.

If it is the last possibility, of course, this possibility is relatively small. You don't have to do anything, just be yourself. If he really still loves you, he will naturally come back to be with you.

So in life, the first situation is the most common, let's focus on it.

What should I do if I am blacked out because of stalking and beating?

If the other party has blacked you out, calm down immediately and stop your entanglement and harassment. Now he may only hack your contact information. If you continue to pester, you may even hack your mobile phone behind your back.

So don't do it again, don't pester, and don't let your emotions ruin your last chance. At that time, the gods could not help you.

If you are pestering each other now, stop at once and don't be stupid again. Your entanglement can't win back his heart, and you may be hacked at any time.

If you find yourself deleted and hacked, don't worry, and don't call him with another number. Deleting power outages is not without benefits. It can calm you down, think carefully about what your emotional problems are, and even get rid of them and give yourself a chance to turn over.

After being deleted and blacked out, don't add him rashly, because the other person knows your intention without looking, and your purpose is too obvious. He knows that as long as he passes your add request, he will be in endless trouble, so he will not pass it easily.

So what should we do? If you have * * * friends, you can show your changes through them, you can appear at * * * parties with friends, you can create random encounters and so on. In short, you should leave an impression in his visible range, so after this operation, add him after a while, and your success rate will be much higher.

During this period, you must be yourself and then build your own circle of friends. Don't slack off, and your circle of friends should be updated in time, because when you add his friends, you can set up to allow friends to view ten circle of friends, and when he sees the verification message, he can learn about your changes through these. If it really changes a lot, he will have a high probability of passing.

Fourth, how to get back together? Don't expose your sense of need.

This is very important, especially since he just passed your friend's application. Don't talk to him in a hurry. You can even make him wait for a few days. The more anxious you are, the easier it is to expose your sense of need.

Don't worry, he won't delete you again, because he has developed a little curiosity about you, and his instinct will prompt him to explore curiosity and start to re-examine you. You just have to resist a strong sense of need and control your emotions, so don't worry. When he took the initiative to speak, the first step was already successful.

The law of conservation of energy tells us that the more you care, the easier it is to lose. When you are no longer afraid of losing, the other person will be afraid of your leaving.

Try to do your own thing.

What is "your own business"? Not to send him a message to apologize, not to meet him, the center around you is not each other, but yourself.

For example, your career planning, your hobbies, your family and friends, everything around you is yourself. Doing these things well can make you more independent and mature.

It's understandable to be sad when we just broke up, but we can't let it go. You know, the more negative you are, the more the other person thinks you are worthless and will hurt you without fear.

So from the beginning of recovery, you should pick up your interest again, work harder, get together with friends more in your spare time, take yourself as the center, dress yourself up carefully every day, try different dressing styles and do a good job in body management.

At first, negative psychology made you refuse to do these things, but please believe me, as long as you start to do them, you will find that these things will bring you many benefits.

You will find that you pay more attention to your feelings, your thoughts become more mature, you understand the meaning of life, you want to live more valuable, so your attention shifts from the other person, and you suddenly find that it doesn't matter whether you have him or not.

With this mentality, when you no longer regard him as the whole of life, the other person will start to be restless, and he will start to brush his sense of existence in front of you intentionally or unintentionally, and may even encounter you. If you give him a little feedback, he will even send you a message.

So at this moment, you gradually understand that the way you are now is the way he fell in love with you at first, but you fell in love and became sensitive and suspicious, so there were more arguments, more and more contradictions, and the feelings became weaker and weaker.

When you return to the original appearance, your attraction to him will naturally come back. I believe he will fall in love with you again.

Try new fields and inject freshness into feelings.

Many girls try to focus on themselves, but they still can't find each other, and their feelings can't go on. What happened?

In fact, shifting the focus back to yourself will only make the other person interested in you for a short time. He will wonder why you have these changes, so he will explore you. When he explores into the depths, he will find that your essence has not changed, the contradiction between the two people has not been resolved, and he will leave again.

Therefore, you must try new fields, improve and change yourself. In terms of behavior, if you are a person who never cooks, then you should take the initiative to try and learn, and maybe the other person will like your change.

In terms of getting along, if you used to be overbearing and never knew how to tolerate him, then you should adjust your personality shortcomings;

In terms of communication, if you always failed in communication before, you should seriously think about how to be effective in every communication now.

After improving yourself in all aspects, you should take the initiative to communicate with each other. Only in communication, you will find that your emotional intelligence has improved, you can handle emotional problems better than before, and your communication skills have also improved a lot.

Therefore, changing or improving yourself is really not that complicated. It's hard to start with a small thing. When the first step is done, the road ahead will be easy.

Learn to face up to your own problems and attribute them reasonably.

When two people get along, there will be contradictions. When there is a contradiction, we will instinctively push the problem to others, but in fact, when the relationship has reached the point of breaking up, both of us have their own problems. When there is a contradiction, you should attribute it reasonably, analyze it objectively first, and then treat it emotionally, and you will get along more harmoniously.

In feelings, only by examining your own problems more and solving your own problems first can you solve the problems of both sides. The other party found that the problems between you disappeared, and you became more mature and attractive. Won't you be tempted?

Even if he won't be tempted at once, his heart has already begun to shake. What you need to do next is to continue to add a fire to your feelings, actively create a meeting, and let the other party have a strong sense of shock. Chatting like when you are ambiguous, you will gain a new lover. Let's go