Joke Collection Website - Talk about mood - Seek a pair of classic lines! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Seek a pair of classic lines! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Props: a table, a chair, a piece of wood, a dress, cosmetics, etc. Today, we will perform the double spring for you.

What is a double spring?

A: Double-reed means that one person does the action in front and doesn't talk, while the other person says it in the back.

B: Then let's have a try.

A: OK.

(Start: A is sitting in a chair in front of the table, with some clothes on the chair, a toiletries and a wooden block on the table)

A beat of wood began to say

Today is the third day of May. As the saying goes, I will visit my mother in May. (Look at the weather. ) Oh, it's a beautiful day today. I'm going to see my mother today. (Standing up, then suddenly having a meal) No, (sitting down again) I have to dress up first, or I won't be able to laugh when I go back to my parents' house. I put on some lipstick (I picked up lipstick to make it look like lipstick), I put on some powder (I picked up makeup and began to put it on my face) and put on my fancy clothes. (Looking in the mirror again, smiling) Okay. Go back to my parents' home (get off the chair and start singing while walking). Whose daughter-in-law walks fast. It turned out that she was going back to her parents' house. Wearing a big coat and a hairband-hey, why is it so hot today (wiping sweat on your head with your hands)? No, it's too hot. It seems that I have to take off some clothes, or I will die of heat. (Sit back in the chair) I take off my little coat. No, it's still hot. I took off my blouse. No, it's still hot. I'm going to take off my-(get up from the chair in a hurry,)

B: Why don't you act?

A: I'll take off my pants if I play again!

B: No matter how hot it is, keep calling.

A: That's all right.

(sitting in a chair, patting wood, starting over)

I just remembered to perform, but I forgot to introduce myself to you. My name is dog tail flower. I'm 38 years old and I don't have many hobbies. I like playing mahjong. (Playing mahjong) I have nothing to do in one night, and there are not many in two nights. I can stay at the mahjong table for three nights My wife advised me that you can't live like this, and I'll live with you like this again. I thought he was just bluffing, but I didn't expect him to do it. I haven't seen him in this house for months. (crying and wiping his nose) I did all this myself. I really slapped myself. I hit, I hit, I hit (slap). I'll fold my fingers now, so I can't play mahjong anymore. (Raise one hand and chop with a knife in the other) I fold, I fold, I fold (I move slowly when I fold, acting like I hate myself)

As he spoke, he stood up from behind and handed A a kitchen knife.

A: I unconsciously took the kitchen knife in B's hand.

When the knife fell into my hand, I suddenly stopped and jumped up from the chair.

B: Why don't you play anymore? What's the matter with you?

A: What's the matter? If you play again, your face will be swollen and your fingers will be gone. If I want to play, we must change. You are in the front and I am in the back, so as not to hurt me directly.

B: OK.

B patted the wood and sat in the chair to start over.

Thinking of my lover, alas, is all my fault. He has regular facial features, a straight nose and a square mouth, and looks like Lu Yi. What a nice guy, let me play mahjong and beat the cooked duck away (wiping my nose). Now I only sing one song to express my feelings at this moment-friends, friends, have you ever thought about me? If you are happy, please forget me. There is a sun in my heart and a mahjong in my hand. I know now, I know now, this is better, this is better. Ah, I have a husband in my heart and six cakes in my hand. I know now, I know now, that knocked down, that knocked down, Ah Sun, Ah Sun, the sun in my heart-Sun Yang, Ah Sun me.

B: Pull up your armor quickly. What's the matter with you?

A: Get up and play B. You're still playing tricks on me.