If you cannot forgive, don't forgive.

There is a saying called "inherit the wind", which means "Hehe" when I was very young. There is a simple reason. I have seen many bad parents around me. They didn't fulfill their responsibilities as parents, and they didn't know how to love their children.

The female neighbor next door left five underage children and ran away from home for personal enjoyment, leaving the children to fend for themselves. I have seen the hardships of those children growing up, not to mention enjoying basic educational opportunities, even graduating from primary school, and even having no food and clothing. You know, it was already the new China in the 1980s and 1990s!

There is a female classmate in junior high school with a gloomy face and a depressed look. Later, I learned that she had a bad relationship with her mother. Maybe she was in a rebellious period, or maybe her mother was mentally ill. In short, I saw a terrible scene that happened to her: she lifted her hair and had a lot of scars on her scalp, which was left by her mother pulling her hair off. My first reaction at that time was to ask in surprise, "Is she your stepmother? ! "The classmate said no, and the stepmother can forgive her for doing so, but she is her own mother.

Since then, I have a new understanding of the role of mothers, that is, not all mothers love their children as much as my mother does. After being sensible, my mother and I have an excellent relationship. It can be regarded as the best child in the family who can share housework and farm work for his mother. I am also the child who is closest to my mother in personality, social behavior and even personal ability.

A Jane friend read a story about son preference and secretly said that she admired the wonderful mother-daughter relationship between my mother and me. And her mother squeezed her until her mother died of cancer. And for a dead mother, she still can't forgive. When I think of my mother, she only hates and her roots itch.

I am speechless about this. Who said "inherit the wind"? I can understand Jane's unwillingness to forgive and hate. The biggest injury and psychological shadow in life often comes not from strangers, but from the people closest to you, who are most trusted and dependent, such as parents. However, not all parents know how to love their children.

The difference is that there are some misunderstandings and some injuries are not so deep. As I grow older, I know how to forgive, understand and understand. I will make peace with the past and those who have hurt me. And some of them are true, so deeply hurt that that person has been dead for many years and can't forgive his soul.

In my life, there is another person who has been dead for many years, but I can't forgive and I don't intend to forgive. When my father told me that the man had died in a certain year and was 37 years old, I actually cheered loudly: "Good death! Why didn't you die earlier? He should be dead! " This is a kind of heartfelt joy. At the moment I finished these words, I was startled ... the other end of the phone hung up.

Father probably never dreamed that his daughter would curse a dead man like a demon. And that man, not others, is his own brother! I hung up the phone awkwardly, and I cried bitterly, because that man finally died, because I never had to see that demon man again.

Yes, from the age of seven or eight to my forties, I refused to forgive that man's dirty soul, from intimacy at first to fear and preparedness, to old age and death, and finally to his death.

That man almost ruined my normal life course and brought me mental injury that I will never forget completely. I never intended to forgive him. Even if there is another world where we meet again, I will treat him as a stranger and live forever.

Not long ago, I saw an article on the official account of Zhou Chong WeChat, which made my heart surge and I couldn't calm down for a long time. The main idea of the article is to criticize a woman who advocates the incest morality of mother-child sex. The world is really big, and miracles are everywhere! It happened that it was the role of mother that misled her son's values, outlook on life and morality into the most abnormal and morbid human relations ... There were also news reports that in a single-parent father-daughter family, the man who played the role of father was bestial and raped his daughter, which led to her pregnancy.

The relationship between people in the world, even the relationship between mother and child, father and son, mother and daughter, father and daughter, is predestined. It is no exaggeration to say that the existence of some people, for others, is an inevitable disaster and evil.

A netizen once told me that her father hated, ridiculed, attacked and denied her in his life. It was only when she was old and weak and seriously ill that she repented and begged her daughter's forgiveness ... Now, her father has been dead for some time. I wonder if she will forgive her father for what he did to her.

What I want to say is that if you can't forgive, don't forgive. We are not saints, let alone immortals and bodhisattvas, but the most ordinary people. We have an ordinary secular desire, love and hate, love worthy people and hate hateful people!

I hope that in your life, there is no one who refuses to forgive, and there is no soul who refuses to forgive.