People who love themselves are not too bad luck.

My favorite American TV show is Friends, and my favorite character is Phoebe. Although she is strange, she is really interesting. Few people will hate having such a friend around her. Phoebe's humor may be unforgettable, and most people can't learn it, but humor is definitely the lubricant of interpersonal relationships. In recent years, a new form of lubricant has gradually emerged, called self-blackening.

It's easy to be with people who laugh at themselves. They can solve the embarrassment in interesting ways without hurting others. They are neither arrogant nor blx. Making fun of each other with such friends really adds a lot of fun to life.

My friend l is a self-deprecating expert. Last time he took part in a speech teaching activity, the other party wanted L to sing a song before the opening. To tell the truth, L sings too generally and doesn't want to make a fool of himself, but the other person is kind and difficult, and it's hard to refuse if he is too serious. So I started the self-blacking mode. "I sang, equivalent to clear. Everyone was scared away and no one came to class. " Using the method of self-blackening, I not only gave myself a round field, but also gave the other party a retreat. After all, it is for the effect of class, and no one wants to make any mistakes.

People who can make good use of self-deprecating humor have higher EQ. There are many kinds of humor, some people like to make jokes about famous stars or public figures, some people use special associations to contact a newer and funnier topic, some people like to make jokes about friends around them, and some people like to tell jokes simply and directly. However, if these humorous ways are not used properly, it is easy to insinuate others or cause disputes because of disagreement with others. Self-humiliation can avoid such problems, lower one's figure, draw closer one's relationship, and even ridicule is directed at oneself, and may even elevate others invisibly.

There are many beauties of self-humiliation, but it is not just a way of interpersonal communication. Behind the darkness, the true voice inside can be revealed.

Some people say that they like people who are confident and open-minded, but I think it is really possible. Some people are worried about exposing their shortcomings because of inferiority, and they are more inclined to show their good aspects, while confident people will not change their views on themselves because of the defects of a certain trait, even if they take the initiative to confess to others, they can take their time. From this perspective, people who laugh at themselves are more likely to come from confident groups.

But that's not all.

To some extent, the explosion of this "black spot" is a kind of disclosure, but this disclosure is sometimes a kind of self-protection. If you are worried about being poked, it is better to expose yourself first. Now that it has been made public, it means "I know myself", and others can't bear to expose my shortcomings again. For those who have been hacked, everyone will always be more tolerant and caring. Even if there are a thousand words in my heart, there is no way to be merciless to a person who has "reflected".

Moreover, this protection is also reflected in that it helps us avoid the psychological pressure and guilt caused by bad results. There is a girl with a slightly fat figure who always tells herself that she is a big fat girl and no one will want her. Her friend wants to introduce him to a blind date. She doesn't ask what kind of person the other person is, so the argument remains the same. "I am too fat. If the other person is not Tang, there is no chance." The blind date was fruitless, which must be the same as the fat girl expected, because she rationalized the blind date failure before meeting, and found a "conclusive" reason for it-obesity. When she really faced such a result, her heart would not have so many ups and downs. Suicide before bad results appear is to clean up your own failures in advance.

Self-blacking is a flattering self-protection, but if it becomes an automatic habit, it will also subtly affect your behavior style and self-awareness.

Some people worry that if you can't make your friends happy with self-deprecating humor, then your friends may not like you. Those who deliberately sing out of tune and exaggerate dancing in KTV make you laugh, those who dress up as ugly and take photos and send friends to make you vomit, and those who laugh at themselves with various fashions at dinner and wine fairs will always laugh at bloggers at some point. When a friend thinks of you, the first thing that comes to mind may be your excellent sense of shame. You are a comedian in the crowd, and your task seems to be to make everyone happy. It's like jim carrey has become serious and rigid, and someone has to tell the bad reviews that it's not worth the fare. When self-blackness changes from the lubricant of interpersonal relationship to an unconscious habitual "please" or "please", self-blackness is no longer pure, and people who like self-blackness must be painful.

People who laugh at themselves always think they know what they are doing: it's just an exaggeration of one of their less excellent qualities and a few one-liners. It's no big deal. But gradually, the repeated self-blackness seems to gradually melt into the blood, and your cognition of yourself will start to swing, and your evaluation of yourself will go down all the way. Believe when you lie too much, and look down on yourself when you are black. You think you are awake, but you will gradually lose your sight.

Compared with people who judge themselves immoral, I think they are more shy and unwilling to show obvious and fragile, because they are afraid of climbing high and falling hard, and they are also worried that praise is full of slander. So let's lower ourselves, use our immorality to lower others' expectations of ourselves, stop thinking highly of ourselves, and even gradually lose the courage to try again in our immorality. That's it. Just accept this.

Speaking of this, I can't help but feel that people who are used to black are somewhat pitiful.

After all, being black is just a lubricant for interpersonal relationships. It can't decide whether others like you or not, but if you are too dark, you may really dislike yourself.