Log when I am with my mother-in-law

A colleague chatted with me and mentioned the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which reminded me of my late mother-in-law and the bits and pieces when I got along with her more than 20 years ago.

My mother-in-law is from Yuanling, Hunan. She speaks with a strong accent, which is difficult to understand. I can only communicate with her by gesturing while talking. In my mind, mother-in-law is a typical traditional housewife. She has worked hard all her life to do housework and bear the burden of humiliation. She takes care of her family as her duty and takes pleasure in helping others. She has a wide network of contacts, and all her neighbors praise her bodhisattva heart.

Before getting married, my father-in-law was injured by illness and stayed in bed for ten years, relying on her mother-in-law to serve him alone. After the father-in-law left, the eldest daughter-in-law died in a car accident, and her mother-in-law took care of her four-year-old granddaughter until her eldest son remarried. When I got married, she was sixty-five. She insisted on taking care of my baby and confinement, and stayed with me for one year and two months. We have never quarreled or blushed. At the age of sixty-eight, she died suddenly, leaving me with many regrets and treasures.

I don't know if it is the secret of family lineage or other reasons. My mother-in-law is familiar with several kinds of Chinese herbal medicines and can cure some pediatric and gynecological diseases. When she saw a doctor, she didn't take her pulse or prescribe drugs. She just gave drugs directly according to her condition, and she couldn't figure out what was in her bottles. In addition, she still has some superstitions, while drugging, burning paper, muttering to herself, and saying God. No one knows whether it is the role of drugs or the blessing of God.

When I was visiting relatives, I saw with my own eyes that someone came to see my mother-in-law with a "night crying lang" who was not full moon. The mother-in-law opened the baby and said, "Why didn't you send it earlier?" Look, your navel is crying and you have a hernia. "Say that finish, take out a paper bag from a ceramic jar, carefully scoop something with a small spoon, melt it with warm water, pour a little medicine from another bottle and feed it to the children. Then, he patted the child on the forehead three times, blew it and said, "OK, come back tomorrow". For three consecutive days, the child really recovered. Parents gave her mother-in-law a red envelope, and she said it was good, and her mother-in-law accepted it.

One night, I suddenly heard someone knocking at my window, and there came a hurried voice: "Grandma, hurry, hurry, it's going to be born …" My mother-in-law hurriedly picked up a flower bag and went out with people like a fire extinguisher. I was afraid it was not safe for her to go out alone, so I chased her out with a flashlight and helped her walk along the road. I trotted along with her and came to a family. I didn't understand until I saw it. This woman gave birth and asked her mother-in-law to help deliver the baby. I really don't know when I look at it. I was shocked at first sight. Mother-in-law's delivery tools are very simple. There are no surgical instruments, only ordinary scissors, tweezers, cloth strips and some unknown things. The way of disinfection is also very simple, barbecue with an open flame. What is even more incredible is that when the child can't get out, the mother is howling with heartbreak. Mother-in-law actually squeezed hard in the abdomen of the parturient with both hands, or reached in and pulled it out. The bloody scene gave me the creeps. After more than two hours of tossing, the child was finally born and the mother and son were safe. The family is grateful. My mother-in-law packed her things, told some precautions and took me home. After asking, I realized that my mother-in-law was a folk herbal woman and midwife.

It is a good thing to save lives and deliver babies. However, she doesn't speak science and has no qualification to practice medicine. The operation method is primitive, and she handles it completely by experience. What if something goes wrong? I'm sweating for her. Besides, some people came to her to deliver the baby, some to save money, and some to drag out an ignoble existence. The mother-in-law seems to have helped others, but in fact she violated the national policy. After careful consideration, I decided to have a good talk with my mother-in-law. Before chatting, I secretly took a little powder from my mother-in-law's clay pot and took it back to my unit for testing. I understand that the main ingredient is cinnabar. According to the forensic doctor, cinnabar contains mercury and has little toxicity. After taking medicine, it has the effect of calming the nerves in important towns. No wonder mother-in-law used it to treat children crying at night. It seems that my mother-in-law has a certain basis for taking medicine. So, pretending to be curious, I asked my mother-in-law for advice and asked her to teach me herbs and prescribe medicines. My mother-in-law smiled mysteriously and said, you are an educated person. Why do you learn these things? I said, I want to help people like you see a doctor. She said, no way. In the past, my family was poor and I made a living by learning this from others. You have a job, not this. I took the opportunity to say, then I'll give you money to support the elderly. What are you worried about? She said that now is not to make a living, but to help others. I also said that the country now has a family planning policy. If you don't do it well and your life is at stake, you will do bad things with good intentions and break the law. After listening to what I said, she turned pale and vague and didn't understand what she was saying. There was no delivery later. The cinnabar in that jar was soaked in realgar wine, and she drank it occasionally. When she left, the bottle of wine was almost finished.

My mother-in-law is superstitious and has close contacts with "immortals" and "witches". I think it's understandable that she went through rough times, had no education and no job, and had her own spiritual sustenance in her later years and didn't want to interfere. But when my mother-in-law lived with me, I still had no choice. One day when I came home from work, I found smoke billowing in front of my house, and my neighbors were pointing and talking. I looked at it carefully and was very upset. It turned out that my mother-in-law invited a "fox fairy" to set up an altar, burn incense and jump rope at home. I dragged my mother-in-law into the house and advised her: We live in the family courtyard of the government, not the ancestral home. It is very bad to engage in such superstitious activities. Why don't you accept it? The mother-in-law listened and reluctantly cleaned up the mess. Soon, when my mother-in-law was cooking, her right hand trembled, her fingers were numb, and the pot was shoveled off. I realized that the situation was not good, which might be a precursor to a stroke. I had to take her to the hospital for examination. But she was afraid of medical treatment and insisted on not going, saying it was a "fox fairy" and the ceremony was not over yet. Anyway, ask her son to send her back to her hometown to continue her work. In this way, she returned to her hometown with a pious heart to look for "Fox Fairy". Soon, there was bad news, and my mother-in-law went west.

Some people say that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have been natural enemies since ancient times, but I disagree. Being a mother-in-law relationship is a godsend. My mother-in-law is not my natural enemy, but my relatives. In this life, the only person who can wash and cook for me and take care of my diet is my mother-in-law. However, I have no time to do anything for her. In the days when she left, I could only pray for her silently. May the gods bless her peace and happiness in heaven.