Grace is like endless water.

Author's Note: This article was published in the column of The Past on the Grassland in June 5438+February 65438+July 2008 of Northern New Newspaper and the autumn and winter issue of Changhe Literature in 2007. This year marks the 30th anniversary of my grandmother's death, and this article is published again to commemorate my grandparents. In the summer issue of Changhe magazine in 2008, Mr. Liu Feng's commentary "Sunrise in the Long River, Red Victory over Fire" commented on this article and published it together. The full text is attached.

Grandma left us for eighteen years, and that was1August 5, 989. She left in such a hurry that her children and grandchildren were not even mentally prepared. She was eighty years old that year, and she was talkative and clear-headed before she left.

After grandma died, I often missed her. I tried to write her trivia several times, but before I could write the word "grandma", I burst into tears and had to stop writing. Eighteen years passed quickly. Eighteen years, I can't forget my grandmother. Many details of the past years and my life often come to my mind. Man, whether you are 30 or 50 years old, as long as the person who loves you is still alive, you are a child who will never grow up, and you have an enviable blessing!

I always say that grandma is a great woman. Her greatness lies in her shrewdness and foresight! She once changed the fate of our family. Without her old man's house, it would be impossible for our family to get out of the "Shawowo" where generations have lived for many years. Today, I still have to work at sunrise and rest at sunset in that barren land, just like my grandparents.

Grandma was born in 1909. She is a typical little girl. She has been working on her knees all her life, hoeing and cutting land. Foot pain is the pain of her life.

Although the foot-binding cloth bound her feet, it never bound her strong desire to change her destiny!

She doesn't know a word, but she understands the truth of life quite thoroughly. She often said that illiteracy is like a Trojan cow. Only by knowing the words and phrases can you understand this book and get ahead.

1950, the township government was just established, and the first thing to do was to run a school. At that time, my father was fifteen years old, long past the school age, but my grandmother resolutely sent my father to school. Because of father's study, grandpa and grandma make a lot of trouble. Grandpa, who has just turned over, needs labor to take dozens of acres of land and a few cows from the landlord's old wealth! Grandpa has such a son, how can he be allowed to study? Grandpa couldn't figure it out, but grandma insisted on refusing. Selling pots and pans of iron was also necessary for my father to go to school. In this way, my father worked part-time until he graduated from the fifth grade. At that time, fifth-grade students in rural areas were more popular than college students now. After the township leaders knew it, they immediately made the township documents for their father.

My grandmother, a woman with little feet, changed the fate of a man and our family.

Now my father has retired and lived at home for several years. Our four brothers and sisters, plus my two daughters, all went to college, some were studying for graduate students and doctoral students, some worked in Beijing, and some lived abroad.

After my father joined the work, my mother became the only labor force in the family. A kind-hearted rural woman stirred up the beam of the family. However, due to the differences in cultural concepts and the lack of emotional foundation in the past, under the influence of the trend of unconditional divorce in the 1950s, father and mother broke up. My mother, with tears in her eyes and full of grievances, married me 15 kilometers away from our village. I changed my name when I was only two years old.

My stepfather used to be a bachelor, and he was penniless. After mother got married, life became more difficult.

I live a hungry, clothed and helpless life. When I was five or six years old, I became a good helper for my mother. I helped my mother raise a younger brother and a younger sister. I cook, feed pigs, feed donkeys and dig at vegetables. I do everything. In the cold winter, before the cock crows, I go out to collect cow dung (for fuel). All this left a deep impression on me. ...

I left with my mother, and I really miss my grandmother. An old lady with little feet in the country comes to see my mother on foot or riding a donkey every once in a while, and then she comes back to me. Grandma is not less angry with her mother for this. This process lasted for six years. When I went to school, my stepfather sent me to the private school of the production team (in fact, it was just a literacy class). I only went to school for one day. When I came home from school, I sat on my stepfather's two-cake ox cart and scribbled on the tooth box with a piece of chalk. But I didn't go to that school the next day. The story reached grandma's ears, like ants on hot bricks. Grandma came to see her mother and stepfather again, started round after round of difficult "negotiations", and finally reached such an unwritten agreement: as long as I returned to the Wangs, grandma would give up her mount and give her stepfather a donkey.

I went back to the Wangs, and my father's surname was Wang.

At that time, the donkey had just given birth to a foal, and the mother and son were inseparable. The kind stepfather asked to give him all the foals, big and small. He kept them and gave them back to the foals after weaning.

I still remember clearly that a year later, my grandmother and I took the little donkey home: it was a late autumn afternoon, and my grandmother came to my mother's house in advance to do my ideological work. She brought me delicious food, told me the benefits of going to school and asked me if I wanted to go to school. "Shall we go to school with grandma?" Wait a minute. Of course I said yes. I'd like to go. "My brother will cry when he leaves tomorrow. What will you do if he won't let you go? " Grandma had anticipated these problems for a long time, and she asked my advice. I said, "I'll hide in the Artemisia forest in front of my house."

At that time, there were many children in rural areas, and parents went out to work every day. How could they take care of their children? Most of them are dolls. Look at dolls, and dolls coax dolls. I am three years older than my brother, and my brother can't live without me. Wherever he goes, he cries when he sees me. We two brothers are inseparable!

Grandma's exhortation is in my mind. The next morning is the day when my brother and mother parted. I ran to the front of the house early and hid in Artemisia. I saw my mother carrying my brother behind her back and sobbing. My brother climbed on his mother's back and cried his eyes out ... I heard my brother crying and shouting, "I want my brother, I want my brother ..."

Grandma pulled the newly weaned foal and cried endlessly. She looked back at her mother who gave birth to him and raised him step by step, and bid farewell to the familiar grassland that made him want to stay.

At the age of eight, I don't know what language to use to comfort my mother and brother. All I can do is not look up at my mother and brother again, for fear of being seen by my mother and brother.

It only took one night to go back to grandma's house. The next morning, my grandmother sent me to Tonggelang, a school where my father once attended, more than ten kilometers away from home. My first teacher was Liu Qinxue. He took good care of me and arranged my life. As I was a month late, I remember that I had finished learning Pinyin and had begun to learn "Sun, Moon, Water, Fire, Mountain, Stone, Field and Earth". In order to make up for my pinyin, Teacher Liu helped me make up lessons. I remember that I only got 20 points in the first exam. Faced with this score, I cried a lot. In the second semester, my academic performance was among the best, and I sat on the first "top spot" of the monitor.

At that time, my father worked in the city, and there were only my grandparents and me in the country. My grandparents are almost 70 years old, and there is really no labor at home. In addition, the Cultural Revolution brought unprecedented plunder to the educational front. I decided to go home and help my grandparents herd cattle.

Grandma advised me to continue studying all day, and my father sent me several letters to let me finish junior high school. In this way, that autumn, I dramatically returned to my mother's Nalin Xili Middle School and spent two years together. When I graduate from the seventh grade, I will catch up with the resumption of classes, and all my grades will not be upgraded. This time, I decided to go home and farm. Until now, I don't even have a "certificate" for graduating from junior high school!

197 1 year, my father was transferred from the People's Armed Forces Department of Ejinhoro Banner to the People's Armed Forces Department of Dalat Banner. 1973, because my stepmother gave birth to a child, my grandmother waited in the flag for the next month, leaving me and my grandfather at home. Autumn is a busy farming season. Grandpa and grandson must herd cattle, harvest crops and store forage for animals for the winter. They are very busy. One day, grandpa said he wanted me to go to Daqi to find grandma and ask her to come back soon. This is the first time in my life that I have been away from home. I walked dozens of kilometers to Xinjie, and then took the shuttle bus to the flag.

When I came to my father's house, my father said that my grandmother had left home the next day. In this way, grandma and grandson missed the opportunity to meet. Then my father told me not to go back, but to find some odd jobs in Daqi first, and let me go to Zhangtieyingzi Nursery in Dalat Banner to "go to the countryside" on1month 15. At that time, I knew nothing about going to the countryside. I didn't eat anything or do anything in the countryside. ! Little did my father turn my household registration into an educated youth in the city. I took part in the unprecedented "going to the countryside" movement and accepted the "re-education" of poor peasants and middle peasants.

1975, hundreds of "educated youth" in the whole banner began to return to the city, and 99% of the people in the banner were assigned to enterprises with national brands. Only I was lucky enough to be selected as a national cadre by the organization department of the Flag Committee.

I owe my luck entirely to my grandmother. If it weren't for her old man's house, I might not go to school. Even if there is, I can't go to junior high school. Even if you go to junior high school, you can't change your household registration. It's grandma, a woman with little feet who has gone through many vicissitudes and hardships, who has changed my fate again!

Grandma is a witty, brave and humorous person. I remember that during the Cultural Revolution, my neighbor He was often singled out for criticism. He Wen Ming is a "rich farmer". In order to torture him, several gold ingots were hidden at home. He was killed by the rebels and then poured cold water on him. Later, he left a lifelong disability-the lame. One day, grandma heard that He Wenming was not thinking about tea and rice and wanted to "commit suicide for the people."

At that time, grandma couldn't bear it, was filled with indignation, and ignored her personal safety. She brought a box and some steamed buns from home and went to the scene of the criticism meeting alone. The whole audience was dumbfounded. I don't know what she is going to do. Grandma stood beside him, pointing to him. Listen to me, xxx said that eating is the first important thing. You refuse to eat, and you want to kill yourself. Give me an honest meal first, and then confess honestly. "Grandma said, and took out a few corn from the photo frame.

Who dared to disobey the supreme instructions at that time? I don't know where grandma learned the phrase "Eating is the first thing". Sure enough, this sentence is very useful, and someone immediately came up to untie He Wenming. So the rebels watched helplessly as he ate. Some people are unhappy, but there is nothing they can do. Grandma clearly heard someone mumbling, but deliberately shouted, "eat slowly, you are suffocating!" " Choke to death, the next meeting, the masses will not fight. "

In fact, grandma knows how many gold ingots there are in his family, because his brother is my uncle and grandma's son-in-law. When the two brothers split up, each of them got three gold ingots. Grandma was worried that Wen Ming would poke out the family. Before leaving, grandma went to He and said sharply, "You have to tell me honestly and don't talk nonsense." Grandma gave He Wenming a wink when people weren't paying attention. The subtext behind it is "I can't admit it even if I die."

Grandma's move made the rebels aware, but they couldn't catch it. Later, someone tried to label my grandmother a "royalist" (in fact, they didn't even know what an emperor was) and threatened to criticize my grandmother. However, with her grandmother's prestige and personality charm, she miraculously shocked this group of "February 28th" boys and saved the day. No one dares to touch the old lady's finger.

Those absurd days later became my grandmother's jokes. She often tells us this story. He said that she would take part in the criticism for three purposes. First, she is afraid that He Wenming really can't stand "being isolated from the people"; Second, I am afraid that Wen-ming He will really hand over those ingots; Third, people always say that our family is not active and is a good person, so we should also show it.

Grandma is a helpful and understanding person. Neighbors should always look for grandma when they encounter major problems, contradictions and disputes. Grandma always makes big things small and becomes a well-known and boastful woman. Grandma is generous when anything happens to anyone. In that era of eating and drinking less, she never let people go home empty-handed. It is often three in the Zhang family and five in the Li family; Li's bowl of noodles and a liter of rice are all poverty alleviation funds. As long as she has them, she will never be stingy.

Grandma takes good care of her children. My four brothers and sisters were brought up by my grandmother alone. At that time, both parents worked in the city, and the three sisters were sent to their grandmother's house in the country as soon as they were weaned. My sisters grew up together. For a time, my grandmother was two at a time, but she couldn't help working for the production team by mistake. Every time I go out on business, my grandmother will take out the white donkey I brought back, put the wallet on the donkey's back, and put a sister on it, so that she can drive her sister to work in a very special way.

When I was in middle school in Nalin Xili, my stepfather often rode a "red flag" bike around the people's commune. After reading it, I really loved it "beyond endurance" and asked my stepfather to give me a ride. My stepfather readily agreed, which made me fascinated by cycling. At this point, "bike" can't hover in my mind. When I came home from school, I told my grandmother without saying anything. My grandparents sold a pile of grass at home and took out what little savings they had. * * * gave me 100 yuan, and I took the money to buy a second-hand "flying pigeon" for my classmates. It was a sensation at school and in my hometown, and my envy was a hundred times stronger than driving back to BMW now, which really made me scenery for a while.

Because of my special experience, my grandmother cares about me the most in her life. After I just got married and started my own business, as long as my husband and wife visit her old man's house, she will always put something in your hand or bag when she leaves, for fear that you will be hungry and frozen. Grandma's actions always make me embarrassed, even with tears in my eyes. 1983, I was admitted to an adult college for the first time. Every time I come back, I always visit my grandmother at my father's house. As soon as he entered the door, the old man couldn't sit still. I quickly lit a fire, dialed onions and garlic, and hurriedly cooked me some of the most precious poached eggs at that time. ...

This is the greatest maternal love in the world!

This kind of feeling, this kind of love, this kind of flesh-and-blood affection that is constantly haunted by dreams is the most precious feeling of mankind! This beautiful complex of affection, love and love will be pale and powerless in any language!

Grandma is a restless person. 1976, her grandparents, who were nearly ancient, were taken to the city by her father. They should have spent their old age at leisure, but she worked hard all her life and couldn't sit still for a moment, running all the housework. She also opened up a piece of land in the yard to grow vegetables and raise chickens. Her father was afraid that she would be too tired to do it, but she said that rural people were used to it and couldn't sit still. In this way, she decorated a small yard like a small garden, colorful and full of vitality. The family not only solved all the vegetables, but also helped the neighbors. A dozen old hens clucked around grandma's yard.

Grandma knows that she is old, and she is afraid of the day when she can't do it. Work is like a race against time. She has unpacked and washed the bedding and clothes of several generations in her family and folded them neatly. We are still using the things left by the old man, the quilt is still there, and the mattress is still there. What you see and people you think of are often sad and full of emotions.

Grandma often tells us that we should be careful in life, and we should never be poor in clothes and food. Don't "have food, don't move". Her old man is a good housekeeper, and she can live a good life even if she is poor. During those difficult days, my family never stopped eating and couldn't talk about it. One year there was a famine and there was no harvest. Grandparents relied on their hard-working hands to climb shovels, cut cotton sheds and beat alkali onions to raise cattle and feed people, which made us have a hard time. When I was in junior high school, half of my dry food came from the seeds of rape and alkali onion. That bitter taste is really hard to swallow until you are hungry. However, it is those things that are hard to swallow that feed us.

Grandma is gone, how desolate the home is without her! I hope grandma can come into my dream, but I can't see her old man's face clearly in my dream. Fortunately, before she died, I asked a friend of mine to record a photo of my grandmother. Later, I carved it into a disc. Whenever I miss it, I take it out and watch it again. My grandmother's voice echoed in my ears again, and her smile was still so kind. ...

Grandma, it is my greatest happiness to be your grandson all my life! If there is an afterlife, you will still be my grandmother!

Attachment: Teacher Liu Feng's comment in the summer issue of Changhe magazine in 2008: "The sunrise on a long river is better than the fire". The full text is as follows:

Grace is like endless water (Wang Weidong, autumn and winter 2007) is an unforgettable essay. The author pours out his true feelings and expresses his true feelings in the first person tone, which makes people feel emotional and can't help but sing for it. This article, in terms of its layout, belongs to flashback structure. Explain the reasons for writing at the beginning, and describe grandma's ordinary and great life in four parts: (1) Summarize that grandma is a great woman; (2) Narrating the process of grandma's struggle against fate in order to change the fate of her father and "me" in a difficult environment; (3) Write about grandma's behavior (helping others, about children and grandchildren, managing the family diligently); (4) Write that when Grandma died, "I" recorded butterflies for Grandma. At the end of the memory, the author echoes the opening "endless happiness" with "the greatest happiness", and the structure is relatively complete. The organic combination of narration, discussion and lyricism is the main feature of this writing: the narration is clean and smooth, lyrical until the point falls, and the discussion is just right, especially the author's deep emotional reasoning on key points, which makes the expression and discussion blend and the truth is consistent. The use of folk dialect proverbs is concise, vivid, true and cordial, which brings readers closer. For example, when grandma talks about "culture", she says "native ox wooden horse" and "knowing books and understanding reason"; When writing that grandma is a strong woman, she said, "Blow feelings and be reasonable"; Write grandma and the "28" boys, with "no one moved a finger"; Write about my grandmother cooking for me when I came back from college, using the words "shooting a meteor at the horse", "burning fire and beating charcoal" and "peeling onions and mashing garlic"; It is also used to educate children and grandchildren to be thrifty and keep the house.

Prose pays attention to density and detail. Although the author describes my father in detail in the part of "Changing the Fate of the Family", there is still room for improvement in the details of the full text: the three natural paragraphs of Tong Gelang's going to primary school, going to the countryside and returning from college can be omitted; And the word "I" in "Revolt after class" must be deleted, otherwise I have to explain the reason for going back to my hometown. Grandma traded her donkey for "me" because she hoed the ground with her little feet, and the "negotiation" with the "February 8" boy should be more detailed. Because only by describing the characteristics of working with little feet can we dig out grandma's typical character in a typical environment. As for "negotiation" and "contest", it is the ordinary grandmother who shows extraordinary generosity. These two fragments should not only be written in detail, but also be portrayed through various descriptive techniques, because they are the places to reveal grandma's firm belief in the fate of "I" and her chivalrous, just and brave personality characteristics. It can be seen that the lack of description has lost a weapon to explore the character's character; On the contrary, it can make the artistic conception of prose by going up one flight of stairs.

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