About obsession

The moment I sit on the crowded subway every morning, I often can’t help but question whether my idea of ??living in a big city is right. But whenever my family persuaded me to return to my hometown, I would refuse without hesitation.

Many people ask me why I came to Beijing and why I stayed in Beijing. I think everything comes down to the word "obsession".

"Obsession" is originally a Buddhist term, which refers to persisting in something and not being able to detach it.

Buddha said: Obsession is a kind of suffering. One flower and one world, one leaf and one Tathagata. When spring comes, the flowers become green, and when autumn comes, the leaves fall.

The Buddha said: If the relationship is shallow, we will separate; if the relationship is deep, we will come together. Letting go of obsession is practice.

However, I think "obsession" is an attitude. It is proof of the meaning of my life. Since it is an obsession, it must never be forgotten, entangled for a long time, and it is so deep in the bones that people cannot give up easily. I secretly believe that there is no need to suppress obsessions as long as they are not harmful.

Stick to the feeling deep in your heart, stick to it silently, never give up, never change, work hard for it, fight for it, wait for it, spring goes and autumn comes, flowers fade and bloom...

Trying to recall, the first obsession in life is to listen to stories. Bedtime stories were my favorite when I was a child. I always pestered my parents to tell them before going to bed, and there was no exception. It's interesting to think about it. There are only a few stories that my parents can tell at a time, but after listening to them over and over again, I don't feel bored until I know how to tell them. If I listen too much, I will ask my mother to tell new stories and make them up. Sometimes I fall asleep while telling them, which is really hard on my mother.

The second obsession seems to be about friendship. When I was young, I was introverted and didn't know how to get along so quickly like other classmates. When she made her first friend in school, she was as cautious as if she had found a treasure, and she thought deeply that she would become her only good friend in school. When I see her talking and laughing with other classmates, I will get sulky silently by myself. This bad mood ended after she moved and changed schools.

Slowly, as you grow older and experience more and more things, the old obsessions will be replaced by new obsessions one by one.

The obsession that new books must be wrapped immediately.

The obsession with not finishing homework and not eating.

The obsession with being the first in the class in Chinese.

The obsession with books that cannot be folded.

Obsession with collecting complete sets of textbooks and novels.

Obsession with traveling to Tibet.

The obsession that graduate students must come to Beijing.

The obsession with traveling around the world and opening cafes and inns.

…

These obsessions, big and small, are both good and bad. Some bring motivation to my life, and some bring trouble. But no matter what. These obsessions are the souvenirs of my growth. It is precisely because of them that I know what to hold on to and what to let go of.

For bad obsessions, if you don’t know how to let go, just live with it. Maybe this is a temporary dilemma, but don’t be imprisoned by it. Try to change your mood and accept it, and it will no longer torture you. There is nothing that cannot be overcome. After all the emotions are over, sleep and wake up. Tomorrow is a new day.

So, regarding obsession, I don’t reject it. When you move towards the unknown future, when you find that the world you have seen has turned into experience, chatting and laughing, the remaining heaviness only accounts for a small corner, and is melted away by one wave after another day by day, year by year. Become the past, become the past...