Humorous sentences

1. I have more than 80 kinds of spicy strips. It's not too late to consider making friends with me.

I finally got used to my appearance, got a haircut and changed my ugly method.

3. Be sure to use the right ear when listening to the results, because the left ear is close to the heart and may die suddenly.

As long as you want it, as long as I have it, I won't give it to you anyway.

Everyone seems to be in love, leaving me to build it alone.

6. Gradually, you all went to different cities, and my bosom friends spread all over the world. The revival of the empire is just around the corner.

7. Stupidity is contagious, so don't come near me, I'm witty.

8. My period is like a wolf. When I leave, I always shout, I will definitely come back.

It's not like you to be so kind to you, because you may have been my pet pig in your last life.

10. In the morning, the alarm clock started to go crazy, the quilt suddenly hugged me, the pillow sang me a lullaby, and then I fell asleep.

1 1. Every time you press the home button on your mobile phone, it's like doing CPR on your mobile phone.

12. When I am angry, you must coax me and buy me food, and I will kill you when I am full.

13. Don't panic when your life is not satisfactory; Looking at my wallet and savings, I cried.

14. The prince was lost in thought with a pair of fallen glass shoes.

15. Life is like fighting landlords. One is a gang and the other is an enemy.

16. With a book in your left hand and a lighter in your right hand, you can't click anywhere!

17. After the English listening test that year, I realized a truth: some words are only for people who understand.

18. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made me heartache and tired.

19. In English class, the teacher asked us to pronounce the word apple, and the whole class tacitly called iphone.

20. I fell asleep when I dropped my cell phone in the middle of the night, so I picked up my slippers!

2 1. The north wind is blowing, and the autumn wind is cool. Whose wife kept her room? If you are in trouble, I will help you. I live next door. My name is Wang.

22. My sorrow is nothing more than lying flat-chested with my stomach still there.

23. I didn't show you my hand during the monthly exam. I really thought I slept for nothing in class.

24. I didn't like to eat when I was a child, which led to my short stature now; I love eating now, which makes me fat and short.

25. Don't rob me. Although I can't be coquettish, I can wrestle.

26. Someone said I was ugly, but I smiled. You've never met my friend.

27. Match more boys and girls in the class, so that you can save half the money in the future.

28. After knowing you, a sense of intellectual superiority arises spontaneously.

29. I belong to Shenyang before drinking, and Shenyang belongs to me after drinking.

30. I said I liked Li Bai's poems better. Lu You got angry, and then my family couldn't surf the Internet.

3 1. Why fall in love? Isn't the mobile phone fun? Or is the essential balm not easy to use?

When I talk about my dream, my eyes sparkle. I want to be such a person.

33. I like you, like your mother hitting you, unreasonable.

I have begun to study how to walk into the classroom on the first day of school.

35. Riding a donkey and singing a hymn does not mean that bald people always lose their hair.

36. I can eat, which does not mean that I am a foodie, but that I am good at raising.

37. Good-looking people have youth, and we only have universities.

38. Your future depends on your dreams now, so go back to sleep.

Every time I have a Chinese class and answer questions, the whole class is always silent.

40. I don't care what's wrong with you, don't worry, I'm too lazy to care about you.

4 1. This day is so boring. When a little wind blows, I want to move.

42. My cancer is very deep. The doctor said it was terminal and hopeless.

43. Stop fighting against the world and be my little bastard.

44. I will always like you until I get full marks in math.

45. I don't want to do anything today, just want to be handsome in peace.

46. I don't want a dog or a cat. I want to raise you. After all, raising pigs made me rich.

47. One white covers three ugliness, one high covers five ugliness, one thin covers seven ugliness, one rich covers all ugliness, and one fat destroys everything!

48. The fox in ancient Kyubi no Youko had nine lives and died in foreign politics and historical geography.

49. Set a small goal first, such as marrying ZhangJike this year.

50. Now the tears you shed when you make up your homework are the water that enters your mind when you surf.

5 1. Your face is so big, you must be the person who gives me the most face in the world.

52. God is fair. He let you spend Singles' Day and won't let you spend Valentine's Day!

53. Practice has proved that if you can't mix well, you will swear not to go back.

54. Do your homework, do it all night, sit all night and do a page.

55. Wallet, what happened to your wallet? Answer my wallet. Why have you lost weight again? Wake up.

56. Book me two tickets to heaven. I want to talk to old Yue.

57. People have a lot of backgrounds, but I only have my back.

58. If you don't want to answer my phone, just say so, and don't always let China Mobile say sorry for you.

59. I haven't lost weight because of your "take care" for so many years.

60. Self-timer is such a thing: three points are doomed, and seven points depend on the filter.

6 1. When I was a child, I always turned off the lights and rushed to bed at high speed!

If there is an afterlife, I must be nervous, because if I leave, you will be brain-dead.

63. Those hurdles are all because of your short legs!

Please don't call me black, it's to protect you secretly.

65. This kind of thing, taking a nap, really still sleeps soundly on the school table.

66. Please read aloud: When you lie on a plum tree, you smell the flowers, but when you lie on a branch, you hate it. Invited to smell the wet rubble lying in the spring green.

67. Don't bother me unless you buy me snacks. Baby's time is precious.

68. Because I broke up with the quilt this morning, the quilt is very cold to me now.

69. Sometimes when you drink a little wine, you will always toss and turn in the cold moonlight. Why did I come to earth?

70. Don't flatten your mouth, I'll want to bite it, because it's too sausage-like.

7 1. I won't open it in a hurry after receiving the courier. I think I have learned to be reserved.

72. You are like love in the palm of your hand. If you close your hands, you won't suffocate …

73. I have to fight with my bed every day, and I usually lose.

74. Every time I get into bed after quarreling with others, I know how to scold at that time.

75. I seem to be allergic to paper, and I feel uncomfortable every time I do my homework.

76. He doesn't care what your problem is. Don't worry, I'm too lazy to talk to you.

77. When I feel deeply inferior to my appearance, I think it's nothing. When I get rich, I'm destined to be yours. When I have money, I will go for plastic surgery. The doctor looked at me and said that money can't solve all problems.

78. If you are dissatisfied with your present job and feel that your career has reached the bottleneck, then go for further study. In this way, after graduation, you will understand that your previous failures seem to have nothing to do with your education.

79. The rich man said in an interview that it is hard for you to imagine how much I suffered when I was young. I worked as a scalper, porter and smuggler ... Reporter: We have all seen these experiences make you successful. The rich man said, no, I finally married a rich wife.

80. As long as you persist in self-study, study hard, have a correct attitude and endure loneliness every day, the final victory will definitely belong to those who play well in the examination room.

8 1. What do young people do for a living? First-class young people rely on birth, second-class young people rely on relationships, third-class young people rely on talent, fourth-class young people rely on hard work, fifth-class young people play literature and art, sixth-class young people play games, travel is not good, watch American dramas.

82. Only capable people will be regarded as pure technicians; But only social flattery, will be considered to have no real talent; Therefore, in order to stand out in the unit, the most important thing is the relationship.

When I was asked to go to school for the first time, I actually refused. No, I'll go if you want me to. I told my mother that I refused. I want to be the woman of One Piece, and I am embarrassed to go to school. My mother told me to learn to add stunts in class. Duang is handsome and cool. After adding it for a while, I will also study duang, which is very NB. I want you to see that I was like this when I was at school, and you will be like this when you are at school.

84. Q: What generation gaps have you encountered? Answer: Fill in the blanks with the related words of primary school Chinese questions: Hou: He would rather sacrifice his life than betray the organization. H: He was afraid of sacrificing his own life, so he betrayed the organization. Later: He would rather betray the organization than sacrifice his own life. Even if he sacrificed his life, he would betray the organization. Hou: He sacrificed his life in vain and forgot to betray the organization.

85. You are patriotic, dedicated and have backbone. Don't speak ill of others behind their backs, and don't frame others. You are the least dirty person in the world. You have a high moral character and will never hit anyone. You are honest, kind and beautiful. Forgive what I just said against my will.

86. Happiness is that you are a vegetarian and I eat meat, letting you know that you have to struggle; You ride a bike and I ride a car, so you are much healthier; You sleep in bed, I sleep in bed, and I help you. You pay for my guests, and the money-making engine needs to be warmed up; You drink water and I drink soup, which is dull and has a good time; You work and I am at leisure, and you inherit the glorious tradition.

87. It's over. I miss you because your eyes are blue in the middle of the night, you forget to give money when you go shopping, and pork stewed vermicelli is no longer greedy. += Not difficult. Zhao Benshan was regarded as Sun Nan, and I cried that RMB had turned into dollars.

88. On the long road of life, whoever takes a few steps will have to stay with his family and get along with his lover; There is a cook at home, a good-looking one at work, a lovely one outside and a missing one in the distance; Keep two, keep one, develop three, four, five, six, seven!

89. Pay all wages, including unplanned wages; All leftovers are contracted, including spoilage; Do all the housework, including mother-in-law's; Thoughts are reported every day, including a flash of thought.

90. Today's confession was rejected. Reasons for girls' refusal: We are not from the same world, and we are not suitable. I want to say: am I a fucking Martian? Not suitable for earth people?

9 1. My greatest skill is to use cheap things and expensive effects. Such as cameras, microphones, and yourself.

92. Nothing that can be solved with money is a problem, but I am poor.

93. Chickens refuse to make their meat unpalatable.

94. It's useless to think that others can't find me if I'm invisible. A woman like me is as dazzling as a firefly in the dark, no matter where she is.

95. Nowadays, people drink a little wine to install Bi. Keep talking. I just drank a pound and a half of beer. Is your stomach a sewer?

96. Since the holiday, washing your face every day has nothing to do with me.

97. The computers at home are all very slow, so they crashed soon.

98. Homework Jun, Gong Ling has been destroyed. She has lost her mind. Today, you and I made up our minds.

99. Don't tell me that you are single dog. Dogs are dead at your age.

100. Watching sleeping pills with different tastes walk around the podium every day.