A wife can't do housework or cook. Is she a good wife?

In China's traditional concept, a virtuous wife should first keep the house in order.

There is food at home, and the home is clean and tidy, which is a hard indicator of whether the parents' generation is competent for a woman.

That's my mother. She's been a housewife for almost her whole life.

But now, this traditional concept is gradually falling apart, and more and more women don't cook or even do housework.

What do men usually think when their wives don't cook or do housework?

He said, tycoon, are you free? Let me discuss a problem with you.

I said, you said.

He said, who cooks and does housework in your family? I see you writing an article, as if you were cooking breakfast and cleaning the house.

I said, I haven't cooked breakfast for a long time recently, and I don't have time. If we clean the house, we will do it together. Whoever has time will do it. She used to do this almost all the time. After having children, sometimes she doesn't have time, so I do more.

She said, what about cooking?

I said, I do both, but now because I don't have time, if her mother doesn't come, we usually buy food or have time to make some by ourselves.

He said, this means that you will all do it, right?

I said, yeah, why?

He said, daughter-in-law, we have been married for more than a year, and we won't cook unless we do housework. My mother told me this very seriously yesterday. She was very angry and thought I married a big lady.

I said, what do you think?

He said, to be honest, I'm a little speechless. Why did I find such a girl who can't do three things? I never thought so much when I was in college. I only know that her parents spoil her at home and don't let her do any work, but I didn't expect to be so spoiled that I couldn't even wash my own clothes and asked me to help her wash them.

I said, she can't wash things, which you didn't know at school?

He said, I really don't know. At that time, there were washing machines in the school.

I mean, when you were together, she didn't tell you this?

He said that at that time, I was busy falling in love. Who can talk about daily necessities?

I said, so you are not satisfied with your wife now?

He said, I can't say I'm not satisfied. I just think you should at least study. I don't think she can take care of herself at all Do you think it is normal to ask me how to cook instant noodles? It is no exaggeration to say that we have never had a fire at home more than five times since we got married 1 year. Every day, we only take out food. As long as I don't put the bowl away like instant noodles, I can put it on the coffee table.

I said, can you cook?

He said, yes, the very simple kind, usually do, we just don't do it.

I said, have you told your wife about doing housework and cooking?

He said, I mentioned it, and she was angry and asked me why I didn't do it.

I said, her question is not unreasonable.

He said, I'll do it. Now I cook all these at home, but I can't cook them because the dishes I cook are not delicious. But she can't help me share it at all. She won't and doesn't want to learn.

I said, does she know your complaint?

He said, I know, but I still go my own way. My mother went to my house that day and got angry when she saw the house in a mess. When she got home, she called me and said, let me talk to my other half and say that we can't afford a big lady at home.

I said, do you have money?

He said, generally speaking, parents are civil servants, just spoil her.

I said, there are many young people like you after marriage, and there are many such examples around me. Either neither side cares, and no one does it. Find a part-time worker and hire an aunt. Or at least one of the two sides compromised and took on housework and cooking.

He said, do you think it is normal for girls not to do housework or cook at all?

I said, to be honest, if it were me, it would be more or less unacceptable. You don't have to do it often, but at least you must have basic self-care ability, unless you are a daughter and someone helps you.

He said that what he said was such a thing. Obviously, she is a child of an ordinary family. I have to pretend to have all kinds of superiority. I get angry when I think about it, but I don't know how to change her. It's really depressing

I said that marriage is a matter for two people, and home is also a home for two people. If she really has this home in her heart, sooner or later you will reach an agreement on doing housework and cooking. Of course, this needs a process. More importantly, you should get rid of some male chauvinism and your mother's influence on you. This era is not what it used to be. As long as you are willing and have enough time, it is common for boys to do housework and cook.

He said, yes, my mother has a great influence on me. She always said that it is natural for women to do housework and cook. Men are the masters outside and women are the masters inside.

I said, normal, that's how women of that era came over. You'd better calm down and communicate with your partner slowly. After all, you have only been married for a year, which is normal for young people. Since childhood, they are spoiled at home, and it takes a running-in period for two people to really live together.

He said, well, thank you for your advice. You can only change it slowly.

I said, in the final analysis, your life is still your own, and you can come as comfortable as you want. If you all think it's normal not to clean and cook, and you all end up comfortable, there's nothing wrong with that. Your mother's advice is for reference only.

Can you cook? Would you like to clean the housework? How do you divide your work in your family? Share it with everyone in the message area ~