20220708 Listening notes: Take off the flowers: It’s time to brush up on the questions, my friend!

Since the publication of "Methods of Communication", one of the questions I have been asked the most is: "Sister Hua, how can I learn the soft skill of communication thoroughly?" I know, this question In fact, I want to ask: "Is there any shortcut to learning communication?" I feel that if you want to learn it thoroughly, there is really no shortcut; but there are indeed ways to avoid taking the wrong path.

The method I will give you can be summed up in three steps.

First, raise awareness. For example, the understanding of communication can be improved from the level of "communication is talking" to the level of "treating communication as an infinite game". For another example, the understanding of listening can be improved from the level of "listening means being polite" to the level of "it can trigger mirror neurons, making people feel emotional, and thus behave more peacefully and friendly".

Because cognitive level greatly affects the efficiency of our learning. To improve cognition, to be honest, it can be accomplished through a lot of reading.

Second, save methods. For example, after reading "Methods of Communication", we know that we can use the "double-line blocking" method to break the ice, that the best way to praise others is to "chasing the light", and that when a good person doesn't know how to say no, just say yes. "Modify what we have learned"... The more specific and rich this method is accumulated, the more control and sense of accomplishment we will have over communication, and the more willing we will be to initiate a new round of exploration.

The accumulation of methods determines the continuity of our learning. If you want to take this step well, it is not enough to just read books, because there are a large number of practical methods that have not yet been "turned into" books. Therefore, I suggest you come to "Communication Training Camp", spend some time, listen to lectures and practice systematically, and accurately master the methods I have developed for you.

Third, answer questions like crazy. This is the last and most important step - what we often say from quantitative change to qualitative change and applying what we have learned all happens in this step - it is to "substitute" what you have learned in books and training camps into real scenes. During the interview, you practice and verify like crazy, just like "answering questions". You repeatedly test your thinking and hone your skills in various communication scenes.

After taking this step, what you have learned and thought will become your true ability to "grow" in yourself, to open roads in the mountains and build bridges in the water.

The three steps mentioned above can be summed up in nine words, but none of them are easy to do, and none of them are shortcuts. But the good news is that the skills learned through these steps are like swimming or driving. Once mastered, they will never turn back.

By the way, since this book was published, there is a new thing in my life - "good news". Almost every day I receive good news from classmates who studied communication with me.

Some students found in the competition organized by their unit that they had already studied the defense scene and the judges' questions in "Communication Methods". Of course, the result was that she won by a wide margin and became the marketing director of her city from the "captain" managing a business grid. A classmate also told me that since she learned that she should often "chasing light" on those around her, she used this method to praise her mother-in-law, which was always on target and the family atmosphere became relaxed and happy. Another classmate who leads a team in the company left a message for me: Since he systematically learned the communication methods of managers, he has launched nine small projects to improve communication in his team, one after another, and finally found a leader. The team’s sense of accomplishment.

These are the "good news" sent back by the students after they have truly learned and practiced "Methods of Communication". It sounds exciting and very satisfying. However, do you know what is the most frequent feedback that my classmates give me?

It's "Sister Hua, you said it very well, but, my situation is a little different."

This is really a real problem that makes people scratch their heads - yes, communication is so complicated, and everyone’s working and living environment is also different; the interference of any small variable may affect the final communication effect.

What should we do?

This is why on the first anniversary of the publication of "Methods of Communication", I want to launch the booklet "Selected Collection of Communication Questions".

In the year 2021-2022 after the publication of "Methods of Communication", I answered a large number of "real questions" about communication from my classmates online.

I call them "real questions" because they all take place in various real and even strange communication scenarios, which I was far from being able to cover and touch in the book. Putting them all together, I found: In less than a year, I accumulated more than 2 million words of question and answer materials, which far exceeded the volume of the book "Methods of Communication" itself.

The "real questions" from the students' daily work and life often give me the feeling of opening up my mind. Some of them are warm - "Hey Sister Hua, I just received a customer, but after the customer's leader knew that I was born in the 1990s, he kept calling me a kid. I feel that the communication distance between us has suddenly widened. , I'm a little passive, what should I do?" Others are "bloody" - "Sister Hua, I am the child's father, the child is naughty, and the child's mother spanks him in anger. Now both of us are very excited. I’m crying. I’m still on a business trip. How should I communicate with my child’s mother at this critical moment?”

You see, each of these questions is really hot, bloody, and special. It is valuable, and in the process of answering these real questions, I realized how many good answers there are in the world, waiting for a real question.

I would like to thank all the students who asked me questions - it was your real questions that pushed me to not slack off or relax in the past year, to continue learning and thinking, so that my own gains are Huge.

One day I asked myself: Can this kind of gain from being "driven" by problems and learning to think driven by problems be able to serve more people? Since we already know that learning to communicate thoroughly requires "crazy questions", why not give everyone a "book of real questions"?

So, this "Selected Collection of Communication Questions" is a gift to you from me and all the students who learn communication from me. All the questions here are real questions from classmates; in order to protect personal privacy information, I have concealed the identities of the classmates who asked the questions. But the question is true, and my answer is certainly true. After students implemented this strategy, it really worked.

Starting from today, as long as anyone purchases the book "Methods of Communication", this "Selected Collection of Communication Questions" will be given to you. When you open this "Selected Collection of Real Questions on Communication", you will see that it includes:

1. The most representative real problems that workplace people face in their daily work and life;

< p>2. The communication methods and operational tips I gave for these issues;

3. Our teaching assistant team has accumulated more communication cases and developed more specific communication tools.

Finally, what I want to tell you is that learning the soft skill of communication can help people break away from the entanglements and restrictions between each other, and solve various problems related to people in a more detached way. problem. In the process of growth and learning in the past year, I summarized it as the "4L" strategy:

Learn: Always remain open and achieve self-renewal and iteration through learning.

Link: No matter what situation you are in, you can become a "connector" and promote the constructive development of things.

Light: Communicators become their own light source, lighting up others, making people visible, and giving people a sense of existence and accomplishment.

Lead: Become a leader that naturally emerges from the crowd, because you can find the direction of breakthrough through learning, and you can unite people through connection and lighting. This is a true leader.

One day, when I was studying, I was shocked by this sentence: Figure out what you are willing to die for, and then live for it every day. In Chinese Zen culture, its counterpart is: you can die at any time, but you must survive step by step.

As for myself, I think: If because of my work, more people can learn to communicate thoroughly and have the 4L abilities of learn, link, light, and lead, they will become more sincere, If it is magnanimous, passionate and brave, then I am willing to fight for it to the end of my life, and of course I am more willing to live for it every day.