Why do some parents now prefer to spend money on a nanny rather than always take care of their grandchildren?

When I am old, my children have children, and my financial ability is good, I am also willing to pay for a nanny to help take care of my children. I will live my retirement well and stop worrying so much.

Now some parents would rather spend money on a nanny than always take care of their grandchildren. I think there are several reasons.

It is not the parents' responsibility to help their children with their children, but it is very popular in our country now. If the elderly are unwilling to take care of the people around them, they will feel unreasonable. Therefore, if the economic conditions are good and you don't want to help with the children, it is also a good idea not to pay.

So now some parents would rather spend money on a nanny than take care of their grandchildren all the time. I can understand this very well. Old people have no obligation to take care of their younger generation. If they can pay a nanny to help take care of their children, we should be more grateful to them.

Hello, I'm a biography of parenting. The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China from ancient times to the present, the entanglement of pampering from generation to generation, it runs in the family's embarrassment, and the great differences in educational concepts between the two generations, I think, can best explain your above questions.

As a young man, no one wants to live with the old. Let's talk about living habits first. Young people like to live as they please, like to invite friends to get together at home on weekends, and like to spend a sweet time alone with their husbands. However, when their parents are here, they are less comfortable. I live with my in-laws. They are very good people and can give everything for their children. But to be honest, I don't want to, and it's really inconvenient.

First, dress casually. My parents-in-law are at home all day after retirement. I want to dress casually at home, for example, I don't want to wear a bra, but I can't. I want to take off my bra and relax when I come home from work all year round, but I can only wear it for more than ten hours a day because of embarrassment. In summer, it is even worse.

Second, shopping is not casual. Young people love shopping and buy their favorite clothes, bags and shoes, not only for beauty, but also for work. But living with old people, every time I come back from shopping, my mother-in-law always nags "You have so many shoes, buy shoes again" and "You can buy so many clothes", which makes me feel very unhappy. It feels like you're spending my son's money.

Third, married life is super depressing. My in-laws don't like the habit of sleeping behind closed doors. I am really speechless. Every time I am with my husband, I feel that I can't let go, I dare not say it, and I have no interest at all. Although my husband doesn't like this feeling, it's his parents after all. What can he do but endure? I'm really afraid that one day, I'll cause psychological obstacles, and I don't know when it will end.

Fourth, cohabitation, even the best relationship will deteriorate. Before I got married, I lived with my in-laws. They treat me like a daughter, but since we have children and live together, our habits of doing things are completely different. My mother-in-law has a deep obsessive-compulsive disorder. No matter how tired she is, she will finish all the work she wants to do, but her time allocation is very problematic. From morning till night, doing what you want seems to be very busy, but it is actually a waste of time. Have your own plan, have a good rest, and don't delay the housework you want to do. However, my mother-in-law just doesn't like me and thinks I should be as busy as her. Besides, her son doesn't have to do anything. She is waiting on him, but I can't take care of her son like a nanny. There are more and more contradictions between us.

In addition, we have great differences in taking care of children. They love their children very much and take good care of them, but they go too far. For example, before the age of 5, children don't go to the toilet by themselves, they all pick it up with a bottle. When children eat, someone always cooks for them, either by hand or by chasing after them. Because of this wrong feeding method, my son's spleen and stomach are particularly bad, and he has been feeding and feeding, which leads to the child's habitual vomiting. I negotiated with them many times on this issue and finally stopped their feeding behavior under my protest. Now the children can eat well by themselves, and they don't vomit again, and their resistance has increased a lot.

In addition, in educating children, the stubbornness and temper of the older generation are also reflected in my son. Compulsory education leads to abnormal rebellion and bad temper of children. Realizing this problem, I insisted that they should not participate in children's education, and my father and I should educate them. Practice has proved that my decision is correct. At least now, my son is sunny, confident, peaceful, can understand others and develop in the direction I hope.

But I found that after so many things happened between my parents-in-law, my relationship with my parents-in-law became very subtle, and it was not as good as before. This is the consequence of living with and being taken care of by parents.

Many parents may have experienced this, or they are afraid that the relationship between the two generations will deteriorate. Therefore, they would rather pay a nanny to look after their children than take care of their grandchildren themselves. As young people, we should understand them. In fact, two generations have their own living space. If they miss each other, they will visit each other. This is the happiest and most harmonious distance.

The child is lovely and tired. My colleague's 6-year-old son has a 60-day holiday in kindergarten (estimated to be in the first grade). It happened that the child had something to do with his mother and brought it to the office. Less than three days, people in the office are going crazy. Several people had a rest and played games at noon, and this boy found them. In the afternoon, he insisted on playing games with or without the leader present. Ignore him. It's enough to make people angry to say loudly that I look down on you. When I woke up at noon, I couldn't see his father. His father went downstairs for a meeting, and he couldn't take him, so he kept crying. Anyone in the office who can't stand it will be coaxed, which will make everyone's head ache.

As children, grandparents can pay a nanny to take care of their grandchildren, which shows that grandparents want to help their sons and daughters-in-law, and they also love their sons and daughters-in-law, so as to relieve the pressure on young people.

You are a happy person and met a reasonable in-laws.

Why don't grandparents want to take their grandchildren?

First of all, the nanny's money is paid by grandparents. It also shows that grandchildren have a high position in the hearts of grandparents. Grandparents really love their grandchildren.

Secondly, in order to avoid the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law

Many families had a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law before they had children. However, after the child is born, the mother-in-law will have some bad habits, which is inconsistent with the current concept of parenting. Every generation will spoil children, every generation will take care of children, and every generation will let children reach for food. Every generation will take care of children, and children must be very close to grandma. Because every generation of parents will only be kind to their children and don't know how to educate them. This virtually destroyed the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law For the sake of children, the opinions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be different, because the two generations have different living environments and different ideas. In fact, no one is wrong, but the age of life is different.

This shows that your mother-in-law is homesick and everything is happy. Don't want to destroy the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

Finally, the nanny takes care of the children. She won't spoil them.

The nanny is only responsible for the child's diet and safety. As for education, it is not within the scope of nannies. Educating children is your husband and wife's business, and parents are their guardians. The purpose of mother-in-law is to let you enter the role of parents as soon as possible and assume the responsibility of educating children. There will be no generation gap in education, and the three views of children will be correct in the future. Different ideas between two generations can mislead children. The child will only know who is good to me, and I will kiss him.

From an analytical point of view: your mother-in-law's idea is great. She is a good mother-in-law. She doesn't want to destroy the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and she doesn't want to help her son and daughter-in-law relieve the pressure. Children can get a correct educational concept from an early age.

Parents-in-law who can afford a nanny to take care of their grandchildren are basically either well-off families or uncles and aunts who are still working or retired. They are basically more open-minded, and rarely are the parents-in-law in the village. They have worked hard in large classes all their lives, and they really want to travel around and enjoy their old age when they still have some physical strength after retirement.

First, avoid the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

It is said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not easy to get along with, and the daughter-in-law is afraid to live with her parents-in-law for fear of causing family conflicts. In fact, some enlightened parents-in-law don't like living with young people, and their parents-in-law will be uncomfortable in front of their daughters-in-law. They really prefer to pay for a nanny instead of living under the same roof with their sons and daughters-in-law.

For example, a relative of mine, both husband and wife are employees who need to go to work. My mother-in-law retired at the age of 50, and my father-in-law will wait until she is 60. When the son was born, his parents-in-law paid for the new moon and hired a nanny after the full moon. My father-in-law comes to stay in a small family for a few days occasionally. According to my father-in-law, "I am used to going shirtless at home, but I am not so free in front of my daughter-in-law."

I often listen to my mother's reaction. I live with my in-laws. I really dare not wear thin pajamas. I have to wear underwear when I take a shower. It feels particularly twisted.

Therefore, it is understandable that parents-in-law are willing to pay a nanny to take care of their grandchildren instead of coming by themselves.

Second, energy and physical strength are not allowed.

Some old people are too old to keep up with their energy and physical strength.

I often see some aunts with grandchildren. The children have run away, and the old people are shouting and running behind. I'm afraid the old man will fall down accidentally. My neighbor is also a mother-in-law with children. My mother-in-law is almost seventy years old and never takes her children downstairs to play. She said that if she took them down, the children would disappear.

So it's really useless for the elderly not to bring grandchildren. Young people should be considerate of the elderly and let them enjoy their old age.

Third, let the elderly enjoy their old age.

My mother-in-law has also worked hard for most of her life to bring up the boss and fulfill her responsibilities as a parent. In old age, especially those with good economic conditions and retirement salary and pension, they will know how to enjoy life better than those who work in agriculture. They want to live a complete old age, so they would rather pay a nanny to take care of their grandchildren and have more time to do what they want.

My neighbor's aunt is a typical example. Retire as a teacher in your fifties and get a pension of more than 4,000 yuan every month, which is a very good income in our town. After her grandson was born, she paid for a month to take care of her daughter-in-law. After the full moon, she paid half of her retirement salary to her daughter-in-law for a nanny. Her grandson is almost three years old now. She also goes to her son's house to see her grandson on average for half a month, and usually travels and dances with a group of retired sisters.

Not only did she live the life she wanted in her later years, but she also avoided the contradiction between her mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law. Her daughter-in-law is also happy to ask a nanny to take care of the children.

The hardest and most tiring job in the world is to take care of children. Why do professional women in western countries return home after having children and take care of them as full-time housewives? Because you have to worry about children's food, drink, sleep, health and safety, you can't let children grow up healthily without working full-time. ...

Parents would rather pay for a nanny than take care of their children, mainly because the younger generation has different ideas about the way the elderly take care of their children. No matter what the elderly do, it may not be to your liking. A little careless, my heart will still be full of complaints, and maybe I will hang it on my face. Old people don't want to do thankless things, so they pay someone to take care of them, so you don't have to look at your smelly face, so as not to hurt the old people's self-esteem and their feelings.

Another possibility is that the elderly are in poor health and can't take care of the children. Many old people have high blood pressure and heart disease. They know they can't take care of their beloved grandson, so they have to pay people to do one of their jobs.

In my opinion, my children still take care of their loved ones by themselves. Emotional cultivation between parents and children begins at an early age. Young couples can also understand the difficulties of their elders by taking care of their children and grow up with them. This is the perfect thing. Why not? ...

There are many examples mentioned in your question around me. I'd rather pay for a nanny than take my grandson with me all the time. According to my communication with them, the main reasons are as follows:

Usually, the elderly usually bring their grandchildren to their children's homes, but due to the influence of education and other factors, there are great differences in the concept of parenting between the elderly and their children. For example, my second aunt went to take care of her grandson and ran home only two months later. I asked why. His daughter-in-law thinks that she is too fond of children and doesn't like many old ideas, which makes my second aunt very upset and resolutely runs home. Of course, I communicated with my son in advance, and she asked them to hire a nanny, but she didn't let her take care of her grandson again.

The above example is very common. Many old people have very traditional ideas, such as children can't do this or that, or they are too fond of meeting all reasonable or unreasonable demands of their grandchildren. This phenomenon is very common in "42 1" families. Nowadays, young people may have read many books related to parenting during pregnancy, and the concept of parenting is more rational and scientific. It is easy to have conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law when the concept of parenting conflicts. In order to avoid enough conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, many parents can only hire nannies at their own expense to take care of their grandchildren.

The old man has worked hard all his life, and he should enjoy his old age after retirement. Taking care of children is hard and tiring. The physical condition of the elderly is weaker than that of the young, and it is more difficult to take care of the baby. In order to take care of their health, they are unwilling to take care of their grandchildren all the time. My aunt belongs to this type. It was hard for him to raise two children in his early years, and he thought it was too hard to take care of the baby. Cousin told her to take care of her grandson, followed a lot of reasons with her cousin, and finally paid for a nanny for him. My cousin also agrees with this practice, and everyone is very happy.

Now that living conditions are good, the elderly have higher requirements for the quality of life. They don't want to affect their quality of life by bringing up their grandchildren. They are willing to pay for it rather than take care of their grandchildren for a long time. As children, they should support their parents. Parents have to work hard all their lives, so it's time to enjoy their old age. If you can financially support paying for a nanny, it can be said that it is the best of both worlds.

Only when you become a parent can you know how difficult it is to be a parent and how tired it is to take care of your children.

In today's society, there are only one or two children. Both children are the apple of their eyes, and they will feel distressed when they meet.

It is really unclear about parents taking care of their children. Parents have no obligation to help their children with their children, but today's society forces young people to need their parents' help.

I think parents do a good job in taking care of their children, whether they pay or contribute. What are they dissatisfied with?

1. Old people themselves need to think about whether they care too much about their children. After all, their children and grandchildren have their own blessings. If they let go and quit properly, they may have a better life and a more harmonious family relationship.

Raising children is a big event, and children must experience every day of being parents by themselves. As the saying goes, "if you don't raise children, you don't know your parents' kindness." "

I have worked hard for my children all my life. When I am old, I want to live a quiet life for a few days.

There is a generation gap between the elderly and their children, especially the living conditions of young people now. Old people don't like it, so they just don't watch it.

Those are rich people. If you have money, you can hire a nanny. Why do you want to kill yourself?