"Don't think that the girls in your city are capable. Now men are all looking at potential." Is mother-in-law right?

"Phoenix Man" is often criticized by many women. They seem to represent this kind of people, so they tend to stay away from "Phoenix Man", regardless of whether they have experienced Phoenix Man or not. In women's minds, marrying Phoenix Man represents the unhappiness of marriage.

It is not surprising that women have such an idea. In family life, if there is a contradiction between "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law", Phoenix man usually stands on his mother's side. Their idea is very simple, and it is also a kind of "filial piety", but this kind of behavior will undoubtedly arouse women's resentment until there is a contradiction between husband and wife.

"Phoenix Man" is usually from a poor family, but after his later efforts, he often undertakes the heavy responsibility of reviving his family, so they will inevitably put his family in the most important position in their hearts. We can't blame him for this. The original intention and starting point of "Phoenix Man" is good, but the mistake is that he never thinks of women in some things. In the case of "spreading false information", women's attitude towards Phoenix man plummeted, leading to

Lin Jun once received a private letter from a reader who married a "Phoenix Man". Readers know her husband very well and naturally know that he is a Phoenix man, but she has never been influenced by outside comments, only believing what she saw and heard, so she married her husband desperately, but in marriage, readers regret the original impulse.

"I know my husband is a Phoenix man, but I don't think Phoenix man is as hateful as my best friend said. On the contrary, I still feel very considerate. Maybe I was still wet behind the ears. I married my husband after seeing that he was very kind to me. I know my husband is poor, so I don't want anything. My parents bought a wedding room. I thought the two of us would live a happy life, but soon after marriage, he thought marrying me was a kind of.

The reader's name is Xiao Hong. After she came out to work, she met her husband Zhang Ming by chance. In today's materialistic society, an honest, reliable and hardworking man is very attractive to women. Zhang Ming is such a person. The temperament he brought from his hometown in the countryside deeply attracted Xiao Hong. Not long after they met, they came together.

It is said that "best friend" is a woman's mentor and friend. After Xiao Hong and Zhang Ming got together, the first dissatisfied person was Xiao Hong's best friend. Unlike Xiao Hong, Xiao Hong's best friend is rich in social experience. She saw through the essence of Zhang Ming at a glance, that is, a "Phoenix Man", as a warning from the past. Xiao Hong's best friend couldn't bear to be hurt by Phoenix Man again, and earnestly advised Xiao Hong to let go, but the original Xiao Hong.

Xiao Hong's best friend felt powerless. She has her own choices and doesn't interfere much. After a year of love between Xiao Hong and Zhang Ming, the topic she talks about every day has changed from daily life to marriage. Zhang Ming said, "Xiaohong, as you know, I have no money at home. I may not be able to give you a good marriage, but you have to believe me." I will make you the happiest woman in the future. Will you marry me? "

After hearing this, Xiao Hong was moved by Zhang Ming's sincerity and said, "It's not a problem that you have no money at home, but after I marry you, you must be good to me. You don't have to worry about the wedding room. I'll buy it at home, not the bride price. I think as long as you love me, external things can be dispensed with, but you must be kind to me. "

Despite the opposition of Xiao Hong's family, it is hard to say what kind of parents love their daughters. Zhang Ming left a good impression on them. He also believes that his daughter should not suffer when she marries him. The wedding room is an investment in Zhang Ming. I hope Zhang Ming can impress himself in the future. Xiaohong was very satisfied with her parents' performance and told Zhang Ming the news. Zhang Ming said to Xiaohong, "You see, this is my father-in-law's vision and knowledge.

The wedding was so "shabby" that Xiao Hong's relatives were all flushed when they attended Xiao Hong's wedding, and they left the scene in a hurry after the wedding. Xiaohong complained that her relatives looked down on herself, and her married life was as dull as ever. Hong Xin Jr. said: "Plain is the essence of marriage." She is also willing to live this plain life, but the reality has stirred up the plain lake.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is always the first problem that every newly married woman has to face. Because Xiaohong's wedding room is located in a big city, Xiaohong's mother-in-law wants to stay for a few days. After Zhang Ming knew her mother's thoughts, she took Xiao Hong's mother-in-law home directly without asking her advice, and Xiao Hong did not give birth to dissatisfaction. At that time, she still felt that her husband was filial and independent.

"I said, little red, you spent a lot of money to buy this water dispenser. Girls in the city are melodramatic. Unlike our hometown. Whatever water is boiled can be drunk. It tastes the same anyway. In my opinion, buying a drinking fountain is a waste of money. Yo, your sofa is made of leather. It would be nice to change a pony. Anyway, they are all sitting. Not the same. " Xiaohong's mother-in-law opened the door of Xiaohong's bedroom, her eyes lit up and she said to Xiaohong, "This bed must have cost a lot of money. You look soft, not because your mother-in-law said you. Young people often sleep in this kind of bed, which is bad for their health. Best for sleeping at my age. "

At first, Xiaohong didn't care about her mother-in-law's words, but when her mother-in-law pushed open Xiaohong's bedroom door, she couldn't help frowning. After all, the bedroom belongs to personal space, and it is immoral to go in without others' permission. What's more, Xiao Hong retorted, "Mother-in-law, these are all things bought by my family. You don't have to ask how much they cost. Anyway, your family doesn't have any money, so it's not appropriate to point fingers here. " Xiaohong said that and saw her mother-in-law standing there blushing, not knowing what to say.

"Rainbow, what do you mean, how do you talk to my mother? Do you still see me? Do you still see my family? It's great that your family has money. My parents-in-law are not ignorant of my future potential. Although these things belong to your family now, you will know how much your family has taken advantage of. Show some respect to my mother in the future. By the way, mom, this bed is really suitable for sleeping at your age, or I'll send it back to your hometown. After that, I stared at Xiaohong and began to introduce the magic of my bed.

Xiaohong didn't expect her husband to react like this. In Xiaohong's memory, it was the first time her husband yelled at her. She felt even more incredible when she heard her husband say that he would give away the bed. She has never heard anyone do such a thing before. In desperation, she said to her laughing mother-in-law, "I can't give you this bed. My family bought it. I can buy it for you again if you want. I can buy you this bed anyway. "

My mother-in-law worked hard stupidly. She heard Zhang Xiao say, "What I just said went in one ear and out the other. I'm in charge of this family, and I'll give you some compensation. If you dare to talk to my mother like this in the future, be careful that I am in a hurry with you. " "That is, my son is right. Is it not just a broken bed? My son really looks down upon it. Don't think that the girls in your city are capable. Now men are looking at potential. If you can marry my son, it will be a high fragrance to your ancestors. How can you talk to me if you don't appreciate it? " Xiaohong's mother-in-law looked at her son and rightfully gave Xiaohong a dirty look.

Xiao Hong didn't expect things to develop like this, and she didn't know why she felt wrong when she was right. Xiaohong didn't want to affect family harmony, so she had to smile and say to her mother-in-law, "I'm sorry, but my daughter-in-law is not sensible." She listens to her mother-in-law, and her mother-in-law is right. " From then on, little Cai Hong saw that her husband's face had improved a little.

Her mother-in-law lived in Xiaohong's house for a few days, but Xiaohong was very unhappy. There is a fire in her heart, and there is nowhere to release it. She only expects her mother-in-law to leave home early. Although her mother-in-law left Xiaohong's home later, Zhang Ming also went back to her hometown with her mother-in-law, leaving Xiaohong alone at home. Phoenix man often symbolizes the hope of a family. After Zhang Ming returned to his hometown, he was warmly received by his family. After three drinks, her family began to talk. Tell a little story about parents. During the chat, Zhang Ming's mother-in-law told her relatives what Xiaohong was dissatisfied with. The relatives went their own way and quit, and accused Xiaohong of having no rules and no family education and dare to talk to her mother-in-law like this.

At that time, Zhang Ming's uncle and elders also said to Zhang Ming, "Baby, you can't have such a daughter-in-law. You have great potential in the future. You can't stop your rising potential because of her. It's not because uncles say you. Look at you. You haven't improved since you got married, and it's also because of trivial matters at home. How can a weak woman hold you back? I mean, if you're not married, it's still early. Zhang Ming was already under the control of alcohol at that time, and it was really such a thing after thinking about it. Combined with Xiaohong's attitude towards his mother, he thinks Xiaohong has ruined his own good deeds. At that time, Zhang Ming became more and more angry and called his cousin back to the city directly.

After Zhang Ming came home, Xiao Hong heard Zhang Ming say drunkenly, "I said why I haven't been promoted recently. I didn't realize it was all your fault. Without you, I might be windy and rainy now. Because I married you, I have nothing now. Isn't it just a broken house? Without you, I can't buy several sets in Zhang Ming. Don't think I don't know that your relatives look down on me. The more Zhang Mingyue said, the more angry he became. As soon as he saw it, he was going to find an adult. The cousin around him quickly grabbed his cousin and said to Xiaohong, "Sister-in-law, my brother drank too much. Never mind, don't take it to heart. I will help him sober up. "

Cousin Zhang Ming was also surprised by his cousin's reaction. He knows how hurtful what my cousin said, and he knows that this is not the case. Not only did he think, "Cousin is drunk. Don't be nice to his sister-in-law. How could he say such a thing? Well, I shouldn't have accompanied him home, and I don't know what my sister-in-law is thinking. I must be disappointed in my cousin. I hope my nephew can talk nonsense at first, just leave it alone. "

Xiao Hong was shocked and murmured, "It is said that people will tell the truth when they drink wine. Is this what Zhang Ming said? How can you say that about me? I didn't want anything at the beginning, but I stuck to the house and married you sincerely. This is the end? " Xiaohong is more and more sad. She made a determined effort in her heart and said to the figure that Zhang Ming had left: "This is all because I blocked your development path, right? Ok, I won't tell you. I want to see how far you can develop. " Then contact the lock changing company directly to change the lock at home.

Xiao Hong knew that Zhang Ming regretted getting married, especially at the instigation of his uncle and brothers. Zhang Ming even wanted to end this marriage, which is also the common fault of "Phoenix Man". He takes his own development too seriously and cares too much about the opinions of his family, so he becomes indifferent to Xiao Hong. They have always thought that they are a dark horse and can't influence their development because of any external things. If they don't get what they want, they will put the reason for failure.

Xiao Hong regrets that she married Zhang Ming impulsively, and that she didn't listen to her good friend's advice, which led to today's events. Xiao Hong knows that her relationship with Zhang Ming may never be restored. If Zhang Ming's idea remains unchanged, then this marriage is doomed to come to an end in the near future.

Lin Jun jumped to conclusions about the marriage between Zhang Ming and Xiao Hong, because on the surface, Zhang Ming was not wrong. He just values himself and his family too much. He is filial and hardworking, and constantly strives to make life at home better. But from the perspective of marriage, Zhang Ming is wrong, because he will not consider Xiao Hong's ideas at all, nor will he discuss anything with Xiao Hong. But to impose all the failures that did not exist on Xiao Hong. I think Xiao Hong is the chief culprit that makes me unhappy, but this is not the case. Everything is Zhang Ming's self-deception. If this concept is not improved, then Zhang Ming will not only lose his marriage, but also lose his responsibility to his family.

Therefore, no matter whether a man is a Phoenix man or not, he needs to treat his family and marriage equally. Family background is important, but marriage is more important. Listen to your partner's opinions and think more about your partner's thoughts. Don't deviate from your family and marriage because of other people's opinions. This is not worth the loss, and women should not avoid Phoenix Man. Their intentions are good, but they can't balance family and marriage. What women have to do is.