"Wake up, son. Here's your phone." In fact, what is more terrible than playing mobile phones is parents' ignorance.

Parents' language and behavior determine a child's life, either giving him a steady stream of energy or pushing him to the abyss.

Author | Yifan

Recently, there is a small video that is on fire.

On the street of Hangzhou, a little girl pointed at her parents angrily and shouted:

Don't touch my mobile phone, or I'll hit you.

The hissing roar resounds through the whole street, and adults will be scared!

I have been pushing and shoving with my parents during the period.

This matter has caused a wide discussion. Let's see what you say.

Did the mobile phone really kill our children?

Psychologists believe that if a child lacks something in real life, he will desperately look for it in the virtual world.

There is no doubt that this virtual world is the mobile phone network.

But what do our children lack?

Obviously, what children lack is the warmth of family, good communication, sense of self-worth and sense of belonging to family. ...

So children have to look in the virtual world.

It is not the mobile phone that harms our children, but the improper parenting style of our parents.

The terrible thing is that when children "pin" their emotional lack on their mobile phones, parents not only fail to reflect on their own problems, but forcibly take away their children's "emotional sustenance", which is too cruel for children!

During the epidemic, something happened that shocked the whole network.

At that time, the whole house was at home and the children were studying online.

Parents who are anxious all day because of their children's study have been getting along for a long time, and the contradiction between parents and children has been escalating.

There is a boy of 12 years old. Because he didn't do his homework and play mobile games, his father repeatedly accused him of being ineffective and stole his child's mobile phone.

In a rage, the child jumped from the upstairs and died on the spot.

Father in the face of the child who jumped to his death, cried and said:

"Son, I'll give you a mobile phone to play with. Open your eyes and see your father ... "

Give your son a mobile phone, but he will never see it.

In the process of educating children, we all love them and are all good for them, but don't ruin their life with your "ignorant" love.

Parents are the makers of all children's problems, and they must pay for their ignorance.

In the face of mobile phone problems, parents blindly blame and abuse, and without good communication, the harm caused to children is unimaginable.

The killer who destroys a child's life is not a game, not fun, but the incompetence and ignorance of parents.

Professor Li Meijin once told an example.

There was a boy in the second day of junior high school, who began to indulge in mobile phone network and didn't like learning, and his grades plummeted.

After his father found out, he began to realize that he lacked communication and companionship with his children, so he calmed down and patiently communicated with his children.

He asked his son, "Son, what game are you playing?"

The son told him, "This is a game."

Dad said, "Oh, then tell dad how to play this game?" Can you teach dad? "

Then his son introduced him.

He didn't deny the child at first, but walked into the child's world, talked with him about games, and let his son put down his guard and open his heart. This shows that this father has great communication skills.

Knowing that his son likes playing table tennis, dad signed up for a table tennis class and practiced playing table tennis with his children every day.

Play table tennis with children. Father and son had a good time.

Slowly, children's table tennis is getting better and better, and soon they get rid of internet addiction and their feelings are getting better and better.

This is the result of a wise parent's correct guidance to the child: first accept the child, then find the child's hobbies, and bring the child to the extreme.

What would happen if the father, like the father in the last case, forced his mobile phone to stop?

There was once a particularly popular online game, in which there were three super players and three children: one from China, one from Korea and one from Japan.

China's mother was so angry that she wouldn't let her child play games every day, but he still wanted to play. Finally, she sent him to a school to quit Internet addiction, and his parents could not see her children for half a year.

No one knows what happened in the school for half a year.

When the child comes out, his eyes become dull and he does whatever his mother says.

He won't listen, all his mother wants to say is: I'm going to send you back to the Internet addiction school, and you just pee your pants!

The child studied under the arrangement of his mother, and later found a job as a security guard to make a living.

As for the other two children, when their parents found him addicted to games every day, their mother patiently communicated with him:

"Son, tell mom what your dream is?"

"My dream is to open my own game company and be the world's top game."

"That's great! Playing games is not enough. You have to learn how to play games, don't you think? "

"Where to study?"

"I'll give you a school, you learn animation. After graduation, you can start your own game kingdom. What do you think? "

"Great, mom will help me sign up."

These two children have been sent to top game development companies and become the bosses of famous development companies, worth more than 654.38 billion.

You don't let your child do the most advantageous thing, you don't help her discover her talent, you kill his dream, which is cruel.

In this Internet age, mobile phones are another way for children to communicate with the outside world. We want children to use the internet instead of relying on it.

Mobile phones can be a platform for vanity and courtship, or a stage to stimulate creativity. Can we focus on helping children use the Internet and become creators of the online world?

The more you take care of children, the more they want to play. Your criticism and prohibition will make mobile phones more attractive and make it harder for children to resist temptation.

Teacher Wang Guofeng, a professor of family education psychology, said:

The mobile phone itself is neutral, there is no absolute good or bad.

Parents should understand that children are addicted to mobile phones, and the signal he sends us is that children lack love.

What we should do is to solve the problem from the root and give children love, security and value, rather than just solving the superficial problem.

Our children have no sense of security, affirmation and value at home. They are stared at by us every day, belittled by their parents, unhappy and unhappy, and children don't play mobile phones. What can they do?

The biggest core of parental education is to empower children, not to destroy them.

When both parents are incapable, don't talk about loving children. For children, parents' ignorant love is the biggest burden.

The growth of children needs wise parents, and we need to give them correct guidance. May we all give our children the best love.