How to adjust your inner anxiety?

1, you are not allowed to make mistakes.

There are many anxious people whose lives are not miserable, but they always demand too much of themselves, pursue perfection in everything, and don't allow themselves to make any mistakes, but they are always hit in the face by reality. Because there are too many uncontrollable factors in real life, it is a false proposition to want everything to go smoothly.

For example, tomorrow's speech is very important and it is a good opportunity for me to show my work results. I must let the leader see my efforts. I must be comfortable on the podium and not be a little nervous. Then, people who think like this can't sleep late at night, and they can't talk during the day.

Psychological research has found that a person who always wants to make the best choice is more pessimistic, less satisfied with life, more difficult to experience happiness, and more prone to depression and self-blame.

Making mistakes is unavoidable. If we are always worried that we will make mistakes, we will easily feel anxious. Research shows that if you can treat mistakes in a growing way, allow yourself to make mistakes and accept the growth brought by mistakes, your mind will relax, and more importantly, you can perform better.

2. Lack of control

You will find that there are always some people in life who often make demands on people around them or set certain goals. Once the other party can't meet their requirements, they will feel very anxious and irritable. For example, in an argument, you must compete with the other side for victory or defeat. If the other person is contrary to your own ideas, you will try your best to convince others.

The essence is that they lack a sense of control over their own lives. Only in this way can they increase their control over their lives and prove their worth.

If a person loses control, he will feel insecure and become anxious and depressed. Even, he will form a negative self-evaluation, he will feel that things are out of his control, and he will become helpless, thus generating the idea that nothing can be done.

However, if a person pursues a sense of control excessively, it will amplify the negative impact of losing control on himself, and may make some impulsive behaviors out of excessive worry.

So, when you feel worried and scared, you can think about what I can control. What time and energy have I spent because of the part that I can't control?

3. Lack of internal resources

Internal resources refer to our ability to maintain full self-awareness, perceive and accept current emotions and give full play to our internal strength in the face of pain and pressure. A person with rich internal resources will still choose to believe that he has the ability to achieve his goal when facing uncertainty; He can accept the worst result and make changes and compensation for the result; He can accept his imperfections, move on with problems, and will not fall into negative emotions excessively; He can find and give play to his own advantages and look at his own shortcomings with a developmental perspective.

If a person is short of internal resources, he is uneasy. He neither believes that he has the ability to do it, nor does he believe that others can help him. Therefore, his face