Humor, humor, tell me about the complete works

1, God arranged fate for us, but forgot to give us instructions.

When I was in college, I saw my roommate playing games in the dormitory one day. I said to him, "Tomorrow is the exam. Don't you study? " The roommate calmly replied: "The day after tomorrow, am I wrong?" So I continued to argue with him. Just as we were quarreling, another buddy in the dormitory was surprised and asked, "You didn't go to the exam this morning!" " "

Time has taught me that I don't have to wait for anyone except express delivery.

You are so old that you have mastered a specialty without learning other skills. You can sleep well without sleeping pills during the day and get excited without stimulants at night.

I warn you not to touch my bottom line, or I will change my bottom line again.

6. I don't know how to say it. I hope everyone will stop forwarding pornography in space. I think this kind of behavior is quite bad, and it really has a bad influence on others. For example, for me, it's too much for you to make me climb out of bed in winter to find headphones!

7. I know this is a world of looking at faces. I took the money from the school to have plastic surgery.

8. Girls usually have no sound when chatting. Girls use voice when chatting with you. Your relationship with her is absolutely unusual. Delete the note for you, and she can see at a glance that you sent the message.

9. I see through what brothers and friends are, and I don't want to borrow my girlfriend to sleep for two days in such a cold day.

10, the mirror installed at the school stairs tells you that ugly people should read more books.

1 1. My lover is a world hero. One day, he will sneak into the tower and marry me. I guessed the leader, but I didn't guess that Po Hou was a stick.

12, I played with many men, such as Li Bai, Han Xin, the Monkey King, Hou Yi, Xiang Yu and Dian Wei.

13, chasing someone who looks like you, suddenly remembering that there is no you in this city. I put down the brick and almost hit the wrong person.

14, there is no road in the world, and there are so many people wandering around that I don't know how to get there.

15, "If Chinese, math, English, physics, thinking, history, geography and politics teachers come into the classroom at the same time, what will you think of?" "Eight-Nation Alliance's war of aggression against China."

16, how can you take a selfie without a boyfriend?

17, I hope one day we can become strangers again, and then we can get to know you again. See how I kill you!

18, "What can make you put down your dignity and humble yourself?" "Copy homework"

19, I just saw a news that both mother and daughter are flight attendants. I don't know what's good about this, just mother and daughter! Our ancestors were farmers for eighteen generations, and I never show off! Am I proud? Am I bloated?

20. The flowers and plants were plucked up before they could get laid.

2 1, I used to be scolded by my teammates every day when I played the king. Slowly, my fighting ability has improved, and now I don't scold me because they have already scolded me.

22, young only once, how to tell my son that he was not crazy.

23. When I was at school, I often did autopsies. I'm used to dead people. The dormitory is hotter than the steamer at night. The roommate had a whim and said that the morgue had air conditioning. Why don't we sleep there? I have the key. One or two other goods were agreed immediately, and two went. The next day, the janitor was hospitalized.

24. I am not good at arts and sciences now, so I have to learn magic.

25. When I was a child, I had an cartoon. I only listened to the theme song, thinking it was a legendary story about the thief and his son. The song goes like this: "The thief's son and the thief's father ..."

26. If you are lazy with me, you will lose, because I am too lazy to compete with you.

27. Dad taught me: "Don't be cheated by men. Don't believe what men say. " For a while, I didn't know whether I should listen to my father or not.

28. When I found that all wifi had passwords, I deeply felt the malice of the world.

29. Some people say that "I'm hungry" is a test sentence: tell mom that she will get up at once and say "I'll get you something to eat". Tell dad that he will smile and say "OK, let's eat out". Tell your boyfriend, and he will say softly, "What do you want to eat?" Tell your girlfriend, and she will always answer "Me too". So more and more boys choose to find boyfriends.

30. I've seen many hooligans, but I still don't like scum like you.

3 1, quarreling with my wife, I shouted: "Don't think you are beautiful, I won't dare to hit you!" I thought she would be happy to hear this, but I didn't expect her to say, "Don't think that what you said is very reasonable and I will let you go!" " "

32. The boy rode his horse to the edge of the cliff, turned to his beloved girl and said, "I want to ask you one last question. Will you marry me? If you don't marry me, my life is meaningless. I will jump off this cliff. " The girl was moved and shouted "marry" to the boy. The horse screamed and rushed down the cliff.

33. I caught the bus in the morning. When I got to the platform, the bus had already left. So I had to chase and shout: "Master, wait for me! Master, wait for me! " At this time, a passenger leaned out of the window and said to me, "Wukong, stop chasing."

34. Violence can't solve problems, but it can ease anger.

Since you borrowed money from me, I have been thinking about you every penny.

36. Many aunts say that I am handsome today. Why don't you introduce your daughter to me?

37. I felt like crying, and then it began to rain. I ran to ask my mother about my life. I am Princess dragon three of Donghai. Why did you keep it from me for so many years?

38. Always remind yourself that life is too short to eat, drink and sleep with people who want to sleep.

39. I don't answer every second for a reason. There is a time difference between us in heaven and earth, so I may often not come back every second.

40. "What do girls think of the filth of boys?" "People who hit it off can also hit it off. "

4 1, actually I like math very much. It has no circuitous language, English grammar, historical and political complexity and information, but it just can't, can't, can't.

42. A fat girl is afraid to take the elevator because she is not confident, so she insists on taking the stairs to work every day. So, after nearly a month's hard work, she was fired because she was often late.

Please pay attention to parents: in recent days, a new type of fraud has appeared in society. Liars will forge a report card with a low score, falsely claiming that it is a child's achievement in the name of e-school, WeChat and class teacher, and sow discord among them, causing serious family discord. Please delete the result message immediately after receiving it. Don't believe it. Forward positive energy at will.

Humor, humor, tell me.

1, I have acne because I am handsome. 2. Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationship.

3, in small things, the villain becomes a Buddha.

4. The dialect of our homework here is committing iniquity!

I am different from you because I am human.

6, come, drag it out, jj slice fried green pepper!

7. Sometimes, sleeping is also a kind of enjoyment.

8. Love will leave scars, but it will also teach people to forget the pain.

As an animal, I feel a lot of pressure.

10, from heaven to hell, I was just passing by.

1 1, you are frozen into a ghost in the north, and I show my thighs in the south.

12, if you were a flower, cows would not dare to shit in the future.

13, isn't it supported by the Animal Protection Association?

14, your smile is close to my heart and throat, and I never miss it.

15, sometimes, you don't know how hurtful your words are.

16, I usually dare not show my love publicly, but I don't like to have a spare tire.

17, brother, can you lower the resolution on your face?

18, you are so charming that countless blind people are scrambling to bend over.

19, I like to rely on you, and the stars depend on the night sky.

The price of pigs has gone up these days. Why can't the price increase?

2 1, women are easy to be satisfied, and it is easy for you to stumble.

22. Only when you hold my hand can I move forward bravely.

23. Who said that tofu can't kill people? Try changing frozen tofu next time.

I hope someone will understand me, even if I didn't say anything.

25. My ID card is fake. Don't believe that I am a liar.

I really can't see you so close to me, because I am blind.

27. Two big lies in life: I love you all my life, and this dress is slim.

28. You think too complicated about others, because you are not simple.

29. Every parent has jet lag and obviously only wants to say 1: 30.

30. Delayed love never knows how far it will be forever.

3 1, that who, I love you so much that I don't even want my own feelings.

I am already very happy, because I have seen you so deeply.

33. Men are not colored, not true colors; Women are not coquettish and have no tricks.

34. One thousand and one wishes are too many. I just need to realize one thing.

Modesty is also an art, let's do it well together!

36. Ideals are like underwear. You should have them. But you can't prove it to everyone.

37. My parents quarreled, and my father said angrily, I'll go out!

38. What is the minimum standard for making friends with you? Must be human.

At that corner, I saw a blind man chasing a lame man.

40. Since you appeared, I know that it is so beautiful to be loved.

4 1, because I don't like to tidy my room, so they all call me the hero of room chaos.

Take good care of your daughter-in-law and don't let her run out in class.

43. Don't turn your avatar into your own, or it will be unlucky to go offline.

44. People have lost weight, waist and buttocks. Why do we have to start with brain cells?

45, do not love to love, is a kind of self-abuse; Love without love is a kind of self-harm.

46. Some people are alive, but she is dead. Some people are still alive, and he should have died!

47. The difference between you and a pig is that a pig has always been a pig, but sometimes you are not a person.

48. I came quietly, walked quietly, waved a dagger, and left no one alive.

49. Nowadays, college students are so incompetent! Come and copy the porn and cut it out!

50. Who did you make that face with? I owe you an overdue loan or something.

5 1, why do women keep bangs, or do women sweat without bangs?

52. I will run forward, climb up if I can, but I can't just get down on the spot.

53. The furthest distance in the world is not life and death, but that you use Unicom and I use mobile.

54. Why do boys always have a hard bottom and a hard bottom? Is it because there is little water?

55. I paid for my mobile phone for a week, and when I got it back, I found that all the games were cleared.

56. If a beautiful woman can really be eaten as a meal, my beautiful woman is probably the rhythm of starvation.

57. When others are holding hands, I will take my dog for a walk and go swimming to see who is unhappy with a bite.

Walking in the street, I like to pretend to look at the goods in the shop window, but I'm actually looking in the mirror.

59. You said Murmansk, I am the warm current of the North Atlantic. You should hold tight and I should ride the wind.

60. I have thought for countless times that I can't see the sun tomorrow, because it will be cloudy. .

6 1. If your boyfriend ignores you when playing LOL, it is enough to remove the R key on his keyboard and forward positive energy at will.

62. Work every year, worry every year, work overtime every day like a monkey, work overtime without pay, and get scolded for no reason every day.

63. Love won't hurt people, but people will hurt themselves. Love doesn't do evil, but people do evil. The brain is funny unless it plays tricks on people.

64. I want to talk about a love that never breaks up, stumbles on, sets in the sun and grows old together.

You must come to be my partner on the wedding day, because we promised to walk into the marriage hall together.

66. W: I want to lose weight. Man: What's the matter? Woman: I'm afraid you'll abandon me. Man: That's something you can throw away. Female:

67. My brother told me: Sister, you must not be taller than me when looking for a boyfriend in the future, otherwise I am afraid that he will bully you and I will not hit him.

68, riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

69. Some people test strength, some people test eyesight, and some people test imagination. In short, it's all about personal ability.

70. It turns out that it is actually a kind of happiness to suffer for the people you love, but only a few people in this world can enjoy this happiness.

7 1, if one day you suddenly disappear, do you think someone will look for you crazily? If I still owe the bank mortgage and car loan.

72. If you put a piece of shit and a bone in front of the dog, which one would the dog like? God replied: dogs dip their bones in shit.

73. A friend said that his cactus has become exquisite and will move after watering. I went to his house to have a look. Shit! Poor hedgehog.

74. Never quarrel with your parents, because if you don't win, you will only be scolded, and if you win, you will be beaten.

Tell you a secret to getting rich, but don't tell anyone! Fold your money in half, does it double? Ha, go and make friends!

76. I want to be a man and work hard to earn money; Wages are only rising slowly, and house prices are rising fast for no reason; It's hard to pay the down payment, but I can't help being single!

77. Love is a profession, hobby is the foundation of love, thinking of you is my homework, and loving you is my career. Although occasionally unemployed, but still firmly copy the old job!

78. If I can have 999 times of good luck in my life, I would like to share all 997 times with you and keep only two times for myself: once to meet you and once to accompany you forever.

79. When you walk into a deep and narrow canyon with a bow and arrow on your back, you find a wolf in front and a ghost behind. Excuse me: Do you shoot wolves or ghosts?

80. Rose petals touch your beauty, happiness is permeated in your smile, stars are my thoughts, your temperament fascinates me, and seeing you gives me the courage to add love.

Humor and interesting conversation popular in 2020

1, Cancer's friends are lucky, and the three boys of the heir have been angry with you.

2. Who says that men are better than women and have the ability to let men help you have a child?

3. The legendary three stars: Lei Feng, Zhang Haidi and Batman Zhang Ga, referred to as Lady Gaga.

4, Doraemon said: Bear, what you want is not me, just that pocket.

Friend, if you like me, you can't say it out loud. Don't hide it.

6. If you have something to find out about yourself, don't just go looking for trouble.

7. The waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves ahead, and each generation is not as good as the next.

8. Your sleeping position determines your hairstyle. Starting today, you should study your sleeping posture and hairstyle.

9. Dream, anything is possible. Daydreaming can make your dream come true more easily.

10, stop quibbling, the fact is the fact that you will never change.

1 1, don't argue with a fool, or others won't know who is stupid.

12, actually, I didn't mean to grow taller, because I'm afraid of heights, and I'm afraid of growing too tall.

13, in the chemistry experiment class, the teacher said: all the students in the first row and the second row should go back.

120xx If you love me, don't give up. If you hate me, keep trying.

15. Compare these two fish, which one is handsome and who wins will be the food of tomorrow.

16, if you are not happy to sleep, let him pass! It doesn't matter if you are sad, it's not good to hurt your stomach.

17, as long as you have classes in your heart, you don't skip classes anywhere.

18, describe our grievances in one sentence: we can hide from the first day, but we can't hide from the fifteenth.

19, there are some things I know are wrong and I am still insisting.

20. I'm not a waiter, so you have no right to let my sister answer you.

2 1, never tell me, I can't live that long.

22. Don't challenge me to pull you with your SB level.

23. The sun is really warm. It's time to bask in tears.

24. You deny me with the whole world, and I will accompany you to deny the whole world.

25, but gold will always shine, you glass slag can only reflect light.

I can confidently tell you that he will be with you because you look like me.

27. Make friends with interests, then you can go straight now.

If you don't have that ability yourself, don't say others are too powerful.

29, 2b to describe you, people don't want pencils.

30. Not knowing the darkness of the night during the day is just like the tears that Xueba doesn't understand the scum.

3 1, being teased when you are angry, is a very self-respecting thing.

Please remember my name and the time I wasted on you.

33. Whoever loves must be by his side.

34. All my friends pointed out to my face that all the dogs were discussing behind my back.

35. Don't give me a perfunctory sentence. Don't you love my best friend?

36. I am a two-faced man, sometimes sunny and sometimes silent.

37. Even if employers and employees are single, they will be happier than you.

38. Women are all knives and axes.

39. My tears always sparkle, but you devalue them.

Forty years later, we have all become a pile of ashes, and no one knows anyone.

Sharp, humorous and funny.

Don't challenge my blackmail skills with the Speed at which you say sp.

I didn't take medicine today, and I feel very cute.

Young but not high, Alzheimer's disease. Alzheimer's disease is getting higher and higher.

A person, a mobile phone, a computer, a day passed like this.

Summer vacation is coming again, and the determination to become thinner, whiter and taller is coming again.

Master, thank you. Thank you for saving me from unrequited love.

Playing tricks in front of me is playing broadsword in front of Guan Yu.

I walked down the street with little fat legs, full of spring sadness.

You have so many pimples on your face that you will turn over when driving a tractor.

Every time there is a flash of lightning in the sky, a person swears.

China is developed, and foreigners are needed to translate classical Chinese!

I'm not nervous when I take exams, but I'm most nervous when I wait for my grades. I feel the same way.

Don't challenge my blackmail skills with the Speed at which you say sp.

When summer comes, quilts are not used for covering, but for hugging.

What are you yelling about? Don't tell me to lose weight.

I thank all the people who fell off the chain when I needed you most.

The world is crazy, and monsters are bridesmaids for Altman.

Sharp and funny signature: If mosquitoes can glow, then my room will really suffocate.

There is a cool person in my family, and that is me. You can't accept it.

The bangs were cut short, revealing my righteous eyebrows.

I dropped my cell phone until midnight, then picked up my slippers and fell asleep.

Jiang Ziya is still casting pearls before swine. It's my turn to be a pair of dogs.

I don't want to answer others, because the signal can't keep up.

At least people's brains will be short-circuited, and I don't even have power.

There are countless people watching the fun, and few people help you out.

The little fairy pointed out that Hunan Satellite TV would broadcast Princess Huanzhu again in the summer vacation.

You are my little lady. I love you enough.

I have to spend my summer vacation in a makeup class.

I love you. When I love you, all I think about is you.

No one protects my soft sister, so I can only become a woman by self-study.

A big kiss from EXO came at me, and I needed backup.

No matter how good the QQ name is, it's useless to drag it on! Remarks are more important than anything else.

Lan Yan has a girlfriend, is Hong Yan going to retire?

Mosquito, born for my blood. I live to kill mosquitoes.

You are my junior. You can't get too many points at the end of the term.

I miss those deskmates who have been bullied by me, and now my hands itch again.

I love you very much, but I can't say it. What should I do?

The little fairy pointed out that Hunan Satellite TV would broadcast Princess Huanzhu again in the summer vacation.

The Monkey King is carrying a suitcase in the front, and Tang Priest is driving a BMW in the back.

Mr. Mung Bean is very sad because the lady and Mr. Watermelon left during the summer vacation.

LoL is more attractive, or your lover is more attractive.

I am a flash bomb, which may blind your eyes one day.

When I was a child, I thought there were only two countries in the world, China and foreign countries.

Thick black thigh stockings, this summer is really terrible.

Every year, the test paper is ahead of the limit, and it can circle the earth 200 million times.

Don't ask me how I did in the exam, I can only say that I was burned.

I will be a senior three soon, but I can't learn and I won't grow up.

During the summer vacation, I missed you 24 hours a day. Did you do it?

I germinated hard and your hair turned white. To parents

I wanted to go to the end with you, but you slipped away.

Don't frown all day, just bow your head and kiss you.

If I were a princess, I would save a frog.

Everyone is more than one meter tall, so there is nothing to ask.

You are my little watermelon. Not enough to eat.