Send a funny sentence

1, knowledge is like underwear, which is invisible but important. Read more and be less melodramatic. I admire myself very much, and sometimes I kowtow to myself when I look in the mirror.

3, crying can solve sadness, laughter can ease the mood.

If Cinderella's shoes fit perfectly, why did she fall to the ground while running?

5, all the memories of quicksand, those lost years, washed away my dust.

6. I used a sack of money to go to school, changed a sack of books and graduated. I changed these books into money, but I can't afford a sack.

If I don't marry you in the future, you can deprive me of my marriage. I will wear flat shoes.

8. I am alone, like a bad old man, quite quiet.

9. The ideal life is nothing more than sleeping in the morning, sleeping in the middle, sleeping in the afternoon and sleeping in the middle of the night.

10, looking at the way he eats, it is hard to believe that human beings will become extinct one day.

1 1, only when you are deceived will you know such a hypocritical person.

12, I have used cool dogs for so many years. Say hello cool dog every day. At first, I thought it was polite. Think about it. Who the fuck do you think is a dog?

13, everything is going up, but people are getting cheaper and cheaper.

14. There used to be a sun at QQ level, which made me feel very awesome. Now I know that the more people in the sun, the older they get.

15, don't ask me what I want to eat and what I have.

16, Tetris tells us that mistakes will accumulate and successes will disappear.

17. The teacher said that a wrong question is a kind of wealth. I read my paper and found that I am a local tyrant.

18, the future deskmate, anyway, please bear it with my positive second-hand spirit!

19, girls can only become girls in front of boys they like, and they have to fight like men at other times!

What I want is not that I love you and support you, but that I am still with you when I am old.

2 1, I found that as a foodie, you are either hungry or supportive!

22. You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you, because I am not afraid of your death.

I thought you loved me, but you never paid for it.

24. The blood of Xueba hidden in my body, I order you to lift the seal in the name of Xueba.

25. Since I went to Weibo, I feel guilty about being a fan every time I rinse hot pot.

26. It is popular for girlfriends to rob boyfriends this year. Next year, will brothers rob girlfriends?

27. I hate that people I care about are kind to others. I hate them for no reason.

28. I used to be thin, and I will be thin in the future. Now I will gain weight for a while, otherwise my life will be incomplete.

29. Be sure to live well, grow old slowly, get sick late and die quickly.

30. This kind of personality can't be described, and the system is powerless.

3 1, not only talented, but also waist fat.

32. The saddest love is not two parallel lines that are far apart, but two intersecting lines that gradually drift away after knowing each other.

You have a million dollars, and I shed diamond-like tears for you.

34. The furthest distance in the world is that two people are in the same bed, one is watching the stars and the other is watching the country love.

35. Everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend not to be serious.

36. Where is spring? Where is spring? Spring is in a China woman's dream.

If you wake up in the middle of the night, don't forget to tuck your roommate in.

38. The eyes are the windows of the soul, and the bags under the eyes are the windowsill of the soul.

39. Sometimes, life is like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.

40. Let me die for a while and come back to life in spring.

4 1. If I send you a message and don't reply, I will write your name on the tablet.

42. I looked at the time, took out my mobile phone and turned on the screen. qq and WeChat ignored me. Then I put my mobile phone in my pocket and suddenly remembered that I didn't look at the time.

43. Some people test their strength, while others test their eyesight.

44. I have to be scolded by my parents three times a day: I don't get up in the morning, I surf the Internet when I get up, and I don't sleep at night.

No matter what you say about me, I will accept it all, but I will not change or bow for you.

46. Stop saying that you love me. Your love will make me very painful and tired.

47. How many times have you missed so much because you don't know your own needs?

48, ah! White snake; Ah! The Monkey King; Ah! Sister Rong; Summer vacation is coming!

Don't put pressure on me, it will be my motivation to become your boss.

The summer vacation is not over yet, and I am already looking forward to the winter vacation.

5 1, mother-in-law, after all: men are feminine and women are like menstruation.

My parents won't let me be an irresponsible person, so I chose two.

53. Going to school is like marriage in the old society. If you are unhappy, you must be together.

54, Lao, can you stop holding my hand with inferior red thread? It will break every three to five times.

55. It is uncomfortable not to do homework, and it is uncomfortable to do homework.

I'm sorry, I'm not weak enough to ask for your pity.

57. Remember to shut up when you are impulsive. Sometimes, what you say on impulse is enough to make you regret it for the rest of your life.

58. It's not that I don't love you, but that you don't let me love you.

59. The heart seems to be raining, venting the unhappiness in this world.

60. There are two kinds of people, one is beautiful and the other is ugly. You're caught in the middle. It's ugly.

6 1. As soon as you close your eyes and open them, the day passes. As soon as my eyes closed, I never opened them again, and my life passed like this.

62. Why can't I understand your heart after reading it for so long? Because I'm nearsighted.

63. God, I am definitely not your granddaughter. You don't love me, I will never call you grandpa again!

64, born to belong to cucumber, owe to shoot!

When I really understood the meaning of the word "good years", you were gone.

66. Teacher, after you put on the cassock of the old man, you are an old man.

67. Lose weight for ten years and eat fat for three minutes. Ten years of love, three minutes to break up. Study for ten years and forget for three minutes. It takes three minutes to charge for ten years.

68. I am really comfortable that people who don't like me can add trouble to your heart.

69. I'm not super Mary. I can't do everything.

70. Say what you are unhappy about and make everyone happy.

7 1, I never thought that your sorry made me cry.

72. After the summer vacation, I became a dark cloud instead of a flash of lightning.

73. If the daughter-in-law is gone, she can find it again. Mom, there is only one.

74, I don't want those hot and cold, I just want a simple you love me.

75. I won't be like before. Those who have cheated me will never forgive me.

76. No matter how good others are, it's none of my business. No matter how bad I am, it's none of others' business. There are some things, not that I don't care, but that I care.

77. Who said that we must watch the moon in the Mid-Autumn Festival, and my sister went to bask in the sun?

78. Don't take my patience with you as your shameless capital.

79, a threesome must have my wife, choose beauty and take it.

80. Life is like a news broadcast. You can't escape by changing the channel.

8 1, invigilator+geographical location+friendliness of nearby comrades = test scores.

82. I always feel that others are full after a few bites, and I can eat more when I am full!

83. Maybe we will love many people, but only one person will make you laugh the brightest and cry the saddest.

84. On a date more than ten years ago, I danced with my small schoolbag on my back and walked into school with a big smile on my eyes. Since then, I have embarked on a road of no return.

85, dry wood meets fire, that's called Ming Sao, wet wood meets fire, that's called man show.

86. Time tells you what aging is, and memory tells you what innocence is.

Logger Vick, I teach you to cut down trees, and you teach me how to be strong.

88. As soon as the third grade leaves, the second grade goes to hell, the first grade goes to prison, and the sixth grade looks forward to junior high school life like a fool.

89, riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but may be a Tang priest; Those who have wings are not necessarily angels, but bird people.

90. My, er, him, where are you? Was there a traffic jam on the way here?

9 1, the most beautiful sentence in the world is not that I love you, but that Bill Gates has decided to transfer all his property to your name!

92. There are more and more nodding acquaintances, and there is almost no cure for cervical spondylosis.

93. Tongue is longer than teeth, and software is longer than hardware.

94. There is probably only one thing to eat in the world. I will never be bored, bored, forgotten or miss you all my life.

95. Boss, I bought vinegar, not soy sauce, but the one in the back.

96. Whenever, please love and live with your childhood beliefs!

97. In fact, if you hug me during an argument, you will find that I never leave your power again.

98. Don't say sorry to me, because we are all fine.

99. No, please leave in a wheelchair.

100, you have a heart to lose weight, but you have a mouth to eat.

10 1, I want to be a little monster, because Altman can't beat me.

102, the world is a big doll machine, I just want you through the glass window.

103, don't accuse me of typos in the future, this is anti-counterfeiting technology.

104, constantly growing, constantly losing, and finally leaving only a cold heart to freeze all feelings.

105, deskmate, please leave me, you know too much!

106, beg the downstairs to eat hyun mai! I was ready for this.

107, I'm Jesus, his son, Coconut!

108, you can not accept your fate in front of me, but you must give up.

109, arrogant people can be saved, but people with inferiority can't be saved. I think I can save it!

1 10, when I suddenly looked back, the class teacher had stood silently at the window.

Send a humorous sentence

I am going to meet other parents tomorrow. I'm so nervous. After all, I hit his child first.

2) Newton died, leaving behind a bunch of formulas, and Qu Yuan died, leaving behind a three-day holiday. It is China people who sympathize with us in China!

3) I wanted to borrow this final exam to turn over salted fish, but I didn't expect to stick to the pot.

4) If you are reading this sentence, it means that you like me. If you want to deny it, why are you still reading it?

5) I hope that when my grades come out, I will feel guilty that I don't deserve such a high score.

6) When I was a child, I felt that Internet cafes were the most wasteful places. Twenty dollars disappeared in an afternoon. Now I feel that Internet cafes are the most economical places. Twenty dollars can sit for an afternoon.

7) When my grades were poor, teachers and classmates laughed at me, saying that I would definitely not be admitted to the university and would have to move bricks in the future. Not convinced, I secretly made up my mind to get up early and be greedy for the dark, study hard and make rapid progress in my grades. Finally, I was admitted to the university. I study civil engineering and move bricks after graduation. I just want to prove to them that moving bricks is destiny takes a hand's, and it has nothing to do with whether to take the college entrance examination or not!

8) Wife: Husband, what if someone calls me a beauty in the street? Husband: Then you should help him cross the street quickly. Wife: Husband, why is this? Husband: Because he is blind.

9) I swear I'll chop my hand if I go shopping in Taobao again. Now I look at prosthetic limbs on Taobao.

10) As long as you have a classroom in your heart, you can't escape from class anywhere. Teachers will never understand.

Humorous sentences suitable for speaking

1) What's it like to fall in love at first sight? Have you ever seen RMB?

2) I can't understand those boys who discriminate against homosexuality. You are stupid. Every gay couple has two more girls.

3) How to euphemistically describe the ugliness of others?

Every time I see those skinny people in the street, I want to give her some meat to eat. It's pathetic.

5) As long as you hand in blank papers together, you can be the first. Why kill each other?

6) If the director lets Big Wolf eat a sheep, the ratings will definitely skyrocket.

7) People who know your past are terrible, but people who have photos of your past are even more terrible!

8) People's potential can be stimulated. For example, if you give me a catty of bricks, I may not be able to carry them, but if you give me a catty of RMB, I will definitely pick them up and run.

9) I hope you don't live as well as me, die earlier than me, eat badly, sleep badly, and look particularly old.

10) lucky money is something that adults give to adults. Show us on the way.

1 1) When I was a child, I looked down on those scum who fell in love. Now that I think about it, I think those students are really amazing. They met someone at a young age.

12) I never saw much money in my life when I thought my wallet was really poor.

13) The difference between new heels and old shoes is that if the new shoes are stepped on, you will say that you stepped on my shoes, but the old shoes are different. You stepped on my foot!

14) As a student, I hope the harder the topic, the better. I can't write it anyway. Learning to be a bully is enough.

15) No matter how decent a person is, he should put down his face with me. No matter how chaste women are, I want them to take off their clothes. Don't ask me why, I run a bathhouse.

16) If someone thinks you are stupid, you can continue to play dumb. Anyway, you have nothing to do but Doby!

17) I heard the clerk say hello when I went shopping this morning. what can I do for you? I really want to say yes. To pay for me.

Woman: Let's do it! What do you mean? Woman: Oh, dear! Your parents often do this. Man: (silent for a few seconds) Shit! Let me know if you want to call!

19) After cutting my hair, the barber asked me how I was doing. I was silent for a while and said to him; As long as you are happy. Staying up late is not good for your health. I suggest you stay up all night.

20) My girlfriend leans on the shoulders of stupid boys and sweetly asks: We have been together for more than a month, why haven't you attacked me? Boy: Do you really want me to attack you? My girlfriend's eyes sparkled with expectation: Really! Boy: OK, I'm going to attack you. The boy said and stood up. Suddenly, his legs swept away and his girlfriend fell to the ground.

Popular humorous sentences suitable for saying.

2 1) Xiao Ming, please change the teacher's heartbreak for us into a passive sentence. We fucked the teacher's heartbreak. Xiao Ming, get out of here!

22) Edison went shopping with a couple. When he got home, he invented the light bulb.

23) Young people should never lose confidence because of a math subject. You are not alone in this issue.

24) If there is a step between us, as long as you take a step towards me, I will swing the bottle at you. What are you doing so close on a hot day?

25) It is reported that cheating in the college entrance examination will be sentenced. If a college entrance examination student is arrested for cheating, a prisoner will ask him how he got in, and the child can answer. You may not believe it, but I was admitted here.

26) A buddy likes chatting online. Once he went to see a female netizen, and I asked him what was going on. He said: I passed the written test and failed the interview. . .

27) Unconsciously, summer has become the season for boys to show their legs.

28) You think that finding someone who doesn't talk can make me quiet. The class teacher never imagined that I cured that buddy's autism.

29) When I don't like to talk, you should know that there is a little emotion in your small business.

30) I heard an obscene voice on the side of the road today. Come and play, handsome. I sneer at that slut in my heart. I won't kill you today. I took out a dollar coin and rode on her, pleasant goat, beautiful goat, lazy goat, boiling goat and the wolf.

3 1) I remember when I was a child, I often pointed to the ugly pictures in the textbook and said to my deskmate, look, this is you. Then the deskmate rummaged through the whole book to find an uglier picture than this and said, look, this is you!

32) In summer, I thank two people: one is Willis Kelly, an American, who invented air conditioning. The other is Hou Yi, a man from China, who killed a grandson.

33) My friend said that she lost several pairs of underwear in a row some time ago, so I advised her to change the house quickly. It is not safe to rent a house in that place. She smiled: Don't bother, I don't wear underwear now.

34) Xiaoming has had a crush on a beautiful woman for a long time. On Christmas Eve, he finally got up the courage to confess to the goddess. The beauty looked at Xiao Ming faintly: I just regard you as my good friend. Xiao Ming's eyes froze, but they lit up immediately. He said excitedly, Let's have sex together.

35) When you walk with me, hold my hand. Didn't the teacher tell you to bring valuables when you were a child?

36) A question: I wonder if people are doing well after death. The other said, live a good life. Everyone was surprised and asked, why do you say that? The man said, have you ever seen a dead man run back? This shows that you have a good life down there!

37) If your boyfriend is a sexy soul, when you want to get something high but can't get it, the sexy soul will say that you idiot won't let me help you, right? If your boyfriend is Park Chanye, Park Chanye will touch your head when he sees it and say he will grow taller, idiot. If it was Bo Xian, he would say: Don't look at me, I can't get it either!

38) The ancient robbery: I opened this mountain and planted this tree. If you want to pass by, stay and buy the toll. After hundreds of years of civilization baptism, in today's society, robbery is like this: please go slow at the rice toll station ahead.

39) In class, the teacher asked: What's the name of the duck, little friend? Xiao Ming: What about the sheep? Xiaohong: Baa baa, the teacher finally asked a question: What's the name of the chicken? Xiao Gang: Oh, push. Oh, no, uh-huh.

40) I am 1 m 77, I can cook and wash clothes, I can repair elevators with eight-pack ABS, and I never litter. I am a black belt Sanda fighter in Taekwondo, tearing my dick and beating my wife. I usually like skiing, skydiving, gliding and bungee jumping. Of course, none of this matters. What I am good at is bragging.

Send funny sentences about friends on 20 19.

1, how come your nonsense is more than the advertisement of Hunan Satellite TV?

2. I want to be as thin as a flash of lightning, illuminating all the wretched fat people.

I would rather be fat and delicate than thin and similar.

4, the hair is gone, dandruff is more prominent.

5. Brush the toilet with the landlord's toothbrush when you are depressed.

6, cucumber lies in shooting, life lies in hey.

7. The mind is a commodity, not an ornament.

8, who is whose husband, are fucking temporary workers.

9. Just because you show half your ass doesn't mean you are sexy, it only means that your underwear is small.

10, your smile is brighter than that shit in the sun.

1 1, if two people stare at each other for a long time, it is also a very romantic thing.

12, my heart is not a bus, and you can sit down if there is a vacancy.

13. Count the stars with me. Count the moon if your IQ is low.

14, mermaid, I love you, only you won't cheat.

15. My ears are not trash cans. Don't throw anything here.

16, life is like a trip, you may capsize somewhere.

17, your game is called diving brother, and your game is called lurking.

18, the most useless thing in the world is the salary slip, which makes me angry and wipes my ass too carefully.

19, medicine can't cure sick leave, but wine can't solve the problem.

20. Sorry, the signature is too personalized, so the system can't display it. Please refresh.

2 1, do you wipe your ass with your left hand or your right hand? That's disgusting. I use paper.

22, the ancients cloud; With a house, I will have a wife, wife, children, children, and I can be an old man!

23, feelings are like this, you hurt others, whether intentionally or unintentionally, someone will always hurt you.

24. When I get rich, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital in the world.

25. I like this season because of the green sea and warm light, and because everything is beautiful and you are in the middle.

26. The boy should incarnate as a soldier in different battlefields and give his woman a fairy tale.

I'm not as smart as you think, so don't play tricks on me.

28. A man and a woman were called by the teacher to answer questions at the same time, and the whole class was coughing. This is the best campus time in my memory.

29. It is better for me to call for help than to have such scruples.

30. I live well without you, but it doesn't mean that you are unimportant.

3 1, {Let go of the girl and let the old woman go first}

32. Leave the people around you and complain that you are lonely and unloved.

33. Your suffering and your pain are my feelings after ten times.

You said I had changed, but I didn't live according to your idea.

35. The worst thing in life is that you are hungry without you.

What disappoints women is not that you have no money, but that you don't see hope in you.

37. How are you doing now? If you have a bad life, I will feel at ease.

38. After the transfusion, the doctor came over and said, Boy, you are lucky to have another bottle.

39. You are the author of your own life. Why do you want to write the script miserably?

40. Guess which superhero I want to be? Spider-Man? Superman? No, your man.

4 1, the right way in the world is vicissitudes, don't be too arrogant to live.

42. In the teacher's eyes, all the questions on the test paper are given points, but in my opinion, all the questions on the test paper are deducted points.

43. The math teacher's mantra is simple @ # RMB%

44. I have always been alone and never need to be loved.

45. I used to like to cling to the past because I was sick before, and there is a better present to cherish.

46. Too beautiful a name is also a mistake. The hit rate was too high, and the teacher pulled it back.

Wechat posts funny sentences.

1, losing weight is not that easy, every piece of meat has its temper.

2. The highest state of vacation is: bored to active learning.

3. People in their thirties still like to call themselves girls, while those who are sixteen or seventeen prefer to call themselves old ladies.

The only reason to hand in the papers in advance is that the people around you are of no use value.

If Lu Xun were still alive, he would not be able to solve his reading problem.

6. After you like me, I will definitely give you a dazzling meal.

7. Do you know what a woman is? It was her partner who said that when I talked to her, I felt that two men were gay!

8. Our invigilator said that the students who want to copy it should just say to get it, and don't always squint at me, or they will not explain it well to your parents at the parent-teacher meeting!

9. A girl shouted at the beautiful mountains and rivers: Motherland! My mother! A boy who secretly loves her quickly shouted: motherland! My mother-in-law

10 One day, Lady White Snake farted, and Xu Xian suddenly realized, "Lady, are you a rattlesnake?"

1 1, I've always heard people say how cool it is to open a room. Finally, one day I couldn't help getting a room ... it's really cool to sleep in such a big bed alone!

Give me a test paper about EXO and let me tell you what a real principal is.

13, Don't be a woman in the next life by Chen Rui and Don't be a man in the next life by Xin Yi. Comments: Don't be a man in the next life!

14. Who invented instant noodles? One bowl is not enough, two bowls are not enough.

15, the Spring Festival is about adults playing cards and children playing around, which makes me feel so embarrassed that I am neither too big nor too small.

16, I just like him, you bite me!

17, people review before the exam, Nima, I seem to be previewing when I open the book!

18, the biggest regret in life is that I can't kiss myself.

19, rock, paper, scissors, if you lose, it's mine, if you win, it's mine.

When I tried to have a cup of tea, I found that there were too many teas at that time.

2 1, don't pretend to be Bao Qingtian just because you have a scar on your head!

22. My biggest dream is to break my sleep record.

23, people, born in bed, died in bed, want to live to death, but also in bed.

24. I want to be like stinky tofu, smelling stinky and eating fragrant. This is called connotation.

25. Sometimes I find myself ugly and take out my ID card to find that I think too much.

26. I don't want to take the paper or look at the score. This is not cool at all.

27. My wife likes watching penguins, so we are going to Africa and see kangaroos.

28. Teacher, just say which parent you like, and don't always hold parent-teacher conferences.

29. Only those who do well in the exam will say that they have failed in the exam, and they don't even want to say the real scum.

30. My most insidious, worst and biggest plot is to make you fall in love with me.

3 1, "Why is winter vacation shorter than summer vacation?" "Thermal expansion and cold contraction." "Then why is there so much homework?" "Because the quality remains the same."

I have a dream since I was a child, that is, everyone in China will give me a dollar.

Don't laugh suddenly when playing with your mobile phone at home, or your parents will think you are in love.

People who say I have a plan come and tell me how you can tell that I have a plan.

35. invigilator+geographical location+student friendliness in the examination room+mobile phone traffic+mobile phone search speed = test scores.

36. How many beautiful legs are ruined on the face, how many beautiful women are ruined on the body, how many beautiful men are ruined on the height, and how many infatuated men are ruined on poverty.

37. How many students will write the solution first even if they can't do that math problem!

38. The quilt and I really love each other, but the alarm clock doesn't think so.

39, hang conan in the room, trying to fail.

40. I don't want exams, comments or rankings, because that's not cool at all.

4 1, as the old class said, the final exam results are related to your New Year! !

42. In fact, we see that the test paper and the teacher's response to the answer sheet are the same: what the hell!

43, homework three, please respect yourself, I am a person with winter vacation.

44, a winter vacation is only 20 days! These days, it takes 33 days to be lovelorn.

45. My ex-boyfriend sent me a message asking me to attend his wedding. I calmly answered three words: next time.

46. Quarrel as a child is as simple as this: "You are a pig", "You are a pig" and "Rebound!" "The rebound is invalid!"

47. Daily: I am a big hero Rain Orange: I am a big hero Daily: You are a superwoman

48. Forgive me for being so sexy when I was a child that I didn't even wear underwear.

49. Think about how much you looked down on 60 points in those years. What a stupid idea.

50. Big coin: surf the Internet on the front, sleep on the back, if it is broken, I will study.