The child is becoming more and more clingy. Tell me about it.

Sticky baby makes mother feel distressed and helpless. Babies' attachment to their mothers sometimes warms their hearts. This attachment is a strong emotional connection. The baby regards his mother as his whole world! But sometimes a clingy baby will become a sweet burden to Ma Bao, especially when Ma Bao is exhausted, how much she longs to have a little personal space and recall the freedom before giving birth to a baby.

When a baby is growing up, there are generally three periods when he is particularly clingy. The first sticky period occurred around 9 months. Because the baby has an understanding of the constancy of things, that is, he realizes that disappearance still exists, so whenever his mother disappears in front of his eyes, the baby will attract his mother to come back to accompany him by crying and become very clingy.

The second clingy period occurred around 1.5 years old. Because at this stage, the baby begins to sprout self-awareness and yearns for independence, but his own ability often cannot meet the needs and realize his wishes, so he becomes very contradictory and emotionally unstable. Leaving your mother can lead to anxiety and rebellious behavior. In addition, the baby's sticky degree reached its peak at this stage.

Children with this attachment pattern will regard their mother as their safe base. He may or may not cry when his mother is separated from him. If he didn't cry because he was afraid, he would rather be with his mother. Such children are calmer, more confident and more likely to trust others. In this way, the parents of most children will be aware of their children's needs in time and meet their children in time. This can let children know that someone will appear when needed, and they always believe that things will develop in a good direction.

Children with anxious attachment use anxiety to hide their fear of being abandoned. Most of these people are in the fear of being neglected or abandoned for a long time, because their parents are insensitive, untimely, unsustainable or sometimes good and sometimes bad to their response. Such a child is timid and irritable, looks anxious and nervous, always worried about being abandoned and hostile to the world.

Such children have the same attitude towards people who take care of them as strangers. They don't care when their mother is here, and they don't care when their mother is away. When their caregivers hug them, they often refuse. Most of these children can't feel the love and care of their parents since childhood, but they have developed the ability of self-regulation at a very young age. They don't want to be helped, and they don't want to depend on others for anything.

The reasons for sticking people are separation anxiety, insecurity and weak sense of independence, so parents should give their children enough love, strengthen their sense of security and reduce separation anxiety; Cultivate children's sense of independence and make them more powerful to cope with loneliness; Use appropriate skills when separating from children to reduce their negative emotions; Give children high-quality companionship and ensure stable and infrequent attachment objects.

Don't be misled by the fallacy of "don't cry". Babies who grow up like this will lack sense of security and trust in others, have an escape attachment style, and may have psychological or personality problems when they grow up.

The intimate relationship between parents and children is like a bank deposit. The more intimate memories are stored, the closer the parent-child relationship will be. Therefore, parents usually express their love to their children. The expression of love depends not only on language, but also on intimate physical contact, such as hugging and kissing children, which will make children feel full of love from their parents. More memories of love will make children feel more secure, have more ability and strength to overcome the sadness and fear when they are separated from their parents, and will not feel abandoned.

After the average child10.5 years old, mothers should learn to leave a period of time for their children to play alone every day, which will not only improve their ability to be alone, but also better cultivate their concentration.

Secondly, manage emotions and create a sense of ceremony: when leaving, the mother should first not show sadness and unbearable emotions, otherwise it will increase the child's sense of sadness and can leave with a smile. Let the parting have a sense of ceremony, such as hugging or kissing goodbye, asking the children to help or giving responsibility (helping with the bag and taking care of grandma). Transfer the child's attention to parting. Mom should leave home neatly, don't procrastinate, turn around in three steps or turn around when she hears the baby crying, which is not good.

Don't leave secretly, it will catch the child off guard. After the mother comes back, the child will become more clingy, because the child is afraid that her mother will suddenly disappear from her.

Third, prepare a soothing object for the child: For babies under 1 year old, soothing objects with mother's body odor and breath are all sleep artifacts, which can be a piece of mother's clothes, blankets, soothing towels, etc. (However, small-month-old babies should carefully choose the object of appeasement, otherwise it will easily lead to suffocation). Preparing soothing objects for children can not only help children fall asleep independently, but also relieve their emotions when they miss their mothers and make them feel. For older babies, you can prepare some family photos and his favorite dolls as quilts. Whenever I miss my mother, I look at photos and hug dolls, and I feel that I am not alone.

Children with high-quality companionship will not be timid and clingy, but will be more independent and confident, because their hearts are full of love and security, knowing that home is a warm harbor and believing that things will always develop in a good direction. Even if the situation is worse, parents will always love him.

Children's attachment objects are mostly caregivers who have the most daily contact, and the attachment objects should be less separated from children. American child psychologists point out that children who are separated from attached objects for more than three months will lead to serious mental defects. Professor Li Meijin also pointed out that if children are rarely taken care of by their mothers since childhood and do not form an attachment relationship with their mothers, it will be difficult for their mothers to play an effective role when they grow up.