The newly-married girl cried and said, "I gave birth to a child as soon as the Spring Festival. I am under great pressure and don't want to celebrate the New Year." What should I do?

Xiao Jing is my college classmate. She just got married last year 1 1 month. Within a few months of marriage, people around her have already started urging her to have children. Xiao Jing said that she was particularly sad and didn't want to go home for the New Year now.

Her life plan is not like this. She doesn't intend to have children so soon, but people around her have begun to persuade her that the emperor is not in a hurry and she is beginning to worry.

Indeed, there will always be people around us who will get married before we get married. When we get married, they will start rushing to have children again. In their eyes, getting married and having children is so easy.

Usually we are surrounded by these people who advise to have children: in-laws, parents, girlfriends and friends, everywhere.

The general reason for the birth of a husband's family is nothing more than to have grandchildren or to give themselves a reassurance. After all, even if they are dissatisfied with the man after giving birth, few women will leave their children for divorce. Mom's family and girlfriends are born in the name of being good to you, while seven aunts and eight aunts are just following the crowd, just talking.

They all have their own reasons for having children: having children early is conducive to physical recovery; Marriage is marriage, and early birth and late childbirth are all births, so it is better to be born early; If you have children early, you can do your own thing early. ...

These various reasons have bound women and changed their wishes.

But do these statements really make sense? This is that different people have different opinions.

These armies were born in the name of being good to us, but in fact? Also have their own ideas.

Give the following examples:

When Ms. Wang and her husband got married, they agreed not to have children first, to work together for their careers, and to plan their children's affairs after their careers gained something.

Although the plan is good, I can't bear the life of my husband's family. My parents-in-law often ask them to have children. At first, they can cope together. Later, my mother-in-law lived in their house and began to have children. Ms. Wang told her mother-in-law many times that they were busy with their careers and had no time to take care of their children, hoping to dispel her mother-in-law's thoughts.

As a result, the mother-in-law suggested that the child could be helped after birth. Helpless, her husband acquiesced, and Ms. Wang had to give birth.

As a result, as soon as the child was born, her mother-in-law went back and her mother was in poor health. Ms. Wang was neglected and finally had to take a month off. When the second month came out, she could only take care of the children alone, and her husband worked hard alone.

Although the husband's income is good, but only one person's salary, plus a child, their life has been very tense.

It turns out that it is useful to have an army? Yes, it's a mess.

Having an army will only think for yourself, never for your small family. Like Ms. Wang's mother-in-law, having children is only to achieve her goal of being a mother-in-law. When the daughter-in-law gives birth to a child, she doesn't care at all. This is called indifference.

So, in the face of an offensive that gave birth to an army, we should follow them, right? This requires every woman to think for herself. Generally speaking, you are the one who gave birth to the child, so this kind of thing can only be thought of for you.

Every woman should know that you should never have children just because of what others say. If you want to have children, there is only one reason, and that is that you are ready to be a mother.

I often hear some men say: it's just giving birth. Whenever I hear this sentence, I get angry. It is a woman who gives birth to a child, and it is a woman who suffers. Every time they give birth to a child, it is a huge load on women's health. Men have never experienced it, so they can say such boastful things.

So, if many people advise you to have children, do you want to have children? I think it depends on what women think. If they want to, they will be born. If they don't want to, they won't be born. But if you want to have children, women should be more cautious.

Just pay attention to the following two aspects:

One: When you are prepared economically and psychologically, you will have another child.

This preparation is twofold. The first is money. You have to have a certain economic strength to have children. Some people will say: in the past, when money was scarce, children were born, and there was more than one. It used to be okay, but now it's not. If you have no money, it means that you can't even afford to raise a child. What's the use of him?

A child needs to spend money everywhere from the beginning of pregnancy. If he doesn't have a certain financial strength, he must have children, which will be a disaster. Imagine how you can raise a child for more than ten years without a certain savings, so a certain economic strength is very important.

The second is psychological preparation. Only when you are ready to be a mother and always alert yourself to your responsibilities as a mother can you become a good mother.

Taking care of a child is not only to make him eat and wear warm, but also to build all kinds of guidance and care on love. To be a mother, you must first have a mature heart. But many times, many girls are already the mother of their children before their psychology is fully mature, which is somewhat dangerous.

Two: When you are psychologically sure that you can have children, then think about whether you want to have children.

You can get divorced when you are married, but you can't put it back when you have a child. As soon as the child is born, it means that we are responsible for him.

Therefore, we should decide whether to have children before we are born and have the right to choose.

This means that you should have absolute confidence in the man who has had children with you, and make sure that even if you have children, he will take good care of you.

The first time a woman lost her freedom was when she got married, and the second time when she had a child. Before the baby is born, women are free to divorce if they are not satisfied and if there are problems in this marriage, because this is their own business. But after giving birth to a child, even if the marriage goes wrong, you should consider the child. At that time, you will not be as free and easy as before on the issue of whether to divorce. To some extent, you may compromise for your children and make do with it.

Therefore, only when you determine the character of this man and the strength of your small family will you consider having children.

Whether or not to have a baby is never as simple as it is said. It has only three simple words, but it takes ten months to conceive carefully and endure painful childbirth. Raising a child requires more than ten years of meticulous care, enough care, enough patience and enough love, which is a special test of endurance and endurance.

Therefore, the majority of female friends, when giving birth to children, must be cautious, don't believe the "sweet words" of giving birth to the army, and carefully plan for themselves and make all the preparations.

The Spring Festival should be born. If you're not ready, go in one ear and out the other. They urged them. You should follow your own plan and don't be influenced.

-End-