1 1.29 Publish funny classic quotations.

In an economics class at the university, the professor asked the students, "What's the difference between a creditor and a debtor?" A student stood up and answered, "Creditors have a good memory, but creditors have a poor memory."

In other words, we should also pay attention to technology and find the right person at the right time and place. For example, I am online at the moment.

In college, a cyclist may be a doctoral supervisor, while a Mercedes-Benz driver may be a well-off student.

I just learned to ride a bike when I was a child. Before I knew it, I ran into the street. When I saw an old man walking in front of me, I thought I was going to bump into him. I said, don't move, don't move. The old man stood there for a while without moving, so I turned around and hit him. The old man stood up and said, What are you aiming at?

In the internet world, your girlfriend may be a man and your boyfriend may be a woman, which is very painful, but you have to accept it.

Relax, I'm not a good person.

Q: If there is 300W, do you think it is better to buy a Mercedes or a Ferrari? It's best to buy 300 second-hand Otto cars and hire 300 drivers to drive behind you, one in an S shape and the other in a B shape.

Dear female colleagues, please don't discharge to me, my wife has a caller ID!

The happiest thing every day is to watch my wife pat her face with lotion in the morning. That's so cool. While listening, I said to myself, "I told you to let me wash my socks, let me pick up the children, let me not drink, let me not play games, fight, fight, fight hard!" "

As a typical failure, you really succeeded!

Well, Mr. Zhang. You can't press CTRL+C on your home computer and then CTRL+V on your company computer. Not even the same article. No, no, it's not even an expensive computer.

Passbook and money have been in love for many years, but they have not been married for a long time. Qian asked the passbook, "Why don't you marry me?" The passbook says, "Honey, if I marry you, you won't be mine."

A seven-year-old boy is the most terrible creature on earth. They are curious, active, destructive and have the law on the protection of minors.

A man posted his photo in a marriage advertisement and wrote: I belong to a purely original work, and the copyright belongs to my parents. If you need a baby, please contact me to register for marriage!

Anyway, my life is always different from their calculations I don't know whether they are wrong or I am wrong.

When I have money, I will buy a bus, take the bus lane and stop at the bus stop. When someone wants to get on the bus, I will say: Sorry, this is a private car.

A cannibal went to work, and the manager repeatedly told him not to eat his colleagues and agreed. A few days later, I couldn't help eating a detergent and was immediately discovered. The sentiment is: never eat people who really do things.

Do you want to have good teeth? Here are three lessons for you: brush your teeth frequently; Go to the hospital for dental examination once a year; Third, mind your own business.

People always want to let ghosts and gods know when they do good things, but they always feel that ghosts and gods don't know when they do bad things. We embarrassed ghosts and gods.

In 2020, classic quotation phrases will be released.

There is no love that requires you to give up your dignity, bring disgrace to oneself, and makes you miserable. Love may make you feel overwhelmed, jealous, angry and tearful. But it is warm in the end, which can give you pleasure and security. If not, you either love the wrong person or use the wrong method. Being single is better than suffering. Without the hug you want, learn to be strong first.

Love is cruel and the winner is king. Feelings can be transferred, marriages can be frozen at any time, passions can be overdrawn, and love can fetch a good price. Yes, this is our life in this small city. Let's go out together today and do my best. The safest and most timely way is to be with yourself.

Don't blame women for their reality. Women are realistic only because they have experienced the pain of love and the tempering of life. In fact, behind the reality, women still have a bright hope in their hearts. I hope that one day, a man, like himself, will read all the books about Qian Fan, but he still has hope. Only such a man can understand why women are realistic.

Love needs a lot of tolerance, dedication, patience, and constant creation. It takes many twists and turns to cultivate true love. Moreover, love is not equal to a lifetime commitment, just as love at first sight is not equal to growing old together. No matter how intense the love is, there will always be a cooling day, and it will often retaliate against the previous fierceness.

Two people together, not for who can hold who, but for the interdependence, trust and persistence of two people. If a person is caught, it is not because he is afraid that you will leave him, but because he cares more about each other. Similarly, if you can hold someone all the time, sooner or later you will get tired of it, and no one will need someone who listens to you to accompany you. When two people are together, they feel tired and comfortable, and love will last long …

It ended from the beginning, because the beginning was cruel and the end was cruel. It's just so exquisite that we forget cruelty. If you ask me, would you still love in that situation? I will not hesitate to answer: yes, but I will love more rationally. In fact, since the beginning and the end are cruel, we are destined to love each other. Then we might as well package this cruelty more exquisitely.

The most romantic love story is when the person who broke up with you calls and asks: How are you? Your usual answer: I'm fine. In fact, you still love him, and you are not good at all. Men pretend to be strong, but they are afraid of being found weak by women. A woman pretends to be happy, but in fact she is afraid that a man will find her sad.

Now, do you remember your bright smile in the sun? Now, do you remember wearing gardenias in early summer? Now, do you remember reading comic books in class? Now, do you still remember the good memories of that youth? Now, do you remember me who had a crush on you for a long time? Now, do you remember me today?

The lover is very suspicious, and no matter how exquisite and reasonable it is, it will become flawed in his eyes. But on the other hand, are there some expressions that are clumsy because they are too passionate, or maybe they are disguised as tricks? As the saying goes, "Great wisdom is foolish, great wisdom is foolish." Once doubt and fear arise, any words are immediately suspended and invalid.

Men use their eyes when they are in love, and women use their hearts when they are in love. Men's eyes depend on radiation, while women's hearts depend on conduction. Men's pursuit of women is a quick victory, but the result is often that the rain clears up, while women's pursuit of men is to slowly penetrate and drip through the stone. Men become very painful after falling in love, and women become very nervous after falling in love.

When a woman is financially independent, her requirements for men will also rise from plane aesthetics to three-dimensional, which is a gradual development process, because no man can live well. This material calmness made her slow down the pace of marriage and love, no longer like an impatient girl who desperately wanted to marry a pot, no matter what material it was. Women, only economic independence can be more emboldened to do other things.

If you cherish it, you will find that you gain more and more. If you pursue blindly, you will find that you lose faster and faster. Love is reasonable, don't compromise, don't believe in perfect love, in fact, each other has shortcomings, a simple cuteness is enough.

Like is not equal to love. Don't accept it easily if you don't like it; If the other person just likes you but doesn't love you, then don't accept his likes. You should remember that you are unique in this world, no one is like you, and you don't need to replace anyone. Don't be like you said, just find someone who loves you. There are many good boys in the world. You will meet someone who likes you and you like him. So baby, don't indulge in love, don't be stingy with love.

There is a person who loved and ended; There is a saying, once said, I regret it; If there is a wound, it will be numb when it hurts; There is a heart, which is broken when it trembles. A family relationship, too close, will be cut off; A friendship, too intimate, will be diluted; A love, too deep, is the end of the play; An intersection, if too difficult, is the wrong choice …

No one can see through my bluff and protect my vulnerability. Don't really leave me alone when I say "nothing, you go". Don't really think that I can't feel pain and sadness without talking. Don't really think that when I am busy with my own affairs, if nothing happens, I will not be affected. Can there be such a person?

If one day I can't help asking you who you love most, please lie to me. No matter how reluctant you are, please say that the person you love most is me.

Like is not equal to love. Don't accept it easily if you don't like it; If the other person just likes you but doesn't love you, then don't accept his likes. Remember, you are unique in this world, no one is like you,/and you don't need to replace anyone. Don't be like you said, just find someone who loves you. There are many good boys in the world. You will meet someone who likes you and you like him. So baby, don't indulge in love, don't be stingy with love.

Once upon a time, love began to slowly become dull. You ask: Aren't we in love? If not, why is it so dull? I was silent for a long time, and love began to slowly become dull. It's not that love has changed qualitatively, but that love has changed qualitatively. Life and death are generous, and Zi Cheng says. Hold your hand and grow old with your son.

I like you, so you are not beautiful at all. I will hold your hand and introduce it proudly in front of my friends. Because your appearance doesn't matter. I like you, so you can have no money. I am willing to squeeze the bus with you every day, and I am willing to work hard with you. Because everyone has his own value. I like you and I can indulge everything about you. But only if you deserve my love.

Love and love are not enough to enter a woman's heart. You must understand her: understand her weakness of trying to be brave and give her spiritual support; Understand the sadness in her happiness and give her spiritual care; Understand her rudeness and respond accurately to the expectations in her eyes; Know where her heart is going and walk through the storm with her ... In fact, she doesn't ask much, she just wants to find a lover who fully understands her.

We will go on as always, watching flowers bloom and fall, watching clouds open, listening to mountains and rivers, singing fishing boats and singing late. Take a walk in the wild. Let the passing sunset dye the horizon pale pink and spread across the cloud belt. Then stroke your long hair, pull up your chin and kiss deeply.

The world is big, but I don't know how far it is. This world is neither heaven nor hell, and the end is far away, but it can safeguard its own world. Those obsessions, those old days, passed in an instant. Life is the same, nothing has changed. What changes is ourselves. Time changes rapidly. Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but firmly believing that he/she won't hurt you.

Acacia in the middle of the month, the heart and the moon inadvertently look at each other, blown into my eyes by the wind, peeping at your most intimate thoughts. As a result, the faint heart dust has carved a faint trace of acacia. After hearing this, my heart softened, my eyes swelled and my feelings deepened. I thought for a long time and felt the softest point in my heart.

A woman who loves knows that if she loses herself, she loses everything. She attaches great importance to improving her own quality and keeping pace with the times. She has her own thoughts and pursuits, which makes her full of vitality and charm forever, and makes her husband have to get to know her again and again. Their love was also sublimated. She knows it's called: love and marriage are synchronized.

Let's talk about the classic comedy released in 2020.

20xx's latest classic is funny. Tell me about it.

1. What RMB should do is to take the road of dollars, so that dollars have no way to go.

2. A Taoist who doesn't want to be an abbot is not a good Taoist!

3, can't bear it, just bear it again!

I know astronomy above, geography below, but I don't know English.

5. A good horse never turns back, because there is no turning back.

6. Life is like taking a shit. Although you try hard, you can still fart.

7. Sleeping means getting up tomorrow ~ ~! !

8. Only an ugly woman can say that a man is a playboy, and only an incompetent man can say that a woman is realistic ~ money is the basis of mastering everything.

9. As a post-80s generation, I am still giggling!

10, soldiers who don't want to be soldiers are not good soldiers.

1 1, it looks fat, and it's still fat when you take off your clothes!

12, when I was a child, I dreamed of becoming the owner of the landlord's house. The fertile land is thousands of hectares, and I am ignorant all day long. I'm fine. Take dogs and slaves to the streets to flirt with good families!

13. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves.

14, girls are precious, and young women are more expensive. If there are rich women, you can throw them away.

15, I swear I will never swear again!

16, my lack of money and women's hearts shows that he is not fucking wicked!

17, stand tall and pee far.

18, cherish drugs and stay away from life.

19, half of life is unlucky, and the other half is dealing with unlucky things.

20. Is there true love? Of course, there are many in TV series.

2 1. Flowers bloom not to wither, but to bloom more brilliantly.

22, stupid is stupid is too smart!

23. Start with your heart.

Legally speaking, a sexual relationship based on money is whoring. If I text you, we will have a "trust" relationship. Although it's only a dime, at least I've fucked you in my life!

25. Although I lied to you, you should believe me!

26. Women's tears are the most useless liquid, but you make women cry to show that you are useless.

27, haha, living is the last word.

28, alive, one day life will burn out, the body will return to the earth, flowers will bloom. The soul becomes a memory and lives in people's hearts forever. Everything in the world goes on, and so does human life.

29. In public, I often choose politeness, but in private, I often insult my manners.

30. There are two kinds of men: one is lascivious and the other is very lascivious; There are two kinds of women: one is pure and the other is impure.

3 1, ugly people, that is also special, that is, very ugly. The best among people.

Before the exam, I thought I knew everything. After the exam, I found that I didn't know anything.

33. It is better to spend money than to spend it.

34. Ugly people are human beings. Because you are ugly, you are human.

35. Busy-busy your heart. Without your heart, you will die …

36, hatred is like fire, hate others but burn yourself.

Children who live in fairy tales will die in fairy tales.

38. How many worries can you have, just like a group of eunuchs watching a brothel.

39, don't test people, people can't stand the test.

In 2020, classic quotations were released.

20xx publishes the latest classic quotations.

1, after reading the language of 10, it is better to talk about QQ for half a year.

Debut at the age of 2 or 0, every day 10. 20-year-old dream, 30-year-old effort. At the age of 40, it is basically oriented, and at the age of 50, it is full of popularity. Playing mahjong at the age of 60 and wandering around at the age of 70. 80-year-old lesbians are very common, and 90-year-old lesbians are hanging on the wall!

3. "Honey, I'm ... I'm pregnant for ... three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, you're not responsible ..."

I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver.

6. personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.

7. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

8, fate is responsible for shuffling, but it is ourselves who play cards!

9, you come back quickly, I can't fool alone!

10, life is the mouth of Song Like Zude, and you never know who will be unlucky next.

1 1. If you fall, get up and cry again.

12. Besides teeth, there is love in the world.

13, a dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed, "555, I finally don't have to worry about getting married in my life ..."

14, born, easy. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

15. My cousin is over forty years old. Starting from the text, I failed in the exam for three years. Then I practiced martial arts, and as soon as I made a move in the martial arts field, I was fired from playing drums. Change the medicine, write the prescription, eat it, and die.

16, asking how sad you can be, just like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel. ...

17, my life is limited and my food is limited.

18, when I was a child, I often made faces in the mirror; In old age, mirrors are flat.

19, are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!

20. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

2 1, patting the head to make a decision, patting the chest to ensure leaving.

We walk so fast that our souls can't keep up. ...

23, don't argue with the earth people.

24, girls from virgins to women as long as a success, boys from virgins to men need repeated training!

25, come out to mix, the wife will change sooner or later!

When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. ...

27. Rich people are grandfathers! But there are even more people who owe money and don't pay it back!

28. We have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dung.

29. Being lazy in bed in the morning, I took out six coins from my pocket: If all six are heads, I will go to class! Think for a long time, forget it, don't take the risk. ...

30. I can tolerate that my figure is fake, my face is fake, my chest is fake and my ass is fake! But I just can't stand that money is fake!

3 1, the scholar plays dead for his bosom friend, and the woman has plastic surgery for herself.

32. When I grow up, I want to marry the Tang Priest. If I can play, I will play. If I can't, I will eat him.

33. You can't have two tigers in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

34. Don't wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

If my friends can sell for five dollars each, I can make a small fortune.

36. Give me a little sunshine, and I will rot.

You must eat a little properly to lose weight.

Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

39, why sleep for a long time, will sleep after death? ...

Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately-in the end, he killed all the students.

4 1, diamonds last forever, and one goes bankrupt!

42. In a harmonious campus, cyclists may be doctors, while Mercedes-Benz drivers may be logistics. ...

43, it is gold, it will always be spent; This is a mirror. It always reflects light. ...

44. The reason why my girlfriend is not a nun is that she hasn't passed CET-4 and won't accept it in buddhist nun.

45. Nothing money can solve is a problem.

46. Listen to you and save me ten books!

47. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

48. If you see a shadow in front, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind!

49. I am an animal when I take off my clothes, and I am the devil wears Prada when I put on my clothes!

50. Teacher, just follow the old lady! ... after a long time ... teacher, please give me a break!