Will children who reorganize their families feel inferior psychologically?

This problem is very important for every reorganized family. Let me talk about two misunderstandings first:

1, for the sake of children, so don't divorce. Many people think that in order to give children a complete home, maintaining a broken marriage is the right choice. This problem can be clearly stated in one sentence: for children, a good family atmosphere is far more important than whether the family is complete or not. Many divorced families have a bad influence on their children, not because the family is not complete enough, but because of persistent complaints, accusations and quarrels after divorce.

As long as I do well enough, my children will be mentally healthy. In fact, raising children is a matter of probability, because there are too many factors for growth. Even if the family is harmonious, both parents are psychological counselors, and the children raised may not be psychologically healthy. The reason why we should learn a little parenting knowledge to make ourselves better is to increase the probability of children's health. The final result is hard to say.

Let's talk about inferiority.

Adler, the author of Inferiority and Transcendence, believes that everyone has an inferiority complex. There are several reasons for this:

1, family factors, children are weak, compared with strong parents, feel vulnerable inside.

2, genetic factors, there will always be some defects in the body, or places where you are not satisfied.

3. Social factors. Compared with others, mainstream social aesthetics will lead to imperfect self-feeling.

Adler believes that inferiority is the original motive force of human behavior. Inferiority will not only lead to self-abandonment or collapse, but also make people develop themselves better in the process of overcoming inferiority.

The conclusion drawn from this angle is that inferiority has nothing to do with your family situation, it will always happen, it has two sides, not all of which are bad.

Now, let's go back to the topic of inferiority, which mainly refers to: low sense of self-worth, and therefore lost the motivation to do things.

Inferiority is to look down on yourself, that is, to feel worthless. What is worthless? Things that can't bring benefits to yourself. In other words, inferiority is thinking that you can't realize your needs.

It is important to understand this. This will help you understand how parents deprive their children of their abilities and make them feel worthless. These means include, but are not limited to:

1, beating and cursing. Educate children by scolding them with sticks, so that they feel unloved and can be discarded at any time like garbage. This is the most direct denial of the child, and it will make him feel that he should not exist in this world.

2. It's arranged. Don't let children do anything, thinking that they just need to study. Children lost the opportunity to learn life skills. If their studies are frustrated, they will feel useless.

3. Contrast. Always use other people's children to deny their own children, so that children feel ashamed, thinking that this can motivate children to work hard. This method has never worked, but it has been used.

From this perspective, it is the same conclusion: inferiority has nothing to do with your family situation, but depends on the way you treat your children.

Next is the gift part. What should I do if I find my child feel inferior? There are three immature suggestions:

1. Design some small things that you are sure your child can accomplish and let him do it alone. The core of self-worth is self-confidence, which is established by constantly completing some challenges in life.

2. praise the child's efforts, not the results. Praise process will gradually make children understand the importance of the process. Slowly, he will learn to enjoy the process, which will naturally bring better results.

3. Love him unconditionally and express it often.

Being a parent is not easy. After all, it is the first time or the second time for most people. In addition to learning some knowledge and skills, it is more important for us to let go of our anxiety and face parenting with a relaxed heart.

Your relaxation will change the atmosphere of the whole family, and the atmosphere is the air for children to grow up.