How can a psychological coach give himself an idea-the writing of a real topic? First question

as a psychological coach, one of the basic skills is concept. When I just took the Green Belt exam, I often took some events around me to sort out six questions by myself. Just like this, I can see some things inside me after writing and combing. At the same time, my mode is a little loose, and my fingers will be taken back. Sometimes, reverse thinking will scare myself. Yes, this is what I really think. It's terrible, but it's too deep to be seen. When I was in the red class, I was inexplicably very emotional about a coach in the same group, and the other partner saw it (a coach in Shanxi, who is also a psychological counselor, asked me, Xiao Ma, you just met, why do I feel that your words are aimed at that partner), because my tone of voice is very unfriendly, and I wonder myself. We just met, so why are we emotional? In order not to affect my later experience, I wrote six questions immediately after class, and then looked at the questions by myself and thought backwards one by one. I just found out that when she added me to WeChat to confirm the trainees, I saw her circle of friends selling hot socks. At that time, I thought it was too funny that psychological coaches should be pure and not be Wechat business. Maybe I have high expectations for the psychological coach. When I saw this, I immediately let go of my feelings for her.

It is also because many psychological coaches have not tasted the sweetness of analyzing themselves, so I use a topic that has been bothering me for a long time to introduce myself.

1. I'm tired of Xiao A, because she often asks questions and says she's grateful, but she feels so fake.

Is it really because she always asks questions that I am tired of her? Is it true?/You don't say. Actually, it's not that she likes to ask questions, but I have a feeling of being exploited, because this has happened several times. Before the salon starts, she will make an appointment with me in advance for hypnosis and healing, which makes me very tired. In the salon, there are many questions. I like to ask questions and remember pens. Say gratitude, but don't feel sincere. Makes me feel intimidated. There is a feeling of being sucked with blood. I suddenly realized that my own boundaries had been violated. When I am writing, I feel depressed in my chest.

reverse thinking:

1. Xiao A is bored with me, because she often asks questions and says she is grateful, but she feels so fake.

well, probably, because of my impatience, I passed it on to my partner and let my partner see my insincerity and perfunctory, so I am also fake.

2. Xiao A is bored with me because I always ask questions. I am grateful, but I don't mean it.

yes, I am also a person who likes to specialize in research and ask questions. Especially friends who have a good relationship with themselves. For example, I met Zhiling when I joined the Yalong Group in 215. In the group, although she is three years younger than me, her gentleness, listening and emotional ability make me feel like her big sister next door, so I trust her very much. After each of the 2 group gatherings, we will walk together for a while. I like chatting with her and asking her questions. In recent years, if I have any confusion, I will ask her for help. If she doesn't receive it at that time, she will call me back later. In the key stage of my study in recent years, she has been invaluable in accompanying me, encouraging me every time, not suggesting, waiting and listening. Every time I share my harvest with her, she admires my rapid growth and says she admires my speed. Sometimes, I realize something and like to share it with her. She said, yes, it's no use telling you directly if you want to feel it yourself and understand it yourself. With my own growth, I used to call several times a week, but I didn't meet by phone every month. When I get to the scene, I can stay out of contact for months, and I can spend it safely. In this process, I sincerely thank her for her company. And through this process, I am also thinking about why I can't project on her, or that she doesn't pick up my projection. The relationship between her and me is a safe boundary. She has maintained her distance and there is a very suitable boundary between us. Now she is a very professional child psychological counselor. Through this incident, it occurred to me that no matter who I meet externally, it is up to me to decide how to define this incident and whether I feel good or not. And this friend has a limited and affectionate company, because she has no advice and no compulsion to me. Because she believes that everyone will change and grow at the right time, because it is only a matter of time to go this way. When you can't stand the pain, you are willing to change, and the change must be active, not under the advice and coercion of others. Grateful for the company and encouragement of friends, it is priceless.

3. I feel bored with me because I often like to ask questions. I am grateful, but I don't mean it.

Yes, this mood is my own, and boredom is the result of my own thoughts and my own boredom. Not each other. Didn't I ask a question about her sincerity? Is this a question? I didn't appreciate my partner's company and showed my desire in her own way. I said that I am grateful for my company, but I didn't do it completely. Do more when you feel good, and judge others when you feel bad. Shame.

4. I feel bored with me because she always asks questions. I am grateful, but I don't mean it.

yes, when I raised the idea that she often likes to ask questions, I also had emotions inside and felt intimidated. That's because I have a desire and forget my goals and objectives in doing these things. My goal is to grow myself through such activities. When I am in a mood, I should take a good look at what is happening inside me, instead of hypnotizing myself again and again and thinking that it is the other person's problem. When I firmly grasp the problems I think, but don't reflect on them in time, the existence of these ideas will aggravate the authenticity of the script I read and create a more realistic plot for me to reflect. So I was played in.

5. I am happy with Xiao A, because she often asks questions. I am grateful, but I don't mean it.

Great, I can be happy. When she asks me a question, it is a test of how I interact intelligently. At the same time, I say that I am grateful, but I don't feel it myself, because it is not the result I want, so I can't accept it even if the other person says it. It's my own heart that hasn't been opened, and it has nothing to do with each other.

6. I feel happy with myself because she always asks questions. I am grateful, but I don't mean it.

? Yes, it is because of this judgment that I have trouble. Because of this trouble, I find myself serious. When I take it seriously, my emotions are fierce again and again. I will make some reactions and actions, and these actions will create unexpected results. So when I am aware in time and see my own process, I can take it back and study how to sort out my goals more clearly. When I know the purpose of doing this, I can better serve my vision. I can continue with joy. Remain true to our original aspiration and keep our mission firmly in mind.

(to be continued)

2. I want him to treat others sincerely, expecting him to really see others' efforts

3. She should show gratitude with practical actions, instead of paying lip service, actually demanding

4. I need her to treat others sincerely, and I need her to be real.

5. She is a selfish person who only cares about herself and doesn't like giving.

6. I don't want to chat with her anymore, and I don't want to accompany her.