Why do children feel inferior?

There will always be many challenges in the process of children's growth; And inferiority complex is undoubtedly a headache for many parents.

Inferiority is a character defect. If it is not corrected in time, it will become a "nightmare" for the child's life.

In the happy family gathering, every child is fully demonstrating his talents.

Only Lele timidly hid behind her mother and said nothing.

When it was her turn to perform, she was forced to sing by her mother, and her performance was very poor.

Her voice is as small as a mosquito and her face is flushed.

Her mother hurriedly dozen circle field: "My child is shy."

In fact, Lele is not only shy on this occasion, but even when children are playing games, she only dares to watch.

She said that she was afraid to take the initiative because she was afraid that others would not welcome her.

Lele often tells her mother that she feels bad about herself and others certainly don't like her.

Lele's mother is very worried:

This is not shyness, but inferiority.

Parents complained that the child was "blx".

"Lego can't put it together, and I am anxious to cry."

"I don't concentrate on practicing the piano, and my parents cry when they are a little louder."

The child is very fragile, which often scares the whole family to speak carefully, for fear that one carelessness will make the child cry again.

In the class, when she gets along with her classmates, there will also be disputes over small issues such as "playing games with children".

The teacher said a few words and the child began to cry.

This kind of "blx" children will find it difficult to accept other people's comments, especially criticism and even disgust.

What's more, people around her are obviously not talking about herself. She is always used to putting herself in the right position with "bad reviews" and then breaking into a furious rage.

This kind of blx child, seemingly sensitive in character, actually has a lot to do with inferiority complex.

My friend's family is a two-child family. Since having a younger sister, my brother has become very smart and sensible.

This age-inappropriate understanding makes friends both happy and worried.

Once no one could touch her beloved toy, now he will definitely give it to his sister.

When playing with other children, she always takes care of others' ideas and gives in to others.

Until one day, the child came home from school in frustration and told his mother:

He sits straighter than anyone else in class, and what annoys him is that the teacher didn't praise him.

Before going to bed at night, the mother snuggled up to her son and talked to him.

The son told his mother that since his sister was born, he was afraid that his parents would never love him again.

Everything has an answer.

A friend said that he was in tears.

Because children are worried that adults don't love her, they try to please and suppress themselves.

In fact, behind being sensible is a deep sense of inferiority, and I feel that I don't deserve to be loved.

Xiao Xin, a 1 1 year-old girl from Tianjin, refused to go to school after her parents divorced and her mother remarried and gave birth to a little brother.

She also asked her mother to be inseparable from her, and even "degenerated" to drink water from a bottle and let her mother feed her.

Being severely criticized by my mother, I started vomiting and anorexia. When she was taken to the hospital, she was all skin and bones.

What she said was chilling:

I wanted to starve myself at that time, and I was very happy to see them in such a hurry.

Wu Zhihong, a famous psychological counselor, once said:

"Jealous people, their happiness is not based on continuous efforts, but on comparison with others."

When a person's emotions are controlled by the outside world, she must be terrible and extremely pitiful.

They are not only easy to feel inferior, but also inevitably live in anxiety.

At the beginning of the new semester, the class has to choose class cadres again.

Some parents say their children don't want to run for monitor.

Parents asked why, and the child said that because she was not good enough, others would not choose her.

Three minutes before class is the time for children to show their talents. The parent encouraged the children to show themselves.

The child's answer is, I don't think I will behave well.

Children are afraid and avoid competition everywhere.

The parent said with anxiety that he was strong in everything, but inadvertently raised a child with inferiority!

Writer Bi Shumin once said:

"Inferiority is not terrible. Just put inferiority on the table, find out the reasons and manifestations of inferiority, and face it calmly. Inferiority has become a paper tiger, and it will be broken with a poke. "

No child is born with inferiority, and most of the reasons for children's inferiority are due to improper family education.

1. Always yelling and scolding children.

Once a parent shared something, which was very enlightening.

She said that her daughter is very talented in painting and often praises her children sincerely.

But her daughter doesn't seem to be very good at math. Every time she teaches her children math, she will fly into a rage and yell at them.

After several years, my daughter likes drawing more and more, and she draws better and better.

But children's math is getting worse and worse. When she writes a math problem, she even trembles as long as her mother sits next to her.

Professor Harvard has done experiments:

"Children who are often scolded by their parents will become stupid."

At the same time, parents' scolding and scolding will become children's "inner critical voice".

"I am not good enough" and "I am useless" …

This kind of denial and criticism will make children feel inferior. In the long run, this sense of inferiority will go deep into the bone marrow, making children afraid to try, dare not have imagination and become timid.

Your casual reprimand and bitter scolding, this "sense of discrimination", may become a shadow that children can't get rid of no matter how hard they try in the future.

Therefore, it is more important for a family to talk well than anything else.

A parent who can reasonably control his emotions and doesn't vent on his children's affairs is the most qualified parent.

Children's growth needs positive energy, and parents can give their children the warmest upbringing, so that children can grow up actively and become optimistic and confident.

2. Arrange children's growth

We often see such a scene:

The child is obviously five years old, and the parents are still carrying rice bowls, chasing the child and painstakingly feeding it.

The child is seven years old and his parents are still arranging for him to take a bath and wash his hair.

When children play with toys, parents always clean up after them.

Under the meticulous care of parents, children will become dependent, and then have negative emotions about study and life.

In the long run, parents will face more and more growth problems for their children.

Because parents have done too many things since childhood, children will lack the ability to deal with problems.

At the same time, when they face problems, they will be timid, have no opinion, have low energy and feel inferior.

When such children grow up, they will either live on their laurels or live with inferiority and anxiety.

Therefore, as parents, we should know how to let go and stop "arranging" our children, so that they can get a chance to grow while completing their own affairs.

3. Perfect education for children

A pair of Kochi parents, they are perfect and efficient, and they can do anything in the workplace.

But when it comes to treating children, they are at a loss.

When children draw, they will use their own perfect standards to ask them, always thinking that the painting here is not good and the painting there is not like it.

When children do their homework, they will think that this stroke is not correct and that one is scribbled.

Often late at night, children are constantly erasing and rewriting at the request of their parents, just to meet their parents' perfect requirements.

I don't know when it started, parents found that children often said negative words such as "I am so stupid" and "I can't".

Children, in the ultra-high standards of parents' perfectionism, gradually feel inferior.

The child said:

"Good or bad is the same, not recognized."

He even began to give up on himself.

Bai once said:

"The best way to ruin a person is to let him pursue perfection and achieve the ultimate."

Parents should help their children bid farewell to inferiority complex. First, they should help their children say goodbye to "I can't".

Parents should lower their standards for their children and help them get satisfaction and motivation from their own behavior.

Slowly, let the children regain their confidence.

In fact, children feel a little inferior, and parents should not be too nervous.

Yu once said:

"Only those who move from inferiority to self-confidence can be regarded as true self-confidence."

Every child who feels inferior, they are angels scattered all over the world, and they just temporarily lost their way.

Parents' warm education, wisdom and love are the bright lights to light their self-confidence.

As parents, we should truly recognize and accept children from the deep heart, allow them to try and make mistakes, and protect their young hearts.

May all our children grow up with confidence, sunshine, optimism and strength under the patient guidance and careful care of their parents.