For those parents-in-law who don’t help with anything and are reluctant to pay, but see their daughter-in-law being so talkative and want to do small things to repay them all day long, what do you thi

For those parents-in-law who don’t help with anything and are reluctant to pay, but see their daughter-in-law being so talkative and want to do small things to repay them all day long, what do you think and say?

For ordinary families without deep hatred, I think parents-in-law have no obligation to take care of their children, but children have the obligation to support their parents-in-law. (Same goes for parents-in-law.)

I am really not a traditional person, and I don’t have deep feelings for my parents-in-law. In my eyes, they are just uncles and aunts. I am also very afraid that my parents-in-law will interfere with the life of our small family. , I would rather they not do any help and just come and play when they are free on weekends.

Every time his mother came, she kept helping us with the work. I was really at a loss and very embarrassed.

I feel embarrassed in my own home. Can this still be called home?

I also really don’t want them to give us all their retirement money to help us pay off loans and buy parking spaces.

Even if it takes another thirty years, this is still our own business. It’s not like I can’t afford it.

Although my husband said that this is normal, we are all one family and it is difficult to tell each other apart, but I really prefer that elders can think about themselves. After working hard for most of my life, it’s time to have fun and enjoy it. Lived. They use all their savings to help the next generation. Although they are willing to do so, I only feel a lot of psychological pressure.

(If you imagine, it is equivalent to people directly binding the happiness of your later life to your small family. This is indeed what many traditional parents with dedication will do, but as a child , at least in my personal opinion, if I want to repay this kindness in the future, I will have to sacrifice my own freedom for them, otherwise it will not be morally equivalent. To put it a bit too much, I feel like. I was kidnapped by morality. Papi’s video a while ago also discussed this issue.)

I am currently pregnant, and I really don’t want them to help me take care of the baby in the future. When I'm the most tired, I hope that the environment I'm in allows me to move around freely without wearing a bra, and I can lie down or look ugly as I please. Only in this way can I feel comfortable. With them here, I will only be more tired, and I probably won’t be able to escape my postpartum depression.

This is like my husband having foreskin and hemorrhoid surgery. His lower body often needs to be exposed and ventilated, and the doctor happened to say that he is at risk of not having sex, which makes him depressed and feels incomplete (completely made up) (just to simulate the state of physical and mental trauma and drastic changes in hormones after giving birth), but I asked my parents to take care of him, for the same reason. No matter how rough his nerves are, how can he feel comfortable? (Not to mention that the parents-in-law will inevitably focus on the baby, which will cause secondary harm to the mother)

And I am very much looking forward to establishing a close relationship with the baby as soon as possible after the baby is born and learning how to Changing roles, how to be a mother. As a first-time mother, I was particularly unsure of myself. If people other than my husband and I felt too involved and I couldn't find my place, I would probably go crazy.

So I think that since they have established their own business and the couple has their own source of income, not only the parents-in-law, but also the father-in-law and mother-in-law have no obligation to help take care of the children. They have every right to enjoy their own lives within the limits of their financial resources.

If my husband and I can no longer survive and can only rely on the support of our parents, then we must be hopeless. Now during my pregnancy, I am also trying to make as much money as possible to save more for future expenses.

I feel that since my husband and I are married, we have to shoulder the responsibilities of the family. As a homogeneous body, apart from the emotional factors of loving the house and the womb, from a legal, ethical and moral perspective, we are all It is necessary to take care of both parents at the same time.

Gao Zan's answer is very clear, but it is too clear and it is difficult to implement it in reality. In reality, there are many gray areas. There are frictions, support, resentments, kindness, grievances, and tolerance. This is the state of family life for most people.

When your elders scold you, as someone who has never given birth to you, you do have the right to scold you back, but not everyone can scold you back, and not everyone feels the need to scold you back. . A completely reciprocal relationship is not realistic between anyone.

Personally, as long as we don’t get divorced, I will definitely support my parents-in-law.

As an only child, my parents must support me, and my husband has always welcomed my parents to live with us.

I also told my husband that if I have an accident, I only have two words to tell him, one is to be filial to my parents (both parents), and the other is that he himself needs to be happy. As long as you are happy, you can remarry or whatever.