Do you want to have a second child? Is the second child really to leave one more relative for the child?

Before I gave birth, my third aunt suddenly fell to the ground because of a cerebral hemorrhage. After a narrow escape, he was finally rescued, but he left behind the sequelae of paraplegia. There is only one child in the third aunt's family, my brother. At that time, my brother's children were still very young, and it was time for someone to take care of them. At this time, the third aunt fell down, and it is conceivable how chaotic the situation was.

Later, after discussion, my father's brothers and sisters also shouldered the burden of taking care of the third aunt, and each family took turns for one month to help the younger brother through the most sad time.

In this way, the third aunt went to her brother and sister's house. Fortunately, my father has many brothers and sisters, four daughters and two sons. Third aunt is in trouble, and there are five others who can help. It is the third aunt's family that makes all of us see the benefits of having more children.

If there weren't so many brothers and sisters, I don't know how my aunt would face it during that time! In the Spring Festival that year, at the second sister's house, my brother cried and said that he needed his family in the most difficult time and thanked his relatives for their help.

It is in our family that one child is too lonely and one child is too tired. When you are old and need someone to take care of you, a child should shoulder the heavy responsibility of four old people and his own children. There's too much pressure.

In the family, there is also the concept of more children and more happiness. It is said that if you have more children, you will be tired when you are young and enjoy it when you are old. My aunt and they also told the children that your aunt (here is my mother) gave birth to three children. Although she used to be a little tired, she is very happy now.

2. My growing experience

My three sisters had a hard time at home when we were young, and both parents needed to go to work. Since I became a mother myself, I really realized that my parents were too difficult at that time.

Because there are three children at home who need to study and raise. My parents contracted the pigsty of the unit, hoping to earn some money by raising pigs. I did make a little money at first. But a swine fever made all the pigs sick. Although my parents slept in the pigsty day and night, it didn't help. That year, we always heard that our parents often quarreled. That year, we always saw our mother's tears.

In this context, our three sisters grew up, got married and had their own children.

Although, my mother was too tired and bitter when she was young. But the rest of my life, on the whole, is ok. My mother's idea is that a child is too lonely and needs two children, and in the future, children can also have a companion.

3. The present situation of my family

Therefore, we three sisters, my second sister and I each have two children, and my sister has one child. When my mother was in the hospital, she kept talking about asking my sister to have another child. He also said that when she was discharged from the hospital, she would let her elder sister get pregnant and have a second child.

Who knows? My mom just left. Big sister wants to have a second child now, but she can't. There is no one to help her with the children. Therefore, she completely dismissed the idea of having a second child.

Me, two children. Pregnant with two children, my mother took care of me herself. My mother helped me, including my eldest son. My mother took the boss with her until he was three years old. Therefore, the boss has deep feelings for my mother. For a while, even I didn't want it. I missed my mother.

My second child, my mother took care of me for five months, and then gave it to my in-laws.

I have a person here to take care of my children, but the pressure of raising children is increasing. I dare not resign or lose my job. Because once I lose my financial ability, my small family will immediately fall into a state of financial difficulties. And my two children, probably, will not get the kindergarten fee.

1, inspection fee.

I work in a hospital myself, so the cost of examination is not much. At that time, in addition to filing and four-dimensional color Doppler ultrasound, there was a Down's screening in other hospitals, and all other examinations were done in the hospital where they worked. I was pregnant with a second child, so I had to drag out an ignoble existence because I hadn't completely let go of the second child at that time. Therefore, as soon as I found out that I was pregnant, I immediately went through the formalities of leaving my job without pay and went back to my hometown. All the tests were done in the maternal and child health hospital in my hometown.

So the cost of my physical examination is definitely lower than others. But that's it. The maternity leave fee for two children should add up to about 10 thousand!

2. The cost of having a child:

I gave birth to two children, both of whom were born naturally, both in our hometown, so the cost of this piece is relatively small.

I gave birth to the eldest, and had a natural birth. I was born in our county people's hospital, and spent 2800 yuan to make a * * *. However, on the third day of birth, eldest brother got neonatal jaundice and was sent to the incubator for a few days. It cost more than 6 thousand.

The second child was born in our county maternal and child health hospital, which cost 2600 yuan. The second child also found neonatal jaundice, but this time with experience, he insisted on his decision, did not send an incubator, took it home to bask in the sun, and took gardenia yellow medicine to relieve jaundice.

3, the cost of raising children:

Medical expenses: My boss is in poor health. On the third day after birth, he entered the incubator and gave off blue light. Fever 4 1 degree before the second month, followed by cold, acute enteritis and herpetic angina. Before I was three years old, I had been in the hospital several times. I feel that when the boss was a child, catching a cold was a common occurrence for him. If you are not careful, you will catch a cold and have a runny nose. My second child is in good health. However, there was a congenital preauricular fistula at birth. The whole face was swollen during the attack. Later, there was no way to take it to the provincial children's hospital for surgical resection.

Before the two children are three years old, in terms of medical expenses, I think it will cost at least tens of thousands. I haven't calculated the details.

Milk powder and diapers cost: I am lazy. Use diapers for children at other times, except during the day in big months. So this cost is relatively high. Plus the diapers I bought for my children, which is also the brand I chose. I chose the curious gold diaper, which is used by both children. Boss used diapers until he was one and a half years old. The second child used diapers until he was over two years old.

My boss breast-fed for ten months, and then drank milk powder that loved him. At first, I had three cans of milk powder a month. Later, I slowly ate more other things and less milk powder. I drank until I was three years old.

My second child was breastfed for five months, then sent back to his hometown, and has been drinking milk powder since then. When I first brought it back, because I didn't add complementary food and so on, and my second child had a good appetite, so my second child soon drank too much milk powder. At first, one can was more than four cans. Later, it was not until after the age of two that it was reduced to three cans. Later, as the children grew up, they ate less and less milk powder. At the age of three, the second child has two or three cans of milk powder a month. Later, the children went to kindergarten, stayed in kindergarten during the day and picked them up after 4: 30 in the afternoon. The amount of milk powder has decreased again. On the 29th of last month, my youngest son said to me, "Mom, I have run out of milk powder. Please buy it for me again." I thought for a moment and gave him a rest. He is almost four years old, so he can stop drinking formula milk and give him yogurt or pure milk.

Milk powder+diapers, this cost, before the two children are four years old, is huge. I haven't worked out the exact cost yet, and I'm not going to forget it. Spend it!

Kindergarten fee: My two children are currently in kindergarten. The boss's monthly consignment fee is 1400, which is the cheapest here. In our community, there are actually two kindergartens that are particularly close to home, but the tuition is more than 2,000 yuan per month. I think it is too expensive and I don't want to give up. So, try harder and send the boss to a kindergarten far away from home with a good reputation. The second child is currently attending kindergarten in his hometown, and he pays 6 thousand a year. It's very cheap.

The cost of raising children:

Dance interest class: The boss likes dancing. According to the normal charge, each class is 40 yuan, two sessions a week, and 80 yuan every week. Because the dance school is a little far from home, it can't be reached directly by bus, so every time I take my children to class, I take a taxi, and I take a taxi back and forth to 25 yuan. Every time children finish class, they want to go to the store next door to buy snacks or something.

When I was in a dance interest class, I took part in various exams and competitions. Grade examination, at present, the child is preparing to take the second grade examination. Registration fee 160, and then prepare to participate in a performance of blossoming flowers, with registration fee of 760.

Weiqi Interest Class: Insist that Big Brother attend Weiqi Interest Class for two years, one class is 30 yuan, and two classes are held every week. Because I didn't think he had made any progress in this respect at all, I didn't sign him up for the exam or something. Let him play together!

Piano lessons: I reported piano lessons to my boss before, but later I gave up because he didn't like it. A piano lesson costs 273, which we can't afford.

Others, such as drum sets, are ignored and don't learn. One is the problem of children, and we can't insist on it. The other is our economic ability. We really don't have that great economic strength to keep our children studying. At present, it is enough for children to keep an interest and learn well.

Expenses for raising children at ordinary times:

I like buying books for my children. The bookshelves at home are almost all children's picture books or books such as Juvenile Convergence, Labyrinth and Painting. We spend a lot of money on it every year.

My children love snacks, especially the second child. It may be because the second child is not with me and I feel guilty about the second child. So under normal circumstances, if the second child has any requirements, I will not hesitate to promise the child.

Children grow up faster, and my two children have inherited their father's temperament of loving beauty since childhood. They refused to wear other people's clothes. Even if the boss can't dress the second child, the second child won't. So the cost of buying clothes and shoes every year is also quite high.

Next, let me talk about me and the father! We are all people who work hard on our own wages. My husband's family, a rural person, faces the loess and faces the sky, and lives by growing and selling vegetables. Although my mother's family is from the county, she is a retired civil servant in such a remote small county, and the monthly pension can be imagined. Therefore, parents can't give us any help, and everything depends on ourselves.

I used to hate my brother. I am 10 years older than my brother, so I watched him be born. I kept him awake on the first night of his birth. I am in charge of next month. Since I had him, everything in my world has revolved around him. He was thin since he was a child, and his family environment and atmosphere had a great influence on him. Later, I came out early to work for him to study, and I played the role of father and mother in him. He was afraid of me when he was a child, and his parents' dereliction of duty caused him to be rebellious and undisciplined. Many times, I assumed the responsibility of education when I was a minor, which is definitely very lacking. During my brother's numerous truancy, surfing the Internet and fighting, I felt broken and desperate for countless times. Whenever I am desperate, I hate it when parents care about their children. I hate that they give me such a big burden. Hate their incompetence, and having children ruined his life.

Now that I'm married and have children, my brother still comes to me for big and small things. My brother and I have more affection than love, and he is more afraid and alienated from me.

Something happened at home this year, others bullied our family, my brother stood in front of me, and I suddenly felt that I didn't feel anything at ordinary times. When something goes wrong, as long as there are so many people, it is at least a kind of spiritual support; Over the years, I have let go of a lot of resentment in my heart.

Later, a friend of mine was an only child since he was a child. After marriage, her husband's family died one after another, leaving only orphans and widows. Her husband's married sister took all the houses they demolished, leaving only the one they lived in. She said it would be better to have more brothers and sisters. At least someone discussed something, which is also a kind of spiritual support.

This really gave me an idea about the second child. My first child is a daughter, and I want another son. If someone bullies him in the future, at least someone can protect her when we are old and weak, or when she enters the delivery room, a family member firmly says it is important to protect her ... these are all later words. The two children should not be too different in age, so they can be childhood playmates. Judging from these personal experiences, I am still in favor of having a second child. But regarding the responsibility of education, parents must not be absent. No one can replace the education of children.

1. Some people say that brothers and sisters are the best gifts parents leave their children.

My three sisters have never lacked playmates since childhood. Now they sometimes help each other and sometimes borrow money from each other for turnover. I am far away. Last time my father was ill, my sister and brother told me, and they didn't tell me until my father was cured. When I went back, I regretted being far away and not taking good care of my parents. On the one hand, I am especially grateful to have them.

When we were young, we would quarrel and fight. But if someone annoys me one day, my brother will come to protect me at once. Now that he has grown up, he will drive to pick me up every time he comes home. I feel so powerful.

Of course, the relationship between children is more balanced by parents. Since you choose to have a second child, you have to sacrifice a little, including time, energy and hard work ~ ~

I have two children, too. They play together and sometimes grab toys. I usually take care of my daughter's feelings and never buy two toys. Try to let them learn to help each other and learn to cooperate.

6. Every night when I sleep, my son always holds his daughter, and the picture is very warm.

7. Parents will eventually grow old and give their children a companion. At least in the future, they will have confidence and help each other when they encounter difficulties.

8. However, they killed their old mother in partnership, and her little heart collapsed, but they will go crazy with them and enjoy the fun of innocence. There are graffiti and toys all over the walls of our house.

Hello, I am the mother of two babies. I just gave birth to two babies, two months old. Dabao is 3 years old. I just went to kindergarten, and it's hard to take care of the baby. The ups and downs of this period are only known to me. Why should I plan to have two children? Because I'm afraid, I love my big treasure. I'm afraid that when I get old and sick, his pressure will be very heavy. I am afraid that when we are old and gone, he will be left alone, even though he will have his own home! I'm afraid I can't educate him well. Even if he is willful and bad at school and unfilial to his parents, I am afraid of many things. Maybe I have two children and two children have a companion. Even if one doesn't learn well, one will become an example! Of course, I can't let them succeed!

Although it is very tiring to take care of the baby, it will be a little harder in the first year. When they can walk, even if they get through it, it won't be so difficult. I like the excitement at home and imagine my children and grandchildren running around in the future. What a lively scene! No children, just two children, two is enough! The most important thing is to have company and not be lonely. ...

Hello, I'm Mai Sui, the mother of @ Lazy Kamael Mai Sui.

I can answer this question firmly before Maisui is one year old. I am really afraid of not having a second child, the dangerous experience of pregnancy and childbirth, and the hard work of raising a baby at an early age. But I got through the scar and forgot the pain. Hahaha, now my brain is always loose.

Easy parenting with wheat, wonderful life!

I don't think having a second child means giving the child one more relative. In my heart, relatives are the first people to stand up and help you when you are in trouble. No matter what happens, relatives will support you.

Of course, some two children really get along well, helping and caring for each other. But this is too little.

The relationship between the two children is mostly ordinary, even enemies.

There are many reasons for this, some are fate, I don't know, fate is good, no matter what; Bad luck, anyway.

There is also the reason of parents. There are no impartial parents and two children in the world. Parents always favor one side a little more, which will cause the other side to be hostile to the other.

More importantly, when two children grow up and get married separately, the relationship becomes complicated, and many times they will be helpless and involuntarily.

I really haven't seen a man who is poor and has many difficulties, and his brothers and sisters can help him unconditionally.

We have an old saying here that relatives only need relatives and brothers only need brothers. People want their relatives to be rich and have a good life, but they don't want their brothers and sisters who are related by blood to live a good life and have money.

This is also in line with human nature. People tend to be jealous of people close to them.

Having a second child does give the child an extra relative, but the nominal relative is not worth mentioning.

Parents should not have so many unreliable ideas, such as giving their children one more relative or giving the elderly one more child. The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

I really want to ask those who advise to have a second child:

1. Some girls want boys and some boys want girls. Are you really spelling "good"? Didn't the teacher teach you the words "so sad", "so mean", "so shameless" and "so disgusting" How can having a baby become a crossword puzzle? Be serious, okay?

2. And those who keep saying that their children are lonely and want to find a companion for them, look around for themselves. How many sisters and brothers get along well? How many remarried couples were persuaded by their brothers and sisters? Brothers, can there be no contradiction, no dispute, defeat the enemy without fighting, and Gao Xiang set himself on fire! What are you going on a date for? Fight? Or can we talk about unplugging the oxygen pipe when we are dead? I'm afraid I'm old and have no one to support me, so I'll educate my children well, okay? Two unfilial sons add up to a dutiful son? Your math teacher teaches Chinese?

People are going to have a second child, why not follow suit? People's stars are cheating. Why don't you cheat with them? Several houses have tens of millions of deposits, and you still don't know which bank to pay the down payment with your wallet ... If you can't afford it, bring one set, and there are two sets. You are so confident and productive. This must be Ma Yun? Not Ma Jiajue?

I am afraid that a child will become a lost family without it! I'm sorry for your curse on the child, but you're not alone! After all, I'm not afraid of death and no one will lift me. Don't worry, now that the country is making great efforts to control air pollution, you won't lie there and stink ... if there is no plan, the two will become families who have lost their families!

5. Having one is also a life, so is having two! Your boss eats a bowl of rice, and your second brother can eat enough? The boss goes to kindergarten, but the second one doesn't? Boss, if you get married and buy a house, won't you have a second child? Why not wear two pairs of cotton shoes in winter? How about swimming in two swimsuits in summer? Take responsibility for what you say. God told you to talk with your mouth, not talk nonsense with your mouth!

Do you want to have a second child? Is the second child really to leave one more relative for the child?

Do you want to have a second child? Everyone has their own ideas. It is meaningless to speculate too much about others, because there are too many reasons. Maybe he wants to have a son, maybe he wants to have more sons? Maybe I think I should have two children, maybe I should have two more when I see others giving birth to two, maybe I'm afraid that the old one is unreliable, and I'm afraid that having one more child will give me more protection, maybe I'm afraid that the children will be lonely, maybe. . . . . Too many.

Whether to have children or not depends on someone.

Will the second child leave one more relative for the child? I will. Because this is a blood relationship, one more child naturally has one more relative. This is an iron existence, without doubt.

I also want two children, a girl and a boy. I gave birth to a girl. Pregnant with a second child, I learned that my daughter had a miscarriage. This is the cruel reality.

I want boys, I am poor, I am not independent enough, I am not strong enough, I am selfish, I am heartless, and I am cruel. That is the reality. I regret, I feel guilty, I suffer, I feel sad, but it's all over and lost, which is also a reality.

So, do you want to have a second child? Ask yourself, why have a second child? Is it because of your own thoughts or external influences? Can you bear the worst plan after the arrival of the second child? Do you think it's safe enough to have a second child? Ask yourself.

Decided to get pregnant. She gave birth when she was pregnant. You have to raise it when you are born. If you raise it, you have to teach it. It's a long way. If you are afraid of the pain of pregnancy, think about it: ten months of hard work is a lifetime. It is worth thinking about.

The second child is not only to leave one more relative for the child, but also to leave one more relative for the parents and one more offspring for your blood, which is very beautiful.

A normal family has more than one child in the world except China. Why does dealing with the relationship between two children become a problem in China now? That's because the one-child policy has lasted for 30 years. Nowadays, most of the only children who are parents have no ability to deal with various relationships and are used to exclusive enjoyment. Therefore, they want a bowl of water and can't do it, which is very depressing. Children are unhappy, chickens fly and dogs jump, and brotherhood is out of the question. They became another person competing for resources with themselves. They are not enemies, and they can't be relatives. The reason is not children, but parents, who are also victims of the post-80 s and post-90 s.

The second child policy is actually a rectification, because the problems brought by the 30-year policy are already very serious. The aging society is ahead of schedule, the proportion of men and women is unbalanced, and families who have lost their independence are lost. Society has changed, and people living in it can't be immune to it, and they will be affected one day. Therefore, sober people should not defend the rights of the only child, but should adapt to more complicated family relationships. This is normal.

In a family with many children, children will automatically find their own position and get along with their parents, siblings or younger siblings. As long as parents don't interfere too much, children can coordinate this matter by themselves. With the increase of such families, children will not have new ideas that I should be the only one in the family. Dabao, who has the strongest opposition, was generally born around 2000. They have been only children for a long time, and there are no families with many children around them. They feel that they are different from their classmates, and having more brothers and sisters is a burden. This is the result of love in previous years. Is there any Erbao, who has a sound personality after entering the society? Children born after 2006 have a much higher acceptance of the second child, because there are many such situations around them, and there are dialogues between brothers and sisters, so when they want to be brothers and sisters, their psychological influence is not so great and they will not feel special. Coupled with the correct guidance of their parents, the process will be much smoother.

So it's not impossible to accept a second child. He doesn't want to be special. What parents should do is to let every child learn to enjoy this brotherhood. In addition to parents, there is another person who will worry about you, worry about you and love you. There are quarrels, reconciliation, competition and cooperation. In the future, when you step into the society and meet all kinds of people, you will look at it from another angle. The first lesson for boys and girls is actually at home. In many marriage and love programs now, this boy is in good condition, but he won't get along with girls because he has no study and no environment. Most only children are self-centered, right? That's right. He hasn't learned how to be selfless and considerate of others. Before he grew up to 20 years old, his family thought of him, and he didn't need to think of others.

Brothers and sisters are a kind of fate. When I grow up, I can practice independently and have a concern, which is worth living together for more than 20 years. If parents don't arrange their children from head to toe, from birth to death, and only consider cultivating their children to go their own way, there will be no disputes. If your eyes are low, you can calculate what you can get from your parents instead of thinking about what you are fighting for. That is the failure of family education. People can only rely on themselves forever, and the emotion of leaving interests is pure. No one is responsible to anyone but himself.

Do you want to have a second child? Is the second child really to leave one more relative for the child? Maybe you are looking at this question, you are free at work, and you just politely responded to the urging of your husband's family after a phone call.

Maybe you are watching this problem, changing the baby's diaper, surfing the internet and enjoying a rare rest moment.

Maybe you are watching this problem, playing with your baby, watching him grow sturdily, wanting ta to have a younger brother and sister, but worrying about all kinds of realistic constraints.

Maybe you come from a traditional family of 42 1 in China, and there is a little pressure from the top to the bottom that makes you breathless. You don't want your children to bear the double pressure after middle age, but how can you be sure that having a second child will give ta a better life?

Maybe you have just given birth and returned to the workplace for a long time, and the fast pace after you come back makes it difficult for you to adapt. You should consider all kinds of bottlenecks in your career development after having a second child.

Maybe you are an only child. Sometimes when I look at Dabao's big eyes, I will think of my loneliness when I was a child, and I will wonder if I want to give ta a family partner when she grows up.

Maybe you watch the social news of orphan families, feel sorry for passing on the family line, and want to know if you want to have a second child, so that you can have more hope and companionship for the future.

……

If a person drinks water, he knows a lot about water. Whether to have a second child is an important choice in life, and the main body of choice is your family. Life is an exercise, not an exam. There is no standard answer, or even absolute right or wrong. Every fork in the road folds into a different future. This is the openness of life, and it is also a multiple-choice question that we have to do.

Comprehensive consideration, responsible for their own choices, responsible for themselves. I believe you must have your own standard answer.