Dust off the past and look to the future? —— When the autumn and winter of 2065438+09 ended, I remembered those things.

A choice and a decision of 20 18 lit up my other life; 20 19, we are all dream catchers, so I buried myself in the classroom called "Little Water Drop" in the second primary school, bent down to live and wanted to grow up!

I will still be here in 2020, dreaming like a horse, sweating like a spring, and living up to my youth in Do not forget your initiative mind.

Looking back at every step I have taken, I have carefully considered whether I am willing or not, and whether I have no regrets. The answer is: choose what I like and like what I choose; As always, forge ahead.

I often ask myself, why do I have to ask myself and answer myself tens of thousands of times every time I make a decision, and why do I always take action after telling my answer? It's just a habit. It's just a problem. I am always afraid that I will do something that I regret. Without selling regret medicine, I will first give myself a powerful reassurance, that is, let myself see my determination and decision in advance, and don't leave myself a backward path or go back, that is, I will die.

Employment, marriage and work are all the same.

Open the dusty story

Employment, I will never forget my first choice. I remember when I was a freshman, a junior college student. I don't know what magic prompted me to stand on a stage that didn't belong to me. After I got the interview topic, I didn't flinch, but started my own "long speech". At that time, how could I be so impulsive that I completely forgot that I still had one year to graduate. At best, it is "newborn calves are not afraid of tigers"; at worst, it is "overreaching". Now think about it, you were really naive and arrogant at that time. A plain little girl with no background, who will pay for your willfulness and arrogance? In the face of others' doubts and sighs, I was once guilty and my legs were weak for a moment. But it lasted for a moment, a moment, because someone tolerated my willfulness and supported my arrogance. Who is he? It's President Nie, an amiable and respectable real educator, President Nie. He kindly told me in Wanrong Mandarin that when you graduate, you can come to Yuncheng New Education Experimental School if you want. In a word, I immediately stood on the podium, and I instantly became a confident me. In this way, one year has passed, and I am already a guest in the graduation contest, and I will no longer participate, because I promised to go to President Nie's school, and he gave me steps, tolerance and support. It was this obsession that made me give up the public examination, choose another job, come to Yuncheng ahead of time, and come to the new educational experimental school I yearned for.

I was "tired" there because I didn't know anything when I first entered school. I need to study textbooks, prepare lessons and give lectures, manage classes, learn the mode of home-school cooperation and exchange, and learn the new educational course "reading in the morning and reading speeches at dusk" and other experimental topics. I also need to train and prepare lessons in the hard-won winter and summer vacations. Have you ever flinched? To tell the truth, this idea came one after another, especially when I saw my classmates leaving one after another, passing on a new job and life. I also asked myself if I still want to stick to it. The answer is to stay and see if I can hold on, so I stayed.

If employment is a choice, then marriage is undoubtedly the first difficult choice in my life. Marriage and employment were multiple choice questions at that time. If I choose to get married, I will leave my new school and choose a new one. I will miss this person. My husband was in Qingdao and his career was on the rise. Once he comes back, there is nothing to start over. Young people don't want to give up their jobs or the people who know them best. After many twists and turns, we finally found it difficult to choose. When President Nie, President Lian and President Li learned about it, they didn't blame me or embarrass me. But analyze the pros and cons for us like parents, saying that the new education will always welcome me back. This is the second tolerance that President Nie gave me.

It is with this sentence that I feel as if I have gone to further study instead of leaving my job. I left. Because this sentence mentioned President Nie and school leaders every time in our marriage, my husband always showed respect and gratitude, so when we came back again, we agreed not to go to school, but to go to President Nie's preferred school, unless we were too far away from school life to go back to school. So I came back after learning and experiencing more knowledge and skills, worldly wisdom, wind, frost, rain and snow, and returned to President Nie's school, even if I am tired and busy here, as long as I am willing. What's more, under the management of President Nie Dongdong, I experimented in Xingang No.2 Primary School. This is a real place for education, a place where the principal is willing to see you grow up, a place where you can make mistakes and correct them, and a place where I feel a sense of belonging. I have many roles here, whether I am a student, a teacher, a mother or a parent.

A story about to be sealed.

I have been in charge of this class for more than a year, and we have passed the running-in period perfectly. Seeing these children now, I no longer have that kind of intentional distance, because we have entered each other's hearts, and the children are no longer close to me just because I am his teacher, but because we have established a relationship and trusted me. I can't list the stories of the class one by one, because there are different stories every day, and I will be moved and angry at that moment. After that moment, I can't find the same feeling anymore, so since I can't write the original words, let me stay in my memory and savor them slowly.

Children can form a habit before reciting lessons every morning. Summer Night and Xinyao Club, who are in charge of PPT presentation, make preparations in advance, organize everyone to practice cucurbit before the morning exercise on March 35, and organize everyone to practice English songs before the morning exercise on February 24, while I just stood silently at the back of the classroom and watched these children immerse themselves in their own voices. I like this state, and I like such children.

In the recitation class this semester morning, we "enjoyed the moon" together, looking for Su Shi's "Wish a long time, thousands of miles away" to enjoy "Mink Head". As time goes by, the Mid-Autumn Festival is getting closer and closer to us. My children and I collected stories about Mid-Autumn Festival from different angles. As we know, the prevalence of Mid-Autumn Festival began in the Song Dynasty, and by the Ming and Qing Dynasties, it had become one of the major festivals in China, just like New Year's Day. The Moon in Mid-Autumn Festival was soaked in Chinese by China literati in their poems, and it has been so meaningful in our eyes ever since. Tao Yuanming and his chrysanthemum, "picking chrysanthemums under the east fence, leisurely see Nanshan." We sing, appreciate and praise these poems and different chrysanthemums, and absorb these beauty and sublimity into our lives, so that one day, we will give chrysanthemums and Double Ninth Festival-or another flower another day-a unique meaning with our own life feelings. "Flying, flying, I like what, but is a sandpiper in the vast world! "We know Du Fu again: an intellectual who cares about the country and the people, a Confucian disciple who takes" making the monarch Yao and Shun superior, and then making the customs pure "as his own duty, and a Du Fu who cares about the world with" a million mansions, a great refuge for the poor in the world "; A Confucian gentleman who is worried about the fate of the country, a modest gentleman who is worried about not realizing his ideal ambition, a father who is worried about his children, a husband who is worried about his wife, and Du Fu who is trying to be an official and wants to do his bit for the Tang Dynasty.

In class, the children are immersed in beautiful words. I don't know how much preparation and information I have made for this morning's recitation. It's not that I work hard, but that I have too little knowledge to learn and supplement. But also because I want to live up to the children's saying, "Teacher Zhao knows so much!" In fact, Miss Zhao doesn't know that she is studying secretly, but she is studying hard in places you can't see, just to make you all hear clearly. So don't worship me, children. As long as you are willing to work hard, you can do it at any time, even surpassing me.

As for reading, we are still in the exploratory stage. The rest of the class books can no longer satisfy the children's desires. Although our afternoon reading class this semester is in The Journey to the West, the most suitable place for children to read among the four classic novels, the children are still stuck in the film and television drama The Journey to the West they have seen and can't sink into the text. We had a hard time in the afternoon reading class. They are so familiar with the plot that it is difficult for them to chew the words. Take it with the teacher and walk slowly. We need to take it for a while next semester. After all, you must learn to walk by yourself before you can go far. I don't want my children to study The Journey to the West. With the consent of parents, each person will donate at least three books to the class at the beginning of school, write down the numbers and names, and the group leader will register them. After all these books were collected, we worked out the "borrowing rules for class books" together, and began to borrow books from the group leader in turn on Monday, and registered and signed them for the group leader on Friday. You can't change books in the bookcase halfway, but you can change books privately, which not only ensures that children have books to read. At the end of the term, two books were lost in the class, which was very good compared with before. In the case that the borrower was not found, the class fee was decided to bear the compensation for the lost books. Continue to use this method next semester to save costs and expand income.

When children grow up, they should not only look with their eyes, but also look with their hearts. In the past, anyone could read Diary of Sunset Province at will, but now if you pay attention, you will find that many children's notebooks are closed and isolated from the outside world. Sometimes when you read a book, you will see them folded up with a small line: Miss Zhao, you can read them, but don't tell anyone, ok? Or: Miss Zhao, I don't want to circulate this diary in the class. Children of this age are in a sensitive period. They say he is stupid, he knows everything, he says he is not stupid, he is careless and stupid, but he doesn't know how to study, only how to play.

While paying attention to children's academic performance, I am more concerned about their mental health. Children nowadays are very fragile in their hearts. I don't know whether life is too beautiful or life has harmed them. Many parents are always busy with work and don't communicate with their children. Some parents didn't even know that their children were on holiday until Friday afternoon. They always wait until all the children in the classroom have left. I called him and he said, Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Zhao. I forgot that today is Friday. You keep the children waiting at the concierge. I'll pick them up. Looking at the child staring at my mobile phone and listening to the words coming from there, I can feel the anger and helplessness of the child, but on the surface he is silent and helpless. Usually, we instill in our children that mom and dad are busy making money so that you can go to a good school, eat well and dress well. Children choose to understand, but they can't accept this kind of forgetting and neglect. At this time, I will not choose to listen to my parents and lock them in the concierge. I will wait in the classroom with them, or take them home or nearby, because I am also afraid to bear this feeling of loneliness and neglect. Maybe I went a little too far, that is to say, I'm used to parents who always forget their children, because there are teachers at the bottom, and children can't be lost, and it's the same as picking up early. But I want to say that I am not used to my parents, and I care about my children. I have children, too, children their age. I know that just because children don't say anything doesn't mean they don't complain. What I want to do is to reduce their resentment, give them a warmth and do my best to give them.

The theme of this final exam is to write about your parents' love for you, intercept one or two scenes and describe your parents' love for you through specific examples and details. There is a child in our class who didn't write a word in the examination room. He is not a poor student who knows nothing. On the contrary, he is a student who loves reading, has ideas and often discusses problems with you in class. It's not what everyone thinks. He is a single-parent family. His family is complete, and his parents are very active and enthusiastic parents. Then why not write it? The child said I had nothing to write. Imagine that a fifth-grade child has lived with his parents for so long, how can he have nothing to write about? The child was in tears, but it was nothing special and impressive. Finally, the child said, I'll make one up. It's okay to get points for the exam. But think carefully about what is hidden behind this matter, that is, companionship, that is, parents have lost their companionship with their children. My parents work all day and do their homework at home on weekends. The meal is prepared in advance, so just heat it yourself. What to do during the holiday? Send it to remedial classes. Parents are children's bank ATMs. Parents will be satisfied when they need money, and they will always be absent when they need company. So what do you ask your child to write and how do you write it? You can't say that parents don't love their children in this life, but there are fewer scenes and fewer details. So please don't choose to use money instead when your child needs you. The satisfaction of money is far less true and reliable than the companionship of parents.

I promise to give you a company.

After this incident, I also began to reflect on myself and review myself. My child is right beside me. I am closer to my children than other parents, but what have I done for them? After dinner, the child came to me and I asked what was wrong. Nothing, just line up and go back to the dormitory. Come to me during the break, and I said why not go to the activity team. Come to me after night study. I said I was tutoring the students in my class. Don't come to the classroom. Take a book back to the dormitory to read. Do such mothers and children have unforgettable life scenes and more details? I always ignore him. I think he has his teacher, he has his classmates, he has his business, don't always come to me. Day after day, my children and I were abandoned. I'm his mother and he's my son, which can't be changed. Other relationships and family ties stop at the sentence "I have something to do". Am I busy? I'm busy. Are you too busy to care about children? No, far from it.

When did you know you were a mother and when did you begin to exercise your rights as a mother? That is, after the exam. No matter how busy you are, you always have time to ask, "How was the exam? How many points did you get? " Is it too late to ask? Knowing the score is nothing more than criticizing the child for being like this and why you don't study hard. The teacher's sentence that the child is in a bad state is enough to answer all my questions. What have I done? I didn't do anything. I only care about my grades, not even my children's studies. What's the use of such a mother? If you can return it, it is estimated that the child has already returned it. After several such incidents, I realized that I had neglected my duty and lost my responsibility as a mother. I was wrong, really wrong. Son, please forgive your mother's mistake and allow her to correct it. You should walk slowly and your son should give her time to correct them. At this time, I realized that, accidentally, my son was in the fourth grade, and the primary school was going to end in two years. The child can't afford to delay or lose. Mom will accompany you in the future! Come on, son, mom is with you; Go boldly, son, with your mother. ...

At the end of each semester, I am always afraid to summarize and write narratives, because I am far from doing as well as I planned at the beginning of the semester. But the only thing that can comfort me is that I've been working hard and I'm in always online, and I've never been disconnected. There were too many feelings in my mind during meditation today, so I used the topic of "the last narrative" to talk about my emotions and my heart. Truth is often a double-edged sword, sometimes it becomes a sword in others' hands, and sometimes it hurts people around you unconsciously. No matter who hurts, it's not good, so I hope my sword is a blunt sword without a blade and won't hurt the other side.

An agreement and an expectation

The pace of the Lunar New Year is gradually drifting away, and in a blink of an eye, it is a new year. The old calendar, let it stay in its original place, and keep company with dusty time; New year's wish, what a warm and powerful sentence! Year after year, year after year, with expectations in mind, life will be much brighter, days will be full of colors, and life will have unlimited hopes and pursuits; Expectation is a beautiful agreement. In the future, I expect more sincerity and warmth in human feelings, more openness and pursuit in my work, and more poetry and hope in my life. ...