When people grow old, their children are not filial. What is the root cause?

When a person reaches old age, his or her children will be unfilial, and his later life will be miserable. However, "there is no love without reason, and there is no hatred without reason." No emotion arises for no reason. In fact, the fundamental reasons for children's lack of filial piety are nothing more than the following three points:

1. The old people themselves do not respect their own old people, and it is their own fault.

Some old people, when they were young, thought that their elders were a burden and were never filial. Time goes by, and when I grow old, I do not develop a family tradition of respecting the elderly. My children follow the example and start not to respect themselves.

There was an old man whose son was unfilial to him and cursed him loudly. The old man got angry and said: "You scold me, I am your father"! The son retorted: "I scolded you quite well. When you were young, you even beat my grandfather!" One sentence made him speechless.

2. The elderly dote on their children excessively and educate them improperly.

Some old people dote on their children too much, holding them in their mouths for fear of melting, holding them in their hands for fear of breaking. They have gone through countless hardships, but they are reluctant to let their children suffer a little injustice. As a result, as the children grow up, they develop selfish, domineering and unruly characters, without responsibility, responsibility, and love. One day, they will no longer be useful, and they will naturally be disliked by their children.

3. The elderly were incompetent parents when they were young and lacked love for their children.

Although some old people were parents when they were young, they were incompetent and failed to fulfill their obligations to raise and educate their children. They have problems with their own conduct and are not good people. Therefore, when the children grow up, there is no relationship between the two parties, and the parents have a very bad impression in the children's minds. For such parents, the children have no feelings of kindness at all. When they grow old, it becomes a luxury to want their children to be filial. When people get old, their children are not filial. What is the root cause?

Yesterday at the rest area at the entrance of the shopping mall, I met an old lady who was chatting about her family with a middle-aged elder sister beside her. The children, while talking, were trembling and wiping tears.

This old lady is eighty years old, her back is hunched, and her hands are trembling. She bought a ten-pound bucket of cooking oil from the supermarket, and bought some carrots, onions, and potatoes. The son called and asked him to come and pick her up. He said that something was wrong at work and he couldn't come out, so he asked her to take a taxi home. Then the old lady cried like a big sister beside her, saying that her children disliked her and didn't care about her. go back. The eldest sister said that she would let the children buy these things in the future. She said that she was not satisfied with what the children bought. About half an hour later, the old lady staggered away.

My first impression is that her children are so outrageous. The old lady is 80 years old, and she is still allowed to go out and buy things by herself. But then I calmed down and thought about it, and I remembered what the old lady said: She didn’t think the things her children bought were what they wanted. Honoring parents is our traditional virtue. Our country's laws stipulate that children have the obligation to support their parents.

But when people reach old age, why do many old people say that their children are unfilial?

First, children’s lives are stressful, they are busy at work, and they have little time to spend with each other. The elderly feel lonely and neglected.

Second, the elderly do not have pensions, and their children are overburdened and do not want to bear the elderly's living expenses or medical expenses.

Thirdly, people become overly picky in their old age and cannot tolerate their children's living habits. They often have conflicts when living together.

Fourth, doting on your children since childhood has developed a self-centered and irresponsible character in your children.

Fifth, elderly care problems occur frequently in families with many children, mostly because the children are dissatisfied with certain practices of the elderly, or the children blame each other, forming a situation where one monk has water to drink and two monks have to carry the burden. Drinking water, the situation of three monks without water.

I have a friend whose sister has no job. After divorce, she lives with her children at her parents’ house all year round, relying on her parents’ pension. My friend tried to persuade her to find a job many times but was choked back. Every time my friend comes home, his father says that the economy is tight and he doesn’t have enough money, but he turns around and uses all the money to subsidize his second daughter and nephew. And he would tell everyone he met that my friend wouldn’t visit him. Friends said they were also very sad.

So, are many children really unfilial? After all, we have thousands of years of traditional virtues. I personally feel that there are still very few people who do not respect their parents from the bottom of their hearts. Here are some suggestions for parents.

First, don’t be too harsh on your children. Your children will express their love for whatever they buy. If they are not used to their children’s living habits, you can treat them as invisible. Taking good care of your own body is the most important thing.

Second, parents of families with many children must pay attention to balancing the relationship between their children. Sometimes a decision made by a parent can be the trigger of conflicts between children.

Third, if children really do not honor their parents, parents can take up legal weapons to protect their rights and interests.

In fact, the most important thing for people in old age is health, and this kind of health is not only physical health but also mental health.

Finally, I wish all the elderly around the world good health and a long life.

It is common to see some elderly people crying and complaining that their children are unfilial. In real life, many people do engage in unfilial behavior. For example, many years ago, an 80-year-old man in Tai'an, Shandong Province, went to ask for a bowl of noodles from his son because he had no one to take care of him during the Spring Festival. As a result, his son and his daughter-in-law hung him from the beam and whipped him, and finally died out of resentment. go.

However, while various unfilial behaviors are condemned, few elderly people reflect on themselves. The old man in question never realized that his children were unfilial and he might be the initiator of all this.

Let’s take an example from life: One of my neighbors got a son in old age. Perhaps for this reason, he loved his son in every possible way until his love went too far and became arrogant. No matter what happens, whether it is reasonable or not, he always puts his son as the center. As a result, he spoils his son into a selfish and self-centered ungrateful person. The old couple's old age was very miserable. Their retirement salary was squandered by their son every month. Sometimes, because they had no money in their pockets, they had to accept donations from neighbors.

Everyone said that the old couple had an unfilial son, but no one asked - who created this unfilial son?

This is just an example. In fact, there are many reasons for children’s unfilial piety. For example, some parents have very serious paternalism and have subjected their children to domestic violence since childhood. Some parents are also very partial and partial among their children. ,,,,, all of these have the potential to create unfilial sons.

Let’s use another analogy: There is an aunt. Her daughter stole something from a classmate when she was in elementary school. Who knows, many years have passed, but she, as a mother, still remembers it. Later, her daughter was admitted to a key university in Beijing, but this aunt wantonly blocked her, insisting that her daughter was a thief and was not qualified to go to university. Later, with the help of her high school teacher, her daughter overcame her mother's obstruction and went to college. After graduation, she stayed in Beijing to work as a teacher. She refused to see her mother until she got married and started a family. And this aunt was shouting everywhere, saying that she had given birth to a supercilious and unfilial daughter - let me ask anyone with a discerning eye, who is to blame for such an ending?

Therefore, when we unfortunately encounter unfilial children, don’t forget to reflect on ourselves.

If your children are unfilial, this should not be unfilial for no reason. People say that parents are the best role models for children. First of all, reflect on whether you have been unfilial or disrespectful to your parents, parents-in-law, and other elderly people in the family. ? If you yourself are like this, then you can't blame your children for being unfilial to you. This is called picking up what you like, and retribution will come.

If you have a good family tradition, your children will grow up in a well-educated environment that respects the elderly and loves the young. When you grow old, your children will not be filial to you.

When people reach old age, their children are not filial. The most fundamental reason for this is of course that there is something wrong with your education as a parent. I haven't paid attention to education in this area since I was a child, or I have my own problems, so I have to teach by words and deeds.

1. Education issues since childhood, honoring parents and respecting the elderly are the fine traditions of the Chinese nation for more than 5,000 years. However, parents do not know how to educate their children. They indulge in blindly and satisfy their children's requirements and desires without any principles. They do not establish a good family tradition. If they find small problems and do not correct them, they will gradually lead to problems. Bad moral character.

Second, you don’t know filial piety yourself, and you don’t know how to be filial to your parents. If you teach them by words and deeds, your children will not know how to be filial. “Everything you do will be repaid.” Your disrespect for your parents will also be met There is no leakage at all, and it even gets worse and comes back to you. This is nothing to blame.

Third, parents’ love for their children may be caused by mistakes in their ways and methods, which may cause harm to their children. For example, they do not understand their thoughts and feelings, but forcefully instill their own practices and make choices for them, which makes their children disgusted and disrespects their thoughts and personalities. When they grow up, they will still learn from their hearts. Rejecting you, even if I want to love you in my heart, but still showing resistance and non-cooperation in life, cannot be said to be filial.

Fourth, children are too materialistic. Today’s society and economy are developing rapidly, everything is material-based, and materials fill the entire life. Naturally, thoughts become materialistic. For example, if children are often rewarded or comforted with material things, then when the children's minds are filled with interests, the family affection will become weak and taste bad.

In short, when people reach old age, they realize that their children’s unfilial piety is all the fault of their own education, but it is too late. They have to blame themselves for everything. If they are not educated properly, they will suffer the consequences themselves.

In real life, many elderly people live happily and have harmonious families according to their own wishes, but for some elderly people, things go against their wishes and their children are unfilial, which can be said to be a miserable life in their later years. The main reason lies in whether the elderly can teach their children by words and deeds. Whether they can lead by example, educate and influence their children to develop in a good direction depends on whether they can understand the wisdom of life and whether they can be an unpleasant old man.

Parents are their children’s best teachers. As children grow up, they are deeply influenced by their parents in a subtle way. If you want your children to know how to honor themselves, you must set an example, respect the elderly, serve as a role model, educate and influence your children. In a family, if the parents use extreme words and decadent emotions to express their views on things or people, the children will also feel this way of dealing with problems, and will become restless and easily nervous. If parents often quarrel, swear, or use cold violence, the child will subtly become aggressive, act irrationally and rudely, or refuse to accept communication or cooperation.

If parents are enthusiastic and kind to their friends and neighbors, and are filial and sincere to the elderly, what their children will remember is not what their parents said, but how their parents behaved as they saw them. If parents lead by example, treat people, life, and everything with a loving attitude, and set a good example for their children, their children will know what is useful, and love will take root in their children.

Elderly people should not interfere in their children’s lives, so that everyone can live a relaxed and happy life. In life, old people who are used to going to bed early and getting up early should not blame young people for going to bed late and getting up late; old people who are good at budgeting should not blame young people for dumping leftovers and discarding old furniture; The sky is nagging, and I don’t care about this or that. I just worry blindly, which makes me tired and annoying my children. There are always differences in concepts in life. There is no need for the elderly to argue. They must learn the wisdom of life and learn to pretend to be confused.

If conditions permit, it is best for the elderly to live separately from their children. The elderly should fundamentally admit that they are indeed old, and should not demand their children with inherent thinking and concepts. They should not think that they should be centered on you, but should fully implement your instructions and obey your wishes. We must face the development of the times with a positive and optimistic attitude. Don’t be entangled in the past, don’t be troubled by the present, and don’t fight, grab, or be angry about the future. Be yourself, please everyone, and don’t be annoying.

If the elderly want to be happy in their later years, they must have a healthy body and have independent financial resources. If you want to have a good body and reduce the burden on your children, you must strengthen appropriate exercise and increase immunity. You can go out for a walk, visit the supermarket, help buy some daily necessities, and regard washing, cooking, and taking care of children as a kind of pleasure in life; or you can read books, read newspapers, and share national and world affairs; dance square dances, and practice Practicing Tai Chi, chatting about oil, salt, firewood and rice; planting flowers and raising grass, cultivating one's nature and feeling happy. We must also maintain a correct attitude and not engage in crooked ways or increase our children's troubles. You can also learn unknown knowledge, broaden your horizons, don't let yourself be idle, and have fun in old age.

At the same time, you must have an independent economy, have your own small treasury, or buy an insurance so that you can easily meet your daily expenses. Children who have been ill for a long time without a filial son, no matter how filial they are, will not be able to withstand the torture when faced with a bedridden old man, because they also have their own lives, and they will also have difficulties in being unable to do so.

If you have two children, the old man should try his best to keep a bowl of water even. He should not love one or hate one. The palm of the hand is flesh, and the back of the hand is also flesh. They are all born from the same mother, so why should they be divided into good and bad? You will like a child who cries, talks, and does what you want more. You will give him priority in everything that is good. On the contrary, a child who is taciturn, rebellious, and always does things against you. If you treat your child less favorably, this kind of partiality will only become the main cause of family conflicts in the future.

Children are smart, and they understand everything their parents do. Although they don’t say anything or have any opinions once or twice, what about three or four times? Even if he is generous and does not care about everything about his parents, there is no guarantee that his other half will not complain or hate him after he gets married. If the elderly can treat things fairly and treat them equally, no matter how big or small, will their children not understand the lack of filial piety?

No matter you are born into a noble family or a poor one, an old man can educate and influence his children to develop in the right direction. He can be enthusiastic, kind, kind and kind, be strict with himself, be lenient towards others, and be able to do everything possible. If he can put himself in others' shoes and put himself in others' shoes, he will be welcomed by everyone. I sincerely hope that every elderly person can read more and learn more, improve their own quality, strengthen their self-cultivation, and become a person who is content and happy in old age.

Have you ever been filial to your parents? Parents' words and deeds in family life will affect the living conditions of the next generation of children. Teaching by example is more important than teaching by words!

Before answering this question, let me first tell you the story of Uncle Li in our hometown.

Uncle Li is over 80 this year. He has a son and a daughter. The daughter married away from home and left a son to live with him.

Although Uncle Li is not young, his body is still strong, but one of his legs is a bit disabled and he walks with a limp. Despite this, he still pushes a small bucket truck around every day, rummaging through garbage dumps and construction sites to find scraps that can be sold, such as steel bars, cardboard, plastic pipes, etc. After collecting a few, he sells them to scrap stations.

On a good day, I can earn 4 to 50 yuan a day, and on a bad day, it may only be a few yuan. I can often meet him outside, pushing a small cart and walking slowly with a limp. , I think he is quite pitiful, but poor people must also be hateful.

According to Uncle Li’s son, when he was young, Uncle Li was lazy and didn’t take care of the house very much. His mother took care of it all by herself.

Moreover, Uncle Li is a very shameless person. He often brags outside and says that he has done so many things, but in fact he has not done anything at all. Uncle Li's son is quite complaining about these past things.

Uncle Li’s wife said that although her husband is very old, he doesn’t care about cleanliness. In such hot weather in summer, he does not take a shower for a day. His whole body exudes a sour smell and his clothes are dirty. He won't change it even if it's discolored, and the small house he lives in is also very messy, with things piled everywhere.

She didn’t even know how to wash the white mosquito net after it was stained. She went out to pick up garbage every day and it was dirty. She didn’t clean it up when she came back. She just went to the table to eat with black hands. She really couldn’t stand it. She didn't change it despite telling her many times, and she helped clean it a few times, but it returned to its original state after a while. She was really powerless and didn't want to take care of it anymore.

Although Uncle Li now lives with his son and daughter-in-law, he does not eat together. He cooks everything by himself and lives in a small corner of the house.

Through the story of Uncle Li, we can see that in fact, most children are basically filial to the elderly. However, because some elderly people made some mistakes when they were young, the children cannot untie the knot, or It's because I'm getting older, and I can't correct some of my problems. I even rely on my elders to show off, and I always think about how much I want to gain from my children.

In fact, the more this happens, the farther away the children are from the elderly. On the contrary, those elderly people who always think about their children, dress neatly, pay attention to hygiene, and do not care about how much their children give them, when they can still move. I never thought of relying on others.

Such old people are more respected by their children, and they will come back to visit them after shopping during the New Year and holidays.

So, we must be self-reliant and self-loving at all times in order to be loved by others. As for the elderly, don’t always expect to raise children to provide for them in old age. When the children grow up, they can have their own lives. Don’t interfere everywhere and be able to support themselves. That's the best thing. There is a sense of boundaries between each other, which can make people closer.

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When people get old, their children are not filial. I think the fundamental reason is that the wife is unvirtuous and the son is unfilial, which cannot be cured. According to my chat with the elderly, there are many reasons, and the main reasons are as follows;

First, if the son is unfilial, the father and the son will do the same, because parents are good examples of children who do not forget their original aspirations. The root cause of children's mistakes is that adults have not taught them well. Based on China's five-year tradition of continuous education, children's words and deeds are based on what adults do and learn to grow. Filial piety comes first. First of all, you must honor your parents well and plant a good influence in the hearts of your children. When you are old and can no longer walk, and they grow up, it is natural for them to honor you. of. On the contrary, if you behave unfilially towards your father, your children will treat you the same.

Second, "people are inherently good by nature". Parents should establish a friendly relationship with their children and do not often beat, scold or hurt them. Especially when children grow up, they also have self-discipline. Do the opposite. Don't alienate them at will. Understand the children's psychological wishes and create a good growth environment. They will repay the kindness in return, which is conducive to harmonious physical and mental harmony. Family responsibility.

Third, today's society, because everyone has one child, the phenomenon of spoiled parenting is more common. The hope that the son would become a successful child turned out to be a rebellious son with all five poisons, which chilled the hearts of adults and left him unable to cure and regretful. You know how much better it is today than back then. It is imperative to strictly pay attention to the early education of children.

Therefore, when you are old and foolish enough that your children are not filial, you should not complain too much, because you don’t pay much and gain very little. If you raise them young, they will definitely To support you in your old age. Everyone has the responsibility to respect the elderly. This is a traditional concept that is obligatory for children.