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How to pronounce humorous sentences in a circle of friends with leg pain?

The circle of friends is as follows:

1, my leg hurts like pulling a battery today. It's a good thing I'm not a robot, otherwise I have to find a charger to plug it in.

Leg pain is like being hit by a dwarf with a hammer. I wonder if there is a mine hidden in my leg.

The feeling of leg pain is like being bitten by an invisible monster. Now I wonder if I went to the monster's territory when I was dreaming.