It's funny.

1. I think my brother is a handsome guy, too, but the years have ruined me.

2. I recently bought a box of mask powder online, which should be made of honey or yogurt. Here comes the mask. I went to the supermarket and bought a box of yogurt. When I opened the yogurt, I felt that my face was not that important.

It's good of you to leave, otherwise I would have kept you for dinner.

4. Whenever I fail to lose weight, whenever I make a fool of myself in class, whenever I get bitten by mosquitoes, whenever I get sunburned, whenever I complain about the troubles of life, whenever I lament my misfortunes, my best friend always arrives in time and says: Hahahahaha. ...

I heard that this year's college entrance examination is particularly strict, which is none of my business. I won't take it anyway. Tell me the funniest thing.

6. Dead vines, old trees, faint crows, air-conditioned WiFi watermelons, and the same Ge You sofa, which I put aside at sunset.

7. A beautiful female colleague, her husband sent her lunch and left without saying anything. The new male colleague asked: Who was that just now? She replied: take-away delivery. The newcomer asked again: Why didn't you give money? She said: no need to give it, just sleep with him at night. The male colleague was silent. The next day, he brought her a four-course and one-soup lunch, and the whole office burst into laughter.

8. You can't wake up a person who doesn't return your message, but a red envelope can.

I went on a blind date today. The other person is a very quiet and beautiful girl. She had a good chat. When she left, she asked me, are you always so gentle? The girl said faintly, "I am usually so gentle and still come to blind date?"

10. Do you know why people are jealous of talents? Because nobody cares how long a fool lives.

1 1. Looking at the sweaty courier on a hot summer day, I handed him a bottle of cold beer. He swallowed it in one gulp, burped and asked me what to send. I said, "You drink it ..."

12. I can give you a gift on June 1, but if you don't give me a gift on Father's Day, don't blame me for disowning someone.

13. The summer vacation is so long, you must find someone who can pick watermelons together.

14. In the year of college entrance examination, I got 200 points, and my mother's friend's children got 680 points. My child has gone to a key university, and I want to work. Nine years later, my mother showed off to me and my mother that her son had applied for a project manager with a monthly salary of over 10 thousand, but I was thinking: should I hire him?

15. Asking what the world is like will only make people die unsatisfied.

16. In summer, I don't object to girls wearing skirts, especially short skirts, but why should they wear safety pants inside? I got up from the ground angrily.

17. Today, my father asked me why I don't have a boyfriend. I said I had never seen anyone like you. My dad said, forget it, you can't compete with your mother at all.

18. Your cheeks are reddish, like a pig's head swaying in the wind.

19. Be sure to remember those who chat with you late into the night. It is because of them that you stay up late, which makes your dark circles so heavy and your skin so bad!

20. If you can't find someone for a long time, you should reflect. Do you ask too much about gender?

2 1. Gradually, I understand a truth, often those humble small restaurants can eat real delicious food. I can't afford to stay in hotels with gorgeous decoration, exquisite cooking and thoughtful service.

22. After half an hour in the hot sun, I was sweating like a pig, and finally I waited for the goddess to appear. After going up to tell her, she said to calm down. She must like me, otherwise she would be so considerate.

Although I am indifferent to you at ordinary times, there are actually many bad words behind it.

24. I once talked to a buddy about drinking, and I said, "It doesn't matter if you drink some wine, as long as you don't drink too much to tell the difference between the north and the south." After listening, the buddy replied huskily: "It doesn't matter whether it is divided into north and south, but it must be divided into men and women."