Every day, mom wants to talk to you (2)

Dear Tian Tian: My son, when my mother came back from you last Sunday, her heart was very heavy. On that day, you made a request to your mother and expressed your concern about whether your study abroad life could continue. My mother saw that you were annoyed by this incident, full of worries about your future, and worried that you could not finish your studies.

? Mom knows that mom didn't empathize with your concern at that time, and you are anxious, because at that moment, mom really felt that if the family Qi Xin worked together, things would always be solved, so mom said this to relax you and broaden your mind, but when she came back, she really realized that she didn't empathize with your emotions and didn't see your kindness at that moment.

Mom called your father on Monday because she wanted to know what your father thought about it. He just said, "I have no money now anyway. We'll talk about it then. " Such a sentence prevaricated my mother. This makes my mother very helpless, powerless, angry and wronged. "Why, whenever mom thinks life can be better, your father will disturb her quiet life like this; Why, after ten years of ups and downs, my mother can finally catch her breath, live a normal life, and finally do what she likes. Your father has come to give me a problem again. " No matter how you feel when you see your mother say that about your father, my mother doesn't want to keep it from you. This is how my mother feels now.

Every day, do you know: your father was like this ten years ago, and he is still like this ten years later-he turns into an ostrich whenever something happens, burying his head in the sand and not wanting to pull it out. That night ten years ago, your father came to tell your mother that he liked another woman. Not long after, he left us for Beijing without saying anything. From that moment on, your mother and your life have changed greatly.

? Mom completely fell from the peak of happiness to the bottom of her life, and it took nearly ten years to climb out of the bottom, because since she fell into the bottom (the bottom she thought at first), her life has been falling: from the time you got school phobia and didn't go to school, she took you everywhere for medical treatment until her mother mistakenly trusted others, made the wrong investment and lost nearly 700,000 to 800,000. In order to fill these gaps, I later borrowed more than 300 thousand from others. Since then, I have been living in debt. Making money and paying off debts has become the main law of my mother's life. My mother paid for your study abroad agent and English class with a credit card. It was not until last year that my mother chose to sell her house to make up for your tuition and pay off all her debts that she felt that she could finally catch her breath.

? Mom came to tell you, not to slander your father, nor to tell you how miserable your mother is. Mom just wants to tell the truth now, just want to tell you what your mother has experienced. Many facts are not what you think and what you see. In that marriage, my mother was as injured as you, not the one you thought would ruin this family. My mother just wants to recognize her injured self, but also understands that she is responsible for her own life.

? In these ten years, I feel deeply guilty about your mother. Because of this guilt, my mother doesn't even want to see the injured person herself. She kept saying, "Because my mother didn't do well, your father fell in love with another woman." "Rationalize your father's behavior, but these" are really like this? Really, mom didn't pay for this family? "Today, my mother feels that she doesn't need to be that saint, she needs to be that perfect mother and wife. I need to speak for myself: my mother has to admit that she has been hurt, just like you.

Maybe in your mind, your mother didn't play with you and take good care of you, which made you enter kindergarten at an early age. If her mother had better choices at that moment, she wouldn't have made those choices. Maybe one day, when you really step into the workplace and enter the real life, you will find that many things are not what you want to do. Many times there are compelling reasons, and many times it is completely involuntary. Maybe you have a lot of resentment and hatred for your mother in your heart, and because of these resentment and hatred, you can't see her efforts, her hard work and her last resort. So now, mom wants to tell you the story that happened to her over the years:

Since your father left Tongguang Nortel for You Xiang Science and Technology, his income has decreased a lot. My mother majored in architecture. At that time, there was a great demand for the development of architecture, so during my mother's work in Fiona Fang, with the rapid development of the construction industry and the characteristics of this major, I needed my mother to spend a lot of time at work. My mother is pumped up like a top. She can't stop working or stay at home.

At that time, everyone was trying to buy a house and a car, desperately making money, in order to live decently. At that time, your father's income was just enough for some expenses at home, but the big expenses were estimated to be unaffordable without his mother's work: the down payment of the house you live in now was paid by her mother with a one-year bonus, and the name was written by her father (the remaining half was paid by her father); The car mom at home also paid1/3; Every year on holidays, mom will give you a bonus and buy clothes and gifts for your grandparents. Every time the company goes out to travel, my mother will take you with her. Many of these expenses are paid by my mother. My mother is telling you all this now, not to take credit from you, but to let you know that my mother has paid a lot in this family and this marriage. Maybe in recent years, you think your mother is too stingy to give you money. It's not that her mother doesn't want to give it to you, but that she really can't. If you don't know where the next meal is, do you have any extra money for others?

Perhaps because of the nature of your father's work, he often goes in and out of some entertainment places, but my mother never doubted your father, because my mother believed in him and his responsibility to this family. It's just that your father failed his mother's trust and betrayed her several times. Your father told all this to your mother. Every time I hear his confession, my mother will go crazy for a while. This is also the reason why your mother often made unreasonable troubles during that time, because these facts really made her hard to accept, which was completely beyond her tolerance.

I remember when your father told his mother that he liked Aunt Zhou Hui, her mother really thought that your father was just taking part in accidental amusement, just trying to help others out of kindness, but he was confused and did something wrong, but he still had a mother in his heart, so when Aunt Zhou Hui tried to commit suicide, and then her family tried to beat your father, her mother came forward to stop their behavior and accompanied your father to find her along the riverside scenery that night. But when your father found Aunt Zhou Hui, he dated her, and then hung the Yu Pei that Aunt Zhou Hui gave your father around his neck. When he came back to see his mother, he told her that Yu Pei was given to him by a colleague. Your father will handle the renovation of the house bought by mom, but your father will regard the house as a place to date Aunt Zhou.

My mother never told anyone about these things, because it made my mother feel humiliated, wronged and angry. I think my mother is an idiot, and she is still counting money for others after being sold.

In this marriage, my mother was wronged and humiliated, but no one can say, dare not say, for her own face, for your father's image and face, my mother can only hold back her tears in her stomach. Every day, have you ever thought about how uncomfortable and wronged your mother is when you point all your anger and resentment at her and blame her blindly? Every day, my mother is really fed up with all this, your indifference, your lack of response to my mother, and your father's repeated demands on my mother. Enough, enough of all this, so my mother will tell you all these feelings, whether you want to face it or not, whether you want to understand my mother or not. Telling you this is not telling you to hate your father, because he still loves your father no matter what he did to his mother.

To tell you the truth is to let you know that my mother has worked hard for this family, and her mother is worthy of her conscience, even though she has done something inappropriate. Like you, my mother used to be a victim. Every day, as much as you feel uncomfortable, my mother feels uncomfortable. How angry you are, how angry your mother is, not less than you, maybe more.

I tell you this more because I want you to understand that you are not the only one who suffers, nor the only one who is unhappy. Many, many people have a hard life like you. It is precisely because we can see each other's efforts that we can understand ourselves and understand this truth. Maybe with this vision, we can loosen some things in life, such as hatred and resentment, because it is too difficult to carry these things on our backs. My mother guessed that maybe you were not happy either.

Every day, my mother sincerely hopes that with a smile and bright eyes, she will come back one day and hug her again. Every day, mom really doesn't need it. You have a lot of money and too much worldly success. Mom only wants you to live a healthy, happy and safe life.

Mom wrote this letter here first. There are many stories behind, and my mother will tell you slowly: How did my mother spend these years?

? Maybe when you read all mom's stories. You will have a new understanding and view of your mother. No matter how much you can see, what mom wants to do most now is to finish what mom should do, and the other moms will leave it to heaven to deal with.